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(io9)   The twenty most unintentionally terrifying films of all time, otherwise known as "kids' movies"   (io9.com) divider line 136
    More: Scary, Carol Channing, Gene Wilder, Icing on the Cake, Roald Dahl, Anjelica Huston, Dumbo, Jim Henson, PinkElephant  
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14990 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 28 Oct 2012 at 8:23 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-10-28 10:08:44 PM
Thanks to that damn Willy Wonka movie, to this very day little people / midgets / dwarfs freak me out.
 
2012-10-28 10:10:06 PM

FunkOut: BigLuca: While Labyrinth was a freaky movie, I don't think David Bowie's obsession with Sarah was all that bizarre. He was obviously a representation of her subconscious/imagination and defeating him was statement of choice that she was ready to grow up and accept adult responsibilities - that she wasn't going to be "ruled" by her imaginary worlds anymore. Even as a kid I got that. If you didn't understand that then the entire movie didn't make sense.

I thought it was about a young woman's fear and fascination with bulging male crotches.


Well, I guess boys get enough big busted heroine and villain movies. Girls deserved ONE bulging crotch movie. Shame that the bulging crotch had to belong to David Bowie though.
 
2012-10-28 10:10:53 PM
BTW, you're not the only one who gets confused lol, even Google does:

i.imgur.com
 
2012-10-28 10:11:36 PM

2words1finger: Thanks to that damn Willy Wonka movie, to this very day little people / midgets / dwarfs freak me out.


The scene with the fizzy lifting drinks did it for me. I still get nervous around fans.
 
2012-10-28 10:12:26 PM
The Woman in Red. The part where the kid gets locked in the coat room overnight.
 
2012-10-28 10:12:58 PM

calbert: RockofAges: I CHALLENGE FARK TO BEAT THIS

Discovered a few years ago. Never the same since.

Link

that has received many greenlights over the years at Fark.

it is not obscure/unknown to those who have been here a while.


I got that on DVD from a thrift store. I think it's the real reason you hear people trying to get Mark Twain books out of school curriculum, the children might go on to find out just how heretical Mark Twain is. Satan saying "I can do no wrong because I do not know good and evil" isn't in any bible class but it's theologically sound. Satan never ate from the tree of knowledge.
 
2012-10-28 10:16:52 PM

RockofAges: I CHALLENGE FARK TO BEAT THIS

Discovered a few years ago. Never the same since.

Link


Heh, I was immediately going to counter with the 'Satan' scene from the Mark Twain Claymation movie (I first saw that as a six year old, by the way).

However, having clicked your link..

/it's the Satan scene
 
2012-10-28 10:30:27 PM

RockofAges: I CHALLENGE FARK TO BEAT THIS

Discovered a few years ago. Never the same since.

Link


I loved that movie as a kid, and it got me into Twain quite early. I think I was in 3rd or 4th grade when I first read Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn. I wasn't scared by that movie at all.
 
2012-10-28 10:30:39 PM

BigLuca: FunkOut: BigLuca: While Labyrinth was a freaky movie, I don't think David Bowie's obsession with Sarah was all that bizarre. He was obviously a representation of her subconscious/imagination and defeating him was statement of choice that she was ready to grow up and accept adult responsibilities - that she wasn't going to be "ruled" by her imaginary worlds anymore. Even as a kid I got that. If you didn't understand that then the entire movie didn't make sense.

I thought it was about a young woman's fear and fascination with bulging male crotches.

Well, I guess boys get enough big busted heroine and villain movies. Girls deserved ONE bulging crotch movie. Shame that the bulging crotch had to belong to David Bowie though.


I know this is 3 1/2 years old as it is but let me just leave this review here. Link
 
2012-10-28 10:35:29 PM

rocky_howard: BTW, you're not the only one who gets confused lol, even Google does:

[i.imgur.com image 542x179]


25.media.tumblr.com

Uh, dude...
 
2012-10-28 10:39:25 PM

taxandspend: lohphat: MaudlinMutantMollusk: List fails without The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T

Just looked this up on Wikipedia. I love how pretty much every movie that's either a crap film or a box office bust will have the sentence: "It has since gained a cult following." And usually, there is not an outside reference to back this up.


I think it was the first attempt to bring Dr. Suess to the screen, and it was so bad it drove Ted Giesel to swear he'd never have anything to do with holly wood again.

/it was pretty bad
//and incredibly weird
///an atomic bomb? really?
 
2012-10-28 10:40:15 PM

FunkOut: rocky_howard: BTW, you're not the only one who gets confused lol, even Google does:

[i.imgur.com image 542x179]

[25.media.tumblr.com image 383x388]

Uh, dude...


Uh, dude...

thatsthejoke.jpg

Don't you see even Google relates the two instances?
 
2012-10-28 10:41:49 PM
Ernie, in the pyramid, with Bert.

Enjoy... If you dare.
 
2012-10-28 10:45:09 PM
the flying butt monkeys in The wizard of Oz freaked me out as a kid and I still hate them.

the boat ride acid trip in Willy Wonka is a bit much for children to digest. my Mom used that phrase about being a 'bad egg' all the time and i used it often too. holy crap, rarely has anyone known what the hell we we making reference to. people are idiots.

i watched black & white late night horror regularly as a child. our mother was a deeply disturbed woman who had little clue of what was appropriate for children.
 
2012-10-28 10:45:12 PM

rocky_howard: FunkOut: rocky_howard: BTW, you're not the only one who gets confused lol, even Google does:

[i.imgur.com image 542x179]

[25.media.tumblr.com image 383x388]

Uh, dude...

Uh, dude...

thatsthejoke.jpg

Don't you see even Google relates the two instances?


So you just wanted to post a bunch of mostly naked Sting pictures. Got it.
 
2012-10-28 10:48:56 PM

Gyrfalcon: baka-san: Watership Downs, both the book and movie, were never, will never, even a little, be for kids.

Thisitty this this this.


nah, I think kids can deal with very adult topics if they are presented correctly and they have those things... oh, what do you call them? everybody used to have at least one... oh, PARENTS to help them frame the material.

8 of those movies were among the best I saw as a kid. Secret of NiMH and NeverEnding story were (for me) the 2 best in the list. Few movies are able to present loss and show how we should fight on instead of losing hope. Both taught the reality and need to face frightening and seemingly insurmountable conditions in a way children understand and remember.

Kids are just little adults. Make them into snowflakes and you get defective adults that can't cope with reality.
Part of growing up is supposed walking that tightrope of keeping your innocence as long as possible, while also preparing for the eventuality of facing the real world.

Another part of deciding when to show some of these movies to your kids (for example: Watership Down) is recognizing there is a big difference between seeing that movie at 5 or 6 and seeing that movie at 10.
But again, that requires that elusive 'good parenting' that seems so hard to come by these days.
 
2012-10-28 10:50:09 PM
wizard of oz

also Pinocchio turning into an ass scared the bejesus outta me.

banana splits scared me witless
 
2012-10-28 10:51:16 PM

Martstar: RockofAges: I CHALLENGE FARK TO BEAT THIS

Discovered a few years ago. Never the same since.

Link

I loved that movie as a kid, and it got me into Twain quite early. I think I was in 3rd or 4th grade when I first read Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn. I wasn't scared by that movie at all.

Never saw the full movie. Read the original short story, though, and the clip does the scene justice, but it also really doesn't give the impact of the story - it was definitely written by Twain during one of his 'rage against the heavens' moods.

/Assuming it doesn't end as the short story did.
 
2012-10-28 10:52:49 PM
Bambi. no contest.
 
2012-10-28 10:59:58 PM

willfullyobscure: Bambi. no contest.


This so so much. Messing with kids emotions for four generations.
 
2012-10-28 11:01:37 PM
Time Bandits
 
2012-10-28 11:04:23 PM
It wasn't a kids' movie, but Ghoulies 2 was pretty horrifying to my adolescent psyche.
 
2012-10-28 11:09:12 PM
Johnny Socko and His Giant Robot had some terrifying moments.
 
2012-10-28 11:09:48 PM

Harry_Seldon: Johnny Socko and His Giant Robot had some terrifying moments.


Sokko
 
2012-10-28 11:10:00 PM

Martstar: RockofAges: I CHALLENGE FARK TO BEAT THIS

Discovered a few years ago. Never the same since.

Link

I loved that movie as a kid, and it got me into Twain quite early. I think I was in 3rd or 4th grade when I first read Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn. I wasn't scared by that movie at all.


Still love that movie, and that scene was, and is one of my favorite animated vinettes of all time OF ALL TIME!!
I was maybe eight years old when I first saw it, and more than anything, it estabished in me a love for well crafted animation.

watership down was not a childerns story. never was, never will be. but HBO showed the hell out of it in the daytime slots for the kids and pushed it as "family"

It blew me away as a kid because it was incredible animation, and told a serious story, something that mind at that time had not registered. Kinda like how I was upset I couldn't go with my brother to go see Heavy Metal, it was a cartoon, and cartoons were for kids!

you get the idea...

The black hole was pushed at kids because it was Disney... well... that movie at first had been an independent sci-fi production, and was meant to be a serious space thriller.

they ran out of money mid production,

Disney Bailed them out and added their own touches to finish the film, the junked out floaty robot was never in the original production, and added as a side kick. the original movie was meant to cash in on 2001, Disney's rework was meant to cash in on star wars.
 
2012-10-28 11:11:01 PM
1.bp.blogspot.com

It still amazes me that the creepier thing in this pic is *not* the witch.
 
2012-10-28 11:19:38 PM
I wasn't fazed by much of the nightmare fuel people my age cite from childhood. I loved Willy Wonka, boat scene and all. Return to Oz was awesome. Secret of NIMH was dumb (I thought) and I was actually mauled by a dog by the time I saw Neverending Story, so the Gmork scene seemed pretty tame.

However, Doctor Who playing on PBS out of Boston used to scare the snot out of me. Which is hilarious to me now, but my six year old self totally suspended disbelief of the low budget costumes.
 
2012-10-28 11:34:45 PM
somebody at i09 has been watching The Nostalgia Critic
 
2012-10-28 11:39:08 PM

Cerebral Knievel: watership down was not a childerns story. never was, never will be.


Other than the fact that it was the written version of stories that Richard Adams made up for his children... apart from that it's definitely not a children's story.

I think, in my head, until my brief visit to teh wikis just now, I had assumed that Watership Down was contemporaneous with, or even authored by, Beatrix Potter. Anthropomorphic rabbits getting up to all sorts of cutesy shenanigans.

But there are two types of tales for children; the generally sanitised, bowdlerised, Disney-esque tales that demand a happy ending and bad people getting their just deserts while the heroes live happily ever after, and the more realistic ones, such as the brothers Grimm's efforts, where nasty shiat happens all over.

The second type reflects reality better, so should always be preferred as a teaching aid.

I may just have to read Watership Down, as soon as I'm finished Escape from Camp 14. Sounds like they may have a lot in common.

/Never liked Disney's schmaltzy children's stories.
//Also, Watership Down was the subject of one of my favourite TV quizzes last week. Go here and play wall 213.
 
2012-10-28 11:44:43 PM

MurphyMurphy: Gyrfalcon: baka-san: Watership Downs, both the book and movie, were never, will never, even a little, be for kids.

Thisitty this this this.

nah, I think kids can deal with very adult topics if they are presented correctly and they have those things... oh, what do you call them? everybody used to have at least one... oh, PARENTS to help them frame the material.

8 of those movies were among the best I saw as a kid. Secret of NiMH and NeverEnding story were (for me) the 2 best in the list. Few movies are able to present loss and show how we should fight on instead of losing hope. Both taught the reality and need to face frightening and seemingly insurmountable conditions in a way children understand and remember.

Kids are just little adults. Make them into snowflakes and you get defective adults that can't cope with reality.
Part of growing up is supposed walking that tightrope of keeping your innocence as long as possible, while also preparing for the eventuality of facing the real world.

Another part of deciding when to show some of these movies to your kids (for example: Watership Down) is recognizing there is a big difference between seeing that movie at 5 or 6 and seeing that movie at 10.
But again, that requires that elusive 'good parenting' that seems so hard to come by these days.


Well, okay, I guess we've just got a miscommunication as to what we're calling a "kid." I read "Watership Down" at about age 10 or so. I was thinking of "kid" as taking your little toddler to see it at age 4 or 5 thinking it would be a pleasant cartoony-type feature or somesuch.

Speaking of which--just saw the trailer for "Red Dawn." Talk about a movie not being for kids....or anyone else....
 
2012-10-28 11:45:43 PM

KrispyKritter: i watched black & white late night horror regularly as a child.


Same here. Lots of horror movies starring Vincent Price. The Haunted Palace and The Fall of the House of Usher really creeped me out.

And for real piss-in-your-pants terror, this takes the urinal cake. This movie still gives me the creeps.
 
2012-10-28 11:48:24 PM

MusicMakeMyHeadPound: I wasn't fazed by much of the nightmare fuel people my age cite from childhood. I loved Willy Wonka, boat scene and all. Return to Oz was awesome. Secret of NIMH was dumb (I thought) and I was actually mauled by a dog by the time I saw Neverending Story, so the Gmork scene seemed pretty tame.

However, Doctor Who playing on PBS out of Boston used to scare the snot out of me. Which is hilarious to me now, but my six year old self totally suspended disbelief of the low budget costumes.


EXTERMINATE, EXTERMINATE, EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!!!!!
 
2012-10-28 11:55:05 PM

I Like Bread: The Woman in Red. The part where the kid gets locked in the coat room overnight.


That's actually The Lady in White. Great movie. Frightening as hell for a kid.
 
2012-10-29 12:00:11 AM
All of those examples of fear were intentional. The article is crap.
 
2012-10-29 12:00:57 AM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: List fails without The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T


ERMAHGERD YES. That movie creeped me the f*ck out. Thanks Dad for those memories!
 
2012-10-29 12:08:17 AM

therecksays: Time Bandits


Came here to say this. Midgets are farking creepy.
 
2012-10-29 12:10:06 AM

baka-san: Watership Downs, both the book and movie, were never, will never, even a little, be for kids.


Are you kidding? That was the first full-sized book I ever read.

It was AWESOME.
 
2012-10-29 12:12:44 AM
i.imgur.com
 
2012-10-29 12:22:22 AM

Eirik: I distinctly remember something from when I was about four, which would make it 1977 give or take. It must have been a cartoon short before or between movies, but I've never been able to figure out where it might have come from.

The short, animated, started as a group of Indian shoreworkers, circa 1850 or so, loading a cargo ship close to shore by wading out to it. Not long after, they are attacked by a frenzy of sharks and devoured in a number of comical ways. i can remember a shark suddenly catching a worker and showing him on a platter before eating him.

Who thought this was a kids bit is beyond me... though come to think of it, I now wonder if it might have been a small part of some 1970's movie that my mother thought was child appropriate. Anyone recognize that description?


Hugo the Hippo was a feature, and set in Africa, but that could be it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22peXeUcalY
 
2012-10-29 12:26:12 AM
Something Wicked This Way Comes.

For a Disney flick, that one creeped me out, especially where that guy gets stuck on the carousel that can alter your age and he turns into a skeleton and collapses sorta like that german at the end of Last Crusade.
 
2012-10-29 12:26:54 AM
I got my hands on my brother's copy of this and it changed me forever

www.panelsonpages.com

Full frontal cartoons, glowing green death orbs, and WW2 zombies. Yeah my friends didn't even believe me something so cool existed.So naturally the next weekend I had a sleep over. Ahh! That made for a great 3rd grade year.
 
2012-10-29 12:34:06 AM
List fails without Dot and the Kangaroo. The whole thing with te Buntain scared the crap out of when I was 8 or so and saw it on HBO
 
2012-10-29 12:34:32 AM

the opposite of charity is justice: [1.bp.blogspot.com image 850x637]

It still amazes me that the creepier thing in this pic is *not* the witch.


This. I remember being terrified of the flying monkeys at a very young age.
 
2012-10-29 12:34:35 AM
Watership Downs,

great movie, even better book
 
2012-10-29 12:41:41 AM
List fails without Dot and the Kangaroo. The whole thing with the Bunyip scared the crap out of when I was 8 or so and saw it on HBO

BUNYIP

farking autocorrect
 
2012-10-29 12:54:16 AM

ShawnDoc: This list is worthless without The Last Unicorn.


Yeah, it wouldn't be the creepiest on the list, but it's creepier than Labyrinth. I remember the giant vulture and the red bull in particular giving me the creeps when I was a kid. Of course that didn't stop me from renting it at the video store on occasion. Oh, and that living tree with the giant boobs - wtf was with that?

wildcardjack: Satan saying "I can do no wrong because I do not know good and evil" isn't in any bible class but it's theologically sound. Satan never ate from the tree of knowledge.


I'm hardly a theological scholar, but Satan wouldn't have needed to eat from the tree of knowledge, would he? Wouldn't he already have that knowledge, being a fallen angel?
 
2012-10-29 01:05:55 AM

rocky_howard: Gmork was farking badass.

But to this day, whenever I see a storm coming, I think of, no, not about The Dark Knight Rises, but about The Nothing from Neverending Story.

http://www.blogcdn.com/www.joystiq.com/media/2009/01/the-nothing.jpg

SCARIEST. VILLAIN. EVER.


They look like big, good, strong hands don't they?

/I hated this movie because it was always the go-to 'put on a movie when there's nothing to do' flick when I was in grade school. Saw this tons of times then and just got sick of it. However I think I'd probably be able to appreciate it nowadays.
 
2012-10-29 01:09:14 AM
The most terrifying movie scene from my childhood is definitely the scene in Willy Wonka where the girl turns into a blueberry. I never saw beyond that part because I started freaking out and my family had to turn the film off. Nightmares for weeks.

I never watched the movie again as an adult.
 
2012-10-29 01:11:14 AM

BigLuca: FunkOut: BigLuca: While Labyrinth was a freaky movie, I don't think David Bowie's obsession with Sarah was all that bizarre. He was obviously a representation of her subconscious/imagination and defeating him was statement of choice that she was ready to grow up and accept adult responsibilities - that she wasn't going to be "ruled" by her imaginary worlds anymore. Even as a kid I got that. If you didn't understand that then the entire movie didn't make sense.

I thought it was about a young woman's fear and fascination with bulging male crotches.

Well, I guess boys get enough big busted heroine and villain movies. Girls deserved ONE bulging crotch movie. Shame that the bulging crotch had to belong to David Bowie though.


I've got no problem with that.
 
2012-10-29 01:14:03 AM
Glad Ernest Scared Stupid gets a mention. Damn thing terrified me when I was a kid.
 
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