If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Neatorama)   Potential employer goes all schoolteacher on applicant's cover letter   (neatorama.com) divider line 170
    More: Amusing, cover letters, NeatoShop, job searches, employees  
•       •       •

9467 clicks; posted to Business » on 27 Oct 2012 at 11:10 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



170 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-10-27 07:54:58 AM
The applicant should take that critique to heart and fix her cover letter.
 
she should also consider herself lucky she didn't land a job working with a pedantic prick.
 
2012-10-27 07:58:14 AM
That employer doesn't have a clam attitude.
 
433 [TotalFark]
2012-10-27 07:58:49 AM
It's a shame they don't teach "real world shiat" in grade school. Part of it would have been fixed just by paying attention in grammar/English class. The resume reeks of a resume fluffer that gave pointers but no specifics.
 
2012-10-27 08:25:31 AM

Mentat: That employer doesn't have a clam attitude.


clam?

*reads letter*

oh my. I was not prepaird for that.
 
2012-10-27 08:57:40 AM
I don't see why this guy should jump on someone applying for a bookkeeper position like that. That's one position where you don't want someone smart.
 
2012-10-27 08:58:19 AM
Give the poor girl a break. She was just trying to communicate how well she communicates with her excellent communication skills.

/communicate
 
2012-10-27 09:21:36 AM
At least she knows the potential employer read her application.
 
2012-10-27 09:22:29 AM
Must be nice to be an HR person in this job market and still have that much free time to mark up an application that you were just going to trash anyway.
 
2012-10-27 10:42:53 AM
that cover letter was so f*cked up I thought I was reading a Fark headline.
 
2012-10-27 11:17:15 AM

SmackLT: The applicant should take that critique to heart and fix her cover letter.
 
she should also consider herself lucky she didn't land a job working with a pedantic prick.


Dragging people kicking and screaming into the communication norms of civilized society is not the same as being pedantic.
 
2012-10-27 11:27:01 AM
What a dick.
 
2012-10-27 11:36:18 AM

SmackLT: The applicant should take that critique to heart and fix her cover letter.
 
she should also consider herself lucky she didn't land a job working with a pedantic prick.


Came to say this.
 
2012-10-27 11:38:10 AM

SmackLT: she should also consider herself lucky she didn't land a job working with a pedantic prick.


Marcus Aurelius: Must be nice to be an HR person in this job market and still have that much free time to mark up an application that you were just going to trash anyway.


Dear Job Seeker,

Thank you for taking a lot of time to write up a cover letter, resume, and reference sheet. I'm sure that you're really desperate for a stable job and currently are putting in a lot and effort into creating a lot of paperwork designed to give me an overview of your skills and personality without actually having to meet you. Thank you for allowing me this so I can throw your ego out the window.

You see, I can tell several things about you via your cover letter. First, it doesn't 'grab' me at all. Therefore, it goes in the trash. I'm sure you put a lot of hard work into it, which allows me the opportunity to gut your education. Since you don't speak proper English or have enough money to hire a proofreader, this automatically means you're a subpar piece of shiat I can take glee ripping on. And let's be honest, all of this is nonsense, isn't it? I'm just going to hire someone I know and skip the illusion that moving upward has anything to do with skill or talent. No, it is just a popularity contest that favors the lucky few that either learn quickly, happen to make me like them immediately, or follow an arbitrary set of rules designed to see just how desperate you are for a job.

It's pretty cruel, isn't it? I mean, you're just putting yourself out there for work so you can eat and have some sort of standard of living, and I'm using my power to rip you apart for no other reason than I can. Your cover letter may look like shiat, but that could be a variety of things like poor education (which our company should help pay for via taxes, since we have to hire from that population) to a few honest mistakes that any human being can make. But you know what? Too bad. You should be honored to work for our company and we only take the best...or those we know. That makes me job a lot easier, so I don't really have to work.

In short, thanks for applying. Take heart that you're one of the five people I decided to write a response letter to. I have about four hundred resumes on my desk that I'm just going to throw away without any sort of answer or response at all. Well, I might get around to bulk emailing a few months after the fact, but that's just business, isn't it? Anyway, good luck with your job search. I'm sure you'll recover slowly from my pointless and cruel critique during this difficult and scary time and go right back out to get kicked in the teeth again. See how a simple bit of encouragement just masks how malicious and vile I'm being? That's true professionalism.

If you have any questions, please contact me at this number nobody ever checks.

Sincerely,

Human Resources Manager

P.S. - I've already put your name out to our security team in case you want to put a bullet through my useless paper-shoving head.
 
2012-10-27 11:38:20 AM
i hate the your email service isn't the most impressive one at the moment so use a more popular one douchebags.
 
2012-10-27 11:45:35 AM
Call the employer a dick, sure, but that cover letter was completely atrocious. I hope he sent it with corrections back to her, because chances are good that she's using that cover letter as a template for all her applications.  Harsh, but I think it's kinder to give a lesson then trash the application and let the applicant carry on wondering why they're not getting any calls back whatsoever.
 
2012-10-27 11:56:43 AM
I missed out on a job because of a misspelling on my résumé. What sucks is I didn't apply for the job but they pulled my résumé from their résumé editor and attached it to the job without me ever submitting for it. The resume was only about 85% complete but i chose the save and edit later option and the first thing monday morning HR pulled the resume. They called me in for the interview and for ten minutes we talked about that misspelling and other résumé quirks and the importance of "attention to detail".
 
2012-10-27 12:00:34 PM

doyner: SmackLT: The applicant should take that critique to heart and fix her cover letter.
 
she should also consider herself lucky she didn't land a job working with a pedantic prick.

Dragging people kicking and screaming into the communication norms of civilized society is not the same as being pedantic.


telling someone that 110% isnt possible is being a pedantic prick. colloquialisms and common phrases are usually given free license to get their point across by resume reviewers who aren't pedantic pricks.

but at least much of the rest of it was useful for her to improve on the resume.
 
2012-10-27 12:01:18 PM

MaxSupernova: I missed out on a job because of a misspelling on my résumé. What sucks is I didn't apply for the job but they pulled my résumé from their résumé editor and attached it to the job without me ever submitting for it. The resume was only about 85% complete but i chose the save and edit later option and the first thing monday morning HR pulled the resume. They called me in for the interview and for ten minutes we talked about that misspelling and other résumé quirks and the importance of "attention to detail".


That's not the same as intentionally submitting that piece of garbage. Also, why would you keep a draft in an active file system?
 
2012-10-27 12:03:32 PM

error 303: What a dick.


Not disagreeing, but at the same time this person's corrections might help get that applicant a job faster.

Tough love is tough.
 
2012-10-27 12:04:09 PM

The Flexecutioner: doyner: SmackLT: The applicant should take that critique to heart and fix her cover letter.
 
she should also consider herself lucky she didn't land a job working with a pedantic prick.

Dragging people kicking and screaming into the communication norms of civilized society is not the same as being pedantic.

telling someone that 110% isnt possible is being a pedantic prick. colloquialisms and common phrases are usually given free license to get their point across by resume reviewers who aren't pedantic pricks.


Fine. In context, however, it doesn't help.
 
2012-10-27 12:06:24 PM

doyner: MaxSupernova: I missed out on a job because of a misspelling on my résumé. What sucks is I didn't apply for the job but they pulled my résumé from their résumé editor and attached it to the job without me ever submitting for it. The resume was only about 85% complete but i chose the save and edit later option and the first thing monday morning HR pulled the resume. They called me in for the interview and for ten minutes we talked about that misspelling and other résumé quirks and the importance of "attention to detail".

That's not the same as intentionally submitting that piece of garbage. Also, why would you keep a draft in an active file system?


You couldn't attach a word doc so it forced you to use their editor. I've never repeated that mistake again. That was my first time ever really looking for work so I was not overly savvy in the ways of hr.
 
2012-10-27 12:10:35 PM

LooseLips: Call the employer a dick, sure, but that cover letter was completely atrocious. I hope he sent it with corrections back to her, because chances are good that she's using that cover letter as a template for all her applications.  Harsh, but I think it's kinder to give a lesson then trash the application and let the applicant carry on wondering why they're not getting any calls back whatsoever.


True.

I would point out that diction and composition are really hard things to teach, IMHO.

/ still, a simple spell checking program would have partially cleaned up that cover letter...
 
2012-10-27 12:14:15 PM
KEEP CLAM

and

CARRY ON
 
2012-10-27 12:16:49 PM

starlost: i hate the your email service isn't the most impressive one at the moment so use a more popular one douchebags.


I think I might rip on the applicant's username no matter what domain is hiding under the ink, unless her last name actually is "Stylist" (and possibly even then).

That said, the blogger fails as a pedant as well. He has a number of valid points, to be sure, but look towards the end:

... in a successful organized and well-run company.

He corrects that to:

... in a successfully organized and well-run company.

I'm reasonably confident the applicant doesn't want to say (and he doesn't want to hear) that the company is successfully organized; the company is successful and it is organized. (Hopefully it is both of those, at least.) That is, the real correction should be to:

... in a successful, organized, and well-run company.
 
2012-10-27 12:23:06 PM

Araltaln: starlost: i hate the your email service isn't the most impressive one at the moment so use a more popular one douchebags.

I think I might rip on the applicant's username no matter what domain is hiding under the ink, unless her last name actually is "Stylist" (and possibly even then).

That said, the blogger fails as a pedant as well. He has a number of valid points, to be sure, but look towards the end:

... in a successful organized and well-run company.

He corrects that to:

... in a successfully organized and well-run company.

I'm reasonably confident the applicant doesn't want to say (and he doesn't want to hear) that the company is successfully organized; the company is successful and it is organized. (Hopefully it is both of those, at least.) That is, the real correction should be to:

... in a successful, organized, and well-run company.


Sure, if you're one of those Oxford comma heathens!
 
2012-10-27 12:42:39 PM
I don't get the 'clams have attitudes?' correction. Nowhere in the cover letter is "calm" misspelled.
 
2012-10-27 12:44:10 PM
Oh wait, I see it now. It looked like that criticism was connected to the "is" directly underneath the typo.

The "employer" really needs to be a little bit more thorough if he's going to bother being that pedantic in the first place.
 
2012-10-27 12:44:47 PM
That was a pretty bad cover letter, but the person who took the time to correct it and post it on a public forum of all places is a completely insecure prick.

Besides some of the edits aren't even necessarily warranted
- '110%' -- as much as I agree with the editor that this term irritates me and makes no sense, most of us understand it to be a common colloquial term
- 'Meeting deadlines takes care of this' -- actually no, I've worked with tons of people who meet deadlines but don't thoroughly complete tasks (as the applicant asserts)

As a whole the whole letter sounds pretty amateurish though -- no debate there.
 
2012-10-27 12:50:19 PM
At least he corrected it fairly decently. That is better than I seen from most departments. When correcting employee handbooks and sales team papers, I am often horrified at the basic grammar errors and spelling errors. I am not the best writer in the world, and my grammar is pretty atrocious so it pretty bad when I am cringing at stuff not making sense.
 
2012-10-27 12:51:50 PM
Sheesh, there's a lot of defensiveness in this thread I wasn't expecting. It's just somebody posting a terrible cover-letter. Why does this aggravate so many people while PeopleOfWalmart doesn't?
 
2012-10-27 01:18:40 PM

SmackLT: she should also consider herself lucky she didn't land a job working with a pedantic prick.


Picky employers = job security.
 
2012-10-27 01:21:02 PM

Mister Peejay: SmackLT: she should also consider herself lucky she didn't land a job working with a pedantic prick.

Picky employers = job security.


and hair trigger firings if you arent perfect enough.
 
2012-10-27 01:24:30 PM
So he wasted his company time doing something for no money or no profitable purpose?
 
2012-10-27 01:26:00 PM
Remember folks, people studying Liberal Arts are wasting their time.
 
2012-10-27 01:29:45 PM

Guntram Shatterhand: Dear Job Seeker,

Thank you for taking a lot of time to write up a cover letter, resume, and reference sheet. I'm sure that you're really desperate for a stable job and currently are putting in a lot and effort into creating a lot of paperwork designed to give me an overview of your skills and personality without actually having to meet you. Thank you for allowing me this so I can throw your ego out the window.

You see, I can tell several things about you via your cover letter. First, it doesn't 'grab' me at all. Therefore, it goes in the trash. I'm sure you put a lot of hard work into it, which allows me the opportunity to gut your education. Since you don't speak proper English or have enough money to hire a proofreader, this automatically means you're a subpar piece of shiat I can take glee ripping on. And let's be honest, all of this is nonsense, isn't it? I'm just going to hire someone I know and skip the illusion that moving upward has anything to do with skill or talent. No, it is just a popularity contest that favors the lucky few that either learn quickly, happen to make me like them immediately, or follow an arbitrary set of rules designed to see just how desperate you are for a job.

It's pretty cruel, isn't it? I mean, you're just putting yourself out there for work so you can eat and have some sort of standard of living, and I'm using my power to rip you apart for no other reason than I can. Your cover letter may look like shiat, but that could be a variety of things like poor education (which our company should help pay for via taxes, since we have to hire from that population) to a few honest mistakes that any human being can make. But you know what? Too bad. You should be honored to work for our company and we only take the best...or those we know. That makes me job a lot easier, so I don't really have to work.

In short, thanks for applying. Take heart that you're one of the five people I decided to write a response letter t ...



Please don't write as you'd speak. Writing a letter is a different skill than stringing together a bunch of sentences one after another.
 
2012-10-27 01:32:32 PM
He bashes the 110% remark and gives a pass to "I work great as a team and work very well independently as well." Ha-rumph.

Is it pedantic to critique a critique?
 
2012-10-27 01:33:51 PM
I work well as a team and work very well independently as well.

I work well in a team and work very well independently.

Missed that one, didn't you, Mister Language Person? Dock yourself ten Superiority points.
 
2012-10-27 01:40:05 PM
As an employer I see far too many resumes and applications with bad spelling and sub-par writing skills. My feeling is that the applicant will approach my business with the same lax attitude as their schooling and so I file them under "No."
 
2012-10-27 01:40:08 PM

LouDobbsAwaaaay: Sheesh, there's a lot of defensiveness in this thread I wasn't expecting. It's just somebody posting a terrible cover-letter. Why does this aggravate so many people while PeopleOfWalmart doesn't?


I don't think it's defensiveness, it's people reacting to the public humiliation of another person and general assholeishness of the guy. Notice the "get a real email address" at the top? That's not useful criticism, that's being somebody who inflicts pain for sport.
 
2012-10-27 01:47:07 PM
 
2012-10-27 01:50:10 PM
I can sympathize with the recruiter/HR person here. I am on my company's recruiting team and have to deal with college kids graduating and looking for a position at our firm. Recently we had on-campus interviews and while fliipping through the resumes, one stood out because he had also penned a cover letter expressing his excitement for potentially coming to work for our company, and made several specific references that indicated he may have done some research about us.

During the interview I asked what should have been a softball obvious question. He had stated that (my company) had risen head and shoulders above the competition with respect to our capabilities in the industry. My question to him was "who was our competition?". I received a total deer-in-headlights response as he couldn't name one other company that he could've been considered competition.

Simple lesson....be prepared to back up your statements in an interview
 
2012-10-27 01:54:27 PM
Meanwhile, a good portion of resumes are processed by computer programs these days that do not give a crap about spelling or grammar, so long as a the proper keywords are present.

Job seekers need to be smart about their applications. Small business? Use a tailored resume. Recruiter or large company? Send a "kitchen" sink resumes with short sentences and the right keywords sprinkled throughout - forget the cover letter no one will read it.
 
2012-10-27 02:08:02 PM
"I am eager to be a potential employee [asasit] at your company."

Good thing this person is eager to be a "potential employee" cause with a crap cover letter like the one he sent for this job opening he certainly isn't going to be an "actual employee."
 
2012-10-27 02:55:25 PM
Dear Mr. Mynameisinthead

You are absolutely correct that my writing skills are, well, mediocre. So my texts need to be proofread, which is usually done by a friend of mine, who happens to work for your company. But this person told me that he/she is currently very busy, because his/her boss "doesn't get shiat done". This "insufferable pedantic douche" - his/her words - prefers to deal with insignificant trivia. So he/she suggested to send my unedited application to you and - tadaa - I now work for company XYZ, where I earn 20 percent more and experience a friendly and loyal atmosphere. Thanks for your proofreading efforts to get me this job.

PS. My friend in the company is the person who also spits in your lunchbag, although he/she thinks not to be the only one.

Sincerely...
 
2012-10-27 03:03:00 PM

The Flexecutioner: Mister Peejay: SmackLT: she should also consider herself lucky she didn't land a job working with a pedantic prick.

Picky employers = job security.

and hair trigger firings if you arent perfect enough.


Well, maybe. I've been with my company for close to eight years now. Before they hired me, there were something like 10 people in my position in the previous year.

I figure, they know how hard it is to find someone who meets their standards of anal-retentiveness. Which is fine by me, because I also can't stand working for companies who have low standards.
 
2012-10-27 03:05:15 PM

HempHead: Remember folks, people studying Liberal Arts are wasting their time.


Maybe not "Liberal Arts" in the 17th Century Prussian Hosiery Major kind of way, but DAMN, engineers have got nothing on actual artists for horrible grammar and spelling.
 
2012-10-27 03:37:29 PM
did he/she correct this and post it online to feel superior or was this done and handed back to the applicant as a way to help them.
 
2012-10-27 03:41:21 PM

Mentat: That employer doesn't have a clam attitude.


i18.photobucket.com
 
2012-10-27 03:53:27 PM
While I hate most HR people as a rule, I have to side with them as far as a zero tolerance policy on the paperwork. You as the applicant have all the time in the world to refine and perfect the resume, cover letter, and any other application-related forms. You have time to check and double-check everything, to give it your best shot. Just as you hopefully would execute your tasks, should I hire you.

To then submit some crap with bad spelling and grammar shows you are not qualified or didn't give a shiat. If I'm hiring, there are many applicants out there to choose from in a down economy: I can afford to be exacting and demanding. I will choose the person who made the extra effort.

What I find striking in all FARK threads on this topic is the number of respondents who are infuriated by this policy out of all normal proportion. I don't know why this seems so unfair and monstrous to them, but I have a theory. My theory is the whiners are younger and over-entitled, and were never held to high standards of personal performance in any tasks by their parents, (with consequences for failure) as they grew up.

Not every job requires hyper precision, all the time. However, a lot of them do. You become the company's public face to the world; your skills, or lack thereof, reflect on the company and can directly impact sales.

So "good enough" or "sort of done" or "but I tried", is NOT good enough in the real world. If your parents never made you do a task over to get it right, and just let you skate with half-assed efforts all thru your youth, well, they might have been trying to be nice to you, but they did you no favors.

I'm saying this as a flaming liberal: I don't know your back story. Your job as the applicant is to sell me on why you are the best fit for the opening and what your best qualities are. If you are in fact not well-educated in spelling and grammar, that's on you. That's something you should work on to improve, and don't tell me sad stories about privation and lack of opportunity. Go fix your farking problem. I meet people all the time that have worked their way up from circumstances I can't imagine myself overcoming. They don't make excuses, they make an effort. They work at their problem until they beat it, and they are not too proud to ask for help if they need it. There are free resources, there is the public library, there are reading and literacy programs you can sign up for in just about every town, there are free resources online... I mean, you can turn on a free farking spell-checker with one click. If you can't be bothered to make that little bit of effort, you're not going to work out on the job, anywhere.

It is not dickish HR people or employers that make it a problem: it is an applicant that gives less than their best and expects everyone to meet them half-way, that's that problem. If I want to go out on a first date, I bathe and shave and brush my teeth and put on the best clothes I own. If I go on a date unwashed, with bad breath, in shlumpy, dirty clothes, and the girl says we're done, I don't blame the girl for not lowering her standards, looking beyond the externals and automatically recognizing the supposed awesomeness that is the Inner Me. My presentation has shown her that I didn't think she was worth the effort of courting and thus learning more about me, and that my ego was unable to let me try harder.
 
2012-10-27 03:54:16 PM

The My Little Pony Killer: I don't get the 'clams have attitudes?' correction. Nowhere in the cover letter is "calm" misspelled.


Sure it is, which is why he made that comment. Take a look at the fifth bullet point, fourth word.
 
Displayed 50 of 170 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report