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(NBC News)   Werewolves give us the creeps because...we are programmed to fear wolves...not body hair. Then how do they explain no werewolves in Brazil   (cosmiclog.nbcnews.com) divider line 51
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3264 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Oct 2012 at 11:06 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-10-29 08:21:19 AM
Always remember, the unibrow is a sure sign of a lycanthrope in human form.
 
2012-10-29 08:26:29 AM
Brazil is Bastet territory.

Sybarite: Always remember, the unibrow is a sure sign of a lycanthrope in human form.


So Anthony Davis is a werewolf?
 
2012-10-29 08:30:10 AM
Here wolves.
 
2012-10-29 08:50:38 AM
His hair was perfect.
 
2012-10-29 08:57:09 AM
Then how do they explain no werewolves in Brazil

Waxing, obviously.
 
2012-10-29 10:47:37 AM
Programmed to fear wolves? I'd wager far more humans are killed by dogs than wolves.
 
2012-10-29 11:10:31 AM
The only thing... that gives me the creeps... is unnecessary ellipsis.
 
2012-10-29 11:15:19 AM

I saw a werewolf drinkin' a pina colada at Trader Vic's. His hair was perfect.


files.g4tv.com

 
2012-10-29 11:15:20 AM

Sybarite: Always remember, the unibrow is a sure sign of a lycanthrope in human form.


Scary indeed...

0.media.sportspickle.cvcdn.com
 
2012-10-29 11:16:16 AM

simplicimus: Programmed to fear wolves? I'd wager far more humans are killed by dogs than wolves.


This.
 
2012-10-29 11:17:02 AM
Linda Godfrey is so sure about the existence of weird walking wolves that she's written a book titled "Real Wolfmen: True Encounters in Modern America." In more than 300 pages, she lays out dozens of stories about sightings of nasty-looking beasts running around on their hairy hind legs.

I've seen the evidence on people of walmart
 
2012-10-29 11:17:27 AM
Well, this is crazy. Werewolves of London just came on my Slacker.com Classic rock station.
 
2012-10-29 11:18:17 AM

Glitchwerks: simplicimus: Programmed to fear wolves? I'd wager far more humans are killed by dogs than wolves.

This.


Also, if we're programmed to fear them, why did we bother to domesticate them?
 
2012-10-29 11:18:53 AM
Spoken by someone that has clearly not seen a werewolf movie since CGI came out.
 
2012-10-29 11:21:17 AM
www.papermag.com

This thread is now Brazil.
 
2012-10-29 11:21:25 AM

simplicimus: Also, if we're programmed to fear them, why did we bother to domesticate them?


Because of fear of wild ones, its a viscous circle.
 
2012-10-29 11:23:19 AM
They have were-panthers or were-jaguars.

//Lobisomens? Há lobos.
 
2012-10-29 11:25:12 AM
static.ddmcdn.com
 
2012-10-29 11:26:57 AM

blazemongr: The only thing... that gives me the creeps... is unnecessary ellipsis.


AAAAAAAAAAAAAUAAAH!
 
2012-10-29 11:27:25 AM
24.media.tumblr.com

I thought werewolves were supposed to be hot.
 
2012-10-29 11:29:41 AM
I don't know... Aela the Huntress looks pretty good.

/in a computer graphics 'Skyrim' sort of way
 
2012-10-29 11:29:55 AM
In Brazil, they practically live in thong bathing suits. Werewolves are given away by having ten or twelve nipples.

It's a biotch getting properly fitting bras, by the way. You don't often see female werewolves. It's not because they are back at the den minding the pups.

This is not to say there are no werewolves, but they have to be really tricky and over-dressed. One trick is bondage wear--the leather straps hide the superfluous nipples. Leather helps to hide the werewolf smell. Of course, the Mardi Gras constumes also help. Beware of anybody who dresses like it is Mardi Gras all year round. They are probably a werewolf.

Back in Europe, werewolves are more of an Eastern and Northern phenomenon. And IIRC, France has no vampires (despite what you may read in the popular press). This has nothing to do with garlic, seeing as garlic goes in and out of fashion with the rich and the poor alike. It's just cultural.

France does have werewolves. There are many historical cases of note. They tend to prey on children, however, like real wolves which are shy of humans and tend to attack only if driven by famine.

The different categories (demons, witches, sorcerors, werewolves, vampires, ghosts, etc.) are hopelessly muddled in "real folklore". Literary supernatural creatures have all sorts of rules that are relatively new creations and largely arbitrary inventions designed to make for good stories or to limit or expand the power of supernatural characters and their antagonists.

Folktales, like conspiracy theories, are a hopeless muddle of species that are constantly merging and splitting, like bacteria. This is called "hypertextuality" in literature--every story is connected to every other story like a mass of underground fungus that penetrates acres of forest soil. Folktales constantly retell themselves and re-invent themselves, shaped by temporary needs. They shift shapes more often than vampires.

Remember that Dracula can become a wolf, a bat, an owl or any number of other creatures of the night. There is no hard and set lines between supernatural entitities except when rationalized and organized by art or science or medicine.
 
2012-10-29 11:32:46 AM
So is hypertrichosis essentially what that guy from Beauty and the Beast had?
 
2012-10-29 11:39:21 AM
Since the dawn of man, we've been conditioned to fear wolves, snakes, big cats and birds of prey. It's a natural reflex of our ancestors from having to live in the wild.
 
2012-10-29 11:44:21 AM
Werewolves give me the willies because they are wimpy, whiney, and passive-aggressive. That is the way that Lon Cheny Junior played the most successful film werewolf and he set the tone for all subsequent movie werewolves and many written werewolves. They just make me want to slap them. Grow a pair, puppy-boy!

They are the most mopey of all the monsters, almost as juvenile as Spiderman. I mean really. When mummies are more proactive and upbeat than you are, you have a problem you need to deal with.

Technically speaking, werewolves are not dead, so they should act it.

And there is too much negative PR against wolves incorporated into werewolf stories. The wolves need a good Anti-Defamation League. I suggest they found a group called Werewolves against Lycanthrope Defamation (WALD), or possibly Lupine Defamation more generally. Wolves need to get their side of the story out, show how important they are to the ecosystem and how badly they have been slandered. Sue the state of Wisconsin maybe.
 
2012-10-29 11:51:17 AM
do female werewolves have problems with male werewolves constantly sniffing their asses to see if they're on heat? or is that just me
 
2012-10-29 11:52:08 AM
Tell that to the Furries. They think nekkid werewolves (nards and all) are totally Yiffy.
 
2012-10-29 11:55:45 AM
It's like people don't even bother learning keystones of literature like "metaphor" any more.
 
2012-10-29 12:00:51 PM

2wolves: Here wolves.


There Castle
 
2012-10-29 12:04:13 PM
O rly?

i.ebayimg.com
 
2012-10-29 12:11:16 PM
And here I thought a "werewolf" was a term for a closeted confused gay "Native American" teen.

I remember seeing this movie about one who was in love with a some pale effeminate vampire guy. They both are in denial about their sexuality, so they pretend to fight over a girl in order to keep each others attention. The movie wasn't that good, but I hear they made a sequel or something. Its heartening to see such progressive themes covered in mainstream cinema.
 
2012-10-29 12:12:15 PM
25.media.tumblr.com

Hairless Teen Wolf on MTV
 
2012-10-29 12:15:09 PM

SilentStrider: Brazil is Bastet territory.


Don't forget about all of those Mokole in the Amazon, either.

/Werewolf was the only White Wolf game that I actually liked, and I regret not playing much of it. Everybody wanted to play Vampire. Blurgh.
 
2012-10-29 12:32:14 PM
Does anyone actually find werewolves creepy and/or frightening?
 
2012-10-29 12:49:31 PM
Farking Stephanie Meyer.
 
2012-10-29 01:05:28 PM
Actually, there are LOTS of werewolves in Brazil. Brazillions of them, if you will forgive the obvious pun.

In fact, the famed "Brazilian" waxing technique came about because werewolves needed to have their coats removed every month in order to blend in with normal human beings. During the removal process, it was easier to do a full-body waxing. Plus the lupine hair growth was relatively coarse and straight even in the "nether regions." It was nearly impossible to only leave normal pubic hair behind. Oh, it could be done- and some werewolves made a valiant attempt at it. But tweezing away just the long and coarse and leaving behind the short and curly took nearly as long as simply waiting for the full moon to go away. And so, most werewolf aestheticians recommended waxing off everything below the human-normal hairline. A waxing full moon meant waxing one's full moon, so to speak.

This had an unexpected result- Werewolves, being toned and sexy, made quite an impression on the beaches of Ipanema and Sao Paulo. And due to their "hardwood floors," they were able to wear much tinier bottoms, making the "micro-kini" and Brazillion thong come into vogue. The naughty nature of exposing so much of the intimate areas caught on and eventually became a global phenomenon. These days, it's practically the norm among women under the age of 30 or so.

So the next time your girlfriend steps out of the shower clean-shaven from the waist down, send a mental "thank you" to the werewolves of Brazil.
 
2012-10-29 01:10:18 PM

brantgoose: Werewolves give me the willies because they are wimpy, whiney, and passive-aggressive. That is the way that Lon Cheny Junior played the most successful film werewolf and he set the tone for all subsequent movie werewolves and many written werewolves. They just make me want to slap them. Grow a pair, puppy-boy!

They are the most mopey of all the monsters, almost as juvenile as Spiderman. I mean really. When mummies are more proactive and upbeat than you are, you have a problem you need to deal with.

Technically speaking, werewolves are not dead, so they should act it.

And there is too much negative PR against wolves incorporated into werewolf stories. The wolves need a good Anti-Defamation League. I suggest they found a group called Werewolves against Lycanthrope Defamation (WALD), or possibly Lupine Defamation more generally. Wolves need to get their side of the story out, show how important they are to the ecosystem and how badly they have been slandered. Sue the state of Wisconsin maybe.


The Incredible Hulk is probably the best take on the Werewolf mythos.
 
2012-10-29 01:11:43 PM
 
2012-10-29 01:42:00 PM

Fano: brantgoose: Werewolves give me the willies because they are wimpy, whiney, and passive-aggressive. That is the way that Lon Cheny Junior played the most successful film werewolf and he set the tone for all subsequent movie werewolves and many written werewolves. They just make me want to slap them. Grow a pair, puppy-boy!

They are the most mopey of all the monsters, almost as juvenile as Spiderman. I mean really. When mummies are more proactive and upbeat than you are, you have a problem you need to deal with.

Technically speaking, werewolves are not dead, so they should act it.

And there is too much negative PR against wolves incorporated into werewolf stories. The wolves need a good Anti-Defamation League. I suggest they found a group called Werewolves against Lycanthrope Defamation (WALD), or possibly Lupine Defamation more generally. Wolves need to get their side of the story out, show how important they are to the ecosystem and how badly they have been slandered. Sue the state of Wisconsin maybe.

The Incredible Hulk is probably the best take on the Werewolf mythos.


That's so close to being correct it's scary. Has there been an author who has done a good werewolf story akin to what Rice did with vampires?
 
2012-10-29 02:23:29 PM

Mrbogey: Has there been an author who has done a good werewolf story akin to what Rice did with vampires?


None of which I'm aware. I am a fan of Saberhagen's take on the Frankenstein monster, though.
 
2012-10-29 02:40:40 PM

brantgoose: In Brazil, they practically live in thong bathing suits. Werewolves are given away by having ten or twelve nipples.


It's also a giveaway when the girls give birth to dectuplets after coming into heat during a full moon.

Seriously: wolf encounters with people over the last X tens of thousands of years have gone three ways:

Wolf, even if starving or injured and unable to hunt, stays away from people, maybe recovers.

Wolf somehow manages to harm a hair on any human of any age or condition: that human's parents or relatives wipe out it, its relatives and their pups, and probably every other wolf they encounter.

Wolf adapts the behavior it is familiar to applying to other wolves and begs. This usually gets it turned into a fur garment but, given human nature, could very well end up with it showered by resources if it begs from a child and their parents see it meekly follow their precious kid home whining instead of eating it.

So. The one time an emaciated wolf entered an Isle Royale campground, some kids fed it, but it found the experience so frightening it left anyway and is thought to have starved to death. But it just might have lived because it left and park personnel therefore couldn't find it to remove it.
 
2012-10-29 02:51:47 PM

SwiftFox: brantgoose: In Brazil, they practically live in thong bathing suits. Werewolves are given away by having ten or twelve nipples.


It's also a giveaway when the girls give birth to dectuplets after coming into heat during a full moon.

Seriously: wolf encounters with people over the last X tens of thousands of years have gone three ways:

Wolf, even if starving or injured and unable to hunt, stays away from people, maybe recovers.

Wolf somehow manages to harm a hair on any human of any age or condition: that human's parents or relatives wipe out it, its relatives and their pups, and probably every other wolf they encounter.

Wolf adapts the behavior it is familiar to applying to other wolves and begs. This usually gets it turned into a fur garment but, given human nature, could very well end up with it showered by resources if it begs from a child and their parents see it meekly follow their precious kid home whining instead of eating it.

So. The one time an emaciated wolf entered an Isle Royale campground, some kids fed it, but it found the experience so frightening it left anyway and is thought to have starved to death. But it just might have lived because it left and park personnel therefore couldn't find it to remove it.


Just want to add that wolves, and their cousin dogs, have an innate calorie counter. They're both opportunistic scavengers, meaning if there's food lying around, they'll eat that rather than expend calories hunting something. So the domestication of wolves probably came about because humans had leftovers.
 
2012-10-29 02:55:16 PM

simplicimus: Just want to add that wolves, and their cousin dogs, have an innate calorie counter. They're both opportunistic scavengers, meaning if there's food lying around, they'll eat that rather than expend calories hunting something. So the domestication of wolves probably came about because humans had leftovers.


They're also pack animals. Feed them and make them part of your pack and they're loyal to you.
 
2012-10-29 03:02:36 PM

DingleberryMoose: simplicimus: Just want to add that wolves, and their cousin dogs, have an innate calorie counter. They're both opportunistic scavengers, meaning if there's food lying around, they'll eat that rather than expend calories hunting something. So the domestication of wolves probably came about because humans had leftovers.

They're also pack animals. Feed them and make them part of your pack and they're loyal to you.


Back in the old days when we had cable channels devoted to science, I saw an interesting show about the difference between trying to domesticate Wolves in a few generations. The test was to place food in a cage that neither the wolves or dogs could get into. After a few tries, the dogs would look at the humans to help out. The wolves never did. Of course, we've been domesticating dogs for 50,000 years, so there's that.
 
2012-10-29 03:07:49 PM

simplicimus: DingleberryMoose: simplicimus: Just want to add that wolves, and their cousin dogs, have an innate calorie counter. They're both opportunistic scavengers, meaning if there's food lying around, they'll eat that rather than expend calories hunting something. So the domestication of wolves probably came about because humans had leftovers.

They're also pack animals. Feed them and make them part of your pack and they're loyal to you.

Back in the old days when we had cable channels devoted to science, I saw an interesting show about the difference between trying to domesticate Wolves in a few generations. The test was to place food in a cage that neither the wolves or dogs could get into. After a few tries, the dogs would look at the humans to help out. The wolves never did. Of course, we've been domesticating dogs for 50,000 years, so there's that.


I saw a NOVA (I think) about that the other day. Dogs Decoded, I think. Basically dogs naturally take cues from humans in ways that even chimps can't learn, apparently.
 
2012-10-29 03:22:21 PM

I May Be Crazy But...: simplicimus: DingleberryMoose: simplicimus: Just want to add that wolves, and their cousin dogs, have an innate calorie counter. They're both opportunistic scavengers, meaning if there's food lying around, they'll eat that rather than expend calories hunting something. So the domestication of wolves probably came about because humans had leftovers.

They're also pack animals. Feed them and make them part of your pack and they're loyal to you.

Back in the old days when we had cable channels devoted to science, I saw an interesting show about the difference between trying to domesticate Wolves in a few generations. The test was to place food in a cage that neither the wolves or dogs could get into. After a few tries, the dogs would look at the humans to help out. The wolves never did. Of course, we've been domesticating dogs for 50,000 years, so there's that.

I saw a NOVA (I think) about that the other day. Dogs Decoded, I think. Basically dogs naturally take cues from humans in ways that even chimps can't learn, apparently.


I know that. I smoke, but outside only. Naturally, the dogs follow me. When I put out my cig, the dogs are already at the door, waiting to come in.
 
2012-10-29 03:36:01 PM

I May Be Crazy But...: simplicimus: DingleberryMoose: simplicimus: Just want to add that wolves, and their cousin dogs, have an innate calorie counter. They're both opportunistic scavengers, meaning if there's food lying around, they'll eat that rather than expend calories hunting something. So the domestication of wolves probably came about because humans had leftovers.

They're also pack animals. Feed them and make them part of your pack and they're loyal to you.

Back in the old days when we had cable channels devoted to science, I saw an interesting show about the difference between trying to domesticate Wolves in a few generations. The test was to place food in a cage that neither the wolves or dogs could get into. After a few tries, the dogs would look at the humans to help out. The wolves never did. Of course, we've been domesticating dogs for 50,000 years, so there's that.

I saw a NOVA (I think) about that the other day. Dogs Decoded, I think. Basically dogs naturally take cues from humans in ways that even chimps can't learn, apparently.


Ah, but then they tried those Russian domesticated foxes bred to be tame and unafraid of people - and they passed the test just like domesticated dog puppies, which surprised the researchers. They're guessing innate intelligence and a lack of fear of people combined now. And when they try to keep wolves in regular cages and kennels in laboratories the wolves not only figure out their cage latches, after letting themselves out they let all the other wolves out of their cages too.
 
2012-10-29 03:41:58 PM

SwiftFox:
Ah, but then they tried those Russian domesticated foxes bred to be tame and unafraid of people - and they passed the test just like domesticated dog puppies, which surprised the researchers. They're guessing innate intelligence and a lack of fear of people combined now. And when they try to keep wolves in regular cages and kennels in laboratories the wolves not only figure out their cage latches, after letting themselves out they let all the other wolves out of their cages too.


Not saying Canids are stupid. They're actually good at problem solving. And I think the foxes experiment missed a great marketing opportunity. Heck, if people buy ferrets, imagine if they could buy domestic foxes.
 
2012-10-29 03:44:38 PM

simplicimus: Not saying Canids are stupid. They're actually good at problem solving. And I think the foxes experiment missed a great marketing opportunity. Heck, if people buy ferrets, imagine if they could buy domestic foxes.


I know I would. I've seen videos of the researches going to check on them, and those are possibly the most excited animals I've ever seen. They're just so farking happy to see the people! A lot like a good dog.
 
2012-10-29 04:18:11 PM

I May Be Crazy But...: simplicimus: Not saying Canids are stupid. They're actually good at problem solving. And I think the foxes experiment missed a great marketing opportunity. Heck, if people buy ferrets, imagine if they could buy domestic foxes.

I know I would. I've seen videos of the researches going to check on them, and those are possibly the most excited animals I've ever seen. They're just so farking happy to see the people! A lot like a good dog.


When you think about it, the experiment shows there's nothing stopping somebody from domesticating a batch of wolves again in ten or fifteen generations too.
 
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