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(Charleston Gazette)   State police evidence room burglarized, police on lookout for suspect with balls the size of watermelons   (wvgazette.com) divider line 29
    More: Interesting, West Virginia State Police, watermelons  
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3003 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Nov 2012 at 10:56 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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ZAZ [TotalFark]
2012-11-01 09:51:52 AM  
someone broke into the detachment through a window

Step 1 in the investigation: Was the window broken from the inside or the outside?
 
2012-11-01 10:30:19 AM  
i.imgur.com

Approves.
 
2012-11-01 11:00:30 AM  
"State police evidence room burglarized, police on lookout for suspect with balls the size of watermelons"

They should just look for someone wearing a Ritchie County State Police badge.
 
2012-11-01 11:00:32 AM  
MAGNETS biatch
 
2012-11-01 11:00:57 AM  
I'm in no way a conspiracy theorist, however doesn't it seem likely a police officer would be responsible? Probably to clear their name in a case where evidence was used fraudulently?
 
2012-11-01 11:00:59 AM  

Babwa Wawa: [i.imgur.com image 602x330]

Approves.


Came here to say exactly this

/magnets biatches, YEAAAAHH
 
2012-11-01 11:04:09 AM  
In before I hope the cops find the $1,000$500$240$20...$8 worth of cocaine and pot.
 
2012-11-01 11:06:16 AM  
datelinenews.org

Wanted for questioning.
 
2012-11-01 11:06:18 AM  
final-hit.org

I've got balls like watermelons, I'm telling ya.
 
2012-11-01 11:06:26 AM  
www.starstills.com
 
2012-11-01 11:08:31 AM  
s2smagazine.com

They'll take care of it.
 
2012-11-01 11:11:45 AM  
Out of the all of the things you could take from a police evidence room, why would anyone take watermelon-sized balls?
 
2012-11-01 11:12:23 AM  

Mitch Taylor's Bro: "State police evidence room burglarized, police on lookout for suspect with balls the size of watermelons"

They should just look for someone wearing a Ritchie County State Police badge.


I see this has been covered. I'll be on my way, now.
 
2012-11-01 11:21:15 AM  

BMFPitt: [s2smagazine.com image 371x256]

www.joblo.com


They'll take care of it.



FTFY
 
2012-11-01 11:22:38 AM  

ZAZ: someone broke into the detachment through a window

Step 1 in the investigation: Was the window broken from the inside or the outside?


Knowing WV finest they would see glass all over outside and deduce it was broken from the outside.
 
2012-11-01 11:24:05 AM  
From 1981:

SOUTH YARMOUTH, Mass., Oct. 8- The Massachusetts state police issued a nationwide alert today for a suspended lieutenant accused in connection with the theft of more than a ton and a half of marijuana from a state police barracks.
 
2012-11-01 11:25:09 AM  
Knew a guy who got into the Douglas County NE courthouse in the middle of the night, picked locks right into evidence and altered/obliterated serial numbers on a bunch of stuff - they knew who did it - he was their local Lex Luthor - but couldn't prove it because so many cases were affected. This was 20 years ago. Cops ended up framing him later they were so desperate to nail him. He's a free man today with a different name - smartest guy I ever knew.

My favorite stunt of his was poisoning Gatorade and food in his refrigerator after cops had searched his house the first time and helped themselves to his fridge. So he loaded some goodies up with nicotine sulfate (I think that's what it was) and told everybody who visited not to eat or drink anything on the lower shelf. Sure enough, they raid him again and two of them end up in the hospital, one almost died from a heart attack - what you get you thieving fattie for eating a Butterfinger you didn't pay for. They charged him but had to drop that one too, as the cops were stealing and didn't put two and two together before he cleaned up.
 
2012-11-01 11:27:45 AM  
Why? Because that's where the drugs is.
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2012-11-01 11:42:57 AM  
That's some fine police work there...
 
2012-11-01 11:43:47 AM  
southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com
 
2012-11-01 12:06:28 PM  
In other news... police recovered 150lbs of marijuana in a drug bust last week. The 100 lbs of marijuana was put on display at the local school anti-drug rally... The 50 lbs of marijuana was then stored in the police HQ for safe keeping. This week, the 25lbs of marijuana was stolen by someone, but police are investigating where the drugs disappeared to..
 
2012-11-01 12:07:08 PM  
Came for Bad Boys reference
 
2012-11-01 12:41:11 PM  
Came for breaking bad reference and leaving satisfied.
 
2012-11-01 12:59:40 PM  

LovingTeacher: Babwa Wawa: [i.imgur.com image 602x330]

Approves.

Came here to say exactly this

/magnets biatches, YEAAAAHH


Big farking magnet
 
2012-11-01 02:40:35 PM  
40 years ago I was the lone trustee in a low population county jail.One of my friends had been busted for growing two small plants.Pending trial,the "evidence" was kept alive on the windowsill of the sheriff's private office.Ground level,basement..........open window.Being left on my own on weekends,open cell,in a very relaxed place and time,I did what any true friend and long time pot head would do.Reaching thru the open window I yanked the plants from their pots,sending said containers crashing and breaking onto the floor.Oops!Dirt all over the floor.Double oops!.I retreated to my cell and ate the evidence,thus ending the state's case.They knew I did it but couldn't prove it.
One of my fonder memories.
 
2012-11-01 04:01:48 PM  
Am I the only one that still hates "burglarized" and wishes everyone would just use the proper "burgled"? Burglarized sounds like it should mean "to protect against burglars", in the same manner as "winterize" and "weatherize"...
 
2012-11-02 12:50:45 AM  
That's pretty podunk. I'd say some local dope heads knew it was unoccupied at the time (which isn't unusual in the more rural areas) and broke in to steal some drugs and maybe a gun or two. 

/Think Mayberry with a drug problem.
 
2012-11-02 02:44:11 AM  
Ah yes, those splendid days gone by.
In my late teens I was locked up because I had more time than money and didn't want to pay some traffic fines (I'm still rated as a habitual offender of speed laws, my insurance is about the price of a two year old Chevy).
I got to be a trustee which was a very good job.
First day sweeping the intake area, I noticed a pile of weed under the bench where four high school kids were sitting......so I went over and swept it up, then slipped it into my pocket...we had a nice lil party that night.
One of the older guys said he was going to be headed back to prison after his trial for weed.
What could I do?
What any blue blooded American would do, I bent a coat-hanger so I could fish in the evidence locker, coming up with lots o goodies...I didn't recognize many of the names or case numbers, but that night we once again had a fine old time.
The next morning I went with steely resolve to work fishing for the guys confiscated stash, and 3 ounces of pot, two grams of coke, and a bindle of meth later I had his key to the slammer in my pocket.
No evidence, no trial, he hugged me, and probably would'a kissed me but I'm really not into kissing boys, or men as the case may be.
I loved my trustee job, it was lots better than real jobs, but since ya gotta be in jail to be a trustee, well there is a point of diminishing returns.
My last job as a trustee was washing cop cars...since the hick burg I was in didn't have their own wash rack I was given a ring of keys and a bag of quarters and sent on my way in street cloths so I wouldn't draw undue attention. I went by the house to say high to the freaks, then smoked a hooter as I drove to the carwash, I managed to wash three more cars before lunch, I stopped again by the house for lunch and wound up eating a bunch of Psilocybin the freaks were capping up, then off to perform my official duties...sort of.
It turned out to be so much fun driving cop cars around I decided I'd get out on the highway and turn on the lights and siren and see how fast that muther'd go.
Pretty fast, burried the 120 mark on the speedo.
Cassie at the robo wash told me to just bring the rest of the cop cars there and robo wash em, so I saved a bunch of quarters and got the cars nice and clean.
I used the saved quarters to buy two dozen donuts for the cops, and two dozen for the crooks, and everybody was happy, 'specially the crooks, but I figure the free psilociyben had a lot to do with boosting the crooks moral.
Unfortunately they let me go the next day, which was two weeks early, if I'd known I got time off for exemplary behavior I'da screwed up more.
Oh yeah, this 70 or 80 year old cat was in jail,
so being a friendly type I asked if they'd busted him for drag racing again...
with a perfectly straight face he told me
"Well, I was working on the county farm...I farqed a pig and it squealed on me."
You meet the nicest people in jail.
 
2012-11-02 11:56:57 AM  

Stonerbloopers: That's pretty podunk. I'd say some local dope heads knew it was unoccupied at the time (which isn't unusual in the more rural areas) and broke in to steal some drugs and maybe a gun or two. 

/Think Mayberry with a drug problem.


www.thewvsr.com
 
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