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(YouTube)   Dammit, Hollywood   (youtube.com) divider line 144
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21333 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Oct 2012 at 5:40 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-10-29 03:53:49 PM
Sorry you're upset, subby, but that looks like a fun romp.
 
2012-10-29 04:06:00 PM
I was saying 'Booooo-ears'.
 
2012-10-29 04:19:57 PM
Jeremy Renner, Gemma Aterton, Peter Stormare, Famke Janssen

Literally no one has a problem with this.
 
2012-10-29 04:24:14 PM
So it's an R rated Van Helsing?

Meh, I'll probably watch it when it hits DVD.
 
2012-10-29 05:42:20 PM
Looks very silly to me. And probably intentionally.
 
2012-10-29 05:43:06 PM

exick: Jeremy Renner, Gemma Aterton, Peter Stormare, Famke Janssen

Literally no one has a problem with this.


Except homosexuals, and subby.
 
2012-10-29 05:43:24 PM
I couldn't even finish that trailer.
 
2012-10-29 05:44:03 PM
looks like its trying really hard to be casual cool
 
2012-10-29 05:45:59 PM
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com

DO NOT APPROVE
 
2012-10-29 05:46:04 PM
Meh.

I'm going to go ahead and call it though... the blonde he falls in love with is going to end up being a witch.
 
2012-10-29 05:46:56 PM
Step 1: Claim your "intellectual property" is sacred.
Step 2: Bastardize everyone else's.
Step 3: Hollywood™.
 
2012-10-29 05:47:27 PM

The All-Powerful Atheismo: exick: Jeremy Renner, Gemma Aterton, Peter Stormare, Famke Janssen

Literally no one has a problem with this.

Except homosexuals, and subby.


I thought homosexuals liked Jeremy Renner?
 
2012-10-29 05:47:34 PM
Needs more cowbell.
And more T&A.
 
2012-10-29 05:47:39 PM
First third will be cool fight / chase scenes with some good laughs - one genuinely funny moment thrown in

Second third will try to get a little scary, have jump jump out of your seat scenes and try to start to be serious

Final third will be tons of shaky camera moves, blood thrown every where, one more jump scene and at least one or two "wait, is the with really dead or not?" scene

/unless they go all Sam Raimi, then all bets are off and it could turn into a fun ride
//unfortunately I think it's more the former than the latter though
 
2012-10-29 05:47:49 PM

scottydoesntknow: So it's an R rated Van Helsing?



My first thought as well. And we all know how well Van Helsing did.
 
2012-10-29 05:47:53 PM
Having some baseline of expectation of quality isn't mutually exclusive with being able to have fun or enjoy fun things.

So yes, this looks like shiat.
 
2012-10-29 05:48:13 PM

CapeFearCadaver: Meh.

I'm going to go ahead and call it though... the blonde he falls in love with is going to end up being a witch.


Came here to say this... but as always, I was late.
 
2012-10-29 05:48:15 PM
"We kill witches, what do you do?"

Seriously. That isn't even the good kind of cheesy. At least in Wanted it fit with the context. I'm sure we'll see Beauty and the Beast retooled with Belle as the lone demon hunter chasing after the one thing that murdered her family, the Beast...or so she thought! *BOOM* Belle shooting akimbo style, running upside from the ceiling while Rage Against the Machine plays in the background.
 
2012-10-29 05:49:03 PM
with = witch

/new keyboard and still breaking the damn thing in
 
2012-10-29 05:49:46 PM
Didn't they already make this movie with Matt Damon and Heath Ledger?

The Brothers Grimm
 
2012-10-29 05:49:48 PM
I think it looks fun... will wait for DVD though
 
2012-10-29 05:50:05 PM
When do we get the modern version of Mary Had a Little Lamb? Because I loves me some girl on sheep action!
 
2012-10-29 05:50:18 PM
HIDE YO KIDS, HIDE YO WIFE!

cdn03.cdn.justjared.com
 
2012-10-29 05:50:20 PM
so... basically this is a story where *deep breath*

van helsing meets snow white and they have babies who are hansel and gretel who wind up surviving the candy house incident because van helsing had his friend the tailor teach them giant slaying kung fu and they teamed up with Q from james bond's great great great great grandfather so he could build them gadgets that his apprentice nikolai tesla designs(but doesn't get any credit, cause fark that tesla dude), and they go around hunting witches for profit until they find the last surviving witch who gave her heart to the evil king and now they have to lead the commoners in a revolt against the king only the only way to kill the king is to slay the witch who's now become like a mother figure to them, but she gives her life in a final blaze of heroic glory and floats up to the heavens and becomes a star that watches down on everyone and then arthur throws excalibur into the lake while his roman soldiers get to ride home.

*gaaaasp*
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2012-10-29 05:50:56 PM
Hensel and Grettel.. They're COPS!
 
2012-10-29 05:54:09 PM
Hansel. He's so hot right now.
 
2012-10-29 05:54:23 PM
It's Hansel and Gretel... with a gun.

I miss Stephen J. Cannell.
 
2012-10-29 05:54:27 PM
Obviously this movie is preposterous because Hansel and Gretel never weigh any of the witches before they kill them.
 
2012-10-29 05:54:30 PM
The stunts and subject matter make it look like it was filmed by a high school film class.
 
2012-10-29 05:55:23 PM

The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: Obviously this movie is preposterous because Hansel and Gretel never weigh any of the witches before they kill them.


but those witches are flying.

what also flies?

ducks.

boom, headshot to your logic.
 
2012-10-29 05:55:40 PM
Looks like a great comedy. Can't wait to see it
 
2012-10-29 05:55:43 PM
Looks like a fun* movie.

*Actually, I'll watch anything with Gemma Arterton or Famke Jensen, so putting both in the same movie means I have no choice but to see it.
 
2012-10-29 05:56:07 PM
Really, Hawkeye? You're making Avengers money now, and this is the best script you could get?
 
2012-10-29 06:00:15 PM

exick: Jeremy Renner, Gemma Aterton, Peter Stormare, Famke Janssen

Literally no one has a problem with this.

 
2012-10-29 06:01:18 PM
Thanks for the trailer. Now I don't have to see the movie.
 
2012-10-29 06:03:19 PM

DemDave: Didn't they already make this movie with Matt Damon and Heath Ledger?

The Brothers Grimm


Yes. And it was much, much better than this looks to be.  The concept is exactly the kind of movie I'd like to see, but the execution looks terrible.
 
2012-10-29 06:03:19 PM
To those saying this isn't a giant piece of shiat: You're the reason movies like this are made. Likewise you're the reason movies are shiat.
 
2012-10-29 06:04:05 PM
 
2012-10-29 06:04:42 PM
So, witches=vampires now?

Or witches=zombies?

/confused
 
2012-10-29 06:05:20 PM

d23: Hensel and Grettel.. They're COPS!


or Grimms
 
2012-10-29 06:05:23 PM
That was rad when he went into slow motion as he bent backwards to avoid an object coming at him. It's surprising that no one had thought of that before.
 
2012-10-29 06:05:42 PM
media30.onsugar.com
 
2012-10-29 06:06:18 PM

Karne: That was rad when he went into slow motion as he bent backwards to avoid an object coming at him. It's surprising that no one had thought of that before.


I loved those "Kung Fu" movies as a kid.
 
2012-10-29 06:06:49 PM
Well, I agree it's no Twilight, Subby, but come on. You're angry at Hollywood for this movie? Subba please.
 
2012-10-29 06:08:29 PM
No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No...
 
2012-10-29 06:11:07 PM

StoPPeRmobile: [media30.onsugar.com image 550x368]


Ha!

/+1
 
2012-10-29 06:11:07 PM
If it didn't have such high production values, I'd swear this was an SNL spoof.

I'm still not quite convinced it is a real movie, and not a very well done hoax.

WTF!!!
 
2012-10-29 06:11:30 PM
Looks like a nice piece of mindless fun. I'll give it a whirl when it's available on DVD.
 
2012-10-29 06:12:13 PM
So, it's 2013's Robin Hood?

/Uh, dude?
 
2012-10-29 06:12:18 PM

quizzical: Really, Hawkeye? You're making Avengers money now, and this is the best script you could get?


he's making supporting-cast avengers money. he wasn't exactly a headlining cast member. unlike Sam Jackson, or Gregg Clark, or much of the rest of the supporting actors, he doesn't have as much side stuff to fall back on(Jackson's racked up a nice pile of money from being in EVERYTHING, Clark's busier than a one-legged man in a foot-fetishist club, and most of the other recognizable supporting cast are all from various TV shows or have pretty reliable careers.)

and, he's probably doing the 'oh i'm gonna do what looks interesting to me' thing right now.
 
2012-10-29 06:13:00 PM
Wow, the writing is exceptionally bad in that trailer, even by Hollywood standards. Burn Hollywood, burn!

/ you still can't remember the first verse, can you?
 
2012-10-29 06:13:09 PM

buttery_shame_cave: so... basically this is a story where *deep breath*

van helsing meets snow white and they have babies who are hansel and gretel who wind up surviving the candy house incident because van helsing had his friend the tailor teach them giant slaying kung fu and they teamed up with Q from james bond's great great great great grandfather so he could build them gadgets that his apprentice nikolai tesla designs(but doesn't get any credit, cause fark that tesla dude), and they go around hunting witches for profit until they find the last surviving witch who gave her heart to the evil king and now they have to lead the commoners in a revolt against the king only the only way to kill the king is to slay the witch who's now become like a mother figure to them, but she gives her life in a final blaze of heroic glory and floats up to the heavens and becomes a star that watches down on everyone and then arthur throws excalibur into the lake while his roman soldiers get to ride home.

*gaaaasp*


Hell, if it was THAT good, there's a chance I'd go to see it.
 
2012-10-29 06:16:04 PM

ciberido: The concept is exactly the kind of movie I'd like to see, but the execution looks terrible.


Sadly, I think I agree.
 
2012-10-29 06:19:29 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2012-10-29 06:19:42 PM
Wait... so Gretel, the ACTUAL witch killer from the story... gets kidnapped while her lazy dim brother from the same story is the hero. You've already isolated me, Hollywood.
 
2012-10-29 06:20:46 PM
So...there were heavy metal rock bands in the late 16th century, good to know
 
2012-10-29 06:25:41 PM

IlGreven: Actually, I'd like to see this version of the story released:

Bella's first boyfriend from Twilight and the daughter from Castle are potheads who are lured in by special herb made by an old hag, played appropriately by Lara Flynn Boyle.


thanks for the head's up on that! hadn't heard of that yet
 
2012-10-29 06:26:00 PM
That looks really bad.

However, I will watch anything with Peter Stormare so I will see this
 
2012-10-29 06:26:49 PM

StoPPeRmobile: [media30.onsugar.com image 550x368]


I recognize the three actors sitting in front, but who are the three men sitting behind them?
 
2012-10-29 06:30:44 PM

The only thing that would be better would be:

Hansel & Gretel Part 2 - Hansel & Gretel Join the A-Team
 
2012-10-29 06:31:31 PM
Jeremy Renner I am a disappoint.
 
2012-10-29 06:34:27 PM
I'd probably watch it on cable, but not at theatre prices.
 
2012-10-29 06:36:27 PM
Actually looks like fun. Course the last monster killer movie was BIG bust...
 
2012-10-29 06:37:19 PM

i_dig_chicks: Jeremy Renner I am a disappoint.


Why? His face is big mushy lump of bland. Much like his personality.
 
2012-10-29 06:37:34 PM

i_dig_chicks: Jeremy Renner I am a disappoint.


To be fair, I don't think he's ever impressed anyone.
 
2012-10-29 06:43:50 PM

scottydoesntknow: So it's an R rated Van Helsing?

Meh, I'll probably watch it when it hits DVD.


No, THIS is the new Van Helsing.
 
2012-10-29 06:44:21 PM

JohnCarter: So...there were heavy metal rock bands in the late 16th century, good to know


Well, they actually had them in the 14th century too, if you remember A Knight's Tale.

This looks like a workable concept except that Gemma Arteton's delivery is terrrrrribbbbllllle.
Has she actually been good in anything, ever?

/when I say "workable concept" I'm not denying it would be a long shot
//Stardust did comedy + medieval fantasy pitch perfectly, but that was a Gaiman story
 
2012-10-29 06:45:11 PM

propasaurus: scottydoesntknow: So it's an R rated Van Helsing?

Meh, I'll probably watch it when it hits DVD.

No, THIS is the new Van Helsing.


Damn bad link

No, THIS is the new Van Helsing.
 
2012-10-29 06:46:34 PM
How about Hansel and Gretal are prisoners of a renegade Nazi rocket commander who plans to wrap Hansel in an erotic plastic and shoot him into space. And it turns out Gretel is acting as an Allied spy?

Nah, it would never work.
 
2012-10-29 06:47:29 PM
Well, as a Gemma Arterton fan I can... Okay, yeah, I can wait for the DVD. I've liked her acting after Prince of Persia and Clash of the Titans (although she played essentially the same role in each) but, at the same time, I question her taste in action/adventure scripts.

/A good actor can make a bad movie watchable.
 
2012-10-29 06:48:14 PM

Canton: Well, as a Gemma Arterton fan I can... Okay, yeah, I can wait for the DVD. I've liked her acting after since Prince of Persia and Clash of the Titans (although she played essentially the same role in each) but, at the same time, I question her taste in action/adventure scripts.

/A good actor can make a bad movie watchable.


//ftfm
 
2012-10-29 06:49:05 PM

ciberido: StoPPeRmobile: [media30.onsugar.com image 550x368]

I recognize the three actors sitting in front, but who are the three men sitting behind them?


Well, they are probably producers because the one on the far left is Sean Hayes from "Will & Grace" fame, one of the show's producers.
 
2012-10-29 06:49:57 PM

Seth'n'Spectrum: Well, they actually had them in the 14th century too, if you remember A Knight's Tale.


Wasn't that David Bowie?

That movie sucked. Watched it on TV on a boring day; and then only because of Heath Ledger.

/he was pretty
 
2012-10-29 06:53:21 PM
This could have been good, if Joss Whedon had written and directed it. As it is, yeah, Van Helsing with boobs.
 
2012-10-29 07:01:59 PM

Seth'n'Spectrum: This looks like a workable concept except that Gemma Arteton's delivery is terrrrrribbbbllllle.
Has she actually been good in anything, ever?


Yes
 
2012-10-29 07:02:42 PM

Lionel Mandrake: [encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com image 203x248]

DO NOT APPROVE


They aren't the battling, bickering, Bernoulli brothers. Who the hell are they?

/my mind mimics mush
 
2012-10-29 07:05:38 PM

CapeFearCadaver: That movie sucked. Watched it on TV on a boring day; and then only because of Heath Ledger.

/he was pretty


So was Shannon Sossamon. What happened to her career anyways? She wasn't bad at all.

Teufelaffe: Yes


Will add to list.
 
2012-10-29 07:11:19 PM
Looks like the Matrix meets Grimm's Tales.
 
2012-10-29 07:12:11 PM

Snapper Carr: That looks really bad.

However, I will watch anything with Peter Stormare so I will see this


Likewise.

Yomikeyvantustounpimpthingthingletmehearyousayvat
 
2012-10-29 07:14:05 PM
Hey, another movie tinted entirely in blue and orange!
 
2012-10-29 07:15:21 PM

GoodyearPimp: To those saying this isn't a giant piece of shiat: You're the reason movies like this are made. Likewise you're the reason movies are shiat.


I like the power.
 
2012-10-29 07:17:11 PM

DemDave: Didn't they already make this movie with Matt Damon and Heath Ledger?


Also, 

www.cyberpunkreview.com 

i.imgur.com
 
2012-10-29 07:26:50 PM
I'll probably see it. Gotta support the local boy in his acting endeavors.
 
2012-10-29 07:36:42 PM
Ha-ha! that looks stupid and possibly fun, but probably they'll fark it up and it'll just be stupid.
 
2012-10-29 07:38:24 PM

dprathbun: Lionel Mandrake: [encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com image 203x248]

DO NOT APPROVE

They aren't the battling, bickering, Bernoulli brothers. Who the hell are they?

/my mind mimics mush


the brothers Grimm, i believe.

Seth'n'Spectrum: CapeFearCadaver: That movie sucked. Watched it on TV on a boring day; and then only because of Heath Ledger.

/he was pretty

So was Shannon Sossamon. What happened to her career anyways? She wasn't bad at all.

.


she's been around, here, there. not working a TON, but working. mostly in more 'independant' material, kinda/sorta/notreally artsy, but not a ton of major release stuff.

and i seem to recall she's a drummer and a DJ, so prolly doing stuff with that too.
 
2012-10-29 07:39:10 PM

scottydoesntknow: So it's an R rated Van Helsing?

Meh, I'll probably watch it when it hits DVD.


Sirboss37: I think it looks fun... will wait for DVD though


Canton: Well, as a Gemma Arterton fan I can... Okay, yeah, I can wait for the DVD.


ALL OF YOU: TURN IN YOUR GEEK CARD.

If you haven't upgraded to Blu-ray by now I don't know why you're on the internet!
 
2012-10-29 07:41:25 PM
IMDB has it showing as PG-13.
 
2012-10-29 07:44:18 PM
fark you Taluca Lake!!!! Why are we cussing at cities now? I don't really care, it's fun.
 
2012-10-29 07:50:32 PM

peterthx:
ALL OF YOU: TURN IN YOUR GEEK CARD.

If you haven't upgraded to Blu-ray by now I don't know why you're on the internet!


Geeks tend to be the early adopters of cool new technologies but unlike the mostly positive factors of DVD they largely skipped the blu-ray generation. You're probably more of a "big bang theory fan" geek.

25.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-10-29 07:59:04 PM

Snapper Carr: That looks really bad.

However, I will watch anything with Peter Stormare so I will see this


i231.photobucket.com
 
2012-10-29 07:59:31 PM

the opposite of charity is justice: Geeks tend to be the early adopters of cool new technologies but unlike the mostly positive factors of DVD they largely skipped the blu-ray generation. You're probably more of a "big bang theory fan" geek.


That doesn't make a lick of sense.

pocketnow.com
 
2012-10-29 08:02:07 PM
Amazon Frog is not Impressed

images.nationalgeographic.com
 
2012-10-29 08:07:10 PM

peterthx: scottydoesntknow: So it's an R rated Van Helsing?

Meh, I'll probably watch it when it hits DVD.

Sirboss37: I think it looks fun... will wait for DVD though

Canton: Well, as a Gemma Arterton fan I can... Okay, yeah, I can wait for the DVD.

ALL OF YOU: TURN IN YOUR GEEK CARD.

If you haven't upgraded to Blu-ray by now I don't know why you're on the internet!


Too may letters... Figured Blu-ray was implied... And I'm more of a book nerd than a geek...
 
2012-10-29 08:11:25 PM

peterthx: scottydoesntknow: So it's an R rated Van Helsing?

Meh, I'll probably watch it when it hits DVD.

Sirboss37: I think it looks fun... will wait for DVD though

Canton: Well, as a Gemma Arterton fan I can... Okay, yeah, I can wait for the DVD.

ALL OF YOU: TURN IN YOUR GEEK CARD.

If you haven't upgraded to Blu-ray by now I don't know why you're on the internet!


Dude, I watch movies on my laptop. It plays DVDs. Why should I pay more for a separate Blu-ray player, a television (I don't have one), and then more for Blu-Ray discs? I am a poor college student geek who doesn't watch enough movies to justify Netflix, and I like to have physical copies of my media. Used or cheap DVDs are a good way to go.

Sheesh.
 
2012-10-29 08:29:45 PM
quizzical
Really, Hawkeye? You're making Avengers money now, and this is the best script you could get?


Doesn't seem so different from Avengers; he just seems to be wearing a shirt under his black gear and seems to be more into non-existing crossbows than a non-existing bow to splatter hordes of monsters.
 
2012-10-29 08:30:45 PM

scottydoesntknow: So it's an R rated Van Helsing?

Meh, I'll probably watch it when it hits DVD.


OMG that was my thought - I told my husband that the trailer had the same feel to it as VH (which
we both loved)
 
2012-10-29 08:33:28 PM

ThatDarkFellow: "We kill witches, what do you do?"

Seriously. That isn't even the good kind of cheesy. At least in Wanted it fit with the context. I'm sure we'll see Beauty and the Beast retooled with Belle as the lone demon hunter chasing after the one thing that murdered her family, the Beast...or so she thought! *BOOM* Belle shooting akimbo style, running upside from the ceiling while Rage Against the Machine plays in the background.


The Beauty and the Beast TV series (the one w/ Linda Hamilton) has already been re-made
into this horribly god-awful twenty-something angsty thing starring the chick that played Lana
in Smallville.
 
2012-10-29 08:35:01 PM

The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: Obviously this movie is preposterous because Hansel and Gretel never weigh any of the witches before they kill them.


Damn you! Do you even KNOW how uncomfortable it is to snort jamocha milk shake out of your nose?
 
2012-10-29 08:35:41 PM
Doesn't look that awful to me, but they mis cast the lead male. Should have either had the "THIS IS MY BOOM STICK" guy from the army of darkness. That would have rocked. But still, doesn't look too horrible.
 
2012-10-29 08:43:13 PM

Bit'O'Gristle: Doesn't look that awful to me, but they mis cast the lead male. Should have either had the "THIS IS MY BOOM STICK" guy from the army of darkness. That would have rocked. But still, doesn't look too horrible.


His name is Bruce Campbell.

/you're welcome
 
2012-10-29 08:48:56 PM
Watches trailer.
Reads thread.
*involuntary eye twitch*

/Well, at least it will compress well being that it was lit via set of Christmas lights.
 
2012-10-29 08:50:42 PM

Canton: Dude, I watch movies on my laptop. It plays DVDs. Why should I pay more for a separate Blu-ray player, a television (I don't have one), and then more for Blu-Ray discs? I am a poor college student geek who doesn't watch enough movies to justify Netflix, and I like to have physical copies of my media. Used or cheap DVDs are a good way to go.


Used & rental BDs are cheap too.

I've had a BD-ROM drive in my laptop since late 2007.
 
2012-10-29 08:56:06 PM
What, no neopagan whining about killing witches?
 
2012-10-29 09:00:44 PM
Yeah, they probably won't be showing this at the Cinema Salem in Salem, MA.
 
2012-10-29 09:03:56 PM
Yes! Looks awesome. Subby, enjoy watching "Casablanca" for the 11,000 time on that 16mm projector your gam-gam bought you when you were 7.
 
2012-10-29 09:10:08 PM

Maynotlast: Yes! Looks awesome. Subby, enjoy watching "Casablanca" for the 11,000 time on that 16mm projector your gam-gam bought you when you were 7.


If by "Subby, enjoy watching "Casablanca" for the 11,000 time on that 16mm projector your gam-gam bought you when you were 7." you mean a movie that isn't another lazy rehash of a fairy tale to meet this months over-saturated bullshiat quota that saps $11 from everyone for a script that the previews presented as written by a bunch of 14 year olds that just saw the Matrix for the first time, then yes, yes I will.
 
2012-10-29 09:11:24 PM
 
2012-10-29 09:13:12 PM
"I say burn 'em all",
F$ck Yea! Now just make another one that does the same for all the vampires and werewolves from Twilight!
 
2012-10-29 09:29:33 PM

ThatDarkFellow: Maynotlast: Yes! Looks awesome. Subby, enjoy watching "Casablanca" for the 11,000 time on that 16mm projector your gam-gam bought you when you were 7.

If by "Subby, enjoy watching "Casablanca" for the 11,000 time on that 16mm projector your gam-gam bought you when you were 7." you mean a movie that isn't another lazy rehash of a fairy tale to meet this months over-saturated bullshiat quota that saps $11 from everyone for a script that the previews presented as written by a bunch of 14 year olds that just saw the Matrix for the first time, then yes, yes I will.


Casablanca was a lazy rehash of a play. ;)
 
2012-10-29 09:30:08 PM
Next up:

Humpty Dumpty: Zombie Slayer.
 
2012-10-29 09:42:42 PM

CapeFearCadaver: Meh.

I'm going to go ahead and call it though... the blonde he falls in love with is going to end up being a witch.


Yup, I got that too.
 
2012-10-29 09:45:50 PM
looks fun.

why people have such chapped asses about something not very important is beyond me
 
2012-10-29 09:46:04 PM

RatOmeter: CapeFearCadaver: Meh.

I'm going to go ahead and call it though... the blonde he falls in love with is going to end up being a witch.

Yup, I got that too.


Ah, but is she going to be A) Actually a good witch, B) A bad witch and he eventually has to kill her, or C) A bad witch to start with, but she either stops being a witch or becomes a good witch for love?
 
2012-10-29 09:57:52 PM

Teufelaffe: Ah, but is she going to be A) Actually a good witch, B) A bad witch and he eventually has to kill her, or C) A bad witch to start with, but she either stops being a witch or becomes a good witch for love?


You forgot D) Dumps him for Gretel

i1127.photobucket.com
 
2012-10-29 10:08:23 PM

digitalrain: The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: Obviously this movie is preposterous because Hansel and Gretel never weigh any of the witches before they kill them.

Damn you! Do you even KNOW how uncomfortable it is to snort jamocha milk shake out of your nose?


Well, clearly they must be using some more advanced wood-detection technology than cumbersome scales.
 
2012-10-29 10:11:23 PM
according to wiki:

Filming began in March 2011 and is taking place in Potsdam Babelsberg and in the city of Braunschweig, Germany.[13][14] On December 3, 2011, Entertainment Weekly released the first publicity photo of the film.[15] Initially slated for a March 2, 2012 release, Paramount Pictures pushed it to a ten month delay for January 11, 2013.[16]

so they actually made this last year and delayed it for almost a year. that's always a good sign.
 
2012-10-29 10:12:46 PM

Snapper Carr: Teufelaffe: Ah, but is she going to be A) Actually a good witch, B) A bad witch and he eventually has to kill her, or C) A bad witch to start with, but she either stops being a witch or becomes a good witch for love?

You forgot D) Dumps him for Gretel

[i1127.photobucket.com image 345x406]

Please

let it be D. Oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh...
 
2012-10-29 10:20:49 PM
If they're grown-ups, shouldn't they drop the childlike diminutive endings and just be called Hans and Greta?
 
2012-10-29 11:12:19 PM
Okay, so it's no "Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter", and it's not as good as "Krull" or "Conan the Destroyer", and the acting's not quite as good as "Friday 13th- Jason Takes Manhatten"- but, jeez, at least- umm, what was I saying again?
 
2012-10-29 11:17:23 PM

Maynotlast: Yes! Looks awesome. Subby, enjoy watching "Casablanca" for the 11,000 time on that 16mm projector your gam-gam bought you when you were 7.


If you were trying to make a clever point, you failed miserably.
 
2012-10-29 11:18:33 PM

Canton: peterthx: scottydoesntknow: So it's an R rated Van Helsing?

Meh, I'll probably watch it when it hits DVD.

Sirboss37: I think it looks fun... will wait for DVD though

Canton: Well, as a Gemma Arterton fan I can... Okay, yeah, I can wait for the DVD.

ALL OF YOU: TURN IN YOUR GEEK CARD.

If you haven't upgraded to Blu-ray by now I don't know why you're on the internet!

Dude, I watch movies on my laptop. It plays DVDs. Why should I pay more for a separate Blu-ray player, a television (I don't have one), and then more for Blu-Ray discs? I am a poor college student geek who doesn't watch enough movies to justify Netflix, and I like to have physical copies of my media. Used or cheap DVDs are a good way to go.

Sheesh.


Mostly this. I'm long past college age but I only have a TV in the house because my fiancée owns it. Until Blu-Ray players and discs come down to DVD price, I'll say "no thanks".
 
2012-10-29 11:31:08 PM

JonBuck: Looks very silly to me. And probably intentionally.


The children's portraits on the milk bottles was a bit of a giveaway.
 
2012-10-29 11:32:11 PM

arashinogarou:
Mostly this. I'm long past college age but I only have a TV in the house because my fiancée owns it. Until Blu-Ray players and discs come down to DVD price, I'll say "no thanks".


They've been "DVD price" for years now. No excuses.
 
2012-10-29 11:47:12 PM
By the time Blu-ray becomes DVD cheap, everyone will have skipped straight to non-physical media altogether.
 
2012-10-29 11:48:21 PM

peterthx: arashinogarou:
Mostly this. I'm long past college age but I only have a TV in the house because my fiancée owns it. Until Blu-Ray players and discs come down to DVD price, I'll say "no thanks".

They've been "DVD price" for years now. No excuses.


^^This^^

You know that Wal Mart $5 DVD bin? Now they have a $7 BluRay bin next to it. I picked up Kill Bill Vol 1 & 2, Three Amigos, Highlander, and Brothers Grimm the other day, thanks to that bin.
 
2012-10-29 11:56:10 PM
 
2012-10-30 01:59:28 AM
So take the premise of Hansel and Gretel and then TOSS IT ALL out the window. and create new story?

name new story something new maybe?
 
2012-10-30 03:25:02 AM
Side note, why the fark is youtube sucking..so..badly. Its slow.. 720p is not reliable.. and now many inline videos actually STOP and pop up the suggection window in the middle of the clip, reacting as if the clip had ended.
 
2012-10-30 06:24:00 AM
Looks a tad better than Hunger Games.
 
2012-10-30 07:11:17 AM
BOOOOooooooo!
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-10-30 07:43:18 AM
Subby:


i70.photobucket.com
 
2012-10-30 10:13:40 AM

scottydoesntknow: So it's an R rated Van Helsing?

Meh, I'll probably watch it when it hits DVD.


Sirboss37: I think it looks fun... will wait for DVD though


what is a DVD? could you use that in a sentence please. also, what is the country of origin?
 
2012-10-30 10:41:24 AM
1. You can pick up a Blu-ray Disc player at Kmart or Walmart for about $59 these days.

2. I always pictured Hansel and Gretel as fat little German kids who stuffed their faces full of candy and sweets whenever they could, and who only escaped the witch due to sheer luck and circumstance (and stupidity on the part of the witch) so they could return to the joyful task of eating the poor old hag's house.
 
2012-10-30 01:20:57 PM
What next? Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter?
 
2012-10-30 04:01:29 PM

The All-Powerful Atheismo: exick: Jeremy Renner, Gemma Aterton, Peter Stormare, Famke Janssen

Literally no one has a problem with this.

Except homosexuals, and subby.


You say them as if they're mutually exclusive.
 
2012-10-30 08:51:44 PM

peterthx: arashinogarou:
Mostly this. I'm long past college age but I only have a TV in the house because my fiancée owns it. Until Blu-Ray players and discs come down to DVD price, I'll say "no thanks".

They've been "DVD price" for years now. No excuses.


A select few titles are near the high end of DVD prices, but that's not what I mean. I mean, title for title, the Blu-Ray version has to be at parity with the DVD. Also, the players are still too high. The cheapest Blu-Ray players are still in the $50 range, and they are crappier than the $20 Family Dollar brand DVD players.
 
2012-10-30 08:57:11 PM

arashinogarou: peterthx: arashinogarou:
Mostly this. I'm long past college age but I only have a TV in the house because my fiancée owns it. Until Blu-Ray players and discs come down to DVD price, I'll say "no thanks".

They've been "DVD price" for years now. No excuses.

A select few titles are near the high end of DVD prices, but that's not what I mean. I mean, title for title, the Blu-Ray version has to be at parity with the DVD. Also, the players are still too high. The cheapest Blu-Ray players are still in the $50 range, and they are crappier than the $20 Family Dollar brand DVD players.


So you want quality for crap prices, a good restaurant steak for a cheap McDs burger. Not a realistic expectation there.

For the rest of the "mainstream" Blu-ray isn't a premium.
 
2012-10-30 09:21:33 PM

peterthx: arashinogarou: peterthx: arashinogarou:
Mostly this. I'm long past college age but I only have a TV in the house because my fiancée owns it. Until Blu-Ray players and discs come down to DVD price, I'll say "no thanks".

They've been "DVD price" for years now. No excuses.

A select few titles are near the high end of DVD prices, but that's not what I mean. I mean, title for title, the Blu-Ray version has to be at parity with the DVD. Also, the players are still too high. The cheapest Blu-Ray players are still in the $50 range, and they are crappier than the $20 Family Dollar brand DVD players.

So you want quality for crap prices, a good restaurant steak for a cheap McDs burger. Not a realistic expectation there.

For the rest of the "mainstream" Blu-ray isn't a premium.


Interesting, so you admit your original statement "They've been 'DVD price' for years now" was bullshiat, since that means they're McDonald's price and therefore beneath you? You make no sense, man.
 
2012-10-30 09:23:30 PM

peterthx: arashinogarou: peterthx: arashinogarou:
Mostly this. I'm long past college age but I only have a TV in the house because my fiancée owns it. Until Blu-Ray players and discs come down to DVD price, I'll say "no thanks".

They've been "DVD price" for years now. No excuses.

A select few titles are near the high end of DVD prices, but that's not what I mean. I mean, title for title, the Blu-Ray version has to be at parity with the DVD. Also, the players are still too high. The cheapest Blu-Ray players are still in the $50 range, and they are crappier than the $20 Family Dollar brand DVD players.

So you want quality for crap prices, a good restaurant steak for a cheap McDs burger. Not a realistic expectation there.

For the rest of the "mainstream" Blu-ray isn't a premium.


(Gotta stop hitting that "Add Comment" button before I'm done.)

More to the point, that's not a valid comparison. There was a time when DVD players were several hundred dollars and the discs were $30 a pop, but the quality was still far better than VHS. It's no different now. Your strawman argument is invalid.
 
2012-10-30 09:58:43 PM

arashinogarou: More to the point, that's not a valid comparison. There was a time when DVD BD players were several hundred dollars and the discs were $30 a pop, but the quality was still far better than VHS DVD. It's no different now. Your strawman My argument is invalid.


Fixed.
 
2012-10-31 12:35:36 AM

peterthx: arashinogarou: More to the point, that's not a valid comparison. There was a time when DVD BD players were several hundred dollars and the discs were $30 a pop, but the quality was still far better than VHS DVD. It's no different now. Your strawman My argument is invalid.

Fixed.


Seriously? So you are trying to say with a straight face that DVDs and DVD players were always cheap and so were BD players/discs? You just invalidated your original argument.

I take it you were either a child (or perhaps not even born) when DVDs first hit the market, or you were living in a cave somewhere. My first DVD player in late 1999 was over $200 and it was a mid-tier player. The very first DVD I bought was on sale for $19.98 at Best Buy (Leon (The Professional)), regular price was around $24 if I remember right. And that movie was already several years old.

Here's a Wikipedia quote if you're interested:

"Prices for the first players in 1997 were $1000 and up. By the end of 2000, players were available for under $100 at discount retailers. In 2003 players became available for under $50."

We're just now starting to get to the point with BD that we were in 2003 with DVD, and over about the same time span (Blu-Ray was officially released to consumers in 2006).

Next time you want to rewrite history kid, try it on someone who wasn't already an adult when the technology was born.
 
2012-10-31 12:51:21 AM

arashinogarou: Next time you want to rewrite history kid, try it on someone who wasn't already an adult when the technology was born.


cyberbrethren.com

I could be cliche and say I've forgotten more about DVD than you know but that would be redundant.

I was *trying* to make you understand Blu-ray is a mainstream product, with mainstream pricing. Has been since 2010 or so.
DVD players below $50 back then were shiat. $50-$90 is not a high price to play for a decent player of any format. Good titles can be found for $9.99 or less.
If you can't buy one you're either poor or just plain cheap.
 
2012-10-31 02:13:36 AM

peterthx: arashinogarou: Next time you want to rewrite history kid, try it on someone who wasn't already an adult when the technology was born.

[cyberbrethren.com image 256x256]

I could be cliche and say I've forgotten more about DVD than you know but that would be redundant.

I was *trying* to make you understand Blu-ray is a mainstream product, with mainstream pricing. Has been since 2010 or so.
DVD players below $50 back then were shiat. $50-$90 is not a high price to play for a decent player of any format. Good titles can be found for $9.99 or less.
If you can't buy one you're either poor or just plain cheap.


Fair enough, you have as much intimate knowledge of my experience with the technology as I do with yours. Point taken there.

However, I never said I can't afford to buy into Blu-Ray; I simply choose not to at this time. And I'm far from alone. Look up stats on Blu-Ray adoption compared to DVD adoption over their respective life spans and prepare to have your eyes opened. The curve is just now starting to pick up for the new tech.

I own a very nice TV that is 720p/1080i maximum resolution. This TV is large enough to make my living room look like a small theater, was fairly expensive when new, and has an amazing picture with many years of life left in it. I have zero incentive to adopt Blu-Ray until that TV dies and I replace it with a 1080p unit. I'm not an early adopter when it comes to consumer products; I prefer to save my money and upgrade a little at a time. In fact, if I were a Playstation guy instead of an Xbox guy for gaming, I'd likely already have a small collection of Blu-Ray discs just because I had a built-in player. But I don't, and I don't see the need for the redundancy right now.

The fact that you seem to take deep issue with my financial and entertainment choices says a lot about your insecurity over your own lifestyle. Why don't you stop projecting onto me and just enjoy what you have?
 
2012-10-31 04:24:59 PM

arashinogarou: peterthx: arashinogarou: Next time you want to rewrite history kid, try it on someone who wasn't already an adult when the technology was born.

[cyberbrethren.com image 256x256]

I could be cliche and say I've forgotten more about DVD than you know but that would be redundant.

I was *trying* to make you understand Blu-ray is a mainstream product, with mainstream pricing. Has been since 2010 or so.
DVD players below $50 back then were shiat. $50-$90 is not a high price to play for a decent player of any format. Good titles can be found for $9.99 or less.
If you can't buy one you're either poor or just plain cheap.

Fair enough, you have as much intimate knowledge of my experience with the technology as I do with yours. Point taken there.

However, I never said I can't afford to buy into Blu-Ray; I simply choose not to at this time. And I'm far from alone. Look up stats on Blu-Ray adoption compared to DVD adoption over their respective life spans and prepare to have your eyes opened. The curve is just now starting to pick up for the new tech.

I own a very nice TV that is 720p/1080i maximum resolution. This TV is large enough to make my living room look like a small theater, was fairly expensive when new, and has an amazing picture with many years of life left in it. I have zero incentive to adopt Blu-Ray until that TV dies and I replace it with a 1080p unit. I'm not an early adopter when it comes to consumer products; I prefer to save my money and upgrade a little at a time. In fact, if I were a Playstation guy instead of an Xbox guy for gaming, I'd likely already have a small collection of Blu-Ray discs just because I had a built-in player. But I don't, and I don't see the need for the redundancy right now.

The fact that you seem to take deep issue with my financial and entertainment choices says a lot about your insecurity over your own lifestyle. Why don't you stop projecting onto me and just enjoy what you have?


Just going to jump in here and say that waiting until you get 1080p isn't necessary as you probably won't be able to tell the difference and if you're able to it will only be just barely
 
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