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(Daily Mail)   Bad: Pub regular dies in the bathroom. Good: Pub owner finds him before he closes for the night. FARK: Owner hides the body in a bedroom for four days so he won't miss out on the weekend business   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 43
    More: Sick, Jason Chidgey, South Wales, Mark Howell  
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4215 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Oct 2012 at 2:32 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



43 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-10-29 12:29:17 PM
He could've at least propped him up against the bar and done this Bernie's style.
 
2012-10-29 12:31:16 PM
I would have used the walk-in cooler.
 
2012-10-29 01:24:52 PM
He could have just left him propped up on the toilet.
 
2012-10-29 02:00:33 PM
This isn't a problem, it's the Norm.
 
2012-10-29 02:34:21 PM

I_Am_Weasel: This isn't a problem, it's the Norm.


+eleventy, and a pint of stout.
 
2012-10-29 02:35:17 PM
Is this the plot of Sean of the Dead II?
 
2012-10-29 02:36:51 PM
www.viewaskew.com
 
2012-10-29 02:38:36 PM
Pub in question?

images1.fanpop.com

/Hot
 
2012-10-29 02:39:09 PM
So alcohol poisoning is natural cause is that part of the world. Fascinating.
 
2012-10-29 02:39:23 PM

Uzzah: [www.viewaskew.com image 320x240]



And we're done here.
 
2012-10-29 02:39:50 PM
The regular may have wanted it that way.
 
2012-10-29 02:41:01 PM

Uzzah: [www.viewaskew.com image 320x240]


2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-10-29 02:41:26 PM

naughtyrev: He could've at least propped him up against the bar and done this Bernie's style.


api.ning.com
 
2012-10-29 02:45:05 PM
Do you think any of the other regulars asked about why they haven't seen the dead guy around lately?
 
2012-10-29 02:46:17 PM
Keep it warm, for Morn
 
2012-10-29 02:46:47 PM

green4mice: Do you think any of the other regulars asked about why they haven't seen the dead guy around lately?


Do you think it would kill you to RTFA?
 
2012-10-29 02:51:07 PM
24.media.tumblr.com
Hopefully they have a guy to do the Charlie work of hosing off the booth.
 
2012-10-29 02:51:24 PM

Dwangerous: green4mice: Do you think any of the other regulars asked about why they haven't seen the dead guy around lately?

Do you think it would kill you to RTFA?


Did you think he might be posting from a pub bathroom?

/We just can't take that chance.
 
2012-10-29 02:52:23 PM

Dwangerous: green4mice: Do you think any of the other regulars asked about why they haven't seen the dead guy around lately?

Do you think it would kill you to RTFA?


Like I have the attention span to do that
 
2012-10-29 02:53:06 PM
I guess the guy didn't have a hot granddaughter?

images.tvrage.com
 
2012-10-29 02:53:26 PM
NORM!
 
2012-10-29 02:56:15 PM

Leeds


Is this the plot of Sean of the Dead II?


SHAUN.
SHAUN.
Not 'Sean'.
SHAUN.
 
2012-10-29 03:02:27 PM
In the bedroom? eww.
 
2012-10-29 03:02:33 PM
"The court heard Mr Howells died of natural causes due to alcohol poisoning."

Alcohol poisoning is considered a natural cause of death?
 
2012-10-29 03:02:54 PM
"Weekend at Barney's" (The Simpsons). Barney dies in the bathroom at Moe's. Moe finds him while closing for the night but hides the body in a bedroom for four days so he won't miss out on the weekend business. Homer finds Barney's body, thinks Moe is killing the pub regulars and then the craziness begins.

I missed that episode but I can always catch up on www.alt-universe-tv.com. They have all the shows. ALL of the shows, even the ones that didn't get made, such as the version of How I Met Your Mother starring Bill Shatner.

Somewhere out there is a universe where Firefly was never cancelled, Invader Zim is in its seventh season, and The Simpsons are still as good as they were in the First or Fifth season or whichever one it is that Simpsons haters liked. In other words, every hipster, whiner and fan-boy has his own personal Hell.

Have you seen the one where Al Gore owns Fox News? Spooky.
 
2012-10-29 03:03:36 PM
No HERO tag?
 
2012-10-29 03:05:23 PM

AugieDoggyDaddy: "The court heard Mr Howells died of natural causes due to alcohol poisoning."

Alcohol poisoning is considered a natural cause of death?


It is for some of us.
 
2012-10-29 03:11:04 PM
This is the best kind of elaborate farce.
 
2012-10-29 03:22:23 PM
Fark if I died that way I'd hold no ill will towards the bar keep( I mean theoretically, being dead and all). Same if I was his family. He's dead. Who gives a rat's ass if the body goes in a grave today or four days from now? I mean I could see being a little upset because you couldn't start the wake earlier.
 
2012-10-29 03:25:09 PM

meh...: Fark if I died that way I'd hold no ill will towards the bar keep( I mean theoretically, being dead and all). Same if I was his family. He's dead. Who gives a rat's ass if the body goes in a grave today or four days from now? I mean I could see being a little upset because you couldn't start the wake earlier.


The smell might come into play after 4 days...
 
2012-10-29 03:28:05 PM
Not very creative. First off, they could have had a Halloween party...and dressed him up as a zombie prop. Nobody would have noticed.

or

naughtyrev: He could've at least propped him up against the bar and done this Bernie's style.


or the common sense approach

AdolfOliverPanties: I would have used the walk-in cooler.

 
2012-10-29 03:32:40 PM
standard business practice where I've worked and wouldn't surprise me a bit.

HE'S DEAD!
Yeah I know, I'll get to it Monday
 
2012-10-29 03:47:33 PM
i36.photobucket.com
 
2012-10-29 04:03:04 PM

meh...: Fark if I died that way I'd hold no ill will towards the bar keep( I mean theoretically, being dead and all). Same if I was his family. He's dead. Who gives a rat's ass if the body goes in a grave today or four days from now? I mean I could see being a little upset because you couldn't start the wake earlier.


Yeah but the open casket is going to be difficult with all those marker penises drawn on his face.
 
2012-10-29 04:06:26 PM

Leeds: meh...: Fark if I died that way I'd hold no ill will towards the bar keep( I mean theoretically, being dead and all). Same if I was his family. He's dead. Who gives a rat's ass if the body goes in a grave today or four days from now? I mean I could see being a little upset because you couldn't start the wake earlier.

The smell might come into play after 4 days...


True, true. The bar keep has to have some of cooler though. Though I guess since he hid the body in a first floor bedroom, he wasn't too concerned about any odors. Damn, that must have started smelling pretty ripe. I almost puke when I leave chicken skins in the kitchen garbage for two days.
 
2012-10-29 04:18:02 PM
Should the pub owner not have done that?
 
2012-10-29 04:20:19 PM

Snarfangel: AugieDoggyDaddy: "The court heard Mr Howells died of natural causes due to alcohol poisoning."

Alcohol poisoning is considered a natural cause of death?

It is for some of us.


Speak for yourself! Okay, well, at least I won't nreed so much embalming fluid.

It's not that I have a drinking problem, it's that I'm coping with a childhood trauma: sobriety.

Anyway. This is the "people are stupid" part of the article:

"The court heard that Chidgey almost got away with the scheme until Mrs Rees [the pub's cleaning lady] went to police after Mr Howell's funeral. Mrs Rees was 'suffering nightmares' about the customer's body in the upstairs room of the pub and made a full statement about the night of January 28 to police, the court heard."

So because some ditz was suffering nightmares she ratted out her friend & boss? About a guy who died on his own? C'mon, pubs are small businesses, unlike Starbucks: if they ain't makin' money the cleaning lady won't get paid. Sheesh. Who was hurt by this delay? The dead guy was already dead.

I don't care what y'all do with my dead carcass when I'm finished with it: for all I care stick me head-down in the dirt and use me for a planter.
 
2012-10-29 04:25:23 PM

meh...: Leeds: meh...: Fark if I died that way I'd hold no ill will towards the bar keep( I mean theoretically, being dead and all). Same if I was his family. He's dead. Who gives a rat's ass if the body goes in a grave today or four days from now? I mean I could see being a little upset because you couldn't start the wake earlier.

The smell might come into play after 4 days...

True, true. The bar keep has to have some of cooler though. Though I guess since he hid the body in a first floor bedroom, he wasn't too concerned about any odors. Damn, that must have started smelling pretty ripe. I almost puke when I leave chicken skins in the kitchen garbage for two days.


I hear you with the chicken. The worst smell I ever encountered was rotten chick\en.

My basement fridge went bad and I didn't realize it for about 2 weeks. When I finally discovered it, a 5lb sack of rotting chicken wings was in the freezer part and it smelled AWFUL. I couldn't do a damn thing about it though because even opening the door for a couple of seconds was enough to stink up the whole house for days.

So I did the only thing I could, I duct taped the doors shut and waited for fridge pickup day.

Fast forward about 6 months to when the large trash & refrigeration unit cleanup day was scheduled for my town. I put ropes around the fridge and I dragged the fridge up the outside basement stairs with the tractor. Then when I got it to the curb someone jogged by and mentioned that I had to take the doors off. Uh oh.

I cannot possibly describe just how terrible the next hour was for me. 6 month old rotting chicken is mostly liquid and the smell is something that I can't possibly describe. Let's just say that it's about as physically rough on the nose as snorting ajax and it's effects on the olfactory nerve are akin to jenkum made from pulverized skunk carcasses with a slight aftertaste/aftersmell similar to that of a rotting whale.

Fortunately I was able to dig a shallow grave right at my curb where I planted the bag of rotting chicken parts. It's been years now and I'm still petrified of digging anywhere near that spot.

// End SSB (smelly story, bro)
 
2012-10-29 04:54:53 PM
How bootstrappy.

/sounds like a scam
 
2012-10-29 04:58:23 PM

Leeds: meh...: Leeds: meh...: Fark if I died that way I'd hold no ill will towards the bar keep( I mean theoretically, being dead and all). Same if I was his family. He's dead. Who gives a rat's ass if the body goes in a grave today or four days from now? I mean I could see being a little upset because you couldn't start the wake earlier.

The smell might come into play after 4 days...

True, true. The bar keep has to have some of cooler though. Though I guess since he hid the body in a first floor bedroom, he wasn't too concerned about any odors. Damn, that must have started smelling pretty ripe. I almost puke when I leave chicken skins in the kitchen garbage for two days.

I hear you with the chicken. The worst smell I ever encountered was rotten chick\en.

My basement fridge went bad and I didn't realize it for about 2 weeks. When I finally discovered it, a 5lb sack of rotting chicken wings was in the freezer part and it smelled AWFUL. I couldn't do a damn thing about it though because even opening the door for a couple of seconds was enough to stink up the whole house for days.

So I did the only thing I could, I duct taped the doors shut and waited for fridge pickup day.

Fast forward about 6 months to when the large trash & refrigeration unit cleanup day was scheduled for my town. I put ropes around the fridge and I dragged the fridge up the outside basement stairs with the tractor. Then when I got it to the curb someone jogged by and mentioned that I had to take the doors off. Uh oh.

I cannot possibly describe just how terrible the next hour was for me. 6 month old rotting chicken is mostly liquid and the smell is something that I can't possibly describe. Let's just say that it's about as physically rough on the nose as snorting ajax and it's effects on the olfactory nerve are akin to jenkum made from pulverized skunk carcasses with a slight aftertaste/aftersmell similar to that of a rotting whale.

Fortunately I was able to dig a shallow grave right ...


Gott in Himmel that sounds just farking nasty. OK, I'm not trying to top you or anything (those of you with delicate constitutions might want to skip to the next post); but my horror story was dealing with my ex-wife's duplex in Central San Diego. She had squatters living here for about six months (you wouldn't believe what it takes to evict someone, legal tenant or not). Since the water was in her name she had it turned off, thinking that it might drive the rat bastards out. Nope. Turns out when we finally got them off the property, they were living like animals. I have pet pigs and trust me, they are far more sanitary then these "people". The toilet and tub was almost completely filed with human excrement. Blocked pipes from no water, excessive toilet paper and of course lots and lots of Mr. Hankys. I had to just unbolt the toilet and throw it away. If you ever tried to move a toilet, it's hard not to get it near your face or have the juices not splash on you. I could only clean the tub out with a shovel and a respirator mask.

Not to make fun of your situation (OK, this is FARK, you know I am); but the look on your face when you realized you had to remove those doors, must have been priceless :).

// End SSB
 
2012-10-29 05:21:09 PM
Bar owner was in idiot. When a regular dies the other regulars come in to honor his memory. Would've made a lot of money.
 
2012-10-29 05:50:52 PM
I'm sure it was a Faulty Towers episode with Keystone cops type shambles as they moved the body around to evade hotel inspectors/regular guests/random invaders
 
2012-10-29 05:53:42 PM
Management acumen.
 
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