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(The Barnstormer)   Cheap Throat, the diary of a locked-out NHLer, day 41: Rock climbing, the Tits brothers, John Tortorella in Star Wars, and throwing Gary Bettman over Niagara Falls   (thebarnstormer.com) divider line 48
    More: Silly, John Tortorella, Gary Bettman, NHL players, warm air  
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5559 clicks; posted to Sports » on 29 Oct 2012 at 7:56 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-10-29 07:58:06 PM  
Noice?
 
2012-10-29 08:00:56 PM  
Rich greedy owners vs rich greedy players. Cancel the entire season and be done with it.
 
2012-10-29 08:06:05 PM  
"You heard of Deep Throat? This is her sister, Sore Throat."
 
2012-10-29 08:16:45 PM  
This article would have been better had he fallen to his doom.
 
2012-10-29 08:20:27 PM  
I still think this guy might have been on the Blackhawks last season.
 
2012-10-29 08:21:09 PM  

6655321: Rich greedy owners vs rich greedy players. Cancel the entire season and be done with it.


The sympathy should be a titch to the players here. The owners have been falling all over themselves to sign crazier and crazier contracts, that all of a sudden they don't want to honour. 'Hey we just signed you to a 5M a year deal, about that, how's 4.2?' The league had record profits last year, the idea that the owners are hurting any (collectively) is BS, they just want a bigger piece of the pie. Fine, STOP with the crazy contracts. OTHERWISE go fark yourselves and get the fark back to work. And Bettman you personally can go fark yourself. EIP if you care to here a fan's opinion further.
 
2012-10-29 08:41:12 PM  
This is a very long post that goes through nearly 40 days worth of "clues". If you do not want to read all of the circumstantial evidence and just want the conclusion, Skip to the end for TLDR.


While doing some checking we have to realize that many, some or all of the "Facts" that we know about Cheapthroat can be fabricated or half truths, Complete lies or even the truth. Consider the following how you wish...

If you believe the following as true as suggested in the blog;

Played Midget in Pembroke

If you look at the NHL alumni list who played in Pembroke for the Lumber kings you get:
Lumber Kings

Of that list, there are 3 names of players in recent years
Mike Eastwood (retired 2004)
P.J. Stock (retired 2004)
Dainius Zubrus (Still Active)

Lets take a look at the obvious still active player. Dainius Zubrus. According to Zubrus Contracts (I tried capgeek but they only had the most recent contract). The following were his contracts;

1996-2001 Unknown
2002-2004 2 years 2.9 million
2005-2006 2 year 3.7 million
2007-2013 6 year 20.4 million

Now Cheapthroat mentions in the blog that he has 4 million in the bank today and had made a few million by the time his brothers had their first kids. He also says that his first contract was for $847K which is fairly typical of a entry level contract.

From 2002-2006 he pocketed 2.9+3.7 = 6.6 million - Taxes(40% as a round number) = 3.96 million after tax - agent fee 10% pre tax = 3.3 million in pocket. Not a massive sum but definitely "a few million"

Lets continue on..

Cheapthroat mentions that he played with a teammate named "jonesy". Now there is an obvious "Jonesy" in the NHL. Keith Jones. Keith Jones also happened to play with Zubrus on his first team Philadelphia from 1996-1999.

In addition to the above, He also played with Jose Theodore from 1999-2001. "Josey" could very easily sound like "jonesy" and be converted to confuse readers.

Now it was mentioned that "Jonesy" had an injury and was out for 3 weeks with an upper body injury after playing a game in Columbus on Columbus day.

If we are to believe this as true, That would rule out Keith Jones as the "Jonesy" due to Columbus not entering the NHL until the 2000 season , Philadelphia didn't play in Columbus on Columbus day until 2001, after Keith Jones had retired the year before. And as you can see from the chart below, Montreal did not play in Columbus on Columbus day ever. Which also Eliminates Jose Theodore as "Jonesy". Because of these eliminations, it is possible that the injury story did not take place actually ON Columbus day in Columbus but perhaps another city or date and time. Could be more miss direction here. Keep in mind 2004 was the lockout year and the game was never played.

Columbus Day
1999 Oct. 11
2000 Oct. 9 Los Angeles at Columbus
2001 Oct. 8 Philadelphia at Columbus
2002 Oct. 14 Phoenix at Columbus
2003 Oct. 13 Vancouver at Columbus
2004 Oct. 11 N.Y. Rangers at Columbus
2005 Oct. 10
2006 Oct. 9 Phoenix at Columbus
2007 Oct. 8
2008 Oct. 13
2009 Oct. 12
2010 Oct. 11
2011 Oct. 10 Vancouver at Columbus

Now continuing on Cheapthroat mentions two separate stories where he spends a Canadian Thanksgiving(which also happens to be on Columbus day) in Pittsburgh and Boston in separate years. Checking the teams that played on those dates vs the teams Zubrus was on we get:


Canadian Thanksgiving
1999 Oct. 11
2000 Oct. 9
2001 Oct. 8 Washington at Boston
2002 Oct. 14
2003 Oct. 13 Washington at Toronto
2004 Oct. 11 Atlanta at Washington
2005 Oct. 10 N.Y. Rangers at Washington
2006 Oct. 9
2007 Oct. 8 New Jersey at Ottawa
2008 Oct. 13 New Jersey at NY Rangers
2009 Oct. 12 New Jersey at Washington
2010 Oct. 11 Pittsburgh at New Jersey
2011 Oct. 10

So the boston story was in 2001 Oct 8th and the Pittsburgh story was 2010 oct 11th.

Now It is important to note here for those who are unaware. Zubrus is not Canadian but he played in the Canadian midget and minors before the NHL. Typically when such young kids are brought to Canada to play hockey they are given a surrogate family to stay with. This is likely where he picked up his love for Canadian thanksgiving. Additionally it is also EXTREMELY likely that if Cheapthroat is Zubrus, When he refers to his "family" he is referring to his surrogate family in Ontario. Since they do not share the same last name it makes looking for them nearly impossible. Additionally it also becomes a safe topic of conversation in the blog as if someone was to try and look up his family without this knowledge he would be going down the wrong road and rule him out. However it does still prove a strong link towards the Canadian thanksgiving that Cheapthroat loves so much.

In the blog he mentions that he knows who truly runs the show in montreal. Having played there he had intimate knowledge of the subject.

In the blog Cheapthroat mentions that Glen Metropolit slashed his wrist in Washington once. Glen and Dainius were teammates in Washington for several years. Likely an incident that happened in practice.

As for other players he mentions the following:
guys I don't like: Marchand, Ference, Bertuzzi, Bouwmeester, Sid, Cammy, Nash, Phaneuf, Briere, Suter, Boyle.

This seems like a likely list. We can also note that he refers to Briere as Douchey Briere. In 2006-07 Zubrus was traded from Washington to Buffalo as a rent a player at the trade deadline. This was also the year that Briere did well points wise in a contract year and then followed it up by leaving Buffalo for more money. It is likely that his short 19 game stint in buffalo allowed him to see a side of Briere that was "douchey" and he did not like.

Cheapthroat also mentions that he:
Hates ilya Kovalchuk (team mate, likely misdirection)
Hates Alex Ovechkin (team mate, likely misdirection or potential reason for wanting out of WSH)
Hates chara (probably true, There is a popular picture for sale and used on the internet with Chara checking zubrus into the boards) Chara/Zubrus Pic

In addition to the above he mentions he wants to go and heckle Claude Giroux in Europe. Claude Giroux was suspended for an illegal hit on Zubrus near the end of the last hockey season and is the likely source of angst for the heckling.

Additionally the above hit gave Zubrus a concussion. Does this explain cheapthroats constant taking of pills for headaches? Does this explain cheapthroats lack of desire to play in Europe, wanting to remain healthy and rest up?

He also mentions that he hates the following teams;
Bruins, Devils, Panthers, Canucks and Flyers

Now there would appear to be a mix of misdirection and truth to this list. Bruins, Panthers and Canucks all sync with his hated player list. While he did play for the Flyers at the start of his career that was a long time ago. Lots of new players including a few he dislikes are now on the team. The devils in the list appears to be more misdirection.

Continuing on with Team mate related stories, Cheapthroat mentions an incident at a club in Alberta where a veterans niece was dancing/grinding with a rookie on the dance floor while "his boy" got really pissed and went up to give a few fist sandwiches, instead falls and injures the kid for several weeks. If we look back at Zubrus's time in Montreal he played with Trevor linden(30 at the time) who was born in medicine hat Alberta and obvious has family in the area. Now the ONLY rookie on the team at that time was Mike Ribiero. In 2000-01 Ribiero only played 2 games for the Canadiens. The first game was in December against... Calgary. Ribiero was then sent back down to the minors and wasn't seen again until 4 months later despite playing 19 games the season before.

In another story, Cheapthroat mentions a snow in at Chicago where there was a measuring contest. In that story he mentions in junior making a rookie cry from Thunder Bay after "whipping It out". Zubrus played for Caledon Canadians in Junior. While he was there, two players were from Thunder bay, take your pick as to the crier;

Dwight Cormier
Goalie
Born Mar 28 1979 -- Thunder Bay, ONT
Height 5.09 -- Weight 177 -- Shoots L

Michael Simeoni
Forward
Born May 29 1978 -- Thunder Bay, ONT
Height 6.01 -- Weight 180 -- Shoots L


Cheapthroat mentions that he has scored on nearly every goalie with one exception. Martin Brodeur. Would this be Zubrus being cheeky making people think he would actually have a chance to score on brodeur on a regular basis but cannot? When the reality is he cant score on him because they are teammates?

Onto his vacation in Europe. He mentions that Paris is no Montreal and how they were very similar to "Quebec city French". Generally speaking most people wouldn't know this distinction without actually having spent significant time in both Montreal and Quebec City.

He mentions that he lets a German girl randomly pick his next destination of Lithuania. Now is this misdirection as well? Would it surprise you to know that zubrus is Lithuanian and he likely was going there to visit his real family members?


Why was a new jersey devil wearing a Toronto raptors jersey in Lithuania without realizing that the new raptors star centre is from Lithuania, OR is he a raptor fan specifically because now he has another countryman to cheer for in one of his other favorite sports. Basketball(zubrus is 6'5 and likely was exposed to bball growing up because of his height)? He pretends to feign ignorance on the subject but I cannot believe someone would randomly be wearing a raptors jersey that isn't from Toronto especially while on vacation to Lithuania without the obvious knowledge of the new star.

In a recent blog post Cheap throat mentions that he won a fight 4 years ago. Now the conversation was surrounding russians in the blog, but second hated in europe behind russians is usually americans(often not deserved). If we check Hockeyfights.com we get Zubrus vs Dubinsky 4 years ago you be the judge on who won the fight. The interesting point is that it was exactly 4 years ago as the blog mentions.

Obvious Misdirection: The height and weight of 6'2 tall 200 lbs
that he gives is an obvious lie. He picks an average height for the NHL with a near average weight as to keep as many options open as possible. I don't believe this information to be reliable at all. Its too obviously used to narrow the players down.

Obvious Misdirection: Cheapthroat actually refers to Dainius Zubrus as being a sad candidate for retirement if this situation goes on too long. It seems like an obvious ploy to refer to ones self in the third person to hide your identity. We were aware of this for all the comments about every player and believe that based on the above evidence that this is the actual misdirection attempt.

Interesting Problem: Does Cheapthroat want to remain anonymous because of his opinions or because of his desire for random women everywhere he goes. If cheapthroat is in fact Dainius Zubrus it is worth noting that he is married to a model/actress Nathalie Sanschagrin. Now also keep in mind that Tiger woods was married to a Swedish swimsuit model as well and that didn't deter him any either. Is this an actual problem for the identity or does Cheapthroat want to remain anonymous because of potential martial problems that might arise?


Well there you have it. This is what we can come up with using Google. There are some other hints that are used throughout the blog but we were unable to use them in a manner of either disproving or proving the identity of cheapthroat. Based on the circumstantial evidence we have described above we believe that cheapthroat is in fact Dainius Zubrus.


TLDR: we believe it is Dainius Zubrus.
 
2012-10-29 08:45:29 PM  
Somebody get into the Scottish porn?
 
2012-10-29 08:57:13 PM  
Chara/Zubrus Pic

Wow, take away the hockey uniforms and that could be a prison shower scene.
 
2012-10-29 08:58:37 PM  

poisonedpawn78: TLDR: we believe it is Dainius Zubrus.


That's a lot of detective work for naught. With each new blog post I am more and more convinced that it's all a joke. There is no NHL player.

But let's assume that this guy is real. You steamroll over so many inconsistencies to make Zubrus stick. Seriously, you gave me twice as many reasons to believe it wasn't him as you did to convince me it was. Not to mention, what has Zubrus ever done to make you think he's got the sense of humor/wit on display in these posts? Which, incidentally, is a big reason why I don't believe it is a player. There's something too English major about the timestamp set-ups on the jokes.

Impressive sleuthing, and I hate to be That Guy who knocks down the blocks you just built, but I don't buy it.
 
2012-10-29 09:07:21 PM  

swahnhennessy: poisonedpawn78: TLDR: we believe it is Dainius Zubrus.

That's a lot of detective work for naught. With each new blog post I am more and more convinced that it's all a joke. There is no NHL player.

But let's assume that this guy is real. You steamroll over so many inconsistencies to make Zubrus stick. Seriously, you gave me twice as many reasons to believe it wasn't him as you did to convince me it was. Not to mention, what has Zubrus ever done to make you think he's got the sense of humor/wit on display in these posts? Which, incidentally, is a big reason why I don't believe it is a player. There's something too English major about the timestamp set-ups on the jokes.

Impressive sleuthing, and I hate to be That Guy who knocks down the blocks you just built, but I don't buy it.


Its entirely possible that we have it wrong. However looking at as many possibilities as we could this seemed like "the most likely" of a list of all partial fits(think of a big list where everyone is 10-40% fitting and one guy stands out as potentitally being 55% match. Its hard to ignore). The hard part is, what is the truth, half truth or a complete lie? we probably will never know exactly for sure. This is also why I included all of the evidence that points to him but gets disproven. I dont want to be biased into forcing only the good stuff to be shown. I include the points that dont seem to work out so that everyone can make their own choice.. is it a lie or half truth. or do i simply have it wrong?

As for the english and humor. dont forget. if it IS zubrus. He lived in canada for almost his entire teenage years and essentially grew up here. So he would speak natural english and understand the nuances of joking and being subtle unlike a transplant at the NHL level only who is just learning english.
 
2012-10-29 09:08:18 PM  
I liek chocolate milk
 
2012-10-29 09:09:05 PM  

swahnhennessy: That's a lot of detective work for naught. With each new blog post I am more and more convinced that it's all a joke. There is no NHL player.

But let's assume that this guy is real. You steamroll over so many inconsistencies to make Zubrus stick. Seriously, you gave me twice as many reasons to believe it wasn't him as you did to convince me it was. Not to mention, what has Zubrus ever done to make you think he's got the sense of humor/wit on display in these posts? Which, incidentally, is a big reason why I don't believe it is a player. There's something too English major about the timestamp set-ups on the jokes.

Impressive sleuthing, and I hate to be That Guy who knocks down the blocks you just built, but I don't buy it.


There are some set-ups that I read that I think are witty, but then nearly twice as many where I think the author is pants-on-head moronic.
 
2012-10-29 09:15:06 PM  

sno man: 6655321: Rich greedy owners vs rich greedy players. Cancel the entire season and be done with it.

The sympathy should be a titch to the players here. The owners have been falling all over themselves to sign crazier and crazier contracts, that all of a sudden they don't want to honour. 'Hey we just signed you to a 5M a year deal, about that, how's 4.2?' The league had record profits last year, the idea that the owners are hurting any (collectively) is BS, they just want a bigger piece of the pie. Fine, STOP with the crazy contracts. OTHERWISE go fark yourselves and get the fark back to work. And Bettman you personally can go fark yourself. EIP if you care to here a fan's opinion further.


What he said.
 
2012-10-29 10:01:48 PM  

firefly212: sno man: 6655321: Rich greedy owners vs rich greedy players. Cancel the entire season and be done with it.

The sympathy should be a titch to the players here. The owners have been falling all over themselves to sign crazier and crazier contracts, that all of a sudden they don't want to honour. 'Hey we just signed you to a 5M a year deal, about that, how's 4.2?' The league had record profits last year, the idea that the owners are hurting any (collectively) is BS, they just want a bigger piece of the pie. Fine, STOP with the crazy contracts. OTHERWISE go fark yourselves and get the fark back to work. And Bettman you personally can go fark yourself. EIP if you care to here a fan's opinion further.

What he said.


Yeah, I'm sick of it too, and I'll lean slightly towards the players side on this, simply because of the hypocrisy of signing players to those stupid contract this summer and then claiming to want shorter contract terms. Apparently, there has to be a 75% vote of the owners to override Bettman so all he needs is 8 owners out of 30 to back his hard-line positions.

And one of those supposed "hawks" is Ed Snider of the Flyers. Do you think he'd be digging in his heels if Nashville hadn't matched that ridiculous Shea Weber offer sheet? This is royally screwing Nashville because the $20M signing bonus gets paid no matter what. A team that has managed to stay competitive despite a lower payroll, lower corporate support, low profile, will be sunk because one of the rich neighbour's kids is throwing a tantrum for not getting his way.
 
2012-10-29 10:02:50 PM  
That said, poo stories are always funny.
 
2012-10-29 10:03:40 PM  

poisonedpawn78: Now It is important to note here for those who are unaware. Zubrus is not Canadian but he played in the Canadian midget and minors before the NHL.


Dainius Zubrus did not play his minor hockey in Canada.

He played for "Druzhba '78" until 1995. It was a traveling hockey team/program/school from Karkhov, Ukraine that toured North America playing minor hockey squads across Canada and the United States (and typically beating teams by scores of 20-1) to raise money to keep the program going in the wake of the collapse of the Soviet Union. I saw them twice back then.

So while he visited the country as part of a traveling team, touring and playing exhibition matches against minor hockey teams, he was not a product of the Canadian minor hockey system, he never played on any Canadian midget teams and he didn't move to Canada until he was 18, when he played AA Junior hockey in Pembroke for a year before he was drafted. So I'm going to side with swahnhennessy and say that the blog is too well written to be a Russian (or even Lithuanian) expat who had a mostly spotty adolescent exposure to English and western culture growing up. What Russian would care enough to start a blog at any rate?

Most of the Russian players are ambivalent about the lockout and have fled for the KHL anyway. And some of them -- notably Kovalchuk, Ovechkin, Malkin and Datsyuk -- have said that if there is no NHL season, they're not coming back. And I actually kinda like this idea.... the Russians not coming over here anymore. Because if they stay home and play in the KHL, we won't get to see them so much, and it will restore some of that allure and mystery that the old Soviet Red Army conveyed during those exciting Canada Cups and Summit Series in the 70s and 80s. Something exotic was lost in hockey when everyone started playing everyone in the same league. It makes international competition less interesting. And maybe by separating the hockey powers into eastern and western spheres again, we can return to those Cold War sentiments.

At least, I hope.
 
2012-10-29 10:04:25 PM  
The comment at the bottom was better than the article.
 
2012-10-29 10:25:53 PM  

Ishkur:

So while he visited the country as part of a traveling team, touring and playing exhibition matches against minor hockey teams, he was not a product of the Canadian minor hockey system, he never played on any Canadian midget teams and he didn't move to Canada until he was 18, when he played AA Junior hockey in Pembroke for a year before he was drafted....


Actually it was Single A not double A junior. He also played for the caledon canadians in junior before being drafted and sticking in the NHL. As for the traveling schools for hockey. They do not house kids in hotel rooms and actually travel.These teams cannot afford that cost. They get local families to house the kids and take them to practices when required or a local meeting spot where the team will rent a bus and travel from there. I know. My family did this exact thing for several "traveling" swedish teams. I could have elaborated on this in the post but figured it was wasted space on something that was already too long.
 
2012-10-29 10:30:24 PM  
Felt the horse coming down bowel canyon after I was sitting there for a bit thinking of Torts and scurried up a path by a vineyard, dropped trow and shat what looked like the fetus of a manitee.

Then I decided not to read the rest of the blog because Others had over ANALyzed it, and I can't write any better.
 
2012-10-29 10:31:52 PM  

Johnny the Tackling Alzheimers Patient:
And one of those supposed "hawks" is Ed Snider of the Flyers. Do you think he'd be digging in his heels if Nashville hadn't matched that ridiculous Shea Weber offer sheet? This is royally screwing Nashville because the $20M signing bonus gets paid no matter what. A team that has managed to stay competitive despite a lower payroll, lower corporate support, low profile, will be sunk because one of the rich neighbour's kids is throwing a tantrum for not getting his way.


And right beside him is Craig Leopold. Now that's a pairing just begging for a point and laugh.
 
2012-10-29 10:37:57 PM  
I have read several of these,Anybody else think its a different hockey player every week?
 
2012-10-29 10:38:41 PM  

poisonedpawn78: TLDR: we believe it is Dainius Zubrus.


You forgot one crucial fact. There is no way any current NHL player is a good enough writer to have produced that blog.
 
2012-10-29 10:44:32 PM  

W.C.fields forever: I have read several of these,Anybody else think its a different hockey player every week?


I originally thought it was colton orr until i did some digging. Just the crudeness and constant drinking along with the bully/type A attitude. Plus his love for Merryl streep made me think, who is the last guy in the NHL you would laugh at for liking streep... Colton Orr hehe.
 
2012-10-29 10:53:31 PM  

poisonedpawn78: who is the last guy in the NHL you would laugh at for liking streep


Why would you laugh at any guy for liking Streep? One of the hottest actresses to ever appear on-screen. Even in her old age she's still looking pretty good.
 
2012-10-29 10:57:48 PM  
Thinking about it, Streep might fall into a zone where you can be suspected of being gay because you like her, or because you do not.

Which makes us all gay.
 
2012-10-29 11:11:20 PM  

poisonedpawn78: As for the traveling schools for hockey. They do not house kids in hotel rooms and actually travel.These teams cannot afford that cost. They get local families to house the kids and take them to practices when required or a local meeting spot where the team will rent a bus and travel from there. I know. My family did this exact thing for several "traveling" swedish teams.


Well, since you know, why would you say that he lived and played here in his youth?
 
2012-10-30 12:14:19 AM  
Well there you have it. This is what we can come up with using Google. There are some other hints that are used throughout the blog but we were unable to use them in a manner of either disproving or proving the identity of cheapthroat. Based on the circumstantial evidence we have described above we believe that cheapthroat is in fact Dainius Zubrus.

who gives a fark
 
2012-10-30 12:25:33 AM  

Flappyhead: Chara/Zubrus Pic

Wow, take away the hockey uniforms and that could be a prison shower scene.


SCORE!!!!
 
2012-10-30 01:04:45 AM  
The Dynamo / Dinamo game today was pretty entertaining. Please update your 16 year old Roughriders jokes accordingly. The KHL has three Dynamo / Dinamos and two Mettalurgs, and some excellent hockey.
I support a lost NHL season if it pushes the owners into a meaningful revenue sharing deal that means we don't have have to put up with this lockout shiat again in 5-6 years. The Welfare Coyotes paid more into revenue sharing this year than the cash flush Leafs just because they made the playoffs. That shiat ain't right. I'm a Bruins fan but Jeremy Jacobs and his ilk can go fark themselves with an iron stick for again expecting the players to pay for their stupidity.
Please excuse my rambling. I'm tired and drunk, but I think my points stand.
 
2012-10-30 01:31:12 AM  

Ishkur: poisonedpawn78: Now It is important to note here for those who are unaware. Zubrus is not Canadian but he played in the Canadian midget and minors before the NHL.

Dainius Zubrus did not play his minor hockey in Canada.

He played for "Druzhba '78" until 1995. It was a traveling hockey team/program/school from Karkhov, Ukraine that toured North America playing minor hockey squads across Canada and the United States (and typically beating teams by scores of 20-1) to raise money to keep the program going in the wake of the collapse of the Soviet Union. I saw them twice back then.

So while he visited the country as part of a traveling team, touring and playing exhibition matches against minor hockey teams, he was not a product of the Canadian minor hockey system, he never played on any Canadian midget teams and he didn't move to Canada until he was 18, when he played AA Junior hockey in Pembroke for a year before he was drafted. So I'm going to side with swahnhennessy and say that the blog is too well written to be a Russian (or even Lithuanian) expat who had a mostly spotty adolescent exposure to English and western culture growing up. What Russian would care enough to start a blog at any rate?

Most of the Russian players are ambivalent about the lockout and have fled for the KHL anyway. And some of them -- notably Kovalchuk, Ovechkin, Malkin and Datsyuk -- have said that if there is no NHL season, they're not coming back. And I actually kinda like this idea.... the Russians not coming over here anymore. Because if they stay home and play in the KHL, we won't get to see them so much, and it will restore some of that allure and mystery that the old Soviet Red Army conveyed during those exciting Canada Cups and Summit Series in the 70s and 80s. Something exotic was lost in hockey when everyone started playing everyone in the same league. It makes international competition less interesting. And maybe by separating the hockey powers into eastern and western spheres again, we can return to those Cold War sentiments.

At least, I hope.


I personally think it makes international hockey more interesting. there are more rivalries, as players have been playing against each other (or even on the same team) for a long time, and possibly creating a hatred for each other.

An example of this would be the ovechkin v Malkin rivalry. It was pretty well known a few years ago that they strongly disliked each other. Kovalchuck had a little meeting with the two of them, and suggested that for the good of Russian hockey, they put aside their differences, and apparently they did.

What I would like to see instead of an NHL all star game, is a rendezvous 87 type matchup pitting the NHL all stars vs the Khl all stars.
 
2012-10-30 02:03:35 AM  

swahnhennessy: poisonedpawn78: TLDR: we believe it is Dainius Zubrus.

That's a lot of detective work for naught. With each new blog post I am more and more convinced that it's all a joke. There is no NHL player.

But let's assume that this guy is real. You steamroll over so many inconsistencies to make Zubrus stick. Seriously, you gave me twice as many reasons to believe it wasn't him as you did to convince me it was. Not to mention, what has Zubrus ever done to make you think he's got the sense of humor/wit on display in these posts? Which, incidentally, is a big reason why I don't believe it is a player. There's something too English major about the timestamp set-ups on the jokes.

Impressive sleuthing, and I hate to be That Guy who knocks down the blocks you just built, but I don't buy it.


You know, I really, really wanted this to be for real. But something about the posts in the last few days has seemed off, and I'm starting to think that it might just be Joe Shmoe having some fun. Which takes some of the fun out of it... :(
 
2012-10-30 03:14:19 AM  
NIAGARA FALLS!!!!! That's where I found him!!!!!

And slooooooowly I turned... Step by step... Inch by inch...

*starts pummeling the hell out of Basketball Lawyer*
 
2012-10-30 03:26:10 AM  
Wow... really, folks? Beliefs here seem to run the spectrum on this one- from pastafarians to "It's real to me dammit" kid.
 
2012-10-30 09:40:01 AM  
Heheeeheeeeee. Gummer.
 
2012-10-30 10:27:52 AM  
Anyone here still think this ISN'T being written by slum slob in his basement?
 
2012-10-30 12:32:59 PM  

Ishkur: So I'm going to side with swahnhennessy and say that the blog is too well written to be a Russian (or even Lithuanian) expat who had a mostly spotty adolescent exposure to English and western culture growing up. What Russian would care enough to start a blog at any rate?


He's definitely not a Russian. Russians writing in English have a certain flow to their grammar and phrasing that sticks out if you know what to look for. I don't see it in Cheap Throat's writing.
 
2012-10-30 02:35:27 PM  

Luthien's Tempest: swahnhennessy: poisonedpawn78: TLDR: we believe it is Dainius Zubrus.

That's a lot of detective work for naught. With each new blog post I am more and more convinced that it's all a joke. There is no NHL player.

But let's assume that this guy is real. You steamroll over so many inconsistencies to make Zubrus stick. Seriously, you gave me twice as many reasons to believe it wasn't him as you did to convince me it was. Not to mention, what has Zubrus ever done to make you think he's got the sense of humor/wit on display in these posts? Which, incidentally, is a big reason why I don't believe it is a player. There's something too English major about the timestamp set-ups on the jokes.

Impressive sleuthing, and I hate to be That Guy who knocks down the blocks you just built, but I don't buy it.

You know, I really, really wanted this to be for real. But something about the posts in the last few days has seemed off, and I'm starting to think that it might just be Joe Shmoe having some fun. Which takes some of the fun out of it... :(


I want to believe...
 
2012-10-30 03:43:19 PM  

NickBush24: Luthien's Tempest: swahnhennessy: poisonedpawn78: TLDR: we believe it is Dainius Zubrus.

That's a lot of detective work for naught. With each new blog post I am more and more convinced that it's all a joke. There is no NHL player.

But let's assume that this guy is real. You steamroll over so many inconsistencies to make Zubrus stick. Seriously, you gave me twice as many reasons to believe it wasn't him as you did to convince me it was. Not to mention, what has Zubrus ever done to make you think he's got the sense of humor/wit on display in these posts? Which, incidentally, is a big reason why I don't believe it is a player. There's something too English major about the timestamp set-ups on the jokes.

Impressive sleuthing, and I hate to be That Guy who knocks down the blocks you just built, but I don't buy it.

You know, I really, really wanted this to be for real. But something about the posts in the last few days has seemed off, and I'm starting to think that it might just be Joe Shmoe having some fun. Which takes some of the fun out of it... :(

I want to believe...


Don't we all.
 
2012-10-30 03:49:01 PM  

Luthien's Tempest: NickBush24: Luthien's Tempest: swahnhennessy: poisonedpawn78: TLDR: we believe it is Dainius Zubrus.

That's a lot of detective work for naught. With each new blog post I am more and more convinced that it's all a joke. There is no NHL player.

But let's assume that this guy is real. You steamroll over so many inconsistencies to make Zubrus stick. Seriously, you gave me twice as many reasons to believe it wasn't him as you did to convince me it was. Not to mention, what has Zubrus ever done to make you think he's got the sense of humor/wit on display in these posts? Which, incidentally, is a big reason why I don't believe it is a player. There's something too English major about the timestamp set-ups on the jokes.

Impressive sleuthing, and I hate to be That Guy who knocks down the blocks you just built, but I don't buy it.

You know, I really, really wanted this to be for real. But something about the posts in the last few days has seemed off, and I'm starting to think that it might just be Joe Shmoe having some fun. Which takes some of the fun out of it... :(

I want to believe...

Don't we all.


I just want bacon
 
2012-10-30 04:07:32 PM  

Thudfark: Luthien's Tempest:...
I want to believe...

Don't we all.

I just want bacon


There's a simple solution to this conundrum. You go and get bacon. :D

Which I need to do soon, since I ate all of mine on Sunday so it wouldn't go bad if I lost electricity. I ate half a pound of bacon in about 15 minutes, and it was marvelous.
 
2012-10-30 04:28:47 PM  

Luthien's Tempest: Thudfark: Luthien's Tempest:...
I want to believe...

Don't we all.

I just want bacon

There's a simple solution to this conundrum. You go and get bacon. :D

Which I need to do soon, since I ate all of mine on Sunday so it wouldn't go bad if I lost electricity. I ate half a pound of bacon in about 15 minutes, and it was marvelous.


Mmmm...bacon. It's 10.30pm. The bacon mongerer has long since called it a day
 
2012-10-30 04:30:54 PM  
I started reading from day 1. I can't stop. I freaking love this.
 
2012-10-30 05:02:50 PM  

Thudfark: Luthien's Tempest: Thudfark: Luthien's Tempest:...
I want to believe...

Don't we all.

I just want bacon

There's a simple solution to this conundrum. You go and get bacon. :D

Which I need to do soon, since I ate all of mine on Sunday so it wouldn't go bad if I lost electricity. I ate half a pound of bacon in about 15 minutes, and it was marvelous.

Mmmm...bacon. It's 10.30pm. The bacon mongerer has long since called it a day


Perhaps you should have planned ahead, then. ;)
 
2012-10-30 05:09:17 PM  

Luthien's Tempest: Thudfark: Luthien's Tempest: Thudfark: Luthien's Tempest:...
I want to believe...

Don't we all.

I just want bacon

There's a simple solution to this conundrum. You go and get bacon. :D

Which I need to do soon, since I ate all of mine on Sunday so it wouldn't go bad if I lost electricity. I ate half a pound of bacon in about 15 minutes, and it was marvelous.

Mmmm...bacon. It's 10.30pm. The bacon mongerer has long since called it a day

Perhaps you should have planned ahead, then. ;)


Pffftt...where's the fun in that?
 
2012-10-30 05:10:47 PM  

Thudfark: Luthien's Tempest: Thudfark: Luthien's Tempest: Thudfark: Luthien's Tempest:...
I want to believe...

Don't we all.

I just want bacon

There's a simple solution to this conundrum. You go and get bacon. :D

Which I need to do soon, since I ate all of mine on Sunday so it wouldn't go bad if I lost electricity. I ate half a pound of bacon in about 15 minutes, and it was marvelous.

Mmmm...bacon. It's 10.30pm. The bacon mongerer has long since called it a day

Perhaps you should have planned ahead, then. ;)

Pffftt...where's the fun in that?


Well, you'd have bacon now if you had :)
 
2012-10-30 05:27:02 PM  

Luthien's Tempest: Thudfark: Luthien's Tempest: Thudfark: Luthien's Tempest: Thudfark: Luthien's Tempest:...
I want to believe...

Don't we all.

I just want bacon

There's a simple solution to this conundrum. You go and get bacon. :D

Which I need to do soon, since I ate all of mine on Sunday so it wouldn't go bad if I lost electricity. I ate half a pound of bacon in about 15 minutes, and it was marvelous.

Mmmm...bacon. It's 10.30pm. The bacon mongerer has long since called it a day

Perhaps you should have planned ahead, then. ;)

Pffftt...where's the fun in that?

Well, you'd have bacon now if you had :)


You're not helping
 
2012-10-30 05:35:55 PM  

Thudfark: Luthien's Tempest: Thudfark: Luthien's Tempest: Thudfark: Luthien's Tempest: Thudfark: Luthien's Tempest:...
I want to believe...

Don't we all.

I just want bacon

There's a simple solution to this conundrum. You go and get bacon. :D

Which I need to do soon, since I ate all of mine on Sunday so it wouldn't go bad if I lost electricity. I ate half a pound of bacon in about 15 minutes, and it was marvelous.

Mmmm...bacon. It's 10.30pm. The bacon mongerer has long since called it a day

Perhaps you should have planned ahead, then. ;)

Pffftt...where's the fun in that?

Well, you'd have bacon now if you had :)

You're not helping


I was supposed to help. Sorry, missed that memo ;)

For future reference, I'll need the memo in triplicate and notarized and a month in advance.
 
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