Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Today)   Vanity Fair and 60 Minutes conduct a poll to see which actor would make the best Jesus. And, hooo, brother, you better believe some people ain't gonna like who won   (todayentertainment.today.com) divider line 156
    More: Amusing, Vanity Fair, jesus, Daniel Day Lewis, Denzel Washington, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Courtney Hazlett, Ryan Gosling, Al Pacino  
•       •       •

28336 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Nov 2012 at 12:50 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



156 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-11-01 09:13:56 AM  
Daniel Day-Lewis would be the better choice, simply because he would literally become Christ-like for a year or so during filming. He may even actually attempt to walk on water.
 
2012-11-01 09:26:38 AM  
Well, Morgan Freeman is god so this works.
 
2012-11-01 09:29:03 AM  
Woody Allen? Which Gospel portrays Christ as a short neurotic Jew? Must be one of the Gnostic Gospels.

naughtyrev: Daniel Day-Lewis would be the better choice, simply because he would literally become Christ-like for a year or so during filming. He may even actually attempt to walk on water.


Laurence Olivier would like a word with him.
 
2012-11-01 09:41:39 AM  
well, as a man born in the levant 2,000-odd years ago, he'd look a helluva lot more like denzel washington than jeffrey hunter.
 
2012-11-01 09:43:40 AM  
Too old. You would need some one younger than 40 and who definitely looks Jewish:

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2012-11-01 09:43:41 AM  
Gosling's got the abs, but not the chops.
 
2012-11-01 09:44:47 AM  
No Jim Caviezel?

Personally, I think Gilbert Gottfried would be a fabulous choice. It would be far more entertaining
 
2012-11-01 09:45:58 AM  
No, we obviously need a handsome, blue eyed, flaxen-haired caucasian man...y'know, how Jesus actually looked.
 
2012-11-01 09:46:40 AM  
"Hey let's piss off as many people as possible!". It's like every Fark troll ran a magazine.
 
2012-11-01 09:49:12 AM  

Mugato: "Hey let's piss off as many people as possible!". It's like every Fark troll ran a magazine.


This is an outrage!Everyone knows Jesus was Jewish.
 
2012-11-01 09:53:30 AM  
i253.photobucket.comI voted for the pooch from "The Artist."I'm ready for my close-up, er um my cruxifiction, Mr. DeMille.
 
2012-11-01 09:53:33 AM  
dan.hersam.com
 
2012-11-01 09:54:42 AM  

FlashHarry: [dan.hersam.com image 378x500]


BLASPHEMY!
 
2012-11-01 09:56:48 AM  

NowhereMon: Too old. You would need some one younger than 40 and who definitely looks Jewish:

[upload.wikimedia.org image 230x341]


You're assuming a bit much, it seems.

In the historical sense, there is NO Jewish look. We're accustomed, now, to seeing European Jews...but, that's not all there are.
 
2012-11-01 09:57:49 AM  

brap: [i253.photobucket.com image 488x799]I voted for the pooch from "The Artist."I'm ready for my close-up, er um my cruxifiction, Mr. DeMille.


That would be the Cutest. Crucifix. Evar.
 
2012-11-01 09:59:44 AM  
The much more interesting question is who would portray Mohammed? FWIW on the Jesus question now, the results now indicate "None of them": 49%; Daniel Day-Lewis: 27%; Denzel Washington: 5%.
 
2012-11-01 10:21:09 AM  
i.imgur.com

Obviously this guy.
 
2012-11-01 10:27:13 AM  

FlashHarry: [dan.hersam.com image 378x500]


reviewsin5.com
 
2012-11-01 10:36:34 AM  
Why has no one made a movie about Muhammad?
I bet it would be HUGE in the Muslim world!
 
2012-11-01 10:37:23 AM  
freeversephotography.com
 
2012-11-01 10:40:10 AM  

doczoidberg: Why has no one made a movie about Muhammad?
I bet it would be HUGE in the Muslim world!


I'd like to see a sitcom involving Muhmmad and Jesus as roommates. It'll focus on their wacky adventures that routinely annoy their neighbor, Buddha.
 
2012-11-01 10:44:54 AM  

I_Am_Weasel: doczoidberg: Why has no one made a movie about Muhammad?
I bet it would be HUGE in the Muslim world!

I'd like to see a sitcom involving Muhmmad and Jesus as roommates. It'll focus on their wacky adventures that routinely annoy their neighbor, Buddha.


With Moses as the landlord, and Confucius running the mini grocery downstairs. I smell a hit!
 
2012-11-01 10:47:07 AM  
Oh wow, I was way off. From the headline I thought we were talking about Hulk Hogan.
 
2012-11-01 11:00:09 AM  
The new Jesus is a near!
 
2012-11-01 11:20:10 AM  
I prefer redneck Jesus
i232.photobucket.com
 
2012-11-01 11:24:28 AM  

doczoidberg: Why has no one made a movie about Muhammad?


There have been plenty of movies about Muhammad ibn Abdullah. shiat, PBS had a series with the first hour entirely devoted to the life of the Prophet Muhammad.
 
2012-11-01 12:03:52 PM  

brap: [i253.photobucket.com image 488x799]I voted for the pooch from "The Artist."I'm ready for my close-up, er um my cruxifiction, Mr. DeMille.


I lol'd.
 
2012-11-01 12:08:44 PM  

Radak: [i.imgur.com image 446x400]

Obviously this guy.


Beautiful.
 
2012-11-01 12:15:46 PM  
What, no John Turturro?
 
2012-11-01 12:17:05 PM  

I_Am_Weasel: I'd like to see a sitcom involving Muhmmad and Jesus as roommates. It'll focus on their wacky adventures that routinely annoy their neighbor, Buddha.


the episode where jesus and mohammed try to get buddha laid is a classic!
 
2012-11-01 12:27:21 PM  
I always pictured Jesus in a tuxedo T-shirt. 'Cause it says like, I wanna be formal but I'm here to party too. I like to party, so I like my Jesus to party.
 
2012-11-01 12:52:04 PM  
Guess who's coming to Last Supper!
 
2012-11-01 12:52:50 PM  
"The sheriff is a ...!"
 
2012-11-01 12:54:27 PM  

dothemath: "The sheriffsavior is a ...!"


FIFY
 
2012-11-01 12:54:29 PM  

FlashHarry: I_Am_Weasel: I'd like to see a sitcom involving Muhmmad and Jesus as roommates. It'll focus on their wacky adventures that routinely annoy their neighbor, Buddha.

the episode where jesus and mohammed try to get buddha laid is a classic!


Second season they go to Hawaii. Has to happen if for no other reason than the pig roast at a Luau.
 
2012-11-01 12:54:36 PM  
I don't know that I'll get a single agreement, but:
images.contactmusic.com
 
2012-11-01 12:56:33 PM  
bonuscodepoker.com
 
2012-11-01 12:56:55 PM  
Obviously the best choice would be Ron Jeremy. He has probably heard more people call out the lords name in celebration then all of the others added together.
 
2012-11-01 12:57:29 PM  
Bobcat Goldthwait.

And Abe Vigoda could play Methuselah (provided Methuselah never died of course).
 
2012-11-01 12:59:22 PM  
 
Ehh
2012-11-01 12:59:23 PM  
Stoya?
 
2012-11-01 01:00:33 PM  
Patton Oswalt.
 
2012-11-01 01:01:20 PM  

eraser8: NowhereMon: Too old. You would need some one younger than 40 and who definitely looks Jewish:

[upload.wikimedia.org image 230x341]

You're assuming a bit much, it seems.

In the historical sense, there is NO Jewish look. We're accustomed, now, to seeing European Jews...but, that's not all there are.


Sure their is. Back in the "biblical" times, before establishing the communities across the world that we're familiar with (and who interbred with the locals they found) Jews in Israel pretty much looked like Palestinians. There's a reason for that...
 
2012-11-01 01:02:05 PM  
Maybe this jerk will do it after he loses:

christianmessenger.in
 
2012-11-01 01:04:04 PM  
img.photobucket.com
 
2012-11-01 01:05:11 PM  

NowhereMon: Too old. You would need some one younger than 40 and who definitely looks Jewish:

[upload.wikimedia.org image 230x341]


I see your under 40 jewish-looking actor and raise you a couple of stone:

collegepartyguru.com

/Stones
//Stoned
///Littering and....
 
2012-11-01 01:05:13 PM  
24.media.tumblr.com

"Now there's a fine upstanding black man.."
"Who?"
"Jesus Christ."
"Gary, Jesus was white."
"No, Jesus was black."
"I'm pretty sure Jesus was white."
"Nuh-uh-Jesus was black."
"Guys, guys! Jesus....was Jewish."

/everyone's a riddle bit lacist
 
2012-11-01 01:05:54 PM  

Hershey Highway Patrol: The new Jesus is a near!


I knew I wasn't going to get here in time.
 
2012-11-01 01:05:55 PM  

NowhereMon: Too old. You would need some one younger than 40 and who definitely looks Jewish:

[upload.wikimedia.org image 230x341]


I agree. I'm out on Denzel, not because of being black, but because he's too old. Jesus was estimated to have been in his early 30s when he was crucified, and Denzel is pushing 60.
 
2012-11-01 01:06:45 PM  
John Goodman would be my choice. Or Samuel L. Jackson. I'd love to see him go off on the moneychangers in the temple. "Hebrew, muthafarka! Do - you - speak it!"
 
Displayed 50 of 156 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report