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(Daily Mail)   Researchers propose using large space based paintball gun to deflect 27 gigaton asteroid away from Earth -- just in case Bruce Willis isn't available   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 24
    More: Unlikely, asteroids, Earth, Bruce Willis, reflectivity, geosynchronous satellite, observational astronomy, solar radiation, albedo  
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1998 clicks; posted to Geek » on 26 Oct 2012 at 10:03 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-10-26 10:08:44 PM
t0.gstatic.com
 
2012-10-26 10:14:22 PM
Yes, this is like a paintball gun in the same way that a fire hose is like a water pistol.
 
2012-10-26 10:14:55 PM
Magnetic rails circling the moon could be used to fire high mass objects at the asteroid.

/idunno
 
2012-10-26 10:27:49 PM

p4p3rm4t3: Magnetic rails circling the moon could be used to fire high mass objects at the asteroid.

/idunno


...or at Earth. Unless you pay me one... billion dollars! Bwahahaha-Bwahahahahahahahaha
 
2012-10-26 10:30:44 PM
A stitch in time ...
 
2012-10-26 10:36:02 PM
But of course.
 
2012-10-26 10:44:16 PM
Hmm. Interesting idea, but it feels weak. Like trying to heat your pool by taking a piss in it. I guess if you catch it far enough out even a tiny change can make a very big difference in trajectory over a long enough timeline, but that's slow and boring.

I think I like that one dudes idea up-thread involving railguns on the moon. Turning the moon into an orbiting weapons platform is awesome. Spray-painting an asteroid decades before it poses a problem is decidedly non-awesome.

In short : Where's the kaboom? There was supposed to be an Earth-shattering kaboom!
 
2012-10-26 10:57:00 PM
The fancy paint gun plan has collapsed.
www.wearysloth.com
Now our only hope is to do the job manually.

Meet America's newest astronaut heroes!

graphics8.nytimes.com

Que?
 
2012-10-26 10:59:45 PM

TheOther: The fancy paint gun plan has collapsed.

Now our only hope is to do the job manually.

Meet America's newest astronaut heroes!



Que?


No big deal, while we're busy finding someone to blame and cutting funding Russia or China will fix that little mess for us.
 
2012-10-26 11:09:35 PM

p4p3rm4t3: Magnetic rails circling the moon could be used to fire high mass objects at the asteroid.


images1.wikia.nocookie.net

Knows a little something about hurling massive objects.
 
2012-10-26 11:19:04 PM
Wait, the other option was shooting Bruyce Willis at it? Maybe through one of those huge cannons Saddam was supposed to have?
 
2012-10-26 11:19:32 PM
Painting asteroids is forward thinking. And a giant space paintball gun will come in real handy for games of giant space-based paintball. But back to the subject of painting the universe, one object at a time, we need to first focus on the Moon Project - painting the Moon in luminous paint so that it appears full at all times, and then pastel-ing the rest our solar system - Jupiter pink, Uranus lime green, Neptune bright orange, and so on. Large-scale galactic painting projects will shy away from solids and focus mostly on plaids and stripes, and nebula will probably just be wall-papered. But we need to get started.
 
2012-10-27 12:05:24 AM

The One True TheDavid: Wait, the other option was shooting Bruyce Willis at it? Maybe through one of those huge cannons Saddam was supposed to have?


No, you dolt! See, Bruce cruises in with some wine coolers and his tough-guy persona, before you know it they're in "binary orbit" if you catch my drift, then Bruce lights one up and the asteroid staggers off, trying to figure out why it left the belt when it could have just gorged on ice cream and watched Ben Affleck movies in denial. AKA "Wednesday Night," except this time the asteroid's not from Ohio.
 
2012-10-27 12:49:38 AM
Ahem... That's 27 gigatons of mineable ore outside of the earth's gravity well with no environmental regulations.

/Maybe a Gateway?
//Nah.
 
2012-10-27 01:03:01 AM
That's a strange way for scientists to propose. It's easier to use the jumbotron.
 
2012-10-27 01:07:12 AM
Just mark where it's going to land and pile up a bunch of cardboard boxes of styrofoam packing "peanuts" on the X.
 
2012-10-27 02:22:06 AM
I've been saying this fora while now. The rock is not just deflected by reflected photons, but by Yarkovsky Effect from differential solar heating. A tiny push with enough time can make millions of miles difference eventually.

Your problem is that the interceptor has a very tough job if you have to launch from Earth and fly direct, then mach velocities. That's a hell of a lot of delta-v to throw around. You ideally want very advanced early detection, plus a fleet of interceptors already out there on long slow parking orbits, ready to vector into an easy intercept from behind the incoming rock.

This takes metric assloads of money.
 
2012-10-27 02:25:31 AM
We're far closer to a Farside Cannon.

Send a solar powered laser factory to the moon, and let it convert the surface into solar powered lasers. Then point all the lasers at whatever you want to destroy. Also take over the solar system sort of by accident.
 
2012-10-27 02:41:09 AM

Charles_Nelson_Reilly: That's a strange way for scientists to propose. It's easier to use the jumbotron.


The thought of pelting someone repeatedly with a a paintball gun, only to have them go home and find the welts spell "WILL U MARRY ME?" made me spittake my beer, you prick.
 
2012-10-27 07:41:56 AM
Yah, let's just alter the course of a bigass space rock. Let it become a problem for someone else. That would -never- come back to bite us in the ass.
 
2012-10-27 09:21:40 AM

PirateKing: We're far closer to a Farside Cannon.

Send a solar powered laser factory to the moon, and let it convert the surface into solar powered lasers. Then point all the lasers at whatever you want to destroy. Also take over the solar system sort of by accident.


It's not as if we are sharing our solar system with anyone else right now.
 
2012-10-27 09:47:27 AM
Dave Lister approves !

/// "She rises ! "
 
2012-10-27 11:52:40 AM

PirateKing: We're far closer to a Farside Cannon.

Send a solar powered laser factory to the moon, and let it convert the surface into solar powered lasers. Then point all the lasers at whatever you want to destroy. Also take over the solar system sort of by accident.


I always liked Allen.
 
2012-10-27 02:24:08 PM
If Bruce Willis isn't around, we can still use Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

geektyrant.com
 
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