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(Gawker)   If you're a drunken lawyer who has been locked out of your NYC apartment, spend a few bucks and call a locksmith. Just sayin'   (gawker.com) divider line 40
    More: Dumbass, apartments  
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9099 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Oct 2012 at 10:11 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



40 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-10-29 08:27:09 AM
And thanks to the commenters for saving us all some time.

img.gawkerassets.com
 
2012-10-29 10:12:11 AM
New York lawyers are the worst kind of scum.
 
2012-10-29 10:13:36 AM
Goddamit, 3PO, you had one job...
 
2012-10-29 10:14:22 AM
Idiot. And who "loans out" the keys to their farking home?
 
2012-10-29 10:16:59 AM
So if trash is the normal diet of a trash compactor, is eating a lawyer akin to junk food?
 
2012-10-29 10:17:34 AM
Oh... Gawker. Won't be reading that. I support the boycott.
 
2012-10-29 10:17:56 AM
At least it was a lawyer. Imagine if this happened to a person.
 
2012-10-29 10:18:27 AM
Ohhhhh,
What would you do
With a drunken lawyer
Etc.
 
2012-10-29 10:19:03 AM
I wonder who she'll sue.
 
2012-10-29 10:20:08 AM
I'm a drunk lawyer and occasionally lock myself out.

But I have the sense to have a key hidden outside.
 
2012-10-29 10:20:38 AM
If she winds up losing the arm, she's going to have the most embarrassing "how this happened to me" EVAR. She'll probably just make up something else, because "I almost lost it in a garbage chute trying to sneak into my own place" is just plain sad.

2 Hookers and an 8 Ball: So if trash is the normal diet of a trash compactor, is eating a lawyer akin to junk food?


Bravo, sir. This is without question the first "lawyer joke" I've heard in years that was anything close to clever/funny.

/attorney
//one of the "good" ones
 
2012-10-29 10:22:28 AM

Cubansaltyballs: I wonder who she'll sue.


probably everyone.

the friend she loaned the keys to
The bar that served the drinks
The cab that dropped her off and left before she entered the building
The person who let her in
The building superintendent
the building owner
the construction company who built the building
The manufacturer of the automatic compactor
the mechanic who last serviced it
 
2012-10-29 10:23:23 AM
The hilarious part is that this will now show up on any web search future employers make for this person's name.
 
2012-10-29 10:24:45 AM
You mean they can't just talk their way into the apartment?rewardslink.info
 
2012-10-29 10:24:57 AM

sodomizer: Oh... Gawker. Won't be reading that. I support the boycott.


Is there a real boycott on Gawker or just a, you know, Chick-fil-a boycott?

/is that a real poncho or a Sears poncho?
 
2012-10-29 10:25:16 AM
Did the lawyer happen to follow a gold rat into the compactor?
 
2012-10-29 10:27:12 AM

El Morro: If she winds up losing the arm, she's going to have the most embarrassing "how this happened to me" EVAR. She'll probably just make up something else, because "I almost lost it in a garbage chute trying to sneak into my own place" is just plain sad.

2 Hookers and an 8 Ball: So if trash is the normal diet of a trash compactor, is eating a lawyer akin to junk food?

Bravo, sir. This is without question the first "lawyer joke" I've heard in years that was anything close to clever/funny.

/attorney
//one of the "good" ones


One of the good ones? You know damn well none of us are good.
 
2012-10-29 10:29:21 AM
The important question is which half of her brain is she going to sue?
 
2012-10-29 10:30:50 AM
I'm a lawyer and I was locked out of my apartment once. But i was able to pick the lock with an envelope from the mail box. I felt like axel foley. it was awesome.
 
2012-10-29 10:30:53 AM
has anyone used the "eh, she's 'armless" joke yet?
 
2012-10-29 10:31:52 AM

Sybarite: And thanks to the commenters for saving us all some time.

[img.gawkerassets.com image 306x370]


Here she is now

i.imgur.com
/Just in time for Halloween
//Artist conception
///I use the term artist losely
 
2012-10-29 10:35:47 AM

jayhawk88: Goddamit, 3PO, you had one job...


2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-10-29 10:37:28 AM
But but but... what if the locksmith charges by the second??? I'll be ruined!!!
 
2012-10-29 10:38:12 AM
Poor girl was crushed to find out her plan hadn't been thought ou enough.
 
2012-10-29 10:41:51 AM
skinink
The important question is which half of her brain is she going to sue?
well it sure won't be the logic half
 
2012-10-29 10:48:23 AM
Came here to say this:

Egoy3k: Cubansaltyballs: I wonder who she'll sue.

probably everyone.

the friend she loaned the keys to
The bar that served the drinks
The cab that dropped her off and left before she entered the building
The person who let her in
The building superintendent
the building owner
the construction company who built the building
The manufacturer of the automatic compactor
the mechanic who last serviced it

 
2012-10-29 10:50:45 AM

mongbiohazard: Idiot. And who "loans out" the keys to their farking home?


That's probably code for "Her friends took away her keys in case she might try to drive her drunk ass home." (Although I could be wrong because who the hell drives in NYC?) So her entire keyring is probably safely tucked away somewhere.
 
2012-10-29 10:54:20 AM

sodomizer: Oh... Gawker. Won't be reading that. I support the boycott.


Translation: I support creeps who use anonymity to take advantage of others but call foul when someone exposes them and has the guts to use their own name on the byline, to boot.
 
2012-10-29 10:56:48 AM

swahnhennessy: sodomizer: Oh... Gawker. Won't be reading that. I support the boycott.

Translation: I support creeps who use anonymity to take advantage of others but call foul when someone exposes them and has the guts to use their own name on the byline, to boot.


There's no drama like Internet Drama.
 
2012-10-29 11:01:22 AM

Egoy3k: Cubansaltyballs: I wonder who she'll sue.

probably everyone.

the friend she loaned the keys to
The bar that served the drinks
The cab that dropped her off and left before she entered the building
The person who let her in
The building superintendent
the building owner
the construction company who built the building
The manufacturer of the automatic compactor
the mechanic who last serviced it


Don't forget the fire department. They deep pockets! Ours!
 
2012-10-29 11:07:43 AM

dervish16108: New York lawyers are the worst kind of scum.


How many New York lawyers have you met?

A good friend of mine is a layer here in NYC. More than 1/2 of his cases are pro-bono for people fighting for social security disability who cannot afford to pay. He still makes a decent living with his other cases, which allows him to do all that pro-bono work.
 
2012-10-29 11:12:12 AM
The lawyer is an ass.
 
2012-10-29 11:50:54 AM

dervish16108: New York lawyers are the worst kind of scum.


I would think a Texas patent lawyer is the worst kind of scum.
 
2012-10-29 12:03:41 PM
Dang whats wrong with patent lawyers other than a complete lack of personality?
 
2012-10-29 12:17:12 PM
There isn't a security guard in her building to let her in? Those dudes saved my ass a million times. Plus she should at least know a couple of her neighbors well enough for them to let her crash on the coach for a bit until her keys can be located.
 
2012-10-29 12:54:22 PM
Funny how only gossip sites are reporting this. Where's the MSM?
 
2012-10-29 01:12:03 PM
Geez, you guys are pretty judgmental. I mean, come on, anybody who hasn't done something like this, raise your hands.
 
2012-10-29 02:21:16 PM

Egoy3k: Cubansaltyballs: I wonder who she'll sue.

probably everyone.

the friend she loaned the keys to
The bar that served the drinks
The cab that dropped her off and left before she entered the building
The person who let her in
The building superintendent
the building owner
the construction company who built the building
The manufacturer of the automatic compactor
the mechanic who last serviced it


And when she finds representation they'll only have to take a leg.
 
2012-10-29 02:30:25 PM

sodomizer: Oh... Gawker. Won't be reading that. I support the boycott.


Funny, I read gawker now, supporting them
 
2012-10-29 02:38:52 PM
I would like to add that my sue everyone joke was only half a joke. 'Sue everyone' is pretty much the best legal advice you can get if you are planning to sue for damages as a result of injury.

The second best advice would be to avoid any 'lawyer' who has a nickname and advertises on television during daytime TV ala Jim 'THE HAMMER' Shapiro.
 
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