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(Breitbart.com)   Hollywood is investing literally billions of dollars in biblical epics and purposely making them bad just so they can fail at the box office and make it look like Christians are a minority in this country. This is what Breitbart actually believes   (breitbart.com) divider line 104
    More: Asinine, epic film, Hollywood, minority, intersections, old humans, dramatic film  
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1899 clicks; posted to Politics » on 30 Oct 2012 at 1:47 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-10-30 10:18:00 AM
I thought Breitbart was dead.
 
2012-10-30 10:28:03 AM
Like a magical Mesopotamian Dr. Doolittle, Noah has the ability to "lead" the animals peacefully into the ark as they come from every corner of the earth. And yes, even the insects That is an awfully snarky comment attacking a Bibilical story for someone who claims to be a Christian.

Or do Christians now not believe that Noah took two of every animal(except the clean animals which he took 7 of) onto the ark?
 
2012-10-30 10:34:37 AM

spongeboob: I thought Breitbart was dead.


Someone is sure as hell trying to resurrect his dumbass website

/DRIVE THEM CLICKS
 
2012-10-30 10:35:43 AM
www.movieposter.com1.bp.blogspot.comwww.scene-stealers.com 
 
2012-10-30 10:45:02 AM

spongeboob: That is an awfully snarky comment attacking a Bibilical story for someone who claims to be a Christian. Or do Christians now not believe that Noah took two of every animal(except the clean animals which he took 7 of) onto the ark?


That stuck me as well. But anything that rings slightly environmentalist has to be stamped out completely in the new GOP, so I guess we can mock Genesis now.
 
2012-10-30 11:04:44 AM
Some of those Christian movies are pretty good and my son loves that one "Facing the Giants."
 
2012-10-30 11:20:55 AM
Giving film makers WAYYYYYYYYYYYY too much credit.

They had a budget, did a focus group and then wrote the script. Guaranteed to at least break even, the foreign markets and dvd sales will push that number way over the top.

Oh, and they also have to make a movie. But that's not important.
 
2012-10-30 12:02:16 PM

vartian: spongeboob: That is an awfully snarky comment attacking a Bibilical story for someone who claims to be a Christian. Or do Christians now not believe that Noah took two of every animal(except the clean animals which he took 7 of) onto the ark?

That stuck me as well. But anything that rings slightly environmentalist has to be stamped out completely in the new GOP, so I guess we can mock Genesis now.


Don't forget Deuteronomy 20:19 "When you are attacking a town and the war drags on, you must not cut down the trees with your axes. You may eat the fruit, but do not cut down the trees. Are the trees your enemies, that you should attack them?"
 
2012-10-30 12:02:43 PM
Of course the film went over budget. Do you have any idea how many bananas and Subway five-dollar footlongs Kirk Cameron goes through on an average shooting day?
 
2012-10-30 12:05:32 PM
So government should force people to go see movies?
 
2012-10-30 12:27:29 PM
Or, maybe it's just that comic book movies are more enjoyable and relevant to today's audience when they want to see films starring fictional characters who have never existed in the real world that have implausible and impossible super powers.
 
2012-10-30 12:52:35 PM
It took god seven days to make the Earth. It took the Death Star five seconds to blow up Alderaan.

What is epic now?
 
2012-10-30 01:34:08 PM
This is below even Breitbart standards of conspiratorial derp. I expect it from WND.
 
2012-10-30 01:48:45 PM

FirstNationalBastard: Or, maybe it's just that comic book movies are more enjoyable and relevant to today's audience when they want to see films starring fictional characters who have never existed in the real world that have implausible and impossible super powers.


a.abcnews.com
Sees what you did there.
 
2012-10-30 01:48:49 PM
Jesus Christ.
 
2012-10-30 01:49:14 PM
The only people who believe Christians are a minority in this country are Evangelicals.
 
2012-10-30 01:52:00 PM

Arkanaut: The only people who believe Christians are a minority in this country are Evangelicals.


What kills me is that there are Evangelicals who don't even think Methodists are true Christians. But they'll set aside that bias to accommodate their bigger racial bias.

Good works. Feh. Crazy.
 
2012-10-30 01:52:06 PM
FTFATitle: "'NOAH' PREACHES ENVIRONMENTALISM, HATRED OF HUMANITY"

Pretty sure most of the Bible talks about how humans are shiatheads.
 
2012-10-30 01:53:54 PM

seniorgato: Giving film makers WAYYYYYYYYYYYY too much credit.

They had a budget, did a focus group and then wrote the script. Guaranteed to at least break even, the foreign markets and dvd sales will push that number way over the top.

Oh, and they also have to make a movie. But that's not important.


Because if there is one thing Darren Aronofsky is known for, it is pandering to focus groups.
 
2012-10-30 01:54:06 PM

spongeboob: I thought Breitbart was dead.


Corporations are people, my friend.
 
2012-10-30 01:54:56 PM

Zapruder: FTFATitle: "'NOAH' PREACHES ENVIRONMENTALISM, HATRED OF HUMANITY"
Pretty sure most of the Bible talks about how humans are shiatheads.


It's Russell Crowe. You can tell by looking at him that he hates humanity.
 
2012-10-30 01:55:55 PM

spongeboob: I thought Breitbart was dead.


He became more powerful that you could have possibly imagined.

He's the Obi Wan of DERP.
 
2012-10-30 01:56:31 PM
Hollywood is investing literally billions of dollars in biblical epics and purposely making them bad just so they can fail at the box office and make it look like Christians are a minority in this country. This is what Breitbart actually believes

Most people don't call intentionally losing billions "investing". Most people aren't Breitbart writers though, I suppose.

/ how does this awful site continue to function? Who is reading this shiat?
 
2012-10-30 01:56:32 PM

spongeboob: (except the clean animals which he took 7 of)


Thank you for remembering this. Everybody forgets this which would make the animal population of the ark approximately 98 brazilian.
 
2012-10-30 01:57:35 PM
The author has clearly never seen the terrible crap pumped out by hardcore Christian studios that never let Wilson plots or relevant characters get in the way of more Jesus.
 
2012-10-30 01:58:16 PM
Am I the only one who watches those old-timey biblical movies just to enjoy the antics of the ancient Romans being naughty?

Kinda like the way Alex used to read his Bible stories.

i936.photobucket.com
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-10-30 01:58:50 PM
Fark autocorrect ^
 
2012-10-30 01:59:08 PM
No clicky for you zombie breitbart. And aren't contemporary biblical movies inherently bad and poorly made?
 
2012-10-30 01:59:17 PM
Persecution Complex
 
2012-10-30 01:59:57 PM

zetar: spongeboob: (except the clean animals which he took 7 of)

Thank you for remembering this. Everybody forgets this which would make the animal population of the ark approximately 98 brazilian.


Is "clean" a euphemism for "white"?
 
2012-10-30 02:00:24 PM

xynix: Some of those Christian movies are pretty good and my son loves that one "Facing the Giants."


When I was younger I loved watching that beautifully animated epic movie The Prince of Egypt. It was so well made and entertaining despite the fact that I am one of the least religious people on the planet. Some biblical movies are really great!
 
2012-10-30 02:01:21 PM
That movie "Machine Gun Preacher" is a pretty good advert for Christianity
 
2012-10-30 02:03:30 PM
Go ahead breitbart, tell us how you really feel about teh jooz
 
2012-10-30 02:04:38 PM

rufus-t-firefly: spongeboob: I thought Breitbart was dead.

He became more powerful that you could have possibly imagined.

He's the Obi Wan of DERP.


Wow. Cocaine IS a hell of a drug!
 
2012-10-30 02:05:13 PM
i69.photobucket.com
 
2012-10-30 02:06:57 PM
"The King's Speech" was about more than courage to do public speaking, it was about standing up to global terrorism.

dafug?
 
2012-10-30 02:08:06 PM
Noah's Old Testament (aka Hebrew Scripture), Christians don't hold a monopoly over anything before Matthew, Mark, Luke, & John. This is like saying a movie about Christopher Columbus that focuses on the diseases, rapes, and other atrocities committed by the first Europeans to the western hemisphere would be about making just the U.S. look bad, rather than all white folk.
 
2012-10-30 02:10:13 PM
Hollywood does not intentionally make movies to fail. The only possible exception would be when they have to produce something due to contractual obligation (see early 90's Fantastic Four), in which case they cheap out and just don't really give a shiat what it does.
 
2012-10-30 02:10:47 PM
What? They didn't like Life of Brian?
 
2012-10-30 02:11:16 PM
James Caviezel, who played Jesus in Mel Gibson's Passion movie was struck by lightning during production. Headline for that: "Pop goes Caviezel"
 
2012-10-30 02:13:31 PM

spongeboob: Like a magical Mesopotamian Dr. Doolittle, Noah has the ability to "lead" the animals peacefully into the ark as they come from every corner of the earth. And yes, even the insects

That is an awfully snarky comment attacking a Bibilical story for someone who claims to be a Christian.

Or do Christians now not believe that Noah took two of every animal(except the clean animals which he took 7 of) onto the ark?


Genesis 7:9 - "שְׁנַיִם שְׁנַיִם בָּאוּ אֶלנֹחַ אֶלהַתֵּבָה זָכָר וּנְקֵבָה כַּאֲשֶׁר צִוָּה אֱלֹהִים אֶתנֹחַ" ("Two by two they came to Noah, to the ark; male and female, as the lord had commanded Noah.")

So, no, Noah wasn't going around like a hippie Dr. Doolittle - the animals came to him, ready for their 40-day cruise.
 
2012-10-30 02:13:35 PM
Wait, so is this the week where Christians make up roughly 107% of the population of the U.S. or the week where they're the oppressed minority on the verge of extinction?
 
2012-10-30 02:13:42 PM

Cletus C.: Jesus Christ.


www.wearysloth.com

Yes?
 
2012-10-30 02:13:55 PM

Semantic Warrior: Noah's Old Testament (aka Hebrew Scripture), Christians don't hold a monopoly over anything before Matthew, Mark, Luke, & John. This is like saying a movie about Christopher Columbus that focuses on the diseases, rapes, and other atrocities committed by the first Europeans to the western hemisphere would be about making just the U.S. look bad, rather than all white folk.


Yup. Always fun to bring up to a fundie that Muslim's not only believe in the story of Noah, but consider him to be one of the first prophets.

/Thank goodness the Christian Fundies and Muslim Fundies hate each other too much to join together on social issues.
 
2012-10-30 02:14:05 PM
WTF am I reading?

Prince of Egypt made a mint back in 1998. Passion of the Christ, as well.
 
2012-10-30 02:14:49 PM
The primary sin of "Noah's" script is man's violence against the environment. Which is kind of contradictory, don't you think? Claiming that God destroys the entire environment because man was -- well, destroying the environment?

Contradictory? Maybe you should wonder more about your god putting a tree that man cannot eat from while allowing an evil talking snake in his perfect creation to talk that worthless biatch eve into tempting the virtuous man into eating the forbidden fruit. Talk about contradictory. That doesn't sound like a perfect creation, it sounds like a set-up.
 
2012-10-30 02:15:55 PM

theteacher: zetar: spongeboob: (except the clean animals which he took 7 of)

Thank you for remembering this. Everybody forgets this which would make the animal population of the ark approximately 98 brazilian.

Is "clean" a euphemism for "white"?


In the context of conservative Christians, yes.
 
Ehh
2012-10-30 02:15:57 PM
Because if there's one thing Hollywood likes to do, it's lose money on expensive productions. Yeah, that's what Hollywood is into.
 
2012-10-30 02:16:29 PM
Movie Industry is on the list!
 
2012-10-30 02:17:26 PM
I'm pretty sure that if Hollywood made a decent film based on the Gospel that they would make a fortune - every evangelical church and many mainline ones would bus out their kids to see it, and many families would own the movie on DVD and/or Blu-ray.

The idea that Hollywood doesn't want to make money because they have this dream of turning America into a liberal secular humanist utopia is absurd.
 
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