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(via Real Beer)   Man realizes more people would go to church if they could get drunk   ( divider line
    More: Hero  
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3183 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Nov 2001 at 1:45 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

52 Comments     (+0 »)

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2001-11-20 01:49:08 PM  
Sign me up!!!!!!!!
2001-11-20 01:49:12 PM  
nothing like drunk happy religous type folks to make one feel warm inside. -wait, did jebus drink?
2001-11-20 01:49:31 PM  
is the tab on the church?
2001-11-20 01:49:33 PM  
Is that blonde skank on the page gonna be supplying a round of helmet for the boys after the service?
2001-11-20 01:50:29 PM  
Now if they could just have service in whore houses....
2001-11-20 01:55:03 PM  
Rev. Spittle?
2001-11-20 02:01:39 PM  
I bet they get some really good stories from the drunks during the service.

"And then {Hic} I shayz to her, 'Your so pretty. You are shoo pretty.' But she walked away {Hic}."
2001-11-20 02:01:59 PM  
Hmmm.. take the whole church part out and you can count me in big time!
2001-11-20 02:03:20 PM  
This is what he tells about the minister moving the Virgin statue away from his learing eyes.
2001-11-20 02:04:30 PM  
Vexhex: Yes, Jesus did drink...he didn't get drunk, but like many countries still to this day, it was perfectly all right in that society to have wine with your meal and to enjoy a glass of wine and so on.

It's good to see this happening! It's the sort of thing that Jesus would be doing if He were around today. He's the type of guy who went up to people (not religious people mind you) and would be like, "Hey, let's go get a beer and talk."

We used to live in a house off campus of Middle TN State and we had a bible study every Sunday night in our place. We had a pool table and a wet bar, so it was great hang out place (God, I miss it). After bible study, we'd walk down to the corner to Davis Market and get a few six packs of a good import brew and shoot pool and talk theology.

C.S. Lewis, Martin Luther and many other Christian leaders and theologians were well known to just hang out in pubs and kick a few back while enjoying a good cigar or pipe.

Again, good to see Christian leaders with a brain.
2001-11-20 02:04:45 PM  
This sounds like a valid argument to me! Count me in for extra communion this week!
2001-11-20 02:05:50 PM  
What church does the blonde attend?
2001-11-20 02:19:16 PM  
Pointless use of the hero tag. Thanks guys.
2001-11-20 02:20:05 PM  
Oh no. not again.

I used to be a bartender at a pub. This group of church-types would come in on sunday after church, have a couple of pints, and talk theology.

Then, they'd start slowly saying prayers in unison.

Then, one would pull out a guitar and it would be hymn and Sunday School music time. getting louder, and louder.
"Michael, row your boat ashore..."; "This little light of mine", etc.

We finally asked them not to come back anymore.

i hope if they're doing this, they're respectful enough to do it at a time when there's noone else in the pub. it's just rude.
2001-11-20 02:20:22 PM  
They should put buckets at the end of the pews for the real hard partying drunks.
"Awwww Ggaaaawwwdddd,I see the light,never(PUKE)...take another drink(PUKE etc...)"
2001-11-20 02:32:20 PM  
Take all your drunken frat buddies to church and let 'em loose.

2001-11-20 02:35:25 PM  
One of Jesus' first miracles was to keep a party going by making water into wine. He went to parties with folks who knew how to party and hung out with them, letting them know that they were loved and that he was there to be their friend. He was probably the kind of guy who would hold your hair back when you puked. I know a lot of "Rightous" people who would not be happy with Jesus if he was here today, because that's what he'd be doing.

And back then, if you didn't mix alcohol with water, the water would kill you.
2001-11-20 02:35:54 PM  
Kesgrave is oooooh so close to home. Maybe I should visit when I'm there this christmas.
2001-11-20 02:37:04 PM  
Anyone else really hate that word: "pub" ?
2001-11-20 02:44:33 PM  
Yea, shouldn't be named after a blunt weopon such as "bar" or "club".
2001-11-20 02:46:37 PM  
I personally hate the words "Brittany Spears".
2001-11-20 02:49:03 PM  
Some joker comes preaching in my local bar he's likely to leave with a pint glass in each nostril.

He can leave his blond friend, though.
2001-11-20 02:53:11 PM  

I think I understand the concept...

The more drunk I get, the better the religion looks...

2001-11-20 02:53:23 PM  

not sure I want to get drunk with a pack of fundies.

now, a pack of funyuns might be okay.

as long as they go with "Polygamy Porter".
2001-11-20 02:59:18 PM  
Make religion more! I'll go every Sunday.
2001-11-20 03:02:41 PM  
Natax...fundies would think most of us Christians that drink are heathens that are seriously misguided. Funny, they don't know the Jesus of the Bible.

Kerouac...yeah, that would be annoying. I think that would suck for all parties involved.
2001-11-20 03:08:05 PM  
Glenlivid: Don't you mean come? And I'd come every day, not just Sunday...Or maybe not on Sunday, ya know, a day of rest.
2001-11-20 03:13:36 PM  
Hijinx --

You ever hear of the White Horse Inn?

And yes, most of the theological discussion and debate took place at places such as the WHI and various pubs around England and the Continent during the Reformation and thereafter.

Glad to have "sober" people like you around at (N.B.: no sarcasm intended)
2001-11-20 03:17:25 PM  
BAKup: Caught me while I wasn't thinkin. On the other hand, if I'm not getting everyday, I'll definitely be there on Sunday!
2001-11-20 03:17:37 PM  
WWJD What would Jesus drink?
2001-11-20 03:24:16 PM  
DrDave: "Polygamy Porter" of course!
2001-11-20 03:26:11 PM  
When will the religious types learn that more and more people aren't falling for this God and Jebus crap? It seems apparent since nobody wants to go. When will the sex and heroin churches start up? They're going to need it.
2001-11-20 03:28:20 PM  
Thanks, Warren. I've only heard of it. I'm actually realizing that I have turned into quite the reformist. I'm about a 3.5 point Calvinist now and I go to a reform church now after years in Charismaniac churches and southern baptist weirdness.
2001-11-20 03:30:47 PM  
Not only church, but many more functions would benefit from alcohol consumption. Especially if it's on someone else's bill!
2001-11-20 03:48:47 PM  
i'll take a 12-pack of Desciples Lager and some pretzels please
2001-11-20 04:06:31 PM  
BTW, Ravi Zacharias is TERRIFIC!
2001-11-20 04:51:28 PM  
I agree wholeheatedly.... Hijinx: Amen. :-) As a Christian that enjoys a good pint, and as a Messianic that drinks at least 4 cups of wine during Passover, I think today's fundamentalists would be a bit surprised if they met Jesus today. At the same time though, I doubt very much he would condone drunkedness, or get hosed himself. In moderation, I'm sure he could party with the best of em'!
2001-11-20 05:15:39 PM  
Do you ever suspect that the whole Eucharist thing has gotten way overblown?

I mean, what if Jesus was just saying, 'Hey, this bread and this wine, when I eat it, becomes my flesh and blood. So, when you have parties like this after I'm gone, remember me, and drink a toast for me.'

Do you think?
2001-11-20 05:23:51 PM  
I must side with JimDunlop and Hijinx. A lot of fundamentalists wouldn't recognize Jesus if he bit them in the butt. Not that you'd want to bite a fundie in the butt.

I find it ironic, and sad really, that churches claim to be devoted to Jesus, yet so many times go against what Jesus taught. Jesus pissed off the fundies of his time, and if he was here, he would piss off the fundies now. Good for him. As a Christian, I follow what Jesus taught, and if that pisses off the religious right, all the better.
2001-11-20 05:29:40 PM  
Now combine this with the Jamaican Coptic church,then we could smoke dope and drink!I'd sit through church anyday!
2001-11-20 05:32:16 PM  
Glad to know I'm not the only anti-fundie Xian around Fark.

JimD. I'm with you...He wouldn't get sloshed, and he would probably drink Trappist Ales liek Chimay :-)

Soporific...checked your profile...glad to know I'm not the only Buffy fan in Christendom too! :-)

And Warren, glad you're a RZ fan, too...I thought I was well-read and had a huge vocabulary, then I started listening to and reading Ravi's stuff...I had to buy a new dictionary!
2001-11-20 05:42:50 PM  
Nanookanano --

You really want to discourse the Eucharist in this forum?

Man, that's a HOT topic even within Christian circles ... always has been ... and has led to internecine warfare within the Church. It (the topic) has little hope of getting off the ground here at
2001-11-20 05:50:19 PM  
Well, its a small filler story in a low quality british tabloid, so i MUST be true!

Jeez, i`m starting to really miss submissions from Ananova.
2001-11-20 05:51:36 PM  
Oh farking hell!
"so i must be true" should have been "IT must be true" obviously.

2001-11-20 06:46:42 PM  
<drunken slurring>

God, I luuuv youuuu. I mean it man. Yuurrrr the besht God in the whoole goddamned world. *HICK*

{singing of hyms that rhyme}

</drunken slurring>
2001-11-20 07:19:31 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2001-11-20 07:41:22 PM  
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
(Attributed to Benjamin Franklin)

You're probably right, "War And Peace."
However, the point remains that wine has always been part of the celebration. It has been the Church that excludes wine, or reduces it to tiny thimbles of grape juice. The followers of the teachings of Jesus have no problem with drinking a glass of wine.

There is a reason that both phrases are in the book:
Wine makes you feel good. Too much makes you act a fool.
2001-11-20 07:57:58 PM  
A lot of wine will make you feel good about being with a fool.
2001-11-20 08:44:13 PM  
It was like 1 part wine 3 parts water back in Jesus' time, so you wouldn't get loaded and start puking on people and there was something nice to drink

It would take you about 4 times as many drinks, so you would be pissing out a lake before things started to blur
2001-11-20 09:45:57 PM  
That is pretty much the way I drink at a party:

One mixed drink.
One virgin drink.
Wipe hands on pants.
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