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(WGAL 8)   Drunken mom with toddler leaps into swift water to save ducks from Hurricane Sandy. Don't worry, somehow the ducks survived   (wgal.com) divider line 63
    More: Dumbass, blood alcohol content, swifts, Southern Region, mom  
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14635 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Oct 2012 at 3:23 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-10-30 02:26:47 PM  
Alcohol is a helluva drug.

Okay, I guess sheer blathering ignorance is more at fault here, but fark you, that's what.
 
2012-10-30 02:30:05 PM  
"Risking catastrophe" is a great charge.
 
2012-10-30 02:30:27 PM  
img.ffffound.com
 
2012-10-30 02:31:45 PM  
I guess she didn't weigh the same as a duck.
 
2012-10-30 02:37:27 PM  

Slaxl: "Risking catastrophe" is a great charge.


Everyone that votes for the GOP gets charged with that one...
 
2012-10-30 03:00:08 PM  
i.chzbgr.com
 
2012-10-30 03:16:31 PM  
img96.imageshack.us
 
2012-10-30 03:24:55 PM  
See, this is why I break open the gin after the kids are asleep.
 
2012-10-30 03:27:10 PM  

The Stealth Hippopotamus: [img96.imageshack.us image 337x450]


Darn those nosy neighbours.... saving her life (and her child). Almost got a 2 for 1 special!
 
2012-10-30 03:27:45 PM  

Nadie_AZ: I guess she didn't weigh the same as a duck.


That elicited a laugh out loud.

i.qkme.me
...and ducks.
 
2012-10-30 03:29:41 PM  
Justina Laniewski, 41, whose blood alcohol content was more than twice the legal limit,

Wow, Pennsylvania has a legal limit on how drunk you can be? Sucks to be you, PA Farkers.
 
2012-10-30 03:30:52 PM  
Laniewski is charged with risking catastrophe

thebetterpettag.com
 
2012-10-30 03:32:32 PM  
She was twice the legal limit to save ducks? Or to swim in a creek?

Pennsylvania has some strange laws.
 
2012-10-30 03:33:10 PM  

Sybarite: Justina Laniewski, 41, whose blood alcohol content was more than twice the legal limit,

Wow, Pennsylvania has a legal limit on how drunk you can be? Sucks to be you, PA Farkers.


With the retarded blue laws it's a wonder anyone can get that far
 
2012-10-30 03:40:57 PM  
What is it about some people just wanting to get blasted during a bad storm. I can see curling up during a snow storm, but this? You might want to have your wits about yourself during a farking hurricane.
 
2012-10-30 03:42:21 PM  
How did she live long enough to procreate?
 
2012-10-30 03:43:06 PM  

Foxxinnia: She was twice the legal limit to save ducks? Or to swim in a creek?

Pennsylvania has some strange laws.


P.L. 12A-43: No individual possessing a blood alcohol content of greater than .08 shall attempt the aquatic rescue of a duck, swan, or other waterfowl. No individual possessing a blood alcohol content of greater than .12 shall attempt the terrestrial rescue of similar avian creatures.
 
2012-10-30 03:43:54 PM  
So "risking catastrophe" is legal speak for being a dumbass? 


I'm OK with that.
 
2012-10-30 03:44:01 PM  
Charged with " risking catastrophe and other offenses".

That is so awesome.
 
2012-10-30 03:44:42 PM  

pottie: How did she live long enough to procreate?


It's amazing what a little luck and an open-leg-policy can do for you...
 
2012-10-30 03:45:07 PM  
Subby took more liberties while writing that headline than I did with his drunken mother last night.

-1 subby
 
2012-10-30 03:45:46 PM  

Foxxinnia: She was twice the legal limit to save ducks? Or to swim in a creek?

Pennsylvania has some strange laws.


This all depends if she had just eaten.
 
2012-10-30 03:47:44 PM  

xaratherus: Foxxinnia: She was twice the legal limit to save ducks? Or to swim in a creek?

Pennsylvania has some strange laws.

P.L. 12A-43: No individual possessing a blood alcohol content of greater than .08 shall attempt the aquatic rescue of a duck, swan, or other waterfowl. No individual possessing a blood alcohol content of greater than .12 shall attempt the terrestrial rescue of similar avian creatures.


WOW.
/just wow
 
2012-10-30 03:49:46 PM  
It would be great to come back as a duck.
 
2012-10-30 03:52:23 PM  

LeroyBourne: What is it about some people just wanting to get blasted during a bad storm. I can see curling up during a snow storm, but this? You might want to have your wits about yourself during a farking hurricane.


You've clearly never been to a Typhoon party on Camp Hansen, Okinawa. The only way to get through a typhoon is drunk. We used to go hang gliding off of a hill near the barracks with a glider made of tent poles and ponchos, wearing nothing but PT gear, a helmet and flack jackets.

/Super Typhoon Bart September 1999
//Still can't believe none of us wound up in the hospital.
 
wow
2012-10-30 03:52:31 PM  
§ 3302. Causing or risking catastrophe.
(a) Causing catastrophe.--A person who causes a catastrophe
by explosion, fire, flood, avalanche, collapse of building,
release of poison gas, radioactive material or other harmful or
destructive force or substance, or by any other means of causing
potentially widespread injury or damage, including selling,
dealing in or otherwise providing licenses or permits to
transport hazardous materials in violation of 75 Pa.C.S. Ch. 83
(relating to hazardous materials transportation), commits a
felony of the first degree if he does so intentionally or
knowingly, or a felony of the second degree if he does so
recklessly.
(b) Risking catastrophe.--A person is guilty of a felony of
the third degree if he recklessly creates a risk of catastrophe
in the employment of fire, explosives or other dangerous means
listed in subsection (a) of this section.

So how is jumping in a creek to rescue ducks akin to any of the above? Widespread injury or damage to the ducks?
/dont get it.
 
2012-10-30 03:53:48 PM  

xaratherus: Foxxinnia: She was twice the legal limit to save ducks? Or to swim in a creek?

Pennsylvania has some strange laws.

P.L. 12A-43: No individual possessing a blood alcohol content of greater than .08 shall attempt the aquatic rescue of a duck, swan, or other waterfowl. No individual possessing a blood alcohol content of greater than .12 shall attempt the terrestrial rescue of similar avian creatures.


Smart and Funny. Well done sir.
 
2012-10-30 03:57:17 PM  

wow: § 3302. Causing or risking catastrophe.
(a) Causing catastrophe.--A person who causes a catastrophe
by explosion, fire, flood, avalanche, collapse of building,
release of poison gas, radioactive material or other harmful or
destructive force or substance, or by any other means of causing
potentially widespread injury or damage, including selling,
dealing in or otherwise providing licenses or permits to
transport hazardous materials in violation of 75 Pa.C.S. Ch. 83
(relating to hazardous materials transportation), commits a
felony of the first degree if he does so intentionally or
knowingly, or a felony of the second degree if he does so
recklessly.
(b) Risking catastrophe.--A person is guilty of a felony of
the third degree if he recklessly creates a risk of catastrophe
in the employment of fire, explosives or other dangerous means
listed in subsection (a) of this section.

So how is jumping in a creek to rescue ducks akin to any of the above? Widespread injury or damage to the ducks?
/dont get it.


She was charged with Risking Catastrophe. They'll argue that when the firefighters had to go out and get her, she risked injury or death to them, thus the "widespread injury"

/just my best guess
//IANAL
///didn't even stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.
 
2012-10-30 04:01:17 PM  
I have a toddler and I am never ever more than two beers deep at any given time, including when he's asleep JUST IN CASE something happens and I have to be able to drive.
 
2012-10-30 04:02:33 PM  

devildog123: LeroyBourne: What is it about some people just wanting to get blasted during a bad storm. I can see curling up during a snow storm, but this? You might want to have your wits about yourself during a farking hurricane.

You've clearly never been to a Typhoon party on Camp Hansen, Okinawa. The only way to get through a typhoon is drunk. We used to go hang gliding off of a hill near the barracks with a glider made of tent poles and ponchos, wearing nothing but PT gear, a helmet and flack jackets.

/Super Typhoon Bart September 1999
//Still can't believe none of us wound up in the hospital.


You see, I can reflect to my younger years, and that sounds kinda fun.
/done things similar and wondered how i got out unscathed
//too old for that shiat now
 
2012-10-30 04:02:56 PM  
Suspect's blood alcohol content twice legal limit, police say 

THERE IS NO LEGAL LIMIT IF YOU'RE NOT DRIVING, DUMBASS REPORTERS.

/sorry, just had to get that off my chest.
/ "risking catastrophe," that's a new one.
 
2012-10-30 04:03:03 PM  

pottie: How did she live long enough to procreate?


This may surprise you, but it takes any woman about five seconds to find a man who is willing to fark her. It isn't like you need to master quantum physics to be able to shiat out a kid.
 
2012-10-30 04:06:54 PM  
In the event of a mass duck drowning, the public is reminded that toddlers may be used as emergency flotation devices.

I'm guessing that the words "mass duck drowning" have not been used in that way very often, if ever.

However, a quick peek at YouTube suggests that ducks do drown if:

1) they hit their head when jumping into the water;
2) other ducks, swans or animals intentionally kill them, the meanies;
3) they get into Whirl-Pool baths(TM) or other tricky waters
4) they become entangled in nets or weeds
5) they are poisoned by landing on the toxic sludge ponds associated with industry, mines and tar sands projects.

However, sometimes they are rescued by orangutangs or adopted as pets by other animals such as cats, gorillas, dogs, etc.
 
2012-10-30 04:07:13 PM  

umad: pottie: How did she live long enough to procreate?

This may surprise you, but it takes any woman about five seconds to find a man who is willing to fark her. It isn't like you need to master quantum physics to be able to shiat out a kid.


He didn't wonder how she found a man to fark with, he wondered how someone this dumb managed to evade Darwin long enough to do the asking.
 
2012-10-30 04:08:55 PM  
i47.tinypic.com
 
2012-10-30 04:13:55 PM  

Need_MindBleach: Suspect's blood alcohol content twice legal limit, police say 

THERE IS NO LEGAL LIMIT IF YOU'RE NOT DRIVING, DUMBASS REPORTERS.

/sorry, just had to get that off my chest.
/ "risking catastrophe," that's a new one.


What about public intoxication laws? Or are those more like "If you can walk home, you can go home."
 
2012-10-30 04:14:13 PM  

wow: § 3302. Causing or risking catastrophe.
(a) Causing catastrophe.--A person who causes a catastrophe
by explosion, fire, flood, avalanche, collapse of building,
release of poison gas, radioactive material or other harmful or
destructive force or substance, or by any other means of causing
potentially widespread injury or damage, including selling,
dealing in or otherwise providing licenses or permits to
transport hazardous materials in violation of 75 Pa.C.S. Ch. 83
(relating to hazardous materials transportation), commits a
felony of the first degree if he does so intentionally or
knowingly, or a felony of the second degree if he does so
recklessly.
(b) Risking catastrophe.--A person is guilty of a felony of
the third degree if he recklessly creates a risk of catastrophe
in the employment of fire, explosives or other dangerous means
listed in subsection (a) of this section.

So how is jumping in a creek to rescue ducks akin to any of the above? Widespread injury or damage to the ducks?
/dont get it.


And why haven't they indicted Mitt Romney?
 
2012-10-30 04:20:38 PM  

ArkPanda: Need_MindBleach: Suspect's blood alcohol content twice legal limit, police say 

THERE IS NO LEGAL LIMIT IF YOU'RE NOT DRIVING, DUMBASS REPORTERS.

/sorry, just had to get that off my chest.
/ "risking catastrophe," that's a new one.

What about public intoxication laws? Or are those more like "If you can walk home, you can go home."


More like " If you canwalk home without being obviously fall-down drunk." You get hassled by the cops around here when you're sloppy/noisy drunk. If you're bombed out of your mind but still able to walk and aren't shouting like a tool, cops don't give a shiat.

There might be a limit number, but enforcement is more about how you are behaving whilst drunk in public.

/I'm in the Pennsyltucky area
//YMMV
 
2012-10-30 04:26:23 PM  

brantgoose: In the event of a mass duck drowning, the public is reminded that toddlers may be used as emergency flotation devices


Brilliant! +1
 
2012-10-30 04:29:07 PM  
Holden Caulfield approves.
farm8.staticflickr.com
 
2012-10-30 04:31:56 PM  

LeroyBourne: What is it about some people just wanting to get blasted during a bad storm. I can see curling up during a snow storm, but this? You might want to have your wits about yourself during a farking hurricane.


a drunk is a drunk every day and twice on some days. i was a drunk for years. on days when i actually wanted to be sober i still found myself pulling in and purchasing. doesn't matter how ashamed it can make you feel, feeding the addiction is Job #1 for drunks.
 
2012-10-30 04:33:08 PM  
She would have saved those duck too, if she wasn't weighted down with bandages from her attempt last week to save some rabbits from a briar patch.
 
2012-10-30 04:40:29 PM  

Slaxl: "Risking catastrophe" is a great charge.


On Sodor she would have been charged with "causing confusion and delay".

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2012-10-30 04:40:38 PM  

STRYPERSWINE: I have a toddler and I am never ever more than two beers deep at any given time, including when he's asleep JUST IN CASE something happens and I have to be able to drive.


You must live up north, where it's not customary to allow children to drive at 18 months.
 
2012-10-30 04:57:24 PM  
Wow is she dumb. Are we close to a Pennsylvania tab yet?
 
2012-10-30 05:00:47 PM  

Slaxl: "Risking catastrophe" is a great charge.



I risk that charge getting out of bed every morning.
 
2012-10-30 05:04:10 PM  
farm2.staticflickr.com

Do not approve of these shenanigans.
 
2012-10-30 05:07:32 PM  

KrispyKritter: LeroyBourne: What is it about some people just wanting to get blasted during a bad storm. I can see curling up during a snow storm, but this? You might want to have your wits about yourself during a farking hurricane.

a drunk is a drunk every day and twice on some days. i was a drunk for years. on days when i actually wanted to be sober i still found myself pulling in and purchasing. doesn't matter how ashamed it can make you feel, feeding the addiction is Job #1 for drunks.


what does your view on addiction have to do with the importance of drinking during a hurricane?

I guess neither of y'all have enjoyed the pleasure of a hurricane. wits are not important. no one can defeat the enemies wind and water. might as well not even try. have a drink, batten down the hatches, and pray you weather the storm. for as she passes, her darker enemies come calling, boredom and discomfort. no need for any wits until the power comes back on.

/ or, what I usually say at some point, quoting das boot, "Now it gets psychological, friends" 
// someday, after I learn german, I'm going to quote this in the original german.
 
2012-10-30 05:12:54 PM  

KrispyKritter: LeroyBourne: What is it about some people just wanting to get blasted during a bad storm. I can see curling up during a snow storm, but this? You might want to have your wits about yourself during a farking hurricane.

a drunk is a drunk every day and twice on some days. i was a drunk for years. on days when i actually wanted to be sober i still found myself pulling in and purchasing. doesn't matter how ashamed it can make you feel, feeding the addiction is Job #1 for drunks.


I was like that for years also, drank a fifth a day even at work. No one ever questioned me about it and I didn't get fired or written up ever for drinking (bad "customer relations" was another thing though). I guess they hired me drunk they didn't get a chance to see me change as I drank. It's been years now since I had a drink but you were definitly right about job #1 for a drunk.
 
2012-10-30 05:14:41 PM  
I wonder hos this rescue went down. Did they throw her a rope and pull her out or did they just drag her up along with all the shopping carts and abandoned bicycles?

// Former Dallastown resident
 
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