In other news: Sexually active teens more likely to use smartphones

You're jingling baby! 

/Go ahead baby!

Please support White Van Charities in their Smartphones for Teens charity drive.

Verizon's new ad campaign on a silver goddamn platter.

I just got a smartphone. But I'm 58, so probably going to work against me, eh?

Fark Me To Tears: Dumski: So are they using iPhones, or Galaxies to get off? I know that they both have vibrate functions, but what do the guys do with them?? 

Why don't the researchers answer that one?


Keeping it in the right front pants pocket would work for me. Vibrators do work on guys, too, you know...

Really? 'cause I have to tuck it into my sock to feel any action....

/ waters cold


// and deep



/// bottom has lots of rocks

I bet your parents being able to afford a smart phone is also highly correlated with their ability to buy you a car.

fark, there are probably all kinds of correlations in your favor just from the fact that your parents have money.

I'm an adult with a Nokia flip phone, so you can imagine how things are going for me.

So what about a 30-year-old with a smart phone? Am I SOL? Because it really seems so.

FTA -- "I don't want parents to freak out," Rice said.

BUT YOUR KIDS ARE farkING!!!

Okay, bear with me here. I might have an idea.

See, the parents of teens aren't dumb. They know if they have a hot teen. So it's entirely plausible that to prevent their hot teen from being raped, they get them a smart phone. Maybe the Samsung Galaxy S3 from Samsung. That way they can go on Yelp and find the best police station to hide at if a would-be rapist were to approach them, as well as the most efficient route courtesy of Google Maps.

There is of course a side-effect to this. The upside is that with the convenience of internet hookup sites the parent can help the teen become less desirable to said would-be rapists by allowing them to put out more often, thus becoming a form of slut or damaged goods. This way the would-be rapist will rape a teen without a cell phone.

Obviously the researchers know rape is a touchy topic, so they wouldn't count that as sex, so... Here's the results: Teens with smart phones have more sex, and teens without them have more rape.

If you're a parent you should do the right thing for your teen, and get them a 4G unlimited data plan from Verizon. Check out the Samsung Galaxy S3. Your hot teen will thank you!

/this post not paid for by Verizon, Samsung or Google, but it damn well should be

Just in time for the holiday shopping season, a study that *proves* their product will get you laid. Well played, smartphone industry.

I don't think my smartphone is gonna get me laid...

/Not exactly most
//desirable demographic
///53...

So, guess I need to have the talk with my oldest son about how to go after the girls with Galaxy S3s and Iphone 5s, and to stay the F away from any girl who uses a Windows phone.

concerned researchers who are in no way desperate for attention and funding

How do we know they're desperate? Are they sending pics of themselves to their Congresspersons?

/wearing labcoats... and nothing else.

.

I don't know any teens without a smartphone, and my kids are between 14 & 20. So, I would say these numbers would be the average performers and the non-smartphone-possessing kids are below the average due to lack of interaction etc.

Seriously, is it just our area, because I really do not know of any kid over the age of 11 who doesn't own a smartphone.

I_Am_Weasel: So THAT'S why my teen years were lonely, I had no cell phone.

I did have access to the teletype, but I guess that just wasn't good enough.

I was a teen during the CB craze.

/"What's your 20, good buddy" = worst pickup line ever

CSB...

This one time I was at walmart and found a cell phone sitting on a bench in the back of the store. A few minutes later I heard 3 girls come back and one was getting all panicky because she lost her phone. When I heard one of them a couple aisles away from me say she was going to call the phone I pulled out the battery and was amused by the distress that it caused them. As I was wandering around the store the 3 girls passed me multiple times looking high and low for the phone. (they couldn't have been older than middle school). When I looked at the phone she had a bunch of photos with her and a cross and other religious crap but also had a bunch of sext mesages and other sex shiat on there (no not her or other jailbat, nothing incriminating)

/That was the only time I've decided not to return something, to crush the heart of a teenage girl for losing her cell phone
//I bet she went home and wrote about it in her diary

Of course the kids are having more sex. The phones are smart, they know the kids want to get some strange.

I better get a smart phone, if thats able to tell me how to have more sex ?

I really don't believe that hot, sexually liberated females are that friggin shallow. They're wonderful, intelligent, sensual beings who should be offended by such a suggestion and I'm right there with them.


sent from my iPhone

Any phone that would have gotten me laid when I was a teenager is smart enough that it would have better things to do.

Kids with smartphones usually come from families with money, meaning their more likely to be popular, and it's more likely that mom and dad both work and are away a lot and there's plenty of time to screw with the house all to little Braden and Kayla.

indylaw: Kids with smartphones usually come from families with money, meaning their more likely to be popular, and it's more likely that mom and dad both work and are away a lot and there's plenty of time to screw with the house all to little Braden and Kayla.

pffft, when I was a teenager, I went over to my girlfriend's house, and her mom was home... and still totally cool with the two of us spending all day alone in her daughter's bedroom...

/to be fair, I think her parents liked me more than they liked her

I dunno, Subby. Something tells me the teenagers don't have enough money to fund a study. Smart phones don't come cheap.

Tenatra: CSB...

This one time I was at walmart and found a cell phone sitting on a bench in the back of the store. A few minutes later I heard 3 girls come back and one was getting all panicky because she lost her phone. When I heard one of them a couple aisles away from me say she was going to call the phone I pulled out the battery and was amused by the distress that it caused them. As I was wandering around the store the 3 girls passed me multiple times looking high and low for the phone. (they couldn't have been older than middle school). When I looked at the phone she had a bunch of photos with her and a cross and other religious crap but also had a bunch of sext mesages and other sex shiat on there (no not her or other jailbat, nothing incriminating)

/That was the only time I've decided not to return something, to crush the heart of a teenage girl for losing her cell phone
//I bet she went home and wrote about it in her diary

You make an arsehole like me proud.

Fallout Boy: Tenatra: CSB...

Congratulations, you're idiots.

Tenatra: CSB...

This one time I was at walmart and found a cell phone sitting on a bench in the back of the store. A few minutes later I heard 3 girls come back and one was getting all panicky because she lost her phone. When I heard one of them a couple aisles away from me say she was going to call the phone I pulled out the battery and was amused by the distress that it caused them. As I was wandering around the store the 3 girls passed me multiple times looking high and low for the phone. (they couldn't have been older than middle school). When I looked at the phone she had a bunch of photos with her and a cross and other religious crap but also had a bunch of sext mesages and other sex shiat on there (no not her or other jailbat, nothing incriminating)

/That was the only time I've decided not to return something, to crush the heart of a teenage girl for losing her cell phone
//I bet she went home and wrote about it in her diary

Wow, you're a thief. You deprived someone of their own property. Good work.

ultraholland: I'm an adult with a Nokia flip phone, so you can imagine how things are going for me.

I have a Tracphone. Hmmm

cryinoutloud: ultraholland: I'm an adult with a Nokia flip phone, so you can imagine how things are going for me.

I have a Tracphone. Hmmm

So 'kids' with access to the Internet are more likely to have sex with people they met on the Internet than people not on the Internet having sex with people they met on the Internet?

I are confuse'd

That explains all the sex I've been having with teens.

I_Am_Weasel: So THAT'S why my teen years were lonely, I had no cell phone.

I did have access to the teletype, but I guess that just wasn't good enough.

I had a friend who's dad had access to a 1GB drive, the didn't help either

/It had a hood
//thought it was cool in the 1800's

FunkOut: Social people would deem a smartphone a necessity to their life on par with water and air. Without constant contact with their herd, their life loses all meaning and they lose the will to live.

That's funny, because I'm the opposite. When those people are in constant contact with their herd in restaurants and stores, I lose my will for them to live.

more sex... with teachers?