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(TC Palm)   If cops pull you over, handing them three NicoDerm patches instead of your license, registration and proof of insurance probably won't distract them from noticing your fly is open and the front of your pants are wet   (blogs.tcpalm.com) divider line 37
    More: Florida, Palm City, proof of insurance, Nicoderm, Germans, Lake Worth, Miller High Life, Hobe Sound, Lance Burge  
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6869 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Oct 2012 at 2:19 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



37 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2012-10-30 02:22:31 PM
Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!

Germans?

Forget it; he's rolling.
 
2012-10-30 02:23:39 PM
Wait. The Mercedes guy was trying to hit the Mazda guy? So the Mazda guy starting whipping shiaties?

/scratches head
 
2012-10-30 02:25:35 PM
Zee Germans? (NSFW language)
 
2012-10-30 02:26:18 PM
So then wtf should I do, smart guy?
 
2012-10-30 02:28:27 PM
CQ CQ CQ DE NICODERM NICODERM NICODERM
 
2012-10-30 02:30:40 PM
What's his Fark handle?
 
2012-10-30 02:31:11 PM
"NicoDerm CQ patches are designed to help with smoking cessation, and are not to be confused with a driver's license, registration and proof of insurance."


img.wonderhowto.com
 
2012-10-30 02:31:37 PM
The storm was in his pants?
 
2012-10-30 02:34:15 PM
FTFA: A 16 ounce can of Miller High Life was between the passenger seat and console.

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-10-30 02:35:13 PM
Jewish people problems
 
2012-10-30 02:37:44 PM

blatz514: Wait. The Mercedes guy was trying to hit the Mazda guy? So the Mazda guy starting whipping shiaties?

/scratches head


I am also incredibly confused as to what the Mazda had to do with this story.
 
2012-10-30 02:40:47 PM

ltdanman44: "NicoDerm CQ patches are designed to help with smoking cessation, and are not to be confused with a driver's license, registration and proof of insurance."


[img.wonderhowto.com image 375x523]


You left out:
"He then began yelling that the Germans were after us," the affidavit states. Burge was in a German vehicle -- a Mercedes -- but the Germans haven't been after Americans since World War II.
 
2012-10-30 02:42:36 PM

ltdanman44: "NicoDerm CQ patches are designed to help with smoking cessation, and are not to be confused with a driver's license, registration and proof of insurance."


[img.wonderhowto.com image 375x523]


Also:

Breath tests measured Burge's blood alcohol content at 0.227 and 0.212 -- more than twice the legal limit of 0.08.

I like that they feel the need to do the math for us...
 
2012-10-30 02:43:27 PM
I love this guy's blog. Fantastic stuff.

/Not kidding
 
2012-10-30 02:44:39 PM
Did he:
a. spill his beer on his pants?
b. masturbate?
c. both?

C
 
2012-10-30 02:46:09 PM

NightOwl2255: ltdanman44: "NicoDerm CQ patches are designed to help with smoking cessation, and are not to be confused with a driver's license, registration and proof of insurance."


[img.wonderhowto.com image 375x523]

You left out:
"He then began yelling that the Germans were after us," the affidavit states. Burge was in a German vehicle -- a Mercedes -- but the Germans haven't been after Americans since World War II.


I think the author's really going for the Romero Prize this year.

/Sort of like the Pulitzer Prize, but more obvious
 
2012-10-30 02:48:42 PM
APPLY DIRECTLY TO JUNK
APPLY DIRECTLY TO JUNK
APPLY DIRECTLY TO JUNK
 
2012-10-30 02:49:50 PM
Too many jokes in the article itself, they've done our job for us. I prefer reporters to be the stiffs we bounce off of.
 
2012-10-30 02:52:26 PM

Rufus Lee King: TheOther: Did he:
a. spill his beer on his pants?
b. masturbate?
c. both?

C

D. Trying to pee in an empty beer bottle while driving. Never works.


That's I carry a super shammy in my glove box. Just wrap it around the penis and letterip! That thing will absord up to 24 oz of fluid without the exterior even getting damp. When you're done just fling it out the window (or slap it wet-side down against the outside door panel if you want to dry it and reuse it)
 
2012-10-30 02:53:02 PM
GranoblasticMan ltdanman44: "NicoDerm CQ patches are designed to help with smoking cessation, and are not to be confused with a driver's license, registration and proof of insurance."

You left out:
"He then began yelling that the Germans were after us," the affidavit states. Burge was in a German vehicle -- a Mercedes -- but the Germans haven't been after Americans since World War II.

I think the author's really going for the Romero Prize this year.

/Sort of like the Pulitzer Prize, but more obvious


Nah, it's this guy's attempt at humor. All of his blog posts contain this kind of stuff- it's his schtick.
 
2012-10-30 02:54:55 PM

Rufus Lee King: hawcian: blatz514: Wait. The Mercedes guy was trying to hit the Mazda guy? So the Mazda guy starting whipping shiaties?

/scratches head

I am also incredibly confused as to what the Mazda had to do with this story.

The Japanese were after him, as well.


Not best Korea?
 
2012-10-30 02:56:05 PM
I think a Nicoderm patch is an acceptable form of ID in some Florida counties.
 
2012-10-30 02:58:49 PM

dothemath: I think a Nicoderm patch is an acceptable form of ID in some Florida counties.


what are you gonna actually use it for? quitting smoking? quit cold turkey. then you can quit without being totally gay about the effects of nicotine
 
2012-10-30 03:02:41 PM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Rufus Lee King: TheOther: Did he:
a. spill his beer on his pants?
b. masturbate?
c. both?

C

D. Trying to pee in an empty beer bottle while driving. Never works.

That's I carry a super shammy in my glove box. Just wrap it around the penis and letterip! That thing will absord up to 24 oz of fluid without the exterior even getting damp. When you're done just fling it out the window (or slap it wet-side down against the outside door panel if you want to dry it and reuse it)


That's why it's yellow?
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-10-30 03:11:33 PM
i assumed he just pissed his pants.
 
2012-10-30 03:12:58 PM

engrishmajor: /Sort of like the Pulitzer Prize, but more obvious

Nah, it's this guy's attempt at humor. All of his blog posts contain this kind of stuff- it's his schtic


Bravo Will Greenlee, Bravo... Seriously, he's obviously joking, and it's actually kinda funny really...

I could see Will Ferrell doing this in his Anchorman getup or the Daily Show/Colbert report using this same humor. It looks different written down, but with the right delivery, these jokes could be hilarious.
 
2012-10-30 03:34:49 PM
So the Germans have not been after us since WW2? I guess it's been long enough, I can end my vendetta.
 
2012-10-30 03:40:40 PM
Oh, Greenlee...let's see if he sticks in his usual "explain the obvious" shtick...

[reading...]

NicoDerm CQ patches are designed to help with smoking cessation, and are not to be confused with a driver's license, registration and proof of insurance.

And there we go.
 
2012-10-30 04:34:42 PM

GranoblasticMan: NightOwl2255: ltdanman44: "NicoDerm CQ patches are designed to help with smoking cessation, and are not to be confused with a driver's license, registration and proof of insurance."


[img.wonderhowto.com image 375x523]

You left out:
"He then began yelling that the Germans were after us," the affidavit states. Burge was in a German vehicle -- a Mercedes -- but the Germans haven't been after Americans since World War II.

I think the author's really going for the Romero Prize this year.

/Sort of like the Pulitzer Prize, but more obvious


This already won it for him:

The "naked white male wearing only a hat" was identified as 53-year-old David Allen Parlier.

"I noticed he had defecated on himself," a deputy wrote in Parlier's arrest affidavit.

A hat is a covering for the head that can be worn for decoration, protection, ceremonial or other reasons.

The affidavit did not state whether Parlier's hat was a beanie, baseball cap, fedora, sombrero, Stetson, Balmoral, top hat, boonie hat, cowboy hat, fez, beret, dunce cap, porkpie hat, ten gallon hat, skull cap, straw hat, sun hat, Panama hat, military helmet or another type of hat entirely.


/it's his schtick
 
2012-10-30 06:21:17 PM
If driving drunk while fapping, hitting innocent civilians and their vehicles, and cradling a open beer while hot shottting Nicoderm patches is wrong...

/well..you know the rest
 
2012-10-30 06:31:14 PM
FTFA: Burge was in a German vehicle -- a Mercedes -- but the Germans haven't been after Americans since World War II

Thanks for clearing that up.
 
2012-10-30 07:00:08 PM
"Would you like anything to drink before the war?"

mimg.ugo.com
 
2012-10-30 08:33:29 PM

Jon iz teh kewl: CQ CQ CQ DE NICODERM NICODERM NICODERM


spittake.jpg

/kf6fns
 
2012-10-30 11:05:42 PM
I don't care what his shtick is, write a coherent article THEN add humor. Jerk.
 
2012-10-30 11:12:32 PM
He was doing Berliners in the parking lot?!?
 
2012-10-31 06:45:38 AM
the front of his pants *IS* wet
 
2012-10-31 10:14:30 AM
Someone has to stop Will Greenlee. "Recently released affidavit" appears in the first paragraph of every article he's penned. I sincerely hope he's retarded and thinks he's a good writer.
 
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