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(Bleacher Report)   The most useless player on every MLB team. Next up: an article about bassists   (bleacherreport.com) divider line 54
    More: Obvious, Chris Volstad, Major League Baseball, MLB teams, Eric Hinske, Alfredo Aceves, Kosuke Fukudome, Red Sox, White Sox  
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4376 clicks; posted to Sports » on 31 Oct 2012 at 3:59 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-10-31 02:04:01 PM  
I love looking at stills of pitchers in motion. It looks like they're about to break their pitching arm in half and fling it towards home base.
 
2012-10-31 02:15:56 PM  
With the final 10 days of the 2012 regular season upon us, several teams are still in hot pursuit of playoff positioning, while a few others have performed up to a level that's afforded them breathing room down the stretch.

Timely submission there, subs
 
2012-10-31 03:37:31 PM  
Milwaukee Brewers: Livan Hernandez

They spelled Manny Parra wrong.

/slide show? grumble.
 
2012-10-31 03:55:47 PM  
Houston Astros: Houston Astros
 
2012-10-31 04:03:19 PM  
Bad: I clicked a bleacher report link

Worse: from over a month ago

worst: first one is Chris Young on the D-backs. Because who would want a strong defensive CF with a league average bat? Other than the A's I mean.
 
2012-10-31 04:06:02 PM  

scottydoesntknow: Houston Astros: Houston Astros


Conversely, the Astros' most valuable player is their new logo.
 
2012-10-31 04:06:20 PM  
Can't be done out here. It's like trying to add up infinity.

/ Mariners fan.
 
2012-10-31 04:07:46 PM  
You can swoon over the singer and worship the lead guitar player but the bass player and drummer are the ones who make it possible to dance.
And to stay on topic, here's a dancing baseball.
freezone.photoimpact-international.com
 
2012-10-31 04:08:00 PM  
DAMMIT I should have read the link source, I hate bleacher report with the same passion I have for people who have to politicize every frickin thing
 
2012-10-31 04:10:20 PM  
Yeah despite the awful season Ricky is not the most useless member of the Jays. Nice try though.

/not really
 
2012-10-31 04:11:55 PM  
And each of those 30 guys is earning at least $480,000 per year.
 
2012-10-31 04:16:47 PM  
Now only is your blog old, but it wasn't even up-to-date when it was new.

Jonathon Sanchez was traded from the Royals to the Rockies a month an a half before this was put online.
 
2012-10-31 04:20:32 PM  
The Tigers' entry isn't Valverde. Your argument is invalid.

/Yes, I saw the date
 
2012-10-31 04:21:20 PM  
I'm surprised the Indians' one was such an easy choice. There are so many useless players on that team.
 
2012-10-31 04:24:43 PM  
Can't clicky - who does it say for the Phillies? My guess would be Ty Wigginton or Michael Martinez (MiniMart)
 
182
2012-10-31 04:27:50 PM  
each of those players were more useful than that submission.
 
2012-10-31 04:32:30 PM  

blatz514: Milwaukee Brewers: Livan Hernandez

They spelled Manny Parra wrong.

/slide show? grumble.


Manny Parra had some effective innings for the Brewers. Livan Hernandez almost turned a 9 run lead into a save situation. Best part is that I told the people I was with, "If anyone can screw this up, it's Livan Hernandez." We were not disappointed.
 
2012-10-31 04:33:36 PM  
Arizona Diamondbacks: Chris Young
Atlanta Braves: Eric Hinske
Baltimore Orioles: Endy Chavez
Boston Red Sox: Alfredo Aceves
Chicago Cubs: Chris Volstad
Chicago White Sox: Kosuke Fukudome
Cincinnati Reds: Scott Rolen
Cleveland Indians: Grady Sizemore
Colorado Rockies: Jeremy Guthrie
Detroit Tigers: Ryan Raburn
Houston Astros: Jordan Lyles
Kansas City Royals: Jonathan Sanchez
Los Angeles Angels: Vernon Wells
Los Angeles Dodgers: Juan Uribe
Miami Marlins: Carlos Zambrano
Milwaukee Brewers: Livan Hernandez
Minnesota Twins: Carl Pavano
New York Mets: Andres Torres
New York Yankees: Joba Chamberlain
Oakland Athletics: Kurt Suzuki
Philadelphia Phillies: Jose Contreras
Pittsburgh Pirates: Jose Tabata
San Diego Padres: Ross Ohlendorf
San Francisco Giants: Melky Cabrera
Seattle Mariners: Miguel Olivo
St. Louis Cardinals: Tyler Greene
Tampa Bay Rays: Luke Scott
Texas Rangers: Roy Oswalt
Toronto Blue Jays: Ricky Romero
Washington Nationals: Chien-Ming Wang
 
2012-10-31 04:38:28 PM  
So the lesson is the Giants get rid of Sanchez, Uribe, and Torres after 2010 and win again in 2012.
 
2012-10-31 04:49:02 PM  
Oh right, Contreras was still on the roster. That old chestnut.
 
2012-10-31 04:58:24 PM  

roc6783: blatz514: Milwaukee Brewers: Livan Hernandez

They spelled Manny Parra wrong.

/slide show? grumble.

Manny Parra had some effective innings for the Brewers. Livan Hernandez almost turned a 9 run lead into a save situation. Best part is that I told the people I was with, "If anyone can screw this up, it's Livan Hernandez." We were not disappointed.


Every got damn year they say he has "electric stuff." Enough already. Your low 90's fastball that does absolutely nothing, Manny.

And not that I'm defending Livan; the bullpen did suck donkey balls this season.
 
2012-10-31 05:01:41 PM  
Man, Scott Rolen for the Reds? He's old, he's banged up, and he's clearly in decline, but "most useless" is pretty damn harsh for a guy who still can play a solid defensive 3B. Yeah, he's almost certainly off the club after this year to either DH or retire, but it's not like he's a Drew Stubbs-level waste of space.

Also, notice how many of the "most useless" guys ended up playing for another team? Yeah, that's pretty much a BS move, bleacher report. I mean, Tyler Greene is clearly useless no matter what club he's playing for, but giving a pass to the many, many failures that were on a constant cycle through the Cards' bullpen for the first half of the season is pretty damn generous. I mean, Barrett Browning, Kyle McClellan, Victor Marte, Eduardo Sanchez, J.C. Romero, Sam Freeman, and Brian Fuentes? That's some bad bullpen juju there. Hell, you could even make a case for Lance Berkman getting paid $570,000 per hit this year.
 
2012-10-31 05:14:22 PM  
Jeebus fark De-slided

Step 1: Go to:http://deslide.clusterfake.net/
Step 2: Paste the slideshow url in line 2 and hit the Deslide! button.
Step 4: Profit!
 
2012-10-31 05:19:16 PM  

blatz514: roc6783: blatz514: Milwaukee Brewers: Livan Hernandez

***snip***
Every got damn year they say he has "electric stuff." Enough already. Your low 90's fastball that does absolutely nothing, Manny.

And not that I'm defending Livan; the bullpen did suck donkey balls this season.


To me he is the bullpen version of Dave Bush, when he is on, he is near unhittable, but when he is off, it is downhill quickly. Conversely, when Gallardo is on, he is out by the end of the 6th after giving up 1 run or less, but when he is off, he is out by the end of the 6th after giving up 3 or less runs.

I have never seen someone take so many 0-2 counts to 3-2 counts to get an out before.
 
2012-10-31 05:22:13 PM  
Bassists are more vital than lead guitarists.


\lead guitarist
 
2012-10-31 05:23:57 PM  
Torres was not very useful for the Mets this season, but the crown for most useless player, for the last several years, belongs squarely on the head of Jason Bay.
 
2012-10-31 05:24:02 PM  
I expected the list to have one Royal and several ex-Royals. Then I remembered that's not how the Royals operate. We only get rid of our star players.
 
2012-10-31 05:47:34 PM  

Dear Jerk: I expected the list to have one Royal and several ex-Royals. Then I remembered that's not how the Royals operate. We only get rid of our star players.


Just got Ervin Santana and cash for nothing from the Angels! WORLD SERIES BABY!
 
2012-10-31 06:00:19 PM  

mrjared: Torres was not very useful for the Mets this season, but the crown for most useless player, for the last several years, belongs squarely on the head of Jason Bay.


Jason Bay hit 2 doubles in 216 PA this season.

I legitimately would have a shot at hitting two doubles in 216 major league plate appearances.
 
2012-10-31 06:02:47 PM  
So they're saying Miguel Cairo is more useful to the Reds than Scott Rolen? Hahahahahahaha...*gasp* hahahahaha.. seriously?
 
2012-10-31 06:13:34 PM  
nice to see three bluejays make that list.
 
2012-10-31 06:15:32 PM  
I saw Esperanza Spalding this weekend. Subby's a douche.
 
2012-10-31 06:27:07 PM  
Tyler Greene was traded to the Astros a month before the trade deadline.

Fail
 
das
2012-10-31 06:52:43 PM  

UncleStumpy: DAMMIT I should have read the link source, I hate bleacher report with the same passion I have for people who have to politicize every frickin thing


You sound like a Democrat!!!
// ;)
 
2012-10-31 06:52:54 PM  

buckeyebrain: The Tigers' entry isn't Valverde. Your argument is invalid.

/Yes, I saw the date


I don't know. Valverde at least managed some saves in the regular season. Raburn did nothing. He was my first guess for the Tigers' entry.
 
2012-10-31 07:05:35 PM  
wxboy:

I don't know. Valverde at least managed some saves in the regular season. Raburn did nothing. He was my first guess for the Tigers' entry.

You have a point. How quickly I forget those long stretches of the regular season when I said that Gene Rayburn would be a better option at this point.
 
2012-10-31 07:20:57 PM  

poisonedpawn78: nice to see three bluejays make that list.


Technically only two, Rolen played for St. Louis and Philly first. But Wells, man what the fark happened there? I never expected him to be a 35/120 player but holy shait did he ever fall apart.
 
2012-10-31 07:29:37 PM  

Flappyhead: poisonedpawn78: nice to see three bluejays make that list.

Technically only two, Rolen played for St. Louis and Philly first. But Wells, man what the fark happened there? I never expected him to be a 35/120 player but holy shait did he ever fall apart.


oops did i miss rolen. I was thinking Hinsky and wells + romero ... so Rolen makes 4 bluejays ? LAWL
 
2012-10-31 07:39:34 PM  
I guess correctly with my Mariners. It's a shame the website doesn't update within a week or 2...they released Olivo last week.
 
2012-10-31 07:59:47 PM  

dlriumtrigger: Bassists are more vital than lead guitarists.


\lead guitarist


This. fark you subby, The bass provides The glue between the rhythm and the harmony.

/bassist :)
 
2012-10-31 08:00:16 PM  

DemDave: Now only is your blog old, but it wasn't even up-to-date when it was new.

Jonathon Sanchez was traded from the Royals to the Rockies a month an a half before this was put online.


The Guthire improved his season with the trade
 
2012-10-31 08:01:39 PM  
If any site would know about useless stuff, it would be Bleacher Report.
 
2012-10-31 09:28:17 PM  

Wellon Dowd: Arizona Diamondbacks: Chris Young (traded to Oakland)
Atlanta Braves: Eric Hinske
Baltimore Orioles: Endy Chavez
Boston Red Sox: Alfredo Aceves
Chicago Cubs: Chris Volstad
Chicago White Sox: Kosuke Fukudome
Cincinnati Reds: Scott Rolen
Cleveland Indians: Grady Sizemore
Colorado Rockies: Jeremy Guthrie (released)
Detroit Tigers: Ryan Raburn
Houston Astros: Jordan Lyles
Kansas City Royals: Jonathan Sanchez (traded to Colorado)
Los Angeles Angels: Vernon Wells
Los Angeles Dodgers: Juan Uribe
Miami Marlins: Carlos Zambrano
Milwaukee Brewers: Livan Hernandez
Minnesota Twins: Carl Pavano
New York Mets: Andres Torres
New York Yankees: Joba Chamberlain
Oakland Athletics: Kurt Suzuki (traded to Washington)
Philadelphia Phillies: Jose Contreras
Pittsburgh Pirates: Jose Tabata
San Diego Padres: Ross Ohlendorf
San Francisco Giants: Melky Cabrera
Seattle Mariners: Miguel Olivo
St. Louis Cardinals: Tyler Greene (traded to Houston)
Tampa Bay Rays: Luke Scott
Texas Rangers: Roy Oswalt
Toronto Blue Jays: Ricky Romero
Washington Nationals: Chien-Ming Wang


Those changes are off the top of my head. When was this list made?
 
2012-10-31 09:48:11 PM  
Left Field?

/played left field in Little League.
//Spent most of my time daydreaming.
 
2012-10-31 09:53:57 PM  
The only thing more useless than a bassist is a band without one.

/ bassist with bat
 
2012-10-31 10:07:40 PM  

blatz514: Milwaukee Brewers: Livan Hernandez

They spelled Manny Parra wrong.


Absof*ckinglutlely right.

I have no idea how Manny Parra is still on the team. Or for that matter, how he has been for the past 3-4 years. He's sucked horribly for a while now.
 
2012-10-31 11:27:12 PM  

Donnchadha: With the final 10 days of the 2012 regular season upon us, several teams are still in hot pursuit of playoff positioning, while a few others have performed up to a level that's afforded them breathing room down the stretch.

Timely submission there, subs


Oh it's worse than this. Scott Rolen announced before the article was released that he was calling it a career and Contreras has been on the Phillies' DL since May. Bleacher Report continues to suck out loud.
 
2012-10-31 11:52:06 PM  

Prey4reign: Oh it's worse than this. Scott Rolen announced before the article was released that he was calling it a career and Contreras has been on the Phillies' DL since May. Bleacher Report continues to suck out loud.


..and yet not only did TBS pay actual money for the site, they kept trying to pimp it out during their post-season coverage.
 
2012-11-01 04:40:40 AM  
Link

Suck it subby. Suck it long, and suck it hard.
 
2012-11-01 09:50:09 AM  

CrazyCurt: The only thing more useless than a bassist is a band without one.

/ bassist with bat


Though I get your point, I think The Doors would disagree (although I know it's popular on FARK to say that The Doors suck).
 
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