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(ESPN)   ESPN's Week 9 NFL Power Rankings: Falcons maintain grip on top spot, while New York treads water in second and Indy surges into the top 15   ( espn.go.com) divider line
    More: Cool, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, away games, Albert Haynesworth, rankings, Kevin Kolb, Jags, Mike Shanahan, Matt Hasselbeck  
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4215 clicks; posted to Sports » on 30 Oct 2012 at 3:02 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2012-10-30 12:19:35 PM  
We only lost two positions? Dammit, I was kinda hoping to be dropped further in order to cement us as roller-coaster team of the year.

Wilson continues to improve and the main problem with the team is that, while we're the best in the league at forcing third-and-long, we're the sh*ttiest at defending third-and-long. I actually root for opposing teams to gain yardage on first and second downs because we're better at stopping them if they're at 3rd and 2 than we are if they're at 3rd and 10 (or at least it feels that way).
 
2012-10-30 01:10:34 PM  

i291.photobucket.com



Welcome, one and all, back to the trivia game where the stats are obscure, the host is drunk, and nobody cares about your score or who won!
Another crazy NFL week is in the books. Records have been set. Players have been injured. The Texans had a bye but nobody noticed.
Let's get right into the obscure statistical trivia. This week we have 3 categories, QBs, WRs, and Teams. Answers will be provided later in the thread when everyone has had a chance to call me an asshole and argue over the stats.


Name That QB:

1. Offensive Pass Interference is a penalty usually reserved for receivers. This Quarterback managed to draw a flag for Offensive Pass Interference this week - one of the strangest penalty calls in recent memory.

2. Thanks to another game of absolutely obscene statistics usually reserved for guys who complete 1 pass, this QB leads the NFL in completion percentage for the season.

3. This player is the story of two stats. He is statistically in the bottom 5 in QB Rating on the road. But at home, he has the best QB Rating in the NFL.


Name That WR

1. "Passes Not Caught for the season" is sort of a loaded stat. It doesn't account for poorly thrown balls or interceptions. However, this player leads the league in this unfortunate statistic, much to the chagrin of his Fantasy Football owners.

2. Yards per reception is a good way to determine who is functioning as the kind of deep threat that keeps defenses honest and opens up the running game. This player leads the NFL in Yards/Reception.

3. Some receivers are burners, some receivers are slot players. And some receivers do everything. This player epitomizes that concept. He leads WRs in both Receptions and Yards After Catch.


Name That Team

1. Jason Witten wowed the NFL this week with 18 receptions. One team, however, set the bar low by not only having fewer receptions than Jason Witten, but having the lowest reception total for the week.

2. Speaking of disappointing performances, this team became the first team in NFL history to allow 400+ yards for 7 consecutive games. Something to remember if you're looking for a fantasy defense to feast upon.

3. To round out this trifecta of failure, this team has the lowest sack total of the season. Sacks are certainly an important stat and if your defense isn't getting to the QB, you're probably losing. And this team certainly is losing.
 
2012-10-30 01:25:22 PM  
Also could we get this greenlit some time before the day is almost over? Lately these threads have been getting greened really late.
 
2012-10-30 02:28:52 PM  

Treygreen13: Also could we get this greenlit some time before the day is almost over? Lately these threads have been getting greened really late.


A little love from me has been sent in that general Di-rection. Let us see how things unfold.....
 
2012-10-30 02:44:33 PM  
I know we're only seven games in, and technically, it's not over yet, but I'm going to go ahead and call it:

graphics8.nytimes.com
 
2012-10-30 02:53:29 PM  
I can't believe the Cowboys moved up a spot. Seriously. WTF.
 
2012-10-30 02:56:13 PM  

Treygreen13: I can't believe the Cowboys moved up a spot. Seriously. WTF.


Surprised by that too. I've got the video on my phone of the brutal slow-mo hit on Romo by Canty. I watch it whenever I need a laugh.
 
2012-10-30 02:57:34 PM  

scottydoesntknow: Treygreen13: I can't believe the Cowboys moved up a spot. Seriously. WTF.

Surprised by that too. I've got the video on my phone of the brutal slow-mo hit on Romo by Canty. I watch it whenever I need a laugh.


Are you talking about the one where Romo closes his eyes? That was pretty awesome.
 
2012-10-30 02:58:40 PM  

Treygreen13: I can't believe the Cowboys moved up a spot. Seriously. WTF.


For once, the blurb explained it all. That WAS quite the spectacular comeback & the defense deserves an ass-ton of credit for it.
 
2012-10-30 03:02:25 PM  

Di Atribe: Treygreen13: I can't believe the Cowboys moved up a spot. Seriously. WTF.

For once, the blurb explained it all. That WAS quite the spectacular comeback & the defense deserves an ass-ton of credit for it.


I was going to argue that you shouldn't really move up after a loss, but I'm having trouble finding a team below them that would take their spot. The closest team that won was the Colts (who moved up 8 spots) and then the Bucs, but the Cows have a win over them. The Lions could be over them since they won.
 
2012-10-30 03:03:42 PM  
Heyo thanks for the earlier green, modmins.
 
2012-10-30 03:06:11 PM  

Treygreen13: 1. Offensive Pass Interference is a penalty usually reserved for receivers. This Quarterback managed to draw a flag for Offensive Pass Interference this week - one of the strangest penalty calls in recent memory.

2. Thanks to another game of absolutely obscene statistics usually reserved for guys who complete 1 pass, this QB leads the NFL in completion percentage for the season.

3. This player is the story of two stats. He is statistically in the bottom 5 in QB Rating on the road. But at home, he has the best QB Rating in the NFL.


Robert Griffin III
..ummm...Tim Tebow?
...Russell Wilson?

Team No. 2 is the Saints. That's all I know.
 
2012-10-30 03:07:58 PM  
Well, it's not Tim Tebow, though he's actually pretty high on passing lists if you go unqualified. But there are two correct answers for No. 2 on QBs!
 
2012-10-30 03:10:13 PM  
Hey Treygreen, I also found that, if ESPN's stats are to be believed, that the Bengals have recovered MORE fumbles than they've forced. (They've apparently recovered 6 and only forced 5).
 
2012-10-30 03:10:29 PM  
Alright, I gotta get something off my chest, here.

I was at the bar with the gf and some friends. All Packer fans except me. So I'm watching other games, too. I was watching Washington trying to go down the field near the end of the game. RG3 steps back in the pocket, throws and then I watch a defensive player take 3 steps and drill him into the ground. The pass was incomplete, and they had to punt. I couldn't believe no one threw a flag on it. Had it been Tom Brady there would have been 4 flags, National Guard and Bob Kraft's personal security detail on the field to haul the guy off to jail. I'm not a Redskin fan, but that pissed me off when I saw that.
 
2012-10-30 03:12:02 PM  
Damn, Cleveland, San Francisco, and Detroit have also recovered more fumbles than they've forced. Meanwhile, Miami has forced 11 and only recovered 3. That's messed up.
 
2012-10-30 03:12:30 PM  

IAmRight: Team No. 2 is the Saints. That's all I know.


Yup. Not even the Drew Brees era Saints can shake the team's long-standing tradition of blazing new frontiers in futility.

...

And WR #3 is Percy Harvin.
 
2012-10-30 03:12:31 PM  

IAmRight: Hey Treygreen, I also found that, if ESPN's stats are to be believed, that the Bengals have recovered MORE fumbles than they've forced. (They've apparently recovered 6 and only forced 5).


I've been going off the Washington Post's stats, because they keep the more obscure stats like 2nd Half Completion Percentage and Targets. Other places might keep them but they make them a pain to find.
 
2012-10-30 03:12:45 PM  

Treygreen13: I was going to argue that you shouldn't really move up after a loss, but I'm having trouble finding a team below them that would take their spot. The closest team that won was the Colts (who moved up 8 spots) and then the Bucs, but the Cows have a win over them. The Lions could be over them since they won.


Yeah, as I'm putting together the graph & sorting out the info, it looks like 24 teams either held steady or were dropped. So that's what 1/4 of teams that moved up? That seems out of balance, somehow. It was only one spot, so it's not like they made a bold move (like they did with the Colts).

Also, 5 teams hit their lowest rankings & 4 hit their highest. That's a lot for this late in the season. It should be more like 2 & 2.
 
2012-10-30 03:12:46 PM  

IAmRight: Treygreen13: 1. Offensive Pass Interference is a penalty usually reserved for receivers. This Quarterback managed to draw a flag for Offensive Pass Interference this week - one of the strangest penalty calls in recent memory.

2. Thanks to another game of absolutely obscene statistics usually reserved for guys who complete 1 pass, this QB leads the NFL in completion percentage for the season.

3. This player is the story of two stats. He is statistically in the bottom 5 in QB Rating on the road. But at home, he has the best QB Rating in the NFL.

Robert Griffin III
..ummm...Tim Tebow?
...Russell Wilson?

Team No. 2 is the Saints. That's all I know.


I think #2 must be Alex Smith, with his 18/19 performance last night.
 
2012-10-30 03:13:07 PM  
Bettingwise.....7-6.

New England -7 St. Louis (At London) 46.5
STL to cover, I don't think NE is as good as believed and Rams I think are better than perceived.

0-1


@Tennessee -3.5 Indianapolis 46.5
Indy, not sure why Tennessee is favored.


Colts by 6, 1-1.


@Green Bay -16 Jacksonville 45.5
yeeeeeeeeeeesh! Line of the year? Too many points at the NFL level, Jax to cover. I know Jax is playing awful but that's just too many damn points.


2-1. that's a college football line, not an NFL line.


San Diego -3 At Cleveland 41
anyways.....SD outright.

gaaaah. 2-2


@ Philadelphia -3 Atlanta 42
what? easy money. ATL outright.


3-2. how was philly favored?



@Detroit -2.5 Seattle 42.5
another puzzling line. detroit i guess should be favored but no. Seatown walks.

3-3 gaaaaaaaa



@ NY Jets -1.5 Miami 38.5
remember Bryan Cox walking into Joe Robbie or whatever they called it, pregame with his middle fingers out? that was awesome. Gonna say Miami here outright.

4-3. do they play again this year? Reggie Bush said yesterday that the Jets quit. That kind of stuff does not sit well in locker rooms.



@Chicago -7.5 Carolina 42
huh. should be more IMO. I'll say Carolina covers this as when a big line goes small, something's going on the public doesn't know, Carolina covers


5-3.


@Pittsburgh -4 Washington 44
odd number for this piont of the season.......gahh........Gonna say Wash covers.

5-4


@Kansas City -1 Oakland 42
man. a combined 3-9 record with KC with juts one win. the pride of East Bay walks.

6-4


NY Giants -2.5 At Dallas 48
NYG should be favored by 4 at least. BUT Eli hasn't gone full Eli in a while -- you know, the 2 TD, 4INT, 13-29, 110 yard Eli -- so I think Dallas sneaks by in this one but in low single digits. i'll say dallas outright in a minor upset (minor because frankly, NYG isn't thaaaaaaaat good and dallas i don't think thaaaaat bad).

gaaaaaaah!!!!! and if Dez Bryant's fingers are about what, 2 inches (if that) inbounds, i'm proven right. what a game. NYG got out to what, 23-0 off TOs? and then Cowboys stormed back?

and also, dallas stadium is beautiful in that afternoon light. shame they don't play more games with the light coming in like that.

6-5


@ Denver -6.5 New Orleans 55
Huh...........hmmm.......i don't doubt that the Donks will win but that number is off. doesn't feel right. against better judgment i'll say Donks outright. but that number is goofy.


7-5. weird. usually my "against better judgmetn" works against me. 20 point win.

and i think this game sealed teh West for the Donks (SD is in second place, and that team is just not doing anything) and also ended Saitns' season at 2-5


Monday Night Football Line
10/29 8:40 ET San Francisco -7 At Arizona 38
love my redbirds.....betting from the heart not mind i'll say cover.


ugh. i turend it off.


i hate being right.....the regression i predicted after the Rams loss is in full bloom and has no end in sight, with I believe @ GB, @ ATL, home Rams (rams are not as bad as they appear, their losses, while bad, are to legit teams: GB, Bears, Miami is better than appear, and Pats are "interesting") and then I think @ Cleveland. There's the real chance of a 7 game ( i think) losing streak.

annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd once again, we're in the QB stakes. thanks ken!
 
2012-10-30 03:13:15 PM  
Worst 7-0 team in NFL history!

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
 
2012-10-30 03:13:19 PM  
The browns are just right - for now
 
2012-10-30 03:13:33 PM  

Nadie_AZ: I was at the bar with the gf and some friends. All Packer fans except me. So I'm watching other games, too. I was watching Washington trying to go down the field near the end of the game. RG3 steps back in the pocket, throws and then I watch a defensive player take 3 steps and drill him into the ground. The pass was incomplete, and they had to punt. I couldn't believe no one threw a flag on it. Had it been Tom Brady there would have been 4 flags, National Guard and Bob Kraft's personal security detail on the field to haul the guy off to jail. I'm not a Redskin fan, but that pissed me off when I saw that.


Um, you're from Arizona, you should be familiar with the rules for the rest of the league's QBs by now, and that unless your name is Brady or Manning, they don't care if you get hit.
 
2012-10-30 03:15:37 PM  

Nadie_AZ: Had it been Tom Brady there would have been 4 flags, National Guard and Bob Kraft's personal security detail on the field to haul the guy off to jail. I'm not a Redskin fan, but that pissed me off when I saw that.


Well RG3's not a national treasure.

Yet.


/don't tell any filthy redskins fans i said that
 
2012-10-30 03:15:45 PM  
The Carolina-KC game is going to be HUGE in deciding the first pick in the draft, but I think Jacksonville has a clear path to the bottom.
 
2012-10-30 03:16:20 PM  

bulldg4life: Worst 7-0 team in NFL history!

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee


No national attention. Almost no respect. I'll take it. Hell, I am ready to go full Matt Chernoff and ring the bell on the division, but I won't because we know what will happen then.
 
2012-10-30 03:16:36 PM  

IAmRight: We only lost two positions? Dammit, I was kinda hoping to be dropped further in order to cement us as roller-coaster team of the year.

Wilson continues to improve and the main problem with the team is that, while we're the best in the league at forcing third-and-long, we're the sh*ttiest at defending third-and-long. I actually root for opposing teams to gain yardage on first and second downs because we're better at stopping them if they're at 3rd and 2 than we are if they're at 3rd and 10 (or at least it feels that way).


We do a hell of a lot better when teams run on 3rd and short. The short passing game is killing us. I think it's a function of young LBs teamed up with Leroy Hill, who might be the worst coverage LB in NFL history. Not to mention that Browner got used by Young all day on Sunday due to Young's speed. Again, most of those were short passes.
 
2012-10-30 03:17:19 PM  

IAmRight: Hey Treygreen, I also found that, if ESPN's stats are to be believed, that the Bengals have recovered MORE fumbles than they've forced. (They've apparently recovered 6 and only forced 5).


There have been several fumbles this year (at least 2 that I can think of) where the receiver was running well after the catch and just dropped the ball switching hands. That is an unforced fumble. So is a muffed punt/kick. So is a botched QB-Center exchange. So is a back running into his own man and fumbling.

/themoreyouknow.gif
 
2012-10-30 03:18:08 PM  

rickythepenguin: There's the real chance of a 7 game ( i think) losing streak.


Don't forget that you'll also get to play @Seattle and @San Francisco!

As I said at the beginning of the MNF thread, Cards are cooked with their upcoming schedule. Seahawks are primed to make a move (5 home games, all road games being winnable), provided that they fix their third-down defense. I was a bit optimistic going into Detroit, but it looked like they figured out how to play offense when the defense takes away Calvin Johnson (for the most part). Oh well. At least the offense looked competent despite missing a few WRs.

Except that one stupid INT.
 
2012-10-30 03:19:30 PM  

abmoraz: There have been several fumbles this year (at least 2 that I can think of) where the receiver was running well after the catch and just dropped the ball switching hands. That is an unforced fumble. So is a muffed punt/kick. So is a botched QB-Center exchange. So is a back running into his own man and fumbling.


Yeah, but I'm pointing out that holy sh*t these teams are lucky to be recovering all these fumbles.
 
2012-10-30 03:20:01 PM  

bulldg4life: Worst 7-0 team in NFL history!

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee



it really is remarkable. youll finish.....ehhh..........well let's take a look:

Dallas (win)
@ Saints (win)
Cardinals (win)
@ TB (win)
Saints (win)
@ Caro (win)
NYG (ehhhh)
@ DET (ehhhh)
TB (split, as you won't beat them twice)


you'll go 13-3 or maybe "just" 12-4, then host a GB or perhaps SFO team and get that ass ragdolled.
 
2012-10-30 03:20:14 PM  
I'm waiting for the beat down of the Cowpokes Sunday night
 
2012-10-30 03:23:03 PM  

KingKauff: I'm waiting for the beat down of the Cowpokes Sunday night



oh jesus christ. really? (just checked....ayup. Dallas @ ATL SNF.)


i know they're a national draw but.....when can NBC start flexing out of those games? that's supposed to be the marquee game.
 
2012-10-30 03:23:27 PM  

IAmRight: Treygreen13: 1. Offensive Pass Interference is a penalty usually reserved for receivers. This Quarterback managed to draw a flag for Offensive Pass Interference this week - one of the strangest penalty calls in recent memory.

2. Thanks to another game of absolutely obscene statistics usually reserved for guys who complete 1 pass, this QB leads the NFL in completion percentage for the season.

3. This player is the story of two stats. He is statistically in the bottom 5 in QB Rating on the road. But at home, he has the best QB Rating in the NFL.

Robert Griffin III
..ummm...Tim Tebow?
...Russell Wilson?

Team No. 2 is the Saints. That's all I know.


I would think number 3 QB would be Flacco.
 
2012-10-30 03:24:42 PM  

rickythepenguin: KingKauff: I'm waiting for the beat down of the Cowpokes Sunday night


oh jesus christ. really? (just checked....ayup. Dallas @ ATL SNF.)


i know they're a national draw but.....when can NBC start flexing out of those games? that's supposed to be the marquee game.


I would prefer the 4:00 time slot. I've gotta work the next day! Except this time. I took it off to go "hunting"
 
2012-10-30 03:24:46 PM  

rickythepenguin: KingKauff: I'm waiting for the beat down of the Cowpokes Sunday night


oh jesus christ. really? (just checked....ayup. Dallas @ ATL SNF.)


i know they're a national draw but.....when can NBC start flexing out of those games? that's supposed to be the marquee game.


It's not like the Cowboys are 1-6. They're 3-4. Plenty of season left.
 
2012-10-30 03:26:30 PM  
I hope Robsul is OK.
 
2012-10-30 03:26:37 PM  
the 49ers are too dang low!
 
2012-10-30 03:27:56 PM  

ATRDCI: I would think number 3 QB would be Flacco.


Maybe. I just remember Wilson is 6 TD, 0 INT at home and 4 TD, 8 INT on the road (thanks to this week's 2 TD, 1 INT - 2/7 split looks worse).
 
2012-10-30 03:29:22 PM  
THE RAIDERS AND SAINTS ARE not too far from where they belong actually. Saints maybe a spot or two high
 
2012-10-30 03:30:20 PM  
As a Bears fan...no way they should be ranked that high. Jeez, that Carolina game was scary bad. Defense can't score every game, can they?
 
2012-10-30 03:31:27 PM  

Treygreen13: It's not like the Cowboys are 1-6. They're 3-4. Plenty of season left.



true but your boys don't pass the eyeball test. now, that was an amazing comeback but......no.

the East is very intriguing. NYG is i think markedly overerated, the Eagles are being coached into a sub .500 season (andy, what the fark? why are you riding out vick? cliche approaching, but does Vick have "incirminating" photos of you? it is just bizarre how you are dead set on riding Vick out this year), and Dallas and Wash are just......i don't know.

Wash is interesting schedulewise. 5 of their final 8 are against the East: 2 vs Eagles, 2 vs Dallas, 1 vs NYG.

I wonder if Wash somehow catches fire to steal the East. I"m only saying that based upon how moribund the entire division is, including NYG. NYG has the luck of the irish it seems. gthey have no business being 6-2.
 
2012-10-30 03:34:30 PM  

rickythepenguin: true but your boys don't pass the eyeball test. now, that was an amazing comeback but......no.


Just seems like a slam dunk late game to me. The biggest NFL franchise struggling to stay in the race versus an undefeated Falcons team struggling to stay perfect.
 
2012-10-30 03:35:33 PM  
i want to say qb#2 is brady quinn, and #3 is Rivers.
 
2012-10-30 03:35:54 PM  

TOO DAMN HIGH

It's where the Chargers are.

 
2012-10-30 03:38:50 PM  

Treygreen13: Just seems like a slam dunk late game to me. The biggest NFL franchise struggling to stay in the race versus an undefeated Falcons team struggling to stay perfect.


What? There's nothing interesting about that. Now watch this graph:

i.imgur.com



Linkypoppybigger

Uninteresting factoids:

Change from Week 1 to this week :
Two 15 point drops: Saints & Chiefs
One 19 point jump: Vikings

Two teams ARE WHO WE THOUGHT THEY WERE (back at their Week 1 rankings): 49ers, Cowboys*

Number of times rankings have changed:
12 teams have changed every week
7 teams have changed all but once
2 teams have moved thrice: Jaguars & Browns

Difference between high rank & low rank:
Lowest fluctuation: Jaguars with 2
Highest fluctuation: Vikings with 22
Average fluctuation: 9.813

Overall fluctuation travel:
Smallest: Jaguars & Browns with 4
Highest: Seahawks with 41

Teams hitting their highest rank this week: Raiders, Dolphins, Browns, & Colts
Teams hitting their lowest rank this week: Ravens, Eagles, Chargers, Bills, & Panthers

Ten teams did not change rank: I ain't listin all of 'em, dammit

Five teams have held the #1 spot 


*AND WE LET 'EM OFF THE HOOK
 
2012-10-30 03:39:36 PM  
My New England Patriots are such an anomaly. Despite the huge defensive and the occasional offensive identity issues, they're 5-3, same record as last year after eight games, and are actually statistically better on both sides of the ball than last year.

I figured they'd beat the Rams, but I figured it'd be business as usual in the secondary and Bradford would have a huge day.

Not sure what they are at this point. Second half of the season should be interesting.
 
2012-10-30 03:39:56 PM  
I see SF now has the best scoring defense, allowing only 3 more points than CHI with playing one more game than CHI.

Of course, Chicago's defense has scored 6 TDs, while SF has scored 0.
 
2012-10-30 03:40:02 PM  
Well I somehow managed to avoid a power outage due to the storm (despite seeing two downed power lines within a 5 mile radius during a drive earlier), which is fortunate as I need to gloat over yet another 10 win week. :) This brings the season mark up to a solid 74-43, including an eerily accurate Panthers-Bears prediction. Still not the perfect week which I know is coming soon, but good enough for government work.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Minnesota Vikings:
Aside from calling Christian Ponder Blaine Gabbert and predicting a final which was much closer than the actual score, nailed this one. Josh Freeman ended his streak of 300-yard games but still had a very strong outing, and Adrian Peterson's big game was held in check more by the score than by anything Tampa's defense did. Bucs rookie Doug Martin also notched his first career 100-yard rushing effort, as the Buccaneers offense is really clicking right now. 1-0

Carolina Panthers at Chicago Bears:
Jay Cutler did indeed have a bad game (first half, really) and Chicago bearly (HA!) managed to squeak out the win as proof of my wizadry. Newton had one of his best games this season from a statistical standpoint, but his two interceptions hurt the final line & Carolina's only touchdown came courtesy of Cam's fumble into the end zone. 2-0


San Diego Chargers at Cleveland Browns:
So after I hyped San Diego's #1-ranked run defense, Trent Richardson ran all over them to the tune of a 5.1 average on 24 carries. Philip Rivers avoided committing any turnovers, but his fnal line of 18/34 passing for 154 yards wasn't exactly Hall of Fame-worthy. The Browns notched consecutive home wins for the first time since weeks 16 & 17 of the 2009 season. 2-1


Seattle Seahawks at Detroit Lions:
It wasn't the ugly, low-scoring affair which I predicted, but the Lions managed the come-from-behind win behind a strong effort from Matthew Stafford and a career day for second-year receiver Titus Young. Meanwhile, the Seahawks lost while scoring more than 20 points for the first time this season. 3-1

Jacksonville Jaguars at Green Bay Packers:
Once again, this is why I don't actually bet on football; Green Bay did indeed win, but not by anywhere close to the 20+ points I predicted. Blaine Gabbert posted his first career 300-yard passing game in the loss while the MJD-less Jaguars managed just 62 net rushing yards for the day. Aaron Rodgers was held under 200 yards passing in a non-injury start for the first time since week 8 of 2010. 4-1


Miami Dolphins at New York Jets:
What more can you say about the Jets than that they got blown out at home by the Miami Dolphins? How about this: Miami's three touchdowns came after drives of 0 (blocked punt), 32 (following Mark Sanchez fumble), and 40 (after a 57-yard kickoff return) yards. I'm starting to think that if something doesn't change in a hurry, this might be Rex Ryan's last season in New York. 4-2

Atlanta Falcons at Philadelphia Eagles:
Speaking of head coaches living on borrowed time, the Eagles lost coming off a bye week for the first time in Andy Reid's 13+ year tenure; this despite Philadelphia not turning the ball over a single time in the game (just the second time they've managed that this season). Not turning the ball over doesn't help so much when your defense doesn't get its first stop of the game until the latter half of the third quarter, though. The 7-0 Falcons don't face another team with a winning record until week 15 (NY Giants) 4-3


Washington Redskins at Pittsburgh Steelers:
As predicted, Ben Roethlisberger had little difficulty with the Redskins' 32-ranked pass defense, but perhaps most surprising in Pittsburgh's win was third-string running back Jonathan Dwyer notching his second consecutive 100-yard rushing performance (again on only 17 carries). The unfairly maligned "old" Steelers' defense held Robert Griffin fully in check throughout the game and limited Washington's running attack to 86 yards. 5-3

New England Patriots "at" St. Louis Rams:
I said I expected the Pats to win this one pretty easily, but not even I expected 45 unanswered points in a 38-point blowout. Tom Brady looked as good as he ever has as St. Louis gave up 473 yards of offense to New England. Rams backup Kellen Clemens didn't throw a single incompletion in limited mop-up duty: one completion for 39 yards, and 1 interception. 6-3

Indianapolis Colts at Tennessee Titans:
So two teams who haven't shown much of any ability to stop opponents end up playing to a 13-13 tie at the end of regulation and the Colts manage an overtime touchdown to win with 19 points. Again, this is why I don't actually bet on football; this marked the first time this season that Tennessee has held an opponent under 20 points, and just the second time they've allowed less than 30 in a game. 7-3


Oakland Raiders at Kansas City Chiefs:
The Brady Quinn era lasted for exactly 4 pass attempts before he was pulled for a mysterious head injury, paving the way for Matt Cassel to finish the loss. Not only did the Raiders manage to contain Jamaal Charles and the Chiefs' rushing game, they utterly stonewalled them--Cassel wound up as K.C.'s leading rusher with 35 yards. Darren McFadden added season highs of 29 carries and 114 yards in the victory. 7-4


New York Giants at Dallas Cowboys:
What a weird game. The Giants jump out to a 23-0 lead, then Dallas comes back with 24 unanswered before New York scores the final two field goals to win the game. Tony Romo throws for 437 yards on 62 attempts but completes 4 passes to the wrong team while Eli Manning goes just 15 of 29 for 192 yards and an interception of his own. Felix Jones runs for 19 yards to provide the Cowboys with 100% of their rushing total but 3 Dallas receivers go over 100 yards, including Jason Witten who hauled in 18 passes for 167. Dez Bryant also cracks 100 receiving yards, but manages to fumble twice (1 lost) in only 5 touches. Dallas is now 1-2 on the season when scoring more than 20 points. 8-4

New Orleans Saints at Denver Broncos:
Sean Payton for Coach of the Year! Seriously, though...I cannot remember ever seeing a team tank this hard following a playoff season, at least not without suffering a slew of injuries and/or players lost over the offseason. And all Peyton Manning did in this one was break 300 yards passing for the fifth consecutive game, and throw 3 touchdowns for the fourth straight time; I think it's safe to say that he marks an upgrade over Timmysprinkles at this point. 9-4

San Francisco 49ers at Arizona Cardinals:
Hurricane Superstorm Sandy made me miss this game, and judging from the stat line I missed one heck of a performance by Alex Smith. 18 of 19 (with the lone incompletion being a drop) for 232 & 3 touchdowns, while Arizona managed just 7 yards on the ground in 9 attempts. Put into a bit of perspective, Matt Hasselbeck of the Titans ran for 10 yards this week and he's 900 years old. 10-4
 
2012-10-30 03:43:51 PM  

rickythepenguin: Treygreen13: It's not like the Cowboys are 1-6. They're 3-4. Plenty of season left.


true but your boys don't pass the eyeball test. now, that was an amazing comeback but......no.

the East is very intriguing. NYG is i think markedly overerated, the Eagles are being coached into a sub .500 season (andy, what the fark? why are you riding out vick? cliche approaching, but does Vick have "incirminating" photos of you? it is just bizarre how you are dead set on riding Vick out this year), and Dallas and Wash are just......i don't know.

Wash is interesting schedulewise. 5 of their final 8 are against the East: 2 vs Eagles, 2 vs Dallas, 1 vs NYG.

I wonder if Wash somehow catches fire to steal the East. I"m only saying that based upon how moribund the entire division is, including NYG. NYG has the luck of the irish it seems. gthey have no business being 6-2.


I think Dallas has a good shot at Atlanta. By and large, everyone thinks Atlanta's not THAT good. They'll probably lose somewhere along the line. And Dallas isn't bad. Well, Felix Jones is terrible. They probably need Murray.

Also, the Eagles are just boned. They have no o-line whatsoever. Throwing a rookie behind those turnstyles would get ugly.
 
2012-10-30 03:44:05 PM  

iggyskuz: i want to say qb#2 is brady quinn, and #3 is Rivers.


I want to go all DeNiro-from-Untouchables on Phil Rivers this year. What a waste of a fantasy QB slot. You might figure, for a guy that talks as much shiat as he does, he might be better at this point than Russel Wilson, but there's ol' Phil, with performances of 6, 9 and 5 points this season.

// I'm also a bit bitter because I had to use Meachem in the flex this week (-.6 points) due to injuries/byes
// NO ONE's available to patch the holes I have on that team - Dreesen might replace Gates at TE if Rivers continues to suck more than anything has ever sucked
// giggity
 
2012-10-30 03:44:08 PM  

Treygreen13: The biggest NFL franchise struggling to stay in the race versus an undefeated Falcons team struggling to stay perfect.


that's a fair point.


hey what's the deal with the stadium? do they block out the natural light? I can't recall ever seeing the stadium in that amazing late afternoon light in the western windows. i know for night games they'll have that helicopter shot of the windows but i can't think of any game that looked like that.
 
2012-10-30 03:46:20 PM  

Dr Dreidel: You might figure, for a guy that talks as much shiat as he does


Ummm how much is that?
 
2012-10-30 03:47:15 PM  

Dafatone: rickythepenguin: Treygreen13: It's not like the Cowboys are 1-6. They're 3-4. Plenty of season left.


true but your boys don't pass the eyeball test. now, that was an amazing comeback but......no.

the East is very intriguing. NYG is i think markedly overerated, the Eagles are being coached into a sub .500 season (andy, what the fark? why are you riding out vick? cliche approaching, but does Vick have "incirminating" photos of you? it is just bizarre how you are dead set on riding Vick out this year), and Dallas and Wash are just......i don't know.

Wash is interesting schedulewise. 5 of their final 8 are against the East: 2 vs Eagles, 2 vs Dallas, 1 vs NYG.

I wonder if Wash somehow catches fire to steal the East. I"m only saying that based upon how moribund the entire division is, including NYG. NYG has the luck of the irish it seems. gthey have no business being 6-2.

I think Dallas has a good shot at Atlanta. By and large, everyone thinks Atlanta's not THAT good. They'll probably lose somewhere along the line. And Dallas isn't bad. Well, Felix Jones is terrible. They probably need Murray.

Also, the Eagles are just boned. They have no o-line whatsoever. Throwing a rookie behind those turnstyles would get ugly.


Oh I think Dez will find a way to hand ATL the ball at least once, maybe twice. That boy just cannot get his shiat together.
 
2012-10-30 03:48:51 PM  
Treygreen13:

2. Thanks to another game of absolutely obscene statistics usually reserved for guys who complete 1 pass, this QB leads the NFL in completion percentage for the season

Mason Crosby?
 
2012-10-30 03:49:29 PM  

Dafatone: I think Dallas has a good shot at Atlanta. By and large, everyone thinks Atlanta's not THAT good. They'll probably lose somewhere along the line. And Dallas isn't bad. W



Atl is absolutely a fugazi 7-0. but don't mistake that for them being a bad football team. they'll have a bad loss. everyone does. i just can't imagine how Dallas gets it done.

and Dallas is 2-2 OTR while ATL is a perfect (albeit small sample size) 3-0 at home.

gonna say ATL favored by....hmm......The Star On the Helmet (TSOtA) means vegas shaves off 1.5 points, so....ehh......ATL by 3.5.
 
2012-10-30 03:50:27 PM  

rickythepenguin: The Star On the Helmet (TSOtA) means vegas shaves off 1.5 points, so....ehh......ATL by 3.5.



DAMN IT FEELS GOOD TO BE A GANGSTER.

Opened at 3, is now at 4.
 
2012-10-30 03:50:47 PM  
The Broncos break the Top 10! XD

i1182.photobucket.com
 
2012-10-30 03:51:25 PM  

rickythepenguin: hey what's the deal with the stadium? do they block out the natural light? I can't recall ever seeing the stadium in that amazing late afternoon light in the western windows. i know for night games they'll have that helicopter shot of the windows but i can't think of any game that looked like that.


The end zones basically face east-west, so those afternoon games have the setting sun gleaming through. Awesome for photo ops. Not so great for teams throwing into the sun, aye.
 
2012-10-30 03:51:34 PM  

ShadowLAnCeR: the 49ers are too dang low!


Not really, we're right where we should be.

1) Dirty Birds are firing on all cylinders. They're the only undefeated team left this year. It's hard to argue that they shouldn't be #1
2) We still haven't found a solution to the New York Football Giants yet. And they still have our number.
3) Texans had a bye, no evidence to move them up or down this week.
4) As much as I believe in Alex Smith, he's still too easy to rattle and get thrown off his rhythm. We don't know which Alex is going to show up from week to week. He's still our guy and I'm still glad he's our QB, I just wish he had a bit more consistency.

Now, all that said, if the Cowboys had pulled off the upset on Sunday, the Giants would have fallen a couple notches and the Texans and Niners would have moved up thusly.
 
2012-10-30 03:51:57 PM  

Treygreen13: I can't believe the Cowboys moved up a spot. Seriously. WTF.


So a team that loses, who might have won but had to come back from a 23-point deficit to make it interesting, with a 3-4 record, whose quarterback laid claim to the Jake this week, moves up a spot. Meanwhile, the Steelers get jumped after laying a hurting on the Redskins and their vaunted quarterback and not allowing a single sack on Big Ben?

Yeah. It made no sense to me, either. That's OK, though, the Steelers will be division leaders soon after Baltimore's totally depleted defense and shady offense both get exploited repeatedly for the rest of the season. There will be justice, just not this week.
 
2012-10-30 03:52:23 PM  

Rickenbacker: As a Bears fan...no way they should be ranked that high. Jeez, that Carolina game was scary bad. Defense can't score every game, can they?


Good teams can bad games and still win against bad teams. Green Bay hardly looked like worldbeaters against JAX, and that game was closer than the score indicated.

The Bears have plenty of problems, primarily inconsistency. When the offense is on, they could beat any team in the league. When they're not, it gets ugly and they're vulnerable to the Panthers.

The defense won't score every game, but the D-line has been getting pressure on everybody, so I'd expect that to continue.
 
2012-10-30 03:52:53 PM  

rickythepenguin: The Star On the Helmet (TSOtA



that would be TSOtH.
 
2012-10-30 03:54:05 PM  

Harv72b: Well I somehow managed to avoid a power outage due to the storm (despite seeing two downed power lines within a 5 mile radius during a drive earlier), which is fortunate as I need to gloat over yet another 10 win week. :) This brings the season mark up to a solid 74-43, including an eerily accurate Panthers-Bears prediction. Still not the perfect week which I know is coming soon, but good enough for government work.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Minnesota Vikings:
Aside from calling Christian Ponder Blaine Gabbert and predicting a final which was much closer than the actual score, nailed this one. Josh Freeman ended his streak of 300-yard games but still had a very strong outing, and Adrian Peterson's big game was held in check more by the score than by anything Tampa's defense did. Bucs rookie Doug Martin also notched his first career 100-yard rushing effort, as the Buccaneers offense is really clicking right now. 1-0

Carolina Panthers at Chicago Bears:
Jay Cutler did indeed have a bad game (first half, really) and Chicago bearly (HA!) managed to squeak out the win as proof of my wizadry. Newton had one of his best games this season from a statistical standpoint, but his two interceptions hurt the final line & Carolina's only touchdown came courtesy of Cam's fumble into the end zone. 2-0

San Diego Chargers at Cleveland Browns:
So after I hyped San Diego's #1-ranked run defense, Trent Richardson ran all over them to the tune of a 5.1 average on 24 carries. Philip Rivers avoided committing any turnovers, but his fnal line of 18/34 passing for 154 yards wasn't exactly Hall of Fame-worthy. The Browns notched consecutive home wins for the first time since weeks 16 & 17 of the 2009 season. 2-1

Seattle Seahawks at Detroit Lions:
It wasn't the ugly, low-scoring affair which I predicted, but the Lions managed the come-from-behind win behind a strong effort from Matthew Stafford and a career day for second-year receiver Titus Young. Meanwhile, the Seahawks lost while ...


Do me a favor and flush this turd.
 
2012-10-30 03:56:05 PM  

Captain Steroid: The Broncos break the Top 10! XD


they have the west wrapped up. easiest path tto he super bowl. shouldn't have to play a road game until late in the playoffs.

and, you have to wonder, hosting playoff games, how General January (as Napoleon learned the hard way) affects the AFC race. mkaybe not much. who knows.


Di Atribe: The end zones basically face east-west, so those afternoon games have the setting sun gleaming through. Awesome for photo ops. Not so great for teams throwing into the sun, aye.


why do i have no memory whatsoever of seeing dallas stadium lit up like that?

cardinals @ ASU had that amazing orange=yellow light that would filter in late in games. that iconic picture of Pat Tillman celebrating comes to mind. one thing that sucks about the new house is the lack of natural light. ehhh.
 
2012-10-30 03:56:54 PM  

Adolf Oliver Nipples: Meanwhile, the Steelers get jumped after laying a hurting on the Redskins and their vaunted quarterback and not allowing a single sack on Big Ben?


That could have something to do with the team who jumped ahead of you being the same ones who beat the Steelers 31-19 in week 1.
 
2012-10-30 03:58:39 PM  

Di Atribe: Nadie_AZ: Had it been Tom Brady there would have been 4 flags, National Guard and Bob Kraft's personal security detail on the field to haul the guy off to jail. I'm not a Redskin fan, but that pissed me off when I saw that.

Well RG3's not a national treasure.

Yet.


/don't tell any filthy redskins fans i said that


*Showered just this morning TYVM so we're cool.
I just hope he can survive the year or at least up to and including Week 12:)
 
2012-10-30 03:58:58 PM  

Jubeebee: The Bears have plenty of problems, primarily inconsistency.


This, and the fact that the Seahawks just beat the Bears (last year? two years ago?) in Chicago is the reason that I think that one is winnable for the Seahawks (the other two are winnable because Miami and Buffalo (in Toronto, even)). And the rest are at home.

Primed for a second-half run!
 
2012-10-30 03:59:21 PM  

Rickenbacker: As a Bears fan...no way they should be ranked that high. Jeez, that Carolina game was scary bad. Defense can't score every game, can they?


I was thinking the same thing, but they still have the fourth best point differential in the league. Maybe the defense can score every game; we'll just have to wait and see.

/hopeful
/I'm so used to typing on my phone I just poked a misspelled word on my monitor, in order to fix it.
 
2012-10-30 03:59:27 PM  

Di Atribe: *AND WE LET 'EM OFF THE HOOK


I lol'd. That line gets me every time!
 
2012-10-30 04:00:16 PM  

Adolf Oliver Nipples: the Steelers will be division leaders soon after Baltimore's totally depleted defense and shady offense both get exploited repeatedly for the rest of the season. There will be justice, just not this week.



i loved their uniforms and no i'm not kidding.

granted, Steelers have, in all sports, worldwide (meaning, All Blacks, Man U, Barca, everybody) probably a top 10 most iconic uniform but the bumblebee togs, those were TIGHT.

Unifrom Power Rankings (in no order)

1. All Blacks
2. Lakers
3. Man U
4. Steelers
5. Dodgers
6. Yankees
7. Raiders
8. Barca
9. Tiger's Red On Sunday (althoguh others are co-opting it)
10. Celtics (that is NBA, not SPL)
 
2012-10-30 04:02:39 PM  

Harv72b: Adolf Oliver Nipples: Meanwhile, the Steelers get jumped after laying a hurting on the Redskins and their vaunted quarterback and not allowing a single sack on Big Ben?

That could have something to do with the team who jumped ahead of you being the same ones who beat the Steelers 31-19 in week 1.


Wait, haven't we established that the Power Rankings, besides being utter nonsense, is indicative of what is happening now and not of what happened earlier in the season? There are lots of teams ranked lower than those they beat.

Ah, what the hell. Like I said, there will be justice later in the season.
 
2012-10-30 04:03:19 PM  
Even if Da Bears win next week, I have a feeling the Packers will magically leapfrog them in the rankings because Aaron Rodgers is the new Tom Brady.
 
2012-10-30 04:03:38 PM  

rickythepenguin: why do i have no memory whatsoever of seeing dallas stadium lit up like that?

cardinals @ ASU had that amazing orange=yellow light that would filter in late in games. that iconic picture of Pat Tillman celebrating comes to mind. one thing that sucks about the new house is the lack of natural light. ehhh.


I want to say that it's because we really just don't have many late afternoon games. They're either noon or a night game. I'll look it up later for a comparison. I have to *spit* do other things like *hork* work right now. Ew.

i.imgur.com
 
2012-10-30 04:04:30 PM  

Adolf Oliver Nipples: So a team that loses, who might have won but had to come back from a 23-point deficit to make it interesting, with a 3-4 record, whose quarterback laid claim to the Jake this week, moves up a spot. Meanwhile, the Steelers get jumped after laying a hurting on the Redskins and their vaunted quarterback and not allowing a single sack on Big Ben?

Yeah. It made no sense to me, either.


This is why NFL has a playoff. This is why the sainted few make the majority of money in college football.
 
2012-10-30 04:04:59 PM  

m1ke: Di Atribe: *AND WE LET 'EM OFF THE HOOK

I lol'd. That line gets me every time!


Me too. Sports rants are some of my favorite things & that was one of the very greatest.
 
2012-10-30 04:05:02 PM  
I loved the bumblebee uniforms, too, though I found myself singing "No Rain" all afternoon. Then it rained. Go figure.
 
2012-10-30 04:06:06 PM  
After 8 weeks, here are your Totally Inaccurate NFL computer rankings (Formula: 100 points per win, 10 points 2nd-level (per win of each team beaten), 1 point 3rd level (per 10 2nd-level points of each team beaten), 2 points per point scored, -1 point per point allowed, prorated to 8 games played)

Top 10

1. Falcons (1376 Prorated, 1204 Actual)
2. Texans (1333.71 Prorated, 1167 Actual)
3. Bears (1225.14 Prorated, 1072 Actual)
4. Giants (1136)
5. Patriots (1065 (They are the highest-scoring team in the league))
6. 49ers (1061)
7. Ravens (990.85 Prorated, 867 Actual)
8. Packers (982)
9. Vikings (925)
10. Broncos (922.28 Prorated, 807 Actual)

Bottom 5:

28. Saints (500.57 Prorated, 438 Actual)
29. Browns (395)
30. Panthers (245.71 Prorated, 215 Actual)
31. Jaguars (186.28 Prorated, 163 Actual)
32. Chiefs (179.42 Prorated, 157 Actual)
 
2012-10-30 04:07:54 PM  
Week in, week out, this thread is always worth reading.
 
2012-10-30 04:07:57 PM  

rickythepenguin: i loved their uniforms and no i'm not kidding.


On the one hand: YES IT WASN'T JUST ME!
On the other hand: Aw sh*t, it was ricky that agreed with me.
 
2012-10-30 04:09:24 PM  

Di Atribe: m1ke: Di Atribe: *AND WE LET 'EM OFF THE HOOK

I lol'd. That line gets me every time!

Me too. Sports rants are some of my favorite things & that was one of the very greatest.


How about Harbaugh this Sunday in response to a question about Alex Smith's confidence level:

"I don't think there was ever a question there. I think it's just a lot of gobble, gobble turkey," Harbaugh said. "Just gobble, gobble, gobble turkey from jive turkey gobblers. That paints a pretty good picture of it."
 
2012-10-30 04:11:07 PM  

seumasokelly: How about Harbaugh this Sunday in response to a question about Alex Smith's confidence level:

"I don't think there was ever a question there. I think it's just a lot of gobble, gobble turkey," Harbaugh said. "Just gobble, gobble, gobble turkey from jive turkey gobblers. That paints a pretty good picture of it."


Um. Ohmygod. No, I missed that. You wouldn't happen to have a video of that handy, would you?
 
2012-10-30 04:11:29 PM  

Di Atribe: Me too. Sports rants are some of my favorite things & that was one of the very greatest.



Sports Rant Power Rankings
1. Lee Elia's, "wrigley field is a playground for assholes, 99% of the world is out there working for a living and there's 5,000 assholes with nothing better to do than sit in the bleachers....don't rip those guys [the team], rip my farkin' ass!" (keep in mind, this rant was like, 20 games into the season. you wold think he just lost a game 7 of the WS)

2. Tommy LaSorda, "what do I farkin' think of farkin' kurt farkin' bevacqua? farkin' guy couldn't hit farking water if he fell outta farkin' boat, what kind of farking question is that?"

3. Denny Green

4. Jim Mora, Playoffs

6. Rick Pitino "larrry bird AINT" WALKIN THRU THAT DOOR! ROBER PARISH AIN'T WALKIN THROUG THAT DOOR!"

7. Mike Gundy "IM MAN I'M 40! IF YOU HAVE A CHILD, WHO IS FAAAT!"

8. bobby knight, "i'm sick and farking tired of a farkin 8-10 record in this godamn conference!"

9.
 
2012-10-30 04:11:51 PM  

IAmRight: Dr Dreidel: You might figure, for a guy that talks as much shiat as he does

Ummm how much is that?


A google.
 
2012-10-30 04:13:20 PM  

Di Atribe: seumasokelly: How about Harbaugh this Sunday in response to a question about Alex Smith's confidence level:

"I don't think there was ever a question there. I think it's just a lot of gobble, gobble turkey," Harbaugh said. "Just gobble, gobble, gobble turkey from jive turkey gobblers. That paints a pretty good picture of it."

Um. Ohmygod. No, I missed that. You wouldn't happen to have a video of that handy, would you?

nfl.com
 
2012-10-30 04:13:43 PM  

rickythepenguin: Di Atribe: Me too. Sports rants are some of my favorite things & that was one of the very greatest.


Sports Rant Power Rankings
1. Lee Elia's, "wrigley field is a playground for assholes, 99% of the world is out there working for a living and there's 5,000 assholes with nothing better to do than sit in the bleachers....don't rip those guys [the team], rip my farkin' ass!" (keep in mind, this rant was like, 20 games into the season. you wold think he just lost a game 7 of the WS)

2. Tommy LaSorda, "what do I farkin' think of farkin' kurt farkin' bevacqua? farkin' guy couldn't hit farking water if he fell outta farkin' boat, what kind of farking question is that?"

3. Denny Green

4. Jim Mora, Playoffs

6. Rick Pitino "larrry bird AINT" WALKIN THRU THAT DOOR! ROBER PARISH AIN'T WALKIN THROUG THAT DOOR!"

7. Mike Gundy "IM MAN I'M 40! IF YOU HAVE A CHILD, WHO IS FAAAT!"

8. bobby knight, "i'm sick and farking tired of a farkin 8-10 record in this godamn conference!"

9.


Alan Iverson "Practice? Man, we talkin' 'bout practice"
 
2012-10-30 04:14:21 PM  

Di Atribe: Nadie_AZ: Had it been Tom Brady there would have been 4 flags, National Guard and Bob Kraft's personal security detail on the field to haul the guy off to jail. I'm not a Redskin fan, but that pissed me off when I saw that.

Well RG3's not a national treasure.

Yet.


/don't tell any filthy redskins fans i said that


This filthy Redskins fan spotted it....
 
2012-10-30 04:14:26 PM  

Di Atribe: I want to say that it's because we really just don't have many late afternoon games. They're either noon or a night game. I'll look it up later for a comparison. I have to *spit* do other things like *hork* work right now. Ew.


blocked, but i'll hceck later.


Adolf Oliver Nipples: I loved the bumblebee uniforms, too, though I found myself singing "No Rain" all afternoon. Then it rained. Go figure.


i may or may not have started a song parody titled "No Rape" that was going no where which I may or may not have abandoned, assuming i in fact started sucha a parody WHICH YOU CAN'T PROVE.

/all i can say is that my life is pretty plain
I like to go in bars and just rape.
all i can do is block the door with my shoe
and while the cops guard the door, i just rape.
raaaape.
raaaape.
it's a mistake....it's a mistaah, hay, hay, hake
to ray, hay, hay, hape.

rape.
 
2012-10-30 04:14:47 PM  

KingKauff: rickythepenguin: Di Atribe: Me too. Sports rants are some of my favorite things & that was one of the very greatest.


Sports Rant Power Rankings
1. Lee Elia's, "wrigley field is a playground for assholes, 99% of the world is out there working for a living and there's 5,000 assholes with nothing better to do than sit in the bleachers....don't rip those guys [the team], rip my farkin' ass!" (keep in mind, this rant was like, 20 games into the season. you wold think he just lost a game 7 of the WS)

2. Tommy LaSorda, "what do I farkin' think of farkin' kurt farkin' bevacqua? farkin' guy couldn't hit farking water if he fell outta farkin' boat, what kind of farking question is that?"

3. Denny Green

4. Jim Mora, Playoffs

6. Rick Pitino "larrry bird AINT" WALKIN THRU THAT DOOR! ROBER PARISH AIN'T WALKIN THROUG THAT DOOR!"

7. Mike Gundy "IM MAN I'M 40! IF YOU HAVE A CHILD, WHO IS FAAAT!"

8. bobby knight, "i'm sick and farking tired of a farkin 8-10 record in this godamn conference!"

9.

Alan Iverson "Practice? Man, we talkin' 'bout practice"


Oh! and number ten: Herm Edwards "YOU PLAY TO WIN THE GAME!"
 
2012-10-30 04:16:13 PM  

KingKauff: KingKauff: rickythepenguin: Di Atribe: Me too. Sports rants are some of my favorite things & that was one of the very greatest.


Sports Rant Power Rankings
1. Lee Elia's, "wrigley field is a playground for assholes, 99% of the world is out there working for a living and there's 5,000 assholes with nothing better to do than sit in the bleachers....don't rip those guys [the team], rip my farkin' ass!" (keep in mind, this rant was like, 20 games into the season. you wold think he just lost a game 7 of the WS)

2. Tommy LaSorda, "what do I farkin' think of farkin' kurt farkin' bevacqua? farkin' guy couldn't hit farking water if he fell outta farkin' boat, what kind of farking question is that?"

3. Denny Green

4. Jim Mora, Playoffs

6. Rick Pitino "larrry bird AINT" WALKIN THRU THAT DOOR! ROBER PARISH AIN'T WALKIN THROUG THAT DOOR!"

7. Mike Gundy "IM MAN I'M 40! IF YOU HAVE A CHILD, WHO IS FAAAT!"

8. bobby knight, "i'm sick and farking tired of a farkin 8-10 record in this godamn conference!"

9.

Alan Iverson "Practice? Man, we talkin' 'bout practice"

Oh! and number ten: Herm Edwards "YOU PLAY TO WIN THE GAME!"


No John Chaney threatening to kick people's asses?
 
2012-10-30 04:16:22 PM  

KingKauff: Alan Iverson "Practice? Man, we talkin' 'bout practice"



i was thinking of coach meltdowns. but yeah, AI's is great.

seriously the Lee Elia and Tommy LaSordas, those are waaaaaaaaaaaay better than Denny Green. Denny Green's was a 10 second meltdown with an iconic tagline. Elia and LaSorda are like, 4 and 2 minutes long of literally, never ending "farks" and anger. they make Denny Green sound like Dr. Phil by comparison.
 
2012-10-30 04:16:26 PM  

rickythepenguin: Di Atribe: I want to say that it's because we really just don't have many late afternoon games. They're either noon or a night game. I'll look it up later for a comparison. I have to *spit* do other things like *hork* work right now. Ew.

blocked, but i'll hceck later.


Adolf Oliver Nipples: I loved the bumblebee uniforms, too, though I found myself singing "No Rain" all afternoon. Then it rained. Go figure.

i may or may not have started a song parody titled "No Rape" that was going no where which I may or may not have abandoned, assuming i in fact started sucha a parody WHICH YOU CAN'T PROVE.

/all i can say is that my life is pretty plain
I like to go in bars and just rape.
all i can do is block the door with my shoe
and while the cops guard the door, i just rape.
raaaape.
raaaape.
it's a mistake....it's a mistaah, hay, hay, hake
to ray, hay, hay, hape.

rape.


DAMMIT RICKY! Now I've got Shannon's voice crooning in my head. I will say that it beats Phil's voice which was there earlier
 
2012-10-30 04:16:26 PM  

Adolf Oliver Nipples: Wait, haven't we established that the Power Rankings, besides being utter nonsense, is indicative of what is happening now and not of what happened earlier in the season?


That is absolutely the case 100% of the time, except when it isn't. ;)

I wish I could argue your point about Pittsburgh leading the division in the near future, but with the way we've looked over the past couple games it appears that you're right.

/Dammit.
 
2012-10-30 04:16:56 PM  
49'ers and NYG too high. Packers and Bears too low. Cowboys should be higher considering....but I'm a homer that knows they will go 8-8, if lucky.
 
2012-10-30 04:16:56 PM  

Robert1966: Week in, week out, this thread is always worth reading.


There are, like, six people doing their own thing now. It's like a postgame show, but with any value whatsoever.
 
2012-10-30 04:16:59 PM  

KingKauff: KingKauff: rickythepenguin: Di Atribe: Me too. Sports rants are some of my favorite things & that was one of the very greatest.


Sports Rant Power Rankings
1. Lee Elia's, "wrigley field is a playground for assholes, 99% of the world is out there working for a living and there's 5,000 assholes with nothing better to do than sit in the bleachers....don't rip those guys [the team], rip my farkin' ass!" (keep in mind, this rant was like, 20 games into the season. you wold think he just lost a game 7 of the WS)

2. Tommy LaSorda, "what do I farkin' think of farkin' kurt farkin' bevacqua? farkin' guy couldn't hit farking water if he fell outta farkin' boat, what kind of farking question is that?"

3. Denny Green

4. Jim Mora, Playoffs

6. Rick Pitino "larrry bird AINT" WALKIN THRU THAT DOOR! ROBER PARISH AIN'T WALKIN THROUG THAT DOOR!"

7. Mike Gundy "IM MAN I'M 40! IF YOU HAVE A CHILD, WHO IS FAAAT!"

8. bobby knight, "i'm sick and farking tired of a farkin 8-10 record in this godamn conference!"

9.

Alan Iverson "Practice? Man, we talkin' 'bout practice"

Oh! and number ten: Herm Edwards "YOU PLAY TO WIN THE GAME!"


What about Brett Myers? Boom, outta here!
 
2012-10-30 04:17:24 PM  

rickythepenguin: Di Atribe: Me too. Sports rants are some of my favorite things & that was one of the very greatest.


Sports Rant Power Rankings


Wasn't there a legendary rant by a Cubs manager (or is that #1 on your list)? Also, almost anything Ozzie Guillen has ever said to a live microphone belongs on that list.
 
2012-10-30 04:17:33 PM  
Word is that a major hollywood studio is picking up the rights to that last Cowboys game, calling it the best drama they've seen since Citizen Kane. A preliminary script is out.

The 2nd Jake

OPENING SCENE
3PM. Dallas/Fort Worth time. The Cowboys Cheerleaders are looking smokin', the pole-dancers in the stadium are doing their thing. Fans are noshing down on $12 cheesesteaks and pounding ice cold $8 beers. There's blonde hair and big boobs for 100 square miles. It's one of the biggest games of the season for the 'Boys. Cowboys fans are very nearly showing emotion. TONY ROMO (played by Paul Rudd) is throwin' some warm up passes and just running through the route tree with JASON WITTEN (played by Chris Pratt). Jerry Jones (CGI, voice of Skeletor) is introducing a crowd of 44 Japanese Businessmen to his private suite and offering them the opportunity to purchase DWAYNE HARRIS (also CGI, just use model for Jar-Jar Binks) for a fat pile of cash. JASON GARRETT (played by the Howdy Doody Puppet) suddenly appears and throws a second ball to JASON WITTEN at the same time as TONY ROMO. He jabs TONY ROMO with a finger in the ribs as JASON WITTEN simultaneously catches both balls and stacks them on top of each other while standing on one foot. "SWEET GEORGIA BROWN" plays.

JASON GARRETT: The process is nearly compete. Are you ready to process? We're going to totally football these OPPONENTS with our PROCESS! I hope you're prepared.
TONY ROMO: Yeah, I'm ready. Let's take it to these guys.
JASON GARRETT: Process confirmed. Commence playing hand-egg. BEEP.
TONY ROMO: Did you just say "BEEP"?
JASON GARRETT: NEGATIVE.

The Game starts. ELI MANNING (played by Topher Grace) throws a JUMP BALL to a nameless receiver. It bounces off two Cowboys players, a hot dog stand, the end-zone pylon and the roof before being corralled for a 54 yard gain. The Giants kick a field goal. It is good. The Cowboys receive the kick and TONY ROMO trots out onto the field. JASON GARRETT's voice crackles into Tony Romo's helmet.

JASON GARRETT: PASS. PASS PASS PASS PASS PASS.

TONY ROMO throws several passes. MILES AUSTIN (played by Multi-Platinum Rap Star "Drake") catches one for 23 yards.

JASON GARRETT: Pass to Bryant, drag route.
TONY ROMO: Hell no. Last time I threw anything more complicated than a straight line to Dez somebody stepped on my face on the way to the end-zone.
JASON GARRETT: Trust me. He'll come through.

Tony Romo throws a Drag Route to DEZ BRYANT (played by Taye Diggs). DEZ BRYANT runs a combination of a GO ROUTE and THE DOUGIE. The ball is INTERCEPTED. TONY ROMO and DEZ BRYANT walk to the sideline.

TONY ROMO: I'm not even mad. I'm sure as hell not surprised. What the fark (if this is PG replace "fark" with "laserbeam") were you thinking?!
DEZ BRYANT: I UNNO MAN I SO CRUNK RIGHT NOW @TONYROMO.

THE GIANTS take over in the Red Zone. The Dallas Cowboys defense HOLDS them to a field goal. You don't have to even show this part. Nobody cares about defensive players. The Cowboys receive the kickoff.

JASON GARRETT: Run?!
TONY ROMO: Wait, seriously?! Jesus Christ it's a miracle. (If this is PG replace "JESUS CHRIST" with "CUPCAKE PARTY")

The Cowboys gain 5 yards on two consecutive runs. The run is SUPER EFFECTIVE.

JASON GARRETT: LET'S GO DEEP! MILES AUSTIN TOUCHDOWN WOOOOe0111000!

TONY ROMO throws a DEEP BALL to MILES AUSTIN. MILES AUSTIN gracefully pirouettes and then FALLS DOWN. The pass is INTERCEPTED. TONY ROMO walks back to the bench and sits down. ROB RYAN (played by Jeff Bridges) sits down next to TONY ROMO.

ROB RYAN: Was worth a shot. Didn't work out but that happens sometimes.
TONY ROMO: Thanks for the encouragement, Rob. It's rare that anyone says anything to me but, "I hate you." You know, it really feels good to get some credit...
TONY ROMO is interrupted when ROB RYAN leans back to reveal a SNACK VENDOR holding a pen and pad.
ROB RYAN: Sorry about that Tony, I was talking to Roberto here. He just checked to see if I could get a jar of mayonnaise to eat during TV timeouts. Turns out they don't sell mayonnaise here. Not even Crisco. Who would have guessed? What were you saying?
TONY ROMO: Nothing.

A single tear falls down TONY ROMO's cheek. THE GIANTS score a Touchdown. TONY ROMO takes the field. TONY ROMO checks down to FELIX JONES (played by Dave Chappelle) but JASON PIERRE-PAUL (played by Donald Glover) activates his INSPECTOR GADGET ARMS and INTERCEPTS the ball and then runs it in for 6 POINTS. JERRY JONES's voice comes through on TONY ROMO'S HELMET

JERRY JONES: Uhh, Tony. Listen. I've got 30 large riding on this game with Mr. Hakimoto. Do me a favor and try to win this one. Oh by the way sorry about the sun in your eyes. I just thought it would look cool if part of our field was constantly bombarded with blinding lights. Really gives it a sparkle. Thanks a lot champ.

FAST FORWARD to HALFTIME. The Cowboys score twice but it's NOT IMPORTANT. The team is assembled in the locker room. FELIX JONES is quietly rubbing his gloves with WD-40. JASON GARRETT is delivering an INSPIRING SPEECH.

JASON GARRETT: It is imperative to the PROCESS that you play more efficiently. We will be playing efficiently to PROCESS. Speak the words "EFFICIENT" while doing simultaneous digit contact when we all reach the number three.

Video montage shows TONY ROMO taking the lead by passing EVERYTHING to JASON WITTEN, set to the "PERFECT STRANGERS" theme song. Cut to comical shot of Jason Garrett blowing a fuse at first, but then doing the ROBOT. Fade to black on the line "Nothing's Gonna Stop Me Now". Fade in to TONY ROMO taking the field down 2 points. TONY ROMO completes his BAZZILIONTH pass.

JASON GARRETT: Run!
TONY ROMO: NOW YOU WANT TO RUN!? I JUST TOOK US FROM 23 POINTS DOWN BY THROWING MY GODDAMN (if this is PG replace "goddamn" with "MAN, THIS IS GOOD FLAN") arm off. Fine, we're running.

FELIX JONES runs 2 yards and then the ball pops out like an OCTOMOM BABY. THE GIANTS recover. ELI MANNING completes a 5 yard pass on 3rd and 8 and settles for a field goal. Camera cuts to JON GRUDEN (played by Jeff Daniels) in his hotel room.

JON GRUDEN: OH MY GOD THAT WAS THE BEST PERFORMANCE I'VE EVER SEEN THIS GUY IS JUST THE BEST.
JON GRUDEN covers the inside of his pants with Gruden Juice (TM). Camera pans to TV to reveal that JON GRUDEN was watching a commercial for JIF PEANUT BUTTER. TONY ROMO returns to the field and leads an 80 yard drive to the Giants 19 yard line for 2nd and 1.

JASON GARRETT: PASS PASS PASS PASS PASS PASS PASS PASS PASS
TONY ROMO: It's 2nd and 1!
JASON GARRETT: PASS PASS PASS PASS PASS.

TONY ROMO throws 2 passes that hit his receivers in the hands, one for a first down and one for the game-winning Touchdown. Both are dropped. 4TH down.

JASON GARRETT: PA-
TONY ROMO: Yes, I get it, PASS PASS PASS PASS PASS. Fine, here it goes.

TONY ROMO takes the snap and is immediately rushed by 3 GIANTS defenders who run through the offensive line like they're PATRICK SWAYZE IN GHOST OR PATRICK SWAYZE CURRENTLY. TONY ROMO tries to avoid three defenders but realizes he isn't SPIDERMAN and just throws it to JASON WITTEN. The pass is INTERCEPTED. The crowd is somehow SURPRISED.

TONY ROMO: GOD. farkING. DAMMIT. (if this is PG, replace this with "YO GABBA GABBA")

The Cowboys defense miraculously holds. TONY ROMO stumbles back to the offensive huddle.

DEZ BRYANT: COME ON TONY, I WILL PAY YOU BACK I SWEAR, JUST GIVE ME ANOTHER WEEK TO GET A PAYCHECK AND I'LL PAY OFF THE DEBT @TONYROMO
TONY ROMO: What the FROGNOZZLE (this doesn't need to be replaced) are you talking about?!
DEZ BRYANT: @TONYROMO just throw me the ball I'll catch it, I promise.
JASON WITTEN: WHEEZE WHEEZE WHEEZE
TONY ROMO: Ok, but you better catch it. I swear to god if I throw it into the end zone and you run a farking (replace this with "FIZZbiatch" or "PHALANX") curl route on the 15 yard line I will eviscerate you with a hot knife in the parking lot and sell your intestines to your mother.

TONY ROMO throws a laser touchdown pass to DEZ BRYANT. The play is UP FOR REVIEW.

OFFICIAL: "Upon further review, Dez Bryant still sucks. Call overturned."

The Cowboys Lose. ELI MANNING and TONY ROMO meet in the middle of the field for the post game handshake.

TONY ROMO: Good game. We'll see you next year and we're going to actually win.
ELI MANNING: U R MY FAVRIT BABYSITTER UNCLE TONY!

"Tears of a Clown" plays over the final breakdown of the characters. DEZ BRYANT goes on to be a successful tire salesman in Oklahoma. MILES AUSTIN's ACL explodes in the locker room and he DIES. JASON WITTEN enters the hall of fame and retires a wealthy man. JERRY JONES lives to be 135 years old. ELI MANNING is somehow a 2-time HALL OF FAME inductee and gives TONY ROMO a job at his chain of PUDDING STORE assisting COOPER MANNING (played by Tagg Romney). TONY ROMO later hangs himself in the bathroom.
 
2012-10-30 04:18:11 PM  

rickythepenguin: KingKauff: Alan Iverson "Practice? Man, we talkin' 'bout practice"


i was thinking of coach meltdowns. but yeah, AI's is great.


Next time be more specific

seumasokelly: No John Chaney threatening to kick people's asses?


oh, man, I completely forgot about that one
 
2012-10-30 04:18:14 PM  

KingKauff: Oh! and number ten: Herm Edwards "YOU PLAY TO WIN THE GAME!"



oh my god how could i forget!!!!1

PUTCHA NAME ON IT!
DON'T BE THE GUY THAT SAYS *mimics writing on a pad with pencil* 'sources in teh locker room told me' BE A MAN, AND PUTCHA NAME ON IT! BECAUSE YOU WADN'T IN THE LOCKER ROOM. PUTCHA NAME ON IT!
 
2012-10-30 04:20:08 PM  

KingKauff: KingKauff: rickythepenguin: Di Atribe: Me too. Sports rants are some of my favorite things & that was one of the very greatest.


Sports Rant Power Rankings
1. Lee Elia's, "wrigley field is a playground for assholes, 99% of the world is out there working for a living and there's 5,000 assholes with nothing better to do than sit in the bleachers....don't rip those guys [the team], rip my farkin' ass!" (keep in mind, this rant was like, 20 games into the season. you wold think he just lost a game 7 of the WS)

2. Tommy LaSorda, "what do I farkin' think of farkin' kurt farkin' bevacqua? farkin' guy couldn't hit farking water if he fell outta farkin' boat, what kind of farking question is that?"

3. Denny Green

4. Jim Mora, Playoffs

6. Rick Pitino "larrry bird AINT" WALKIN THRU THAT DOOR! ROBER PARISH AIN'T WALKIN THROUG THAT DOOR!"

7. Mike Gundy "IM MAN I'M 40! IF YOU HAVE A CHILD, WHO IS FAAAT!"

8. bobby knight, "i'm sick and farking tired of a farkin 8-10 record in this godamn conference!"

9.

Alan Iverson "Practice? Man, we talkin' 'bout practice"

Oh! and number ten: Herm Edwards "YOU PLAY TO WIN THE GAME!"


Wasn't there also one from Ditka? Hm.... trying to think of them all....

"Practice" is my favorite. That might be because I saw it fairly quickly after it happened (thanks, fark) and I immediately loved it. It's like your first puppy, you know?

We ain't even talkin 'bout a game. We talkin 'bout practice.
 
2012-10-30 04:22:17 PM  

rickythepenguin: KingKauff: Oh! and number ten: Herm Edwards "YOU PLAY TO WIN THE GAME!"


oh my god how could i forget!!!!1

PUTCHA NAME ON IT!
DON'T BE THE GUY THAT SAYS *mimics writing on a pad with pencil* 'sources in teh locker room told me' BE A MAN, AND PUTCHA NAME ON IT! BECAUSE YOU WADN'T IN THE LOCKER ROOM. PUTCHA NAME ON IT!


I only remember it because Sunday on ESPN they mentioned in a promo for NFL countdown that it was ten years ago. Then I began to laugh remembering going into work the next day and me and a buddy found ways to use that line in every conversation.

me: hey (redacted), why you using those materials for project x instead of these?
him: because when you are working on a project, you WORK TO WIN IT!

or something like that. we used the "practice" bit all the time. that was much easier:

him: you get those reports produced and bound?
me: production? Man, we talkin' 'bout PRODUCTION!
 
2012-10-30 04:22:43 PM  

Adolf Oliver Nipples: What about Brett Myers? Boom, outta here!



What bugs me about that is he says "go home". But with his country ass accent and wad of tobacky, it sounds like "boom".

so it is good but in fact, he says "g'home, outta here".

Dr Dreidel: Wasn't there a legendary rant by a Cubs manager (or is that #1 on your list)? Also, almost anything Ozzie Guillen has ever said to a live microphone belongs on that list.


yeah, that's Lee Elia circa 1983 i think.
 
2012-10-30 04:22:46 PM  
My favorite has got to be either, "I'm a man! I'm 40!" or Jim Mora's soprano performance of "Playoffs?!?! I just want to win a game!".

I think there was on where Hal McRae actually hit a reporter with a telephone.
 
2012-10-30 04:23:28 PM  
You will now read the rest of this thread in Allen Iversons "practice" rampage
 
2012-10-30 04:24:23 PM  
Am I the only one who thinks the Falcons will again be one and done in the playoffs?
 
2012-10-30 04:24:36 PM  
 
2012-10-30 04:25:20 PM  

Why Would I Read the Article: Am I the only one who thinks the Falcons will again be one and done in the playoffs?


It's the playoffs, man. You never know. It's a single-elimination game.
 
2012-10-30 04:25:21 PM  

seumasokelly: I think there was on where Hal McRae actually hit a reporter with a telephone.



i thought of that one but that one was left off because the first rule of rants is they have to be entertaining. Hal McRae was about to engage in violence.

see also Bobby Bonilla's "I'l show you the Bronx!" locker room incident.

or.....I think Tony LaRussa and.....damn who was that Reds pitcher where they started fighitng in the locker room?
 
2012-10-30 04:26:32 PM  

IAmRight: Jubeebee: The Bears have plenty of problems, primarily inconsistency.

This, and the fact that the Seahawks just beat the Bears (last year? two years ago?) in Chicago is the reason that I think that one is winnable for the Seahawks (the other two are winnable because Miami and Buffalo (in Toronto, even)). And the rest are at home.

Primed for a second-half run!


The Trollhawks certainly could make a run in the second half. I'd give you guys a better shot than MIN, who stand a decent chance at going 1-7 over the next 8.

The CHI-SEA game will be one to look forward to. Cutler does get rattled by pressure, which SEA can bring, and when he does he is prone to interceptions, which your secondary has a propensity for. On the other hand, Chicago has Forte, Hester, and a defense that is scoring more TDs than some offenses. It's a long way off, but it'll be interesting to see which sides of both teams we see.
 
2012-10-30 04:26:59 PM  

rickythepenguin: seumasokelly: I think there was on where Hal McRae actually hit a reporter with a telephone.


i thought of that one but that one was left off because the first rule of rants is they have to be entertaining. Hal McRae was about to engage in violence.

see also Bobby Bonilla's "I'l show you the Bronx!" locker room incident.

or.....I think Tony LaRussa and.....damn who was that Reds pitcher where they started fighitng in the locker room?


McRae link

Do you mean the Lou Piniella/Rob Dibble wrestling match? "You want to be treated like a man?!?! Act like a man!!"

/There's also Ryan Leaf's "KNOCK IT OFF!!"
 
2012-10-30 04:29:07 PM  

Treygreen13: Why Would I Read the Article: Am I the only one who thinks the Falcons will again be one and done in the playoffs?

It's the playoffs, man. You never know. It's a single-elimination game.


Only certainty about playoffs after 2000 or so is that if the Cowboys or Redskins make it, they will be one and done.
 
2012-10-30 04:29:08 PM  
Here they go, getting my hopes up after I'd written them off, only to go back on the road to dash my dreams again. The steelers I mean. Boy, would a win at NY be big... but I wouldn't bet a gumball on it. These guys do not seem to be road warriors this year. At all.
 
2012-10-30 04:31:05 PM  

seumasokelly: Do you mean the Lou Piniella/Rob Dibble wrestling match? "You want to be treated like a man?!?! Act like a man!!"



that's right....got my "Italian managers on teams that wear red" mixed up.

i knew it was dibble. i almost said, "the guy who co-hosted a show with dan patrick on espn years ago".
 
2012-10-30 04:35:12 PM  

Di Atribe: Wasn't there also one from Ditka? Hm.... trying to think of them all....



i remember Saints-era Ditka getting really testy with the media, answering every qustion with either "next question!"* or "what do you care?" but no rants per se that i can think of.


*why hello there, guy who used to be TO's agent. "Next question" DREW ROSENHAUS thats his name
 
2012-10-30 04:35:57 PM  

Treygreen13: Word is that a major hollywood studio is picking up the rights to that last Cowboys game, calling it the best drama they've seen since Citizen Kane. A preliminary script is out.


Holy phalanx-balls that was funny
 
2012-10-30 04:36:59 PM  

Treygreen13: Word is that a major hollywood studio is picking up the rights to that last Cowboys game, calling it the best drama they've seen since Citizen Kane. A preliminary script is out.

The 2nd Jake


Ok, this needs a few things. First, Dez should be called 'stone hands'. Second, we need a play by play announcer who can paint the story in such a fashion as to be memorable.

i.ytimg.com
 
2012-10-30 04:37:18 PM  
No Eric Winston, "We are not gladiators, and this is not the Roman Colosseum?" I can laugh about it now, but at the time he looked like he wanted to kill somebody. Out of the ones that you listed, I'm partial to Mike Gundy and Jim Mora.

Also, you heard it here first:

KANSAS CITY IS GOING TO BE A HUGE FACTOR THIS SEASON

www.sportsgeekery.com
media.kansascity.com
i28.photobucket.com

...IN SHATTERING 72-YEAR-OLD RECORDS FOR FUTILITY 

Rough times.
 
2012-10-30 04:39:39 PM  

Incorrigible Astronaut: No Eric Winston, "We are not gladiators, and this is not the Roman Colosseum?" I can laugh about it now, but at the time he looked like he wanted to kill somebody. Out of the ones that you listed, I'm partial to Mike Gundy and Jim Mora.

Also, you heard it here first:

KANSAS CITY IS GOING TO BE A HUGE FACTOR THIS SEASON

[www.sportsgeekery.com image 512x409]
[media.kansascity.com image 525x342]
[i28.photobucket.com image 452x341]

...IN SHATTERING 72-YEAR-OLD RECORDS FOR FUTILITY 

Rough times.


What an odd jersey choice for that Jamaal Charles pic. I mean, I know it's their throwback but to anyone who doesn't know that you'd think he played for some imaginary team.
 
2012-10-30 04:39:52 PM  

Why Would I Read the Article: Am I the only one who thinks the Falcons will again be one and done in the playoffs?


I think it depends entirely on who they draw. If it's a defense-first team like the Bears or 49ers, yeah, I think you're in trouble, but other than that? Eh. They look better now than they did in the 13-3 season. I'd be optimistic.
 
2012-10-30 04:41:15 PM  

Treygreen13: Word is that a major hollywood studio is picking up the rights to that last Cowboys game, calling it the best drama they've seen since Citizen Kane. A preliminary script is out.
[snip]
TONY ROMO later hangs himself in the bathroom.


Sweet merciful Jesus. 

You win, Trey. You win everything.
 
2012-10-30 04:42:13 PM  

Jubeebee: Treygreen13: Word is that a major hollywood studio is picking up the rights to that last Cowboys game, calling it the best drama they've seen since Citizen Kane. A preliminary script is out.
[snip]
TONY ROMO later hangs himself in the bathroom.


Sweet merciful Jesus. 

You win, Trey. You win everything.


I figured that would be more entertaining than spending my whole day writing out pre-emptive Tony Romo apologist arguments.
 
2012-10-30 04:43:39 PM  

KingKauff: or something like that. we used the "practice" bit all the time. that was much easier:

him: you get those reports produced and bound?
me: production? Man, we talkin' 'bout PRODUCTION!


I think that's one of the reasons I love that one so much. It's easy to wedge into a conversation unexpectedly.

"I'm a man, I'm 40" is a close second (especially since I'm neither of those things).
 
2012-10-30 04:43:57 PM  

Harv72b: while Arizona managed just 7 yards on the ground in 9 attempts.


This is kinda weird. The Niners' PR comment says this is the fewest since 1972. Considering how football was played in the early 70s, it seems odd that any team would ever get less than 7 yards running in a game back then.

/I'm seriously shocked it's not the record for fewest running yards allowed in a game.
 
2012-10-30 04:44:03 PM  

Treygreen13: Incorrigible Astronaut: No Eric Winston, "We are not gladiators, and this is not the Roman Colosseum?" I can laugh about it now, but at the time he looked like he wanted to kill somebody. Out of the ones that you listed, I'm partial to Mike Gundy and Jim Mora.

Also, you heard it here first:

KANSAS CITY IS GOING TO BE A HUGE FACTOR THIS SEASON

[www.sportsgeekery.com image 512x409]
[media.kansascity.com image 525x342]
[i28.photobucket.com image 452x341]

...IN SHATTERING 72-YEAR-OLD RECORDS FOR FUTILITY 

Rough times.

What an odd jersey choice for that Jamaal Charles pic. I mean, I know it's their throwback but to anyone who doesn't know that you'd think he played for some imaginary team.


Agreed. I can't think of any other throwbacks- NFL or otherwise- that highlight a completely different state/city in the logo than the one the team resides in. It's odd.
 
2012-10-30 04:46:57 PM  

Incorrigible Astronaut: Treygreen13: Incorrigible Astronaut: No Eric Winston, "We are not gladiators, and this is not the Roman Colosseum?" I can laugh about it now, but at the time he looked like he wanted to kill somebody. Out of the ones that you listed, I'm partial to Mike Gundy and Jim Mora.

Also, you heard it here first:

KANSAS CITY IS GOING TO BE A HUGE FACTOR THIS SEASON

[www.sportsgeekery.com image 512x409]
[media.kansascity.com image 525x342]
[i28.photobucket.com image 452x341]

...IN SHATTERING 72-YEAR-OLD RECORDS FOR FUTILITY 

Rough times.

What an odd jersey choice for that Jamaal Charles pic. I mean, I know it's their throwback but to anyone who doesn't know that you'd think he played for some imaginary team.

Agreed. I can't think of any other throwbacks- NFL or otherwise- that highlight a completely different state/city in the logo than the one the team resides in. It's odd.


Well... technically...
cdn.bleacherreport.net
 
2012-10-30 04:47:07 PM  

Nadie_AZ: Ok, this needs a few things. First, Dez should be called 'stone hands'. Second, we need a play by play announcer who can paint the story in such a fashion as to be memorable.


Sorry, but Dale (son of Yogi) Berra has copyright on the name "Stone Hands" from his years as the Pittsburgh Pirates starting shortstop..
 
2012-10-30 04:49:03 PM  

bulldg4life: Worst 7-0 team in NFL history!

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee


no love for the 10-0 undefeated 2008 Tennessee Titans?
 
2012-10-30 04:49:11 PM  

Treygreen13: Incorrigible Astronaut: Treygreen13: Incorrigible Astronaut: No Eric Winston, "We are not gladiators, and this is not the Roman Colosseum?" I can laugh about it now, but at the time he looked like he wanted to kill somebody. Out of the ones that you listed, I'm partial to Mike Gundy and Jim Mora.

Also, you heard it here first:

KANSAS CITY IS GOING TO BE A HUGE FACTOR THIS SEASON

[www.sportsgeekery.com image 512x409]
[media.kansascity.com image 525x342]
[i28.photobucket.com image 452x341]

...IN SHATTERING 72-YEAR-OLD RECORDS FOR FUTILITY 

Rough times.

What an odd jersey choice for that Jamaal Charles pic. I mean, I know it's their throwback but to anyone who doesn't know that you'd think he played for some imaginary team.

Agreed. I can't think of any other throwbacks- NFL or otherwise- that highlight a completely different state/city in the logo than the one the team resides in. It's odd.

Well... technically...
[cdn.bleacherreport.net image 350x238]


Ha, duh :-P
 
2012-10-30 04:50:15 PM  

JohnBigBootay: Here they go, getting my hopes up after I'd written them off, only to go back on the road to dash my dreams again.


Now you're sounding like a Seattle fan! Except too often Seattle teams don't even bother getting your hopes up.
 
2012-10-30 04:51:40 PM  

Neeek: /I'm seriously shocked it's not the record for fewest running yards allowed in a game.



and whisenhunt kept saying "we missed too many tackles". uhh.......you need to put poitns on the board, Ken.

ugh. what a nightmare season. no QB, no line, no RB. and we have drafted those positions so awfully.

i wonder if there will be a trade. chatter about Vick coming here but that's dumb. yeah, because we can protect so well.
 
2012-10-30 04:56:16 PM  
Broncos need to be ahead of the Ravens, but otherwise an okay list.
 
2012-10-30 04:56:56 PM  

rickythepenguin: Neeek: /I'm seriously shocked it's not the record for fewest running yards allowed in a game.


and whisenhunt kept saying "we missed too many tackles". uhh.......you need to put poitns on the board, Ken.

ugh. what a nightmare season. no QB, no line, no RB. and we have drafted those positions so awfully.

i wonder if there will be a trade. chatter about Vick coming here but that's dumb. yeah, because we can protect so well.


So you'd trade a few sacks for more interceptions and fumbles? Yeah, no. If he were anywhere near as reliable as Jake Plummer was, I might think it a good idea.
 
2012-10-30 04:58:07 PM  

rickythepenguin: Neeek: /I'm seriously shocked it's not the record for fewest running yards allowed in a game.


and whisenhunt kept saying "we missed too many tackles". uhh.......you need to put poitns on the board, Ken.

ugh. what a nightmare season. no QB, no line, no RB. and we have drafted those positions so awfully.

i wonder if there will be a trade. chatter about Vick coming here but that's dumb. yeah, because we can protect so well.


But your trades with Philly have been going so well...
 
2012-10-30 04:59:12 PM  
Oh, almost forgot. Answers for "NAME THAT PLAYER".

QBs
1. Offensive Pass Interference on the QB - Robert Griffin III
2. Season Completion Percentage - Alex Smith (69.4%)
3. Best home QB Rating - Russell Wilson (116.9)

WRs
1. Passes Not Caught - Larry Fitzgerald (40)
2. Yards Per Reception - Josh Gordon (22.29 yards/reception)
3. Receptions and YAC - Percy Harvin (60 Receptions, 537 YAC)

Teams
1. Lowest Total Receptions - Cleveland Browns (11 Completions)
2. 400+ yards for 7 games - New Orleans Saints
3. Lowest Sack Total - Jacksonville Jaguars (6)
 
2012-10-30 04:59:21 PM  

BKITU: TOO DAMN HIGH

It's where the Chargers are.


I can't wait till Norv and AJ are shown the door.
 
2012-10-30 05:04:19 PM  

Treygreen13: Jubeebee: Treygreen13: Word is that a major hollywood studio is picking up the rights to that last Cowboys game, calling it the best drama they've seen since Citizen Kane. A preliminary script is out.
[snip]
TONY ROMO later hangs himself in the bathroom.


Sweet merciful Jesus. 

You win, Trey. You win everything.

I figured that would be more entertaining than spending my whole day writing out pre-emptive Tony Romo apologist arguments.


At this rate, you may as well go for mini-series.

I'd try that with my team, but sans coach and rocking a lovely seven-game sieve streak, it ain't selling.
 
2012-10-30 05:04:19 PM  
Iggles are deep into doom and Foles could be our savior against the Breesus. With Reid still at helm?

Win or lose, someone's getting fired.
 
2012-10-30 05:05:08 PM  

riverwalk barfly: 49'ers and NYG too high. Packers and Bears too low. Cowboys should be higher considering....but I'm a homer that knows they will go 8-8, if lucky.


Did you watch these games on Sunday? Both had tough outings against bottom-3 teams.

I think the Bears are where they should be (offensive is mediocre, can't stop the pass [other than when we take it away], beasts against the run), and I can't argue Green Bay's position either. They are good, but they've still lost 3, and are ranked 12th - 26th in the major categories (run/pass/run def/pass def).
 
2012-10-30 05:08:13 PM  

rickythepenguin: Di Atribe: I want to say that it's because we really just don't have many late afternoon games. They're either noon or a night game. I'll look it up later for a comparison. I have to *spit* do other things like *hork* work right now. Ew.

blocked, but i'll hceck later.


Adolf Oliver Nipples: I loved the bumblebee uniforms, too, though I found myself singing "No Rain" all afternoon. Then it rained. Go figure.

i may or may not have started a song parody titled "No Rape" that was going no where which I may or may not have abandoned, assuming i in fact started sucha a parody WHICH YOU CAN'T PROVE.

/all i can say is that my life is pretty plain
I like to go in bars and just rape.
all i can do is block the door with my shoe
and while the cops guard the door, i just rape.
raaaape.
raaaape.
it's a mistake....it's a mistaah, hay, hay, hake
to ray, hay, hay, hape.

rape.


assets.nydailynews.com
I just want someone to bend me oh-oh-over.
I always over compensate, yeah.
Ya know I'll probably keep my cheeks dry today
but I really wanna really gonna get laid.
 
2012-10-30 05:10:41 PM  
And where's the Jake so I can see Di watch her boytoy win the honor of failure...again.
 
2012-10-30 05:11:21 PM  

Incorrigible Astronaut: But your trades with Philly have been going so well...



i have the threads from as i recall March / April / July 2011 with me fervently arguing against the trade, bookmarked.

granted DRC isn't exactly tearing it up in Philly but the overlooked in the trade, was aside from DRC, we gave Philly this year's #2 pick. gee, i'm sure Arizona won't miss that in April, with needs at RB, OL, and QB, right?


Congratulations Whiz, you'll burn the #1 pick (probably 11 - 14 overall) on ANOTHER QB, signalling the end of either Skelton or Kolb's tenure, we have no #2 pick, and then table scraps in rounds 3 and 4.
 
2012-10-30 05:17:23 PM  

IAmRight: Now you're sounding like a Seattle fan! Except too often Seattle teams don't even bother getting your hopes up.


You know, I am reminded that at the beginning of the season I said I'll believe Carroll is better than a .500 coach when he wins more than half his games.. And here they are at 4-4. Still though, I believe there is reason to have hope for the future in Seattle. I like Wilson - if that defense stays solid they could yet make some big noise. Problem is it's the wrong year to be looking for a wild card in the NFC with anything near .500 and SF does not look like they'll be relinquishing the West any time real soon.
 
2012-10-30 05:19:22 PM  

rickythepenguin: Incorrigible Astronaut: But your trades with Philly have been going so well...


i have the threads from as i recall March / April / July 2011 with me fervently arguing against the trade, bookmarked.

granted DRC isn't exactly tearing it up in Philly but the overlooked in the trade, was aside from DRC, we gave Philly this year's #2 pick. gee, i'm sure Arizona won't miss that in April, with needs at RB, OL, and QB, right?


Congratulations Whiz, you'll burn the #1 pick (probably 11 - 14 overall) on ANOTHER QB, signalling the end of either Skelton or Kolb's tenure, we have no #2 pick, and then table scraps in rounds 3 and 4.


Well, if you had an O-line, Skelton would be a good starter. It'd even help your RBs to go further than the hand off. That is where I would start.

Whiz's biggest mistake was getting his team to the Super Bowl and almost winning it. Cardinal fans now expect it.
 
2012-10-30 05:19:46 PM  

Di Atribe: Treygreen13: ***snip***


Not to offend any other Farkers, but I am amused by the Jaguars' dead cat bounce.
 
2012-10-30 05:21:15 PM  
Chicago > Carolina = W
San Diego > Cleveland = L
Detroit UPSETS Seattle = W
Green Bay > Jacksonville = W
Indianapolis > Tennessee = W
New England > St Louis = W
Miami > New Jersey B = W
Philadelphia UPSETS Atlanta = L
Washington > Pittsburgh = L
Kansas City > Oakland = L
New Jersey A > Dallas = W
Denver > New Orleans = W
Minnesota > Tampa Bay = L
San Fran > Arizona = W

I knew Atlanta would win, but I thought the bye week magic and maybe desperation on the Eagles would fuel a victory. Guess now. 9-5 ain't so bad!
 
2012-10-30 05:22:46 PM  

Nadie_AZ: Well, if you had an O-line, Skelton would be a good starter. It'd even help your RBs to go further than the hand off. That is where I would start.


If they had an O-line, one of their QBs might be able to go a season without missing half the games. Skelton making it out of last night's game without an injury is fairly impressive, all things considered.
 
2012-10-30 05:27:01 PM  

JohnBigBootay: You know, I am reminded that at the beginning of the season I said I'll believe Carroll is better than a .500 coach when he wins more than half his games.. And here they are at 4-4. Still though, I believe there is reason to have hope for the future in Seattle.


In fairness, 10 QBs passed for 4,000+ yards last year. The Seahawks have played 5 of them (of course, they're 0-3 against anyone that hasn't, but, uh...yeah). They've gotten through Wilson's worst games (hopefully) and they've played 5 of their games on the road. Barring significant injuries, they're an ideal candidate to "improve" in the second half of the season, even if they don't actually get better.

Going from Rodgers, Brady, Stafford, Newton, Romo, home Cards, home Smith, home Bradford
to Ponder, Tannehill/Moore, road Skelton, road Bradford, road Smith, Fitzpatrick, Cutler, Sanchez? Oh hell yeah. They're going to look better without even trying.

/and they'll get Thurmond III back, meaning maybe Trufant goes and becomes a dime player
//and most people thought 4-4 at this point would be amazing at the beginning of the season
 
2012-10-30 05:27:30 PM  

Nadie_AZ: Well, if you had an O-line, Skelton would be a good starter. It'd even help your RBs to go further than the hand off. That is where I would start.



we have to be one of the most injured teams in the NFL (not as an excuse, just a fact). we lost the blindside tackle (levi brown) in preseason, which directly forced us to go go to Batiste, who was a UFA then bounced between like, 5 teams in 6 years. there's a reason for that.

THEN, whatever you think of Beanie Wells, he's not played at all I don't think and is out until about week 12 or so. we lost the RB that was I think #2 two years ago (the patriots fumble guy). Skelton went down in what, week 2, and then Kolb came in. then he got KTFO.

todd heap hasn't played since that 15-yd penalty in NE (which I can't STFU about). Peterson missed I think 1 game.

just problems everywhere.
 
2012-10-30 05:29:13 PM  

Wadded Beef: Broncos need to be ahead of the Ravens, but otherwise an okay list.


They play on December 16th. Give it time. ^_^
 
2012-10-30 05:33:38 PM  

roc6783: Not to offend any other Farkers, but I am amused by the Jaguars' dead cat bounce.


Our love for our bun-bun will last forever, but...... dead cat bounce. Yeah. *snicker*


eddievercetti: And where's the Jake so I can see Di watch her boytoy win the honor of failure...again.


SHUT UP, EDDIE
 
2012-10-30 05:34:35 PM  

Di Atribe: KingKauff: or something like that. we used the "practice" bit all the time. that was much easier:

him: you get those reports produced and bound?
me: production? Man, we talkin' 'bout PRODUCTION!

I think that's one of the reasons I love that one so much. It's easy to wedge into a conversation unexpectedly.

"I'm a man, I'm 40" is a close second (especially since I'm neither of those things).


Had to look this one up, but I love This ain't intramurals, brother!
 
2012-10-30 05:35:42 PM  

IAmRight: //and most people thought 4-4 at this point would be amazing at the beginning of the season


I don't think that's a bad start at all given the schedule. Of course I'd have had it unfolding in an entirely different way. If you'd have told me they'd be 4-4 right now I'd have bet my left nut they did not beat Green bay or New England and they beat them both.
 
2012-10-30 05:35:55 PM  

Di Atribe: eddievercetti: And where's the Jake so I can see Di watch her boytoy win the honor of failure...again.

SHUT UP, EDDIE


You know I wuv ya.
 
2012-10-30 05:37:43 PM  

Di Atribe: KingKauff: or something like that. we used the "practice" bit all the time. that was much easier:

him: you get those reports produced and bound?
me: production? Man, we talkin' 'bout PRODUCTION!

I think that's one of the reasons I love that one so much. It's easy to wedge into a conversation unexpectedly.

"I'm a man, I'm 40" is a close second (especially since I'm neither of those things).


One of my favorite things to come out of the Mike Gundy rant is on the Jim Rome show. (Yes, I know. I'll stop liking things you don't like eventually.)

It's subtle, but anytime someone says the word "fat", you hear a clip of Gundy saying "FAT!" a half-second later in the background. Same with Hulk Hogan and "brother".
 
2012-10-30 05:38:15 PM  
10:1 the seahawks pick up TO this week
 
2012-10-30 05:39:08 PM  

fireside68: Treygreen13: Jubeebee: Treygreen13: Word is that a major hollywood studio is picking up the rights to that last Cowboys game, calling it the best drama they've seen since Citizen Kane. A preliminary script is out.
[snip]
TONY ROMO later hangs himself in the bathroom.


Sweet merciful Jesus. 

You win, Trey. You win everything.

I figured that would be more entertaining than spending my whole day writing out pre-emptive Tony Romo apologist arguments.

At this rate, you may as well go for mini-series.

I'd try that with my team, but sans coach and rocking a lovely seven-game sieve streak, it ain't selling.


There aren't many teams with the collection of personalities from top to bottom like the Cowboys that can make something like that work. Maybe the Raiders during Zombie Al's tenure, but to really do it justice you'd need a Raiders fan to write it, and we all know Raiders fans can't write.

I would be doubly pleased if this somehow became an ongoing narrative about the Cowboys season though.
 
2012-10-30 05:43:01 PM  

roc6783: Had to look this one up, but I love This ain't intramurals, brother!



i heard i think last week some college coach had a fark bomb tirade (whyoming or south dakota or some shiat) but I haven't heard it.

"intramurals" is really good though.

Hockey has some good ones. when i was a jim rome fan he'd play quite afew. there was one of some coach criticnzing players who whine about getting touched and not being able to get their goals, and he goes, "we got a bunch of whiny ffffffffff -- babies that cry about not being able to get their goals...."

he is so close to "whiny farking babies" but he gets stuck on that "f" sound. hilarious.
 
2012-10-30 05:45:12 PM  

Treygreen13: 3. Lowest Sack Total - Jacksonville Jaguars (6)


That's amazing, since they even got to play the Bears.

/looks at box score; sees half of season sacks came against CHI.
//FFFUUUUUUUUU
 
2012-10-30 05:46:54 PM  

Captain Steroid: Wadded Beef: Broncos need to be ahead of the Ravens, but otherwise an okay list.

They play on December 16th. Give it time. ^_^


Right on. A few weeks back I was chalking it up as a road loss but after Baltimore's injuries and Flacco coming down to earth...I'm optimistic about PFM and the Orange Crush.
 
2012-10-30 05:48:42 PM  

Gonz: Di Atribe: KingKauff: ***snip***
One of my favorite things to come out of the Mike Gundy rant is on the Jim Rome show. (Yes, I know. I'll stop liking things you don't like eventually.)

It's subtle, but anytime someone says the word "fat", you hear a clip of Gundy saying "FAT!" a half-second later in the background. Same with Hulk Hogan and "brother".


Not a rant exactly, but definitely the best moment in the history of the Jim Rome show - Chris.
 
2012-10-30 05:51:02 PM  
WHAR JAKE WHAR?

/Just wanted to be the first idiot to post it
 
2012-10-30 05:56:28 PM  

roc6783: Not a rant exactly, but definitely the best moment in the history of the Jim Rome show - Chris.


ESPN Classic used to air (hell, they still might) old "rome on espn" shows from about the time of the Jim Evberett incident. I saw one with Rick Barry, circa probably 94, 95, and Rome starts the interview by taking pokes at the BIll Cosby sweater Barry is wearing, and Rick, taken aback, makes a quip like, "i didn't know I had to dress 'mod' on your show" and then Rome starts teasing about using the word 'mod'.

very dicky. but hey, that's rome.
 
2012-10-30 05:59:46 PM  

IAmRight: We only lost two positions? Dammit, I was kinda hoping to be dropped further in order to cement us as roller-coaster team of the year.

Wilson continues to improve and the main problem with the team is that, while we're the best in the league at forcing third-and-long, we're the sh*ttiest at defending third-and-long. I actually root for opposing teams to gain yardage on first and second downs because we're better at stopping them if they're at 3rd and 2 than we are if they're at 3rd and 10 (or at least it feels that way).


I heard that on the radio this morning. And while I found it hard to believe, the numbers are what they are.
 
2012-10-30 06:03:06 PM  

Adolf Oliver Nipples: WHAR JAKE WHAR?

/Just wanted to be the first idiot to post it


I think rob might be having storm-related problems or something. I want to say it was mentioned in the MNF thread last night.
 
2012-10-30 06:07:18 PM  

rickythepenguin: roc6783: ***snip***
very dicky. but hey, that's rome.


He isn't on in Milwaukee anymore, but one day on my way to lunch, I flipped on his show to hear a rant about adults bringing gloves to baseball games. I had missed what set off the rant, but he was in the middle of his usual build up schtick about, "You in your car, with your hat on backwards, going 20 over the speed limit, or sitting in your office with your perfectly pressed collar and cuff links...". He went through a 2 or 3 minute build up and ended with something like, "I don't care how awesome you are or think you are, but if you are over the age of 12, and you bring a glove to a baseball game, you sir...are a loser."

Since I had no clue what he was talking about, the ending completely caught me by surprise and I laughed for way longer than I should have. I have spent a few minutes over the years trying, but have never been able to find the audio of that bit. It was just perfect.
 
2012-10-30 06:09:59 PM  

IAmRight: This, and the fact that the Seahawks just beat the Bears (last year? two years ago?) in Chicago is the reason that I think that one is winnable for the Seahawks


The Bears kicked the ever-living tar out of the Seahawks in the playoffs two years ago. Last year the Seahawks beat the Bears when Cutler and Forte were both injured, which doesn't mean all that much since everyone else did too except the tanking Vikes in the finale.
 
2012-10-30 06:10:43 PM  
Trey green is en fuego. That is all
 
2012-10-30 06:15:39 PM  
Last week the Packers had a pretty easy win against the Rams and the Ravens got slaughtered by the Texans and they put the Packers behind the Ravens. This week the Packers have a poor game against a horrible Jacksonville team, missing its one decent offensive player, and Baltimore is on bye, and NOW they put the Packers ahead of the Ravens? I mean, I would probably have done it a week ago since Baltimore hasn't been playing all that well and lost two important defensive guys, but if you had the Packers behind the Ravens going into this week, it just seems bizarre to switch them after that stinkbomb of a performance from the Packers.

And yeah, I know they were missing Jennings and Nelson. They still shouldn't have had that much trouble with the Jags.
 
2012-10-30 06:46:18 PM  

KingKauff: 8. bobby knight, "i'm sick and farking tired of a farkin 8-10 record in this godamn conference!"

9.


I'm not sure sure that is one of his best rants. I think one of his best rants was something like, that is a stupid farking question not get the frak out of MY press conference until to can ask a real question. (different report asks another dumb question). That farking it! We were farking done done here. As he is leaving you hear something that sound s like I'm tired of these farking idiots.

I want to say this happened in the early 80's or late 70's. I was at IU Bloomington during those times.
 
2012-10-30 06:47:13 PM  

roc6783: Had to look this one up, but I love This ain't intramurals, brother!


That was awesome & I found it highly enjoyable.


eddievercetti: You know I wuv ya.


You betta
 
2012-10-30 06:59:38 PM  

Treygreen13: Teams
1. Lowest Total Receptions - Cleveland Browns (11 Completions)


I was sure that was the Giants. They had less than Witten too.
 
2012-10-30 07:01:55 PM  

Di Atribe: Treygreen13: Word is that a major hollywood studio is picking up the rights to that last Cowboys game, calling it the best drama they've seen since Citizen Kane. A preliminary script is out.

Holy phalanx-balls that was funny


I'd add Spike Lee as Kevin Ogletree.
 
2012-10-30 07:05:45 PM  

muck4doo: I was sure that was the Giants. They had less than Witten too.


Several teams had fewer receptions than Jason Witten. The Browns were just the fail-hardest.
 
2012-10-30 07:13:08 PM  
Vikings are still too high. I'd be ecstatic with an 8-8 finish this year. Schedule is getting brutal.
 
2012-10-30 07:45:15 PM  
Ordinarily since were 1/2way thru the season Id start posting TGTBSS. But im thumb-typing in complete f'ing darkness so... fark that.
Di Atribe, the #s youse got is all youre getting, so PRINT IT BABY!
PS: we were messin with you, you never had a chance
 
2012-10-30 08:05:42 PM  
Crap. I forgot that robsul82 lives in Jersey.

Hope he's okay... >_>
 
2012-10-30 08:17:14 PM  

roc6783: Di Atribe: KingKauff: or something like that. we used the "practice" bit all the time. that was much easier:

him: you get those reports produced and bound?
me: production? Man, we talkin' 'bout PRODUCTION!

I think that's one of the reasons I love that one so much. It's easy to wedge into a conversation unexpectedly.

"I'm a man, I'm 40" is a close second (especially since I'm neither of those things).

Had to look this one up, but I love This ain't intramurals, brother!


That gets a bonus for having a link to the Pirate's "Fat Little Girlfreinds" rant along with it. That's one of my favs.
 
2012-10-30 08:23:11 PM  

Captain Steroid: Crap. I forgot that robsul82 lives in Jersey.

Hope he's okay... >_>


I'll give him a pass on the Jake this week, since I'd bet he has bigger issues to deal with.
 
2012-10-30 08:32:57 PM  
Still no Jake? I hope the guy's all right.

Anyway, my thoughts on the division:

The Ravens are too damn low... at least by one. Seriously, how does Green Bay jump them for beating the Jagwaggers? With all due respect to Fark's JAX fan, that's like bumping them up for the fact the Packers' plane didn't crash and kill everyone aboard.

I want to say the Steelers are too damn high, but looking at the next few teams down, I don't see anyone who really deserves to be above them. Then again, I'm not seeing anyone who really deserves to be below them either. As much parity as there is in the NFL this year, they almost need to go by Tour de France rules and count everyone in the peloton as tied.

And the Bengals and Browns are just about right. Of course, that may change depending on how badly they each get pulverized next week.
 
2012-10-30 08:36:54 PM  

Captain Steroid: Crap. I forgot that robsul82 lives in Jersey.

Hope he's okay... >_>


I'm not expecting to see his Jake post until at least the Thursday football thread.
 
2012-10-30 08:49:54 PM  
Are the Bills that bad that they Loose A Spot On A Bye Week?
 
2012-10-30 08:52:19 PM  
Take a trip down memory lane, as we fondly recall the first time Romo won The Jake in 2012.
 
2012-10-30 09:02:39 PM  

rickythepenguin: Sports Rant Power Rankings.......

2012-10-30 04:11:29 PM



Top 10 Press Conference Coaching Rants

Written by Matt Yoder on Tuesday, 30 October 2012 17:10.


huh. 

i didn't know today was the 10yr anniversary but, given how that Yardbarker is no stranger to Sports tab.....interesting. And that I kept my list to coaching rants, not including AI and Dibble, etc.
 
2012-10-30 09:15:57 PM  

rickythepenguin: Treygreen13: It's not like the Cowboys are 1-6. They're 3-4. Plenty of season left.


true but your boys don't pass the eyeball test. now, that was an amazing comeback but......no.

the East is very intriguing. NYG is i think markedly overerated, the Eagles are being coached into a sub .500 season (andy, what the fark? why are you riding out vick? cliche approaching, but does Vick have "incirminating" photos of you? it is just bizarre how you are dead set on riding Vick out this year), and Dallas and Wash are just......i don't know.

Wash is interesting schedulewise. 5 of their final 8 are against the East: 2 vs Eagles, 2 vs Dallas, 1 vs NYG.

I wonder if Wash somehow catches fire to steal the East. I"m only saying that based upon how moribund the entire division is, including NYG. NYG has the luck of the irish it seems. gthey have no business being 6-2.


And they had no business winning the super bowl last year, or crushing San Fran this year at San Fran or winning the super bowl 4 years ago, or winning in the playoffs both super bowl years at Green Bay...and on and on and on. At some point it isn't about luck, it's about winning. They know how to do it. As for your wonder about Washington....even if Washington goes 6-2 and the Giants go 4-4, the Giants win the division.
 
2012-10-30 09:26:08 PM  
The "Skins" defense had an answer for no one........ Yep. It took until the last series of the second quarter where Pittsburgh did not get points...... Not gonna win redskins....... Not like that
 
2012-10-30 09:32:06 PM  

YonderScott: At some point it isn't about luck, it's about winning.



make no mistake, i don't hate the giants. fair play to them for doing what they've done. i'm just not sold on them. luck gets you pretty far but it runs out eventually.

david tyree doesn't make the helmet catch in i think triple coverage, no super bowl 1 for Eli, what's his nuts doesn't get a shaky (at best) "gave himself up, no fumble" ruling vs. arizona last year circa week 4, you arguably don't make the playoffs, dez bryant's fingers aren't what, 2 inches inside (if that) the endzone, you lose.....but those things happened.

fair play to NYG. i don't care.
 
2012-10-30 09:37:18 PM  
Friends,

We are gathered here today to celebrate a remarkable achievement. That we are, while at the same time solemnly reflecting on a horrible disaster. Millions, including this intrepid chronicle of abject failure, are without power. Many feet of water have submerged a boardwalk teeming with memories of happy carnival days and gloriously STD-ridden nights. There have even been many deaths attributed to this terrible storm, and that's certainly nothing to joke about. But while we stay at rapt attention watching coverage of one hurricane, this induction ceremony seeks to examine the hurricane that rages within the very gunslinging soul of this week's winner.

Indeed, there seems to be an unholy struggle taking place at all times within Antonio Ramiro Buongiorno Thesituationo Romo. Will he be a turnover-prone clown this week? Maybe, if the better angels of his nature don't win out. Can his QB rating be as high during all four quarters as it has been in the 4th quarter since 2009? Perhaps, if the personal demons that lead him to turn his blasted baseball cap around backwards don't emerge victorious.

So it has been throughout his unlikely path to the NFL, from Eastern Illinois University to the bright lights of Big D.

So it was in Week 8.

Of course, other events in the past week's slate of games had an impact here - natch, the week prior as well. The tarnish on last week's trophy was almost too much to bear as The "Winner" Who Shall Not Be Named somehow conquered the field with a pathetic 33.3, and prior to his game kicking off, it seemed as if such a tragedy might once more befall this award. The leaderboard was once again deadlocked with several names intertwined at only a pair of turnovers apiece. The discussion thread was filled with worry that there would once more be a winner without distinction. Without honor. Without any of the similar adjectives that also describe The Bad Day.

*tear*

But I digress.

Looking ahead at games yet to be played, we knew we had some hope for the future. John Skelton was going on Monday night. Cutler and Newton were slugging it out on the field, but both somehow fell short, with the Best in the World frustratingly just adding his name to the gridlock. "Hey, there's always Carson Palmer and Brady Quinn squaring off," we figured, "one of them are bound to take the solo lead." As uncertainty reigned, however, a cowboy took the field and took everyone's breath away...

...with peals of laughter, with gasps of disbelief, with howls of incredulousness as our hero quickly tucked us all in and provided the warm glass of milk that is a 3-interception first quarter. So warm and snuggly in our Delhomme dreams that we began hoping against hope that maybe, just maybe, this quarterback might just succeed where another had so recently failed.

And then that damn devil had to come out to play.

That nasty, evil demon that so malevolently whispered in his ear, "But don't you want to actually win the game?"

It was as if a spigot had suddenly been turned off. The riverbank, at once dry and barren. Suddenly, the Tony that wanted to make his own fans happy had emerged, and he started showing off what can happen when he actually aims his passes at his own receivers. A 23-0 Giants lead in the early second quarter had been transformed into a 24-23 Dallas advantage as the 4th quarter commenced. True, the Giants retook the lead quickly thereafter, but it was cool. Tony was at work and the Cowboys had cruised down the field straight into the New York red zone.

Without warning, the struggle started anew. Passes started missing their targets. A short incompletion into the dirt on 2nd down. An overthrown deep ball on 3rd. All of a sudden, 4th down had struck, 63 seconds was left on the clock, and the two sides of Tony were wrestling for gridiron glory.

As the ball was softly cradled to the sternum of a Giant defender and a second 2012 Jake victory virtually assured, Antonio strutted to the sideline, took a sip of Gatorade, and flipped around an imaginary baseball cap. "Job well done," he told himself. "That whiny pussy Tony may complain, but I - three and out? Oh, fanculo!"

The war within was reborn. 60 yards of Texas grass was trampled underfoot as the march downfield started over. A beautiful bomb was launched at the back of the endzone and, shocker of ALL shockers, Dez Bryant had actually caught it! The Cowboys had completed the comeback! Tony had settled the storm inside himself and had won the day!

Sadly, while Tony and Antonio are at perpetual war in the same body, in Dez Bryant's there is no such strife. There is only...Dez.

Having one last throw at hand, the battle began one final time. There were more stupid faces being made underneath that helmet than can be seen at a Rivers family reunion. The ball was snapped, he faded back into the pocket, and his arm was flung forward.

With the ball still sailing between the uprights, Antonio smirked and started readying his acceptance speech. Somewhere deep inside, sweet Tony had once more learned a vital lesson that never quite seems to take, a lesson first spoken by a man who knows that killing him won't bring back your Goddamned honey.

Never go to war. Especially with yourself.

For throwing 4 interceptions while keeping the outcome in the game firmly in the doubt, for finally surrendering to making everyone but his own fans laugh and cheer, for giving us a winning performance with which we could all be happy, I am proud to present The Jake for Week 8 of the 2012 NFL season to Tony Romo of the Dallas Cowboys.

i63.photobucket.com

Tony, any words?

www1.pictures.zimbio.com

"Tony's not in right now. May I take a message? MWAHAHAHAHA!"

Should've known.


/written via rapidly-dying iPod
//don't say I've never done anything for you, lol
 
2012-10-30 09:43:53 PM  
Nicely done, robsul82. I love the angle.
 
2012-10-30 09:50:23 PM  
Why's the Mexican side gotta be the side that attempts to suck?
 
2012-10-30 09:50:54 PM  

PaulieattheTap: Are the Bills that bad that they Loose A Spot On A Bye Week?


I know the Chargers did it this year, so yes.
 
2012-10-30 09:55:32 PM  
Hilarious robsul. Good luck with getting power.
 
2012-10-30 10:08:02 PM  
Good heavens, Rob. You are a champion among men.

*mascara stained tear*
 
2012-10-30 10:08:38 PM  
Yeah, I sure wish I'd gotten more than a day's worth of gas for the generator, lol, and driving anywhere's not a option, so.

Save_Me.iPd
 
2012-10-30 10:13:27 PM  
Good job rob!
I'm happy to see you wouldn't let superstorms and darkness prevent you from delivering unto us our weekly Jake.
 
2012-10-30 10:15:00 PM  
between the jake and the grafs and the trivia and the 2nd jake and computer rankings and the predictions and whatever the hell else pops up each week, this thread delivers

/my only contribution is my gratitude
 
2012-10-30 10:37:56 PM  

robsul82: "Tony's not in right now. May I take a message? MWAHAHAHAHA!"

Should've known.

/written via rapidly-dying iPod
//don't say I've never done anything for you, lol


Awesome work, once again.

Good luck with the, uh, storm thing, too. Obviously. I was hoping to see the Jake on Thurs or next weekend, so thanks for delivering during such circumstances!
 
2012-10-30 10:39:40 PM  
Bravo Robsul and Tony! :)
 
2012-10-30 10:41:23 PM  

davidphogan: robsul82: "Tony's not in right now. May I take a message? MWAHAHAHAHA!"

Should've known.

/written via rapidly-dying iPod
//don't say I've never done anything for you, lol

Awesome work, once again.

Good luck with the, uh, storm thing, too. Obviously. I was hoping to see the Jake on Thurs or next weekend, so thanks for delivering during such circumstances!


Indeed. And here I was thinking I was having a hard night trying to choose who to vote for the winner of SYFY Face Off.

/Voted Nicole
 
2012-10-30 10:42:17 PM  
Posting such a nice Jake write-up when you don't even have power? You're a trooper, rob. Hopefully things will be back up and running over there within the next couple days.
 
2012-10-30 10:55:50 PM  
Nice one Rob. Hang in there.
 
2012-10-30 11:31:53 PM  
robsul82:Friends...

Good to know you're safe and... sound? >_>'

Good to know you're safe, bro. America salute you!

i1182.photobucket.com

... and so does Derpy. :P
 
Oak
2012-10-30 11:38:04 PM  
I just came in here to contribute two words: Earl Weaver.
 
2012-10-30 11:39:53 PM  
Great job, rob. You're a trooper for thinking of us and delivering your brand of comedy gold.
 
2012-10-31 12:04:28 AM  

rickythepenguin: roc6783: Not a rant exactly, but definitely the best moment in the history of the Jim Rome show - Chris.

ESPN Classic used to air (hell, they still might) old "rome on espn" shows from about the time of the Jim Evberett incident. I saw one with Rick Barry, circa probably 94, 95, and Rome starts the interview by taking pokes at the BIll Cosby sweater Barry is wearing, and Rick, taken aback, makes a quip like, "i didn't know I had to dress 'mod' on your show" and then Rome starts teasing about using the word 'mod'.

very dicky. but hey, that's rome.


To his credit(slightly) Rome appeared to learn from the Jim Everett incident. I didn't watch any of his shows all that much, but after Everett floored him, I never saw him act so prickly to anyone's face when they came on his show.
 
2012-10-31 12:07:11 AM  

Treygreen13: Word is that a major hollywood studio is picking up the rights to that last Cowboys game, calling it the best drama they've seen since Citizen Kane. A preliminary script is out.


I missed the game, except the last 4 minutes, thanks for the recap! Very funny!
 
2012-10-31 12:22:05 AM  
Glad you are alive Rob. Great job as always!
 
2012-10-31 12:27:38 AM  

robsul82: //don't say I've never done anything for you, lol


Nobody ever would. Hope you (and others) get power back soon.
 
2012-10-31 01:50:04 AM  
For some reason I felt BETTER about Dallas after their loss to NY. I totally gave up on Romo in the first half but the defense played well and Romo at least showed he still had something left in him talent wise. Witten also looks to be back to his HOF status. I don't expect Dallas to make the playoffs but they have a shot and I think Romo gets another year and one more chance. I still think Garrett needs to go, I can't stand the bonehead errors in game management. He's not even that good of an offensive coordinator.
 
2012-10-31 02:40:31 AM  

rickythepenguin: david tyree doesn't make the helmet catch in i think triple coverage, no super bowl 1 for Eli, what's his nuts doesn't get a shaky (at best) "gave himself up, no fumble" ruling vs. arizona last year circa week 4, you arguably don't make the playoffs, dez bryant's fingers aren't what, 2 inches inside (if that) the endzone, you lose.....but those things happened.

fair play to NYG. i don't care.


This is such a dumb farking way to look at things.

If Tyree doesn't make that catch do the Giants lose? Sure. But if someone else had made a play or two they didn't earlier in the game, the Giants might have won anyway. And if the Pats had a ball bounce a different way they might have lost by even more.

The entire game didn't hinge on that one play. Many other things could have happened to allow the Giants to win by the same score, or lose, or win by more. Ditto Bryant's fingers.

-

To put it another way, plug any successful team in here and we can do the same thing. Every Pats super bowl victory was by less than a TD, right? (I'm too lazy to look up), so in each game they could EASILY have lost if one play had gone a different way.

But the Pats DID win 3 super bowls and, more than that, they won all the playoff games they had to to get to those super bowls, and they had to win a lot of regular season games to get in as well.

Since Eli took over full time, the giants have NEVER had a losing season. They've won one of the best divisions in football 3 times, made the playoffs 5 times, won 8 playoff games and two super bowls.

That's beyond "luck"
 
2012-10-31 02:49:41 AM  

rickythepenguin: I wonder if Wash somehow catches fire to steal the East. I"m only saying that based upon how moribund the entire division is, including NYG. NYG has the luck of the irish it seems. gthey have no business being 6-2.


haha, how so?

The Giants played a very close game against the Cowboys they lost but could have won, and they lose to the Eagles on a last second missed field goal! The team could be 8-0. I'm not saying they deserve to be (that's a stupid way to look at things), but even if the Giants got lucky against the Cowboys, they were unlucky against the Eagles.

Also, their 26-3 thrubbing of the Niners might be the most impressive win any team has had so far this year.
 
2012-10-31 02:53:51 AM  

TheJoe03: For some reason I felt BETTER about Dallas after their loss to NY. I totally gave up on Romo in the first half but the defense played well and Romo at least showed he still had something left in him talent wise. Witten also looks to be back to his HOF status. I don't expect Dallas to make the playoffs but they have a shot and I think Romo gets another year and one more chance. I still think Garrett needs to go, I can't stand the bonehead errors in game management. He's not even that good of an offensive coordinator.


Garrett will be done. It's the idiot GM Jones though who is to blame for thinking Head coach is a learn on the job type of thing. I'm tired of seeing this team's talent go to waste.
 
2012-10-31 03:25:36 AM  

muck4doo: Garrett will be done. It's the idiot GM Jones


Ah, our two biggest problems. Romo is a distant third compared to coach Garrett and GM Jones.
 
2012-10-31 06:54:48 AM  
There were more stupid faces being made underneath that helmet than can be seen at a Rivers family reunion.
lol
 
2012-10-31 11:09:02 AM  

Gonz: One of my favorite things to come out of the Mike Gundy rant is on the Jim Rome show. (Yes, I know. I'll stop liking things you don't like eventually.)

It's subtle, but anytime someone says the word "fat", you hear a clip of Gundy saying "FAT!" a half-second later in the background. Same with Hulk Hogan and "brother".


Ha, yea I agree. Another one of my favorites when whenever someone says "Ryan" he will say: "Its not Ryan, its Ryne".

/boom, outta here.
 
2012-10-31 11:34:14 AM  

robsul82: Sadly, while Tony and Antonio are at perpetual war in the same body, in Dez Bryant's there is no such strife. There is only...Dez.


Ain't it the damn truth.

/posted from Garden State Plaza, because in New Jersey, we make sure the important locations, like the mall, get their power back ASAP
 
2012-10-31 12:02:46 PM  
Teams hitting their highest rank this week: Raiders, Dolphins, Browns, & Colts

Woo hoo!
 
2012-10-31 03:55:00 PM  

rickythepenguin: Sports Rant Power Rankings
1. Lee Elia's, "wrigley field is a playground for assholes, 99% of the world is out there working for a living and there's 5,000 assholes with nothing better to do than sit in the bleachers....don't rip those guys [the team], rip my farkin' ass!" (keep in mind, this rant was like, 20 games into the season. you wold think he just lost a game 7 of the WS)

2. Tommy LaSorda, "what do I farkin' think of farkin' kurt farkin' bevacqua? farkin' guy couldn't hit farking water if he fell outta farkin' boat, what kind of farking question is that?"

3. Denny Green

4. Jim Mora, Playoffs

6. Rick Pitino "larrry bird AINT" WALKIN THRU THAT DOOR! ROBER PARISH AIN'T WALKIN THROUG THAT DOOR!"

7. Mike Gundy "IM MAN I'M 40! IF YOU HAVE A CHILD, WHO IS FAAAT!"

8. bobby knight, "i'm sick and farking tired of a farkin 8-10 record in this godamn conference!"

9.



Kevin Borseth, coach of Michigan's women's B-ball team at the time, had a fantastic one.

Also: John L Smith's halftime "these guys are playing their asses off and the coaches are screwing it up!" when he was at Michigan State.
 
2012-10-31 04:04:42 PM  

TheJoe03: muck4doo: Garrett will be done. It's the idiot GM Jones

Ah, our two biggest problems. Romo is a distant third compared to coach Garrett and GM Jones.


Maybe if Garrett wasn't playing OC & HC at the same time. Maybe if JJ wasn't playing owner & GM. Do they really need to skimp on positions here? I thought the Cowboys had more money than [insert deity of your choice here, not that money would even matter to a deity, but that's a discussion for another time].


keypusher: Teams hitting their highest rank this week: Raiders, Dolphins, Browns, & Colts

Woo hoo!


The fish are really swimmin, eh?


RminusQ: /posted from Garden State Plaza, because in New Jersey, we make sure the important locations, like the mall, get their power back ASAP


The mall is an important social gathering place, sir.

And I fully intend to get to your graph soon. I don't really have a good excuse. I've been busy at work. A hurricane of work, if you will.


/you probably won't
 
2012-10-31 04:22:57 PM  

RminusQ: robsul82: Sadly, while Tony and Antonio are at perpetual war in the same body, in Dez Bryant's there is no such strife. There is only...Dez.

Ain't it the damn truth.

/posted from Garden State Plaza, because in New Jersey, we make sure the important locations, like the mall, get their power back ASAP


LOL, I'm sure the malls and diners all have their lights burning as we speak.

/yes on hot water and the Internet, still no on power and heat
//yay to friends who lend you their iPod chargers!
 
2012-10-31 04:36:39 PM  

Di Atribe: TheJoe03: muck4doo: ***snip***
Maybe if Garrett wasn't playing OC & HC at the same time. ***snip***


I have always wonder if Mike McCarthy is going to fire himself for his inability to make offensive adjustments during the course of a game.

Also, WHAR GRAF 2, WHAR?!?!?!?!?
 
2012-10-31 05:51:41 PM  

roc6783: Also, WHAR GRAF 2, WHAR?!?!?!?!?


OH YEAH! Let's see if I can whip this bad boy up right fast.
 
2012-10-31 06:19:16 PM  

I had to actually do the math for the Cards & Niners since SOMEONE* was just too INCONVENIENCED** to do it himself. So it took a little longer than it normally would've. But the important part to remember here is that all graphs are now accounted for.

i.imgur.com



Link to bigger


*RminusQ
**Taking a direct hit from a vicious post-hurricane superstorm, the likes of which our modern world has never seen, but hey, it's Jersey, let's go get some pasta and call it a day, whaddya say, aaaaaaaaaaaay......
 
2012-10-31 09:38:38 PM  
Reid keeping Vick on starting lineup? YOUSONOFAWHORE.
 
2012-10-31 11:04:43 PM  

eddievercetti: Reid keeping Vick on starting lineup? YOUSONOFAWHORE.


Not sure if appropriate to laugh or not.....
 
2012-10-31 11:42:20 PM  

Di Atribe: eddievercetti: Reid keeping Vick on starting lineup? YOUSONOFAWHORE.

Not sure if appropriate to laugh or not.....


Laugh at the Eagles, weep for their fans.
 
2012-11-01 11:47:18 AM  

Di Atribe: I had to actually do the math for the Cards & Niners since SOMEONE* was just too INCONVENIENCED** to do it himself. So it took a little longer than it normally would've. But the important part to remember here is that all graphs are now accounted for.

[i.imgur.com image 850x588]

Link to bigger


*RminusQ
**Taking a direct hit from a vicious post-hurricane superstorm, the likes of which our modern world has never seen, but hey, it's Jersey, let's go get some pasta and call it a day, whaddya say, aaaaaaaaaaaay......


Stupid "high-flying" Falcons, you're at 1.0, but let's see you get to the top line of the graph -- 1.2!
 
2012-11-01 03:39:06 PM  

Di Atribe: **Taking a direct hit from a vicious post-hurricane superstorm, the likes of which our modern world has never seen, but hey, it's Jersey, let's go get some pasta and call it a day, whaddya say, aaaaaaaaaaaay......


I can't tell whether I hate you so much I love you or love you so much I hate you.

/was fully expecting you to just run with the numbers pre-MNF
//your dedication to The Cause will not be overlooked
 
2012-11-01 04:16:09 PM  

RminusQ: I can't tell whether I hate you so much I love you or love you so much I hate you.


It's vicious love/hate circle. Once you accept this, your inner turmoil will be at peace OOOOOHHHHHMMMMM


RminusQ: /was fully expecting you to just run with the numbers pre-MNF


I can't post incomplete data. That is unconscionable. You can't just go halfsies on SOV.


RminusQ: //your dedication to The Cause will not be overlooked


Are you gonna send me some pizza pie, aaaaaaaaaaay!?
 
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