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(HitFix)   Fatty Neck-Beards Need Not Apply: 10 dream directors to replace George Lucas on the next Star Wars   (hitfix.com) divider line 154
    More: Interesting, Star Wars, George Lucas, Drew McWeeny, Nicolas Winding Refn, executive directors, human beings, David Fincher, Ang Lee  
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4030 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 31 Oct 2012 at 2:26 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-10-31 03:23:31 PM  
content6.flixster.com

Hey, I think you guys forgot me.
 
2012-10-31 03:25:48 PM  

bossuniversalAA: [i796.photobucket.com image 268x250]

let's not come up with an original idea all at once, mmmkay?


The corpse of Divine as queen of the Hutts?
 
2012-10-31 03:28:34 PM  
dirtiest_sanchez: Unless we want more "Hold me, like you did by the lake on Naboo; so long ago when there was nothing but our love..."-type dialog, the focus should be finding dream script writers...
 
2012-10-31 03:29:36 PM  
The obvious answer is Kevin Smith.
 
2012-10-31 03:31:41 PM  

steamingpile: The obvious answer is Kevin Smith.


He's not really much for special effects shots. Will the camera even move half the time?
 
2012-10-31 03:33:23 PM  

dirtiest_sanchez: Unless we want more "Hold me, like you did by the lake on Naboo; so long ago when there was nothing but our love..."-type dialog, the focus should be finding dream script writers...


Doesn't even have to be dream script writers - you don't need David Mamet to write a good SW script (actually that would be fun). You need a couple of competent writers who understand the SW universe, have a good ear for dialog and know how to write believable characters; Disney probably has a few dozen or more that would fit the bill just between Marvel and Pixar.
 
2012-10-31 03:33:52 PM  
I'd like to see Darren Aronofsky's take on the Star Wars universe.
 
2012-10-31 03:38:20 PM  
no love for Tarantino?


Luke: Want some Tauntaun?

Han: No, man. I don't eat Tauntaun.

Luke: Are you Hothian?

Han: Nah, I ain't Hothian. I just don't dig on Tauntaun, that's all.

Luke: Why not?

Han: Tauntaun are filthy animals. I don't eat filthy animals.

Luke: Yeah, but tauntaun bacon tastes good. Tauntaun pork chops taste good.

Han: Hey, Gamorrean guards may taste like Princess Leia's pussy, but I'd never know 'cause I wouldn't eat the filthy motherfarkers. Tauntauns sleep and root in shiat. That's a filthy animal. I ain't eatin' nothing that ain't got sense enough to disregard its own feces.

Luke: How about a Jawa? Jawa eats its own feces.

Han: I don't eat Jawa either.

Luke: Yeah, but do you consider a Jawa to be a filthy animal?

Han: I wouldn't go so far as to call a Jawa filthy, but they're definitely dirty. But, a Jawa's got personality. Personality goes a long way.

Luke: Ah, so by that rationale, if a Tauntaun had a better personality, he would cease to be a filthy animal. Is that true?

Han: Well, we'd have to be talkin' about one charming motherfarking Tauntaun. I mean, he'd have to be ten times more charming than that Salacious Crumb on Tattooine, you know what I'm saying?

Luke: [laughing] That's good.
 
2012-10-31 03:39:06 PM  
Doesn't matter who it is, as long as they follow this one rule: Don't make the movie "for kids". Make it watchable for kids, but don't make it a "for kids" movie like the prequels were.

If this rule is followed, it'll be a success, if not, it will fail spectacularly. Mark my words.


tlchwi02: nolan would also be great (the complaints of his not being funny seem oddly misplaced.)


Also, this is where I knew the writer had no clue what they were talking about. There are great moments of humour in Nolan films. Stating otherwise kinda shows how much of a dipsh*t you are.
 
2012-10-31 03:41:56 PM  
I just wanna see a Star Wars with more action. Like the space battles in A new hope and Jedi were awesome. Empire had great stuff with the Hoth battle and Asteroid field chase. But menace had... Dino warz? Or whatever that was. Clones had a bunch of Jedi getting killed trying to kill a space cockroach infestation, and Revenge had some ok moments that were kind of sidetracked by crappy dialogue and a last lightsaber battle that was ridiculously long and pointless and had no drama, even though Ewan tried his best to give it some at the end.

I did enjoy the (to me) unexpected bonus of Yoda going up against Palpatine. That was something I always wondered what would happen, but never expected to see it.
 
Skr
2012-10-31 03:45:42 PM  
Guillermo Del Toro would rock it and laughs at your fatty neck beard comment.
 
2012-10-31 03:48:41 PM  

dirtiest_sanchez: Unless we want more "Hold me, like you did by the lake on Naboo; so long ago when there was nothing but our love..."-type dialog, the focus should be finding dream script writers...


So much this. Orson Welles or John Ford couldn't have saved The Phantom Menace from Jar Jar Binks.
 
2012-10-31 03:50:40 PM  

steamingpile: The obvious answer is Kevin Smith.


Yeah it'd be great to see an amateur actor in a major role go on an overwrought 5 minute monologue about how tauntauns are better than dewbacks.
 
2012-10-31 03:55:40 PM  
First 3 yes though I'd put Edgar Wright 1 then I'd add James Gunn, Zack Snyder or Robert Rodriguez and call it a list.
 
2012-10-31 03:56:51 PM  

sure haven't: tlchwi02: nolan would also be great (the complaints of his not being funny seem oddly misplaced.)

Also, this is where I knew the writer had no clue what they were talking about. There are great moments of humour in Nolan films. Stating otherwise kinda shows how much of a dipsh*t you are.


well, in the authors defense, not once has adam sandler been in a chris nolan film, and we all know that adam sandler is the bellweather of comedy in movies.

sure haven't: Doesn't matter who it is, as long as they follow this one rule: Don't make the movie "for kids". Make it watchable for kids, but don't make it a "for kids" movie like the prequels were.

If this rule is followed, it'll be a success, if not, it will fail spectacularly. Mark my words.


thats why i think brad bird. his "kid" pixar movies were just as great for adults as kids. he even managed to make tom cruise somewhat watcheable again.
 
2012-10-31 03:58:27 PM  

rickythepenguin: no love for Tarantino?


HAN: No, no, I just want you to know... I just want you to know how sorry we are that things got so farked up with us and the Emperor. We got into this thing with the best intentions and I never...

VADER: [Vader force-chokes the man on the couch] I'm sorry, did I break your concentration? I didn't mean to do that. Please, continue, you were saying something about best intentions. What's the matter? Oh, you were finished! Well, allow me to retort. What does the Emperor look like?

HAN: What?

VADER: What planet are you from?

HAN: What? What? Wh - ?

VADER: "What" ain't no planet I've ever heard of. They speak Basic in What?

HAN: What?

VADER: BASIC, Banthafarker, do you speak it?

HAN: Yes! Yes!

VADER: Then you know what I'm sayin'!

HAN: Yes!

VADER: Describe what the Emperor looks like!

HAN: What?

VADER: Say 'what' again. Say 'what' again, I dare you, I double dare you banthafarker, say what one more gaugan time!
 
2012-10-31 04:01:54 PM  

tlchwi02: well, in the authors defense, not once has adam sandler been in a chris nolan film, and we all know that adam sandler is the bellweather of comedy in movies.


Ok that made me lol in real life.
 
2012-10-31 04:03:26 PM  
What we hope for:
img.gawkerassets.com

What we get:
www.washingtonpost.com
 
2012-10-31 04:05:06 PM  
How about Scorcese? I know it seems as if I'm being daft, but after Hugo it's clear he can tread that line of movies for kids that adults can enjoy just as much. Plus it would be visually stunning and the dialogue wouldn't be of the prequel variety.
 
2012-10-31 04:05:26 PM  
Steward Lee. He directed both "Revival" and "Ghosts of Mortis" episodes of The Clone Wars and those were pretty bad ass.
 
2012-10-31 04:10:39 PM  
Since Irvin Kershner is gone, Lawrence Kasdan.
 
2012-10-31 04:12:10 PM  
Why not let Guy Ritchie direct a Brit caper SW episode... hell, they film the movies in England anyway. Jason Statham as Han Solo... could do worse.

Solo: No, Chewie. There's a blaster in your trousers. What's a blaster doing in your trousers?
Chewbacca: blaarrgh.
Solo: Protection from what? "Zee Stormtroopers"?
 
2012-10-31 04:12:33 PM  
Also, no Rick McCallum involvement, shoot that guy into the Sun.
 
2012-10-31 04:13:07 PM  
Mr. Luke: This is a very weird situation. 'Cause I don't know if you remember back in '86 there was a major farking drought. Nobody had anything. People were living on resin... -smoking the wood in their pipes for months. This Corellian had a bunch. And he's begging me to sell it. So I told him I wasn't going to be Jez Porkins anymore, but I would take a little bit and sell it to my close, close, close friends. He agreed to that, said we'd keep the same arrangement as before; 10%, free pot for me, as long as I helped him out that weekend. He had a brick of weed she was selling, didn't want to go to the buy alone. His brother usually goes with him but he's in system unexpectedly.

Mr. Yoda: For what, was he? Mmmmmm!

Mr. Luck: His death sentences. Got a bounty. They stopped him for something, found bounties on him, took him to the Death Star. Now he doesn't walk around alone with all that weed. I don't want to do this. I have a very bad feeling about it. Like millions of voices cried out but were suddenly silenced. But he keeps asking me, keeps asking me, keeps asking me, finally I said OK 'cause I'm sick of hearing it. Now, we're picking the guy up in Mos Eisley --

Nice Guy 3PO: Wait a minute. You go to Mos Eisley to pick up the buyer with the weed on you?

Mr. LUke: The guy needed it right away. Don't ask me why. Anyway, we're get to the bar and we're waiting for the guy. I'm carrying the weed in one of those little carry-on bags. I got to take a piss. So I tell the connection I'll be right back, I'm going to the boys' room. So I walk in the mens' room, and who's standing there? Four Stormtroppers and a farkin' bounty hunter.

Nice Guy 3PO: They're waiting for you?

Mr. Luke: No, they're just a bunch of cops hanging out in the men's room, talking. When I walked through the door, they all stopped what they were talking about and they looked at me.

Mr. Youda: [laughs] hard situation that is, mmmmm. Hard farking situation, that is!

Mr. Luke: Bounty hunter starts chipring. He's chirping at me. I mean, it's obvious. He's chirping at me. Every nerve-ending, all my senses, blood in my veins, everything I have is screaming, "Take off, man! Just bail, just get the fark out of there!" Panic hits me like a bucket of water. First there's the shock of it--BAM, right in the face. I'm standing there drenched in panic. All these stormtrooper looking at me, and they know, man. They can smell it. Sure as that farking bounty hunter can, they can smell it on me.
 
2012-10-31 04:15:31 PM  

Martstar: How about Scorcese



sure, if you want 65 second unbroken boom shots and a montage in every scene to "Gimme Shelter".


/LEIA! LEIIIIIA! THAT WAS ALL THE HYPERDRIVE WE HAAAAAAAAAAD, LEIA! LEIA! WHADJOO DO WITH ALL THE MIDICHLORIANS? LEIA! THAT WAS ALL THE MIDICHLORIANS WE HAAAAD! WHERE'S THE farkING FORCE, LEIA? THAT WAS ALL THE FORCE WE HAAAAD!
 
2012-10-31 04:23:01 PM  
List fails without

l.yimg.com

/Script by Fatty Neck-Beard
 
2012-10-31 04:23:03 PM  

buttery_shame_cave: on the other hand, seeing jason mewes cast as han solo would pwn.


You have a very different mental image of Han Solo than I do.

In all seriousness, Jensen Ackles would be the best choice for Han Solo (if we're talking reboot instead of new story). He's already been playing a character with the same base personality for 8 years.
 
2012-10-31 04:24:04 PM  
www.reallifecomics.com

*hot*
 
2012-10-31 04:30:26 PM  
They're not going to hire anyone noteworthy.
They'll just hire some generic journeyman-type director, the likes of which who helmed John Carter.

Sure, people will see the new Star Wars movies, but the films themselves won't contain anything worthwhile. Just more CG crap that pleases in the moment, and then fades from memory.

Give it up, folks. The Star Wars universe is all played out.
 
2012-10-31 04:38:51 PM  

AntonChigger: 12) Uwe Boll


YOU GO TO HELL! YOU GO TO HELL AND YOU DIE!!!
 
2012-10-31 04:40:19 PM  

AntonChigger: mcmnky: Cythraul: 11) Joss Whedon

Dnrtfa yet, but how is whedon not on the list?

My first thoughts were whedon, jj abrams, john waters, and 7 slots of no one, there's no need for more star wars movies.

Fark the stupid people who get all biatchy about lens flare, JJ Abrams would be a pretty good director


I wish someone would edit the Enterprise movie and remove the damn things.

Pan across room. shiat the shot is empty. Lens Flare!

/misses smoke
 
2012-10-31 04:41:33 PM  

Snapper Carr: dirtiest_sanchez: Unless we want more "Hold me, like you did by the lake on Naboo; so long ago when there was nothing but our love..."-type dialog, the focus should be finding dream script writers...

Doesn't even have to be dream script writers - you don't need David Mamet to write a good SW script (actually that would be fun). You need a couple of competent writers who understand the SW universe, have a good ear for dialog and know how to write believable characters; Disney probably has a few dozen or more that would fit the bill just between Marvel and Pixar.


The funny thing is that Tom Stoppard was brought in to to rewrites on the romantic scenes in that film, and they still ended up with lines like "Hold me, like you did by the lake on Naboo..."
 
2012-10-31 04:42:08 PM  
genndy tartakovsky.
 
2012-10-31 04:42:55 PM  
I second Lynch. He should remake Jedi.
 
2012-10-31 04:43:35 PM  
content9.flixster.com
 
2012-10-31 04:44:00 PM  
The first movies had fun and witty dialog. (With the help of his American Graffitti writers)
 
2012-10-31 04:51:48 PM  

Grimlock2099: genndy tartakovsky.


Werner Herzog. He should be given $250 million to to make the seventh film, and he should be forced to spend every last cent.
 
2012-10-31 05:02:33 PM  
There is a certain genius to George Lucas. To suggest otherwise is to show your age and possibly suggest you have done anything better. Ever.

Truth is, Lucas severely disappointed my expectations for a good prequel trilogy. But I remember how I felt when I first heard about them and this announcement makes me feel the same way: excited.

Lucas is one of the best "idea men" of all time. So good, in fact, that Disney just paid billions of dollars for one of them. Along the way, he became so powerful in the industry that people stopped telling him know and he started buying in to hius own greatness too much. It happens. Orson Welles, Marlon Brando, Prince, and Pope John Paul II are great examples of this. Personally, I love American Graffiti and consider it to be one the best films about that subject matter ever made. But Star Wars was a gold mine of marketing and merchandising as well as epic storytelling. That is not to say that the Star Wars universe is not incredible and dense and complex. Those who have posted here about story ideas that don't focus on the Jedi are spot on.

I hope Disney understands that with this property comes great responsibility. They figured it out with Marvel. And, IMO, they figured it out with the Muppets.

Hire a fan.
 
2012-10-31 05:04:27 PM  

buttery_shame_cave: honestly, why doesn't disney just set aside like 3-5 billion dollars in a slush fund and hand peter jackson a credit card?

/you'd watch the shiat out of it. don't lie.


I'm picturing a 500 million dollar reboot of Dead Alive.. and it's awesome.
 
2012-10-31 05:22:04 PM  
Seth Green!
 
2012-10-31 05:25:01 PM  
That guy, Mike, from Red Letter Media.... He can do it.
 
2012-10-31 05:25:05 PM  
There are some solid choices on that list, and Christopher Nolan is not one of them. What he did to batman after "Begins" is horrible. Horrible. Guillermo Del Toro could bring some fun to it. I would pick Chris Columbus personally. But I think he would quit after the first two movies, like he did with "Home Alone" and "Harry potter". He's a quitter. But I don't think we even need to revisit Star Wars. George Lucas beat that dead horse to a bloody pulp years ago.
 
2012-10-31 05:26:24 PM  

Kid the Universe: There is a certain genius to George Lucas. To suggest otherwise is to show your age and possibly suggest you have done anything better. Ever.


His biggest problem is that he never learned the lesson Uncle Walt learned: hire people more talented than you are and defer to them; you're not the best writer/artist/animator/gag writer/director/editor/etc the world has ever seen.
 
2012-10-31 05:27:40 PM  
Brad Bird has proven he can shoot action after MI4. I'd be interested.
 
2012-10-31 05:34:33 PM  

Martstar: How about Scorcese? I know it seems as if I'm being daft, but after Hugo it's clear he can tread that line of movies for kids that adults can enjoy just as much. Plus it would be visually stunning and the dialogue wouldn't be of the prequel variety.


I'd get behind this. The scene everybody remembers from Episode 4 (aside from the trench run) is the cantina. Imagine a cantina scene with smugglers and general underbelly of the galaxy directed by Scorsese.
 
2012-10-31 05:36:23 PM  

TeddyRooseveltsMustache: There are some solid choices on that list, and Christopher Nolan is not one of them. What he did to batman after "Begins" is horrible. Horrible. Guillermo Del Toro could bring some fun to it. I would pick Chris Columbus personally. But I think he would quit after the first two movies, like he did with "Home Alone" and "Harry potter". He's a quitter. But I don't think we even need to revisit Star Wars. George Lucas beat that dead horse to a bloody pulp years ago.


1) by citing the Home Alone series as some sort of positive career watermark, you negate your right to have an opinion.

2) It's not so much about revisiting the series as it is extending it. The first three movies were always intended to be the middle three of nine (I know Lucas later claimed this wasn't true, but he was lying), so there are still at least three movies to be made.

Originally, the series was supposed to be like the serials from the 30s, made which and cheap, but that all spiraled out of control and Lucas eventually became intoxicated with his own fame.
 
2012-10-31 05:43:03 PM  

sure haven't: tlchwi02: nolan would also be great (the complaints of his not being funny seem oddly misplaced.)

Also, this is where I knew the writer had no clue what they were talking about. There are great moments of humour in Nolan films. Stating otherwise kinda shows how much of a dipsh*t you are.


Really? I thought that was spot-on. As much as I like the Nolan Batman films, they are very dark and dreary and without much humor. The few funny bits tend to be very, very black comedy. Like the Joker's "magic trick."

I just can't see Nolan indulging in a running gag like "I have a bad feeling about this..."
 
2012-10-31 05:43:22 PM  

GameSprocket: Why is it I can't find an image of Tim burning all of his Star Wars stuff in Spaced?


Challenge accepted:

www.dvdfever.co.uk

Best I could find.

Clip here (@2:50)
 
2012-10-31 05:51:08 PM  

skepticultist: Really? I thought that was spot-on. As much as I like the Nolan Batman films, they are very dark and dreary and without much humor. The few funny bits tend to be very, very black comedy. Like the Joker's "magic trick."


Two words: hockey pads.

/likes Nolan's sense of humor.
 
2012-10-31 05:51:23 PM  

Dwight_Yeast: TeddyRooseveltsMustache: There are some solid choices on that list, and Christopher Nolan is not one of them. What he did to batman after "Begins" is horrible. Horrible. Guillermo Del Toro could bring some fun to it. I would pick Chris Columbus personally. But I think he would quit after the first two movies, like he did with "Home Alone" and "Harry potter". He's a quitter. But I don't think we even need to revisit Star Wars. George Lucas beat that dead horse to a bloody pulp years ago.

1) by citing the Home Alone series as some sort of positive career watermark, you negate your right to have an opinion.

I disagree. The first two Home Alone movies were very well made. Besides, who the fark are you? You have no authority to suggest someone has no right to an opinion. I was born in America. Where the fark are you from, asshole?

2) It's not so much about revisiting the series as it is extending it. The first three movies were always intended to be the middle three of nine (I know Lucas later claimed this wasn't true, but he was lying), so there are still at least three movies to be made.

If that's the case, he shouldn't have done such a shiatty job with the prequels.

Originally, the series was supposed to be like the serials from the 30s, made which and cheap, but that all spiraled out of control and Lucas eventually became intoxicated with his own fame.


Regardless of original intent, George Lucas has tarnished his legacy with crappy film making and casting choices. I reiterate that you are an asshole, and I hope that all the unpleasant things that life has to offer happen only to you.
 
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