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(Daily Mail)   Oh The Possibilities: Female contortionist brings new meaning to the term flexible, and her new calendar shows off that flexibility around the office   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 62
    More: Spiffy, mass suicide, October Surprise, mean business, Gloria Allred, Marie Antoinette  
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28913 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Oct 2012 at 12:23 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-10-25 12:25:45 PM  
30 votes:
i.dailymail.co.uk

Almost... Republican... Push... Harder!
2012-10-25 12:38:10 PM  
9 votes:
she escaped from Mitt's binder
2012-10-25 12:34:47 PM  
8 votes:
Meanwhile, in the Ministry of Silly Walks:

i.dailymail.co.uk
2012-10-25 12:32:59 PM  
8 votes:
Gah, no thanks. Someone like that could probably slip the restraints.
2012-10-25 12:47:26 PM  
6 votes:
meowcheese.com
2012-10-25 12:36:08 PM  
6 votes:
Holy moly that girl could lick your nuggets while you hit that box. It's like a three way one way.
2012-10-25 03:29:52 PM  
4 votes:

HighZoolander: Abe Vigoda's Ghost: abhorrent1: "ZOMG she can lick her own box". Really? Box? Who says that? Maybe if they left the house once in a while they'd see a real live girl.

[i50.tinypic.com image 634x752]

Bet you feel stupid now.

Oh My God! Do you have the original of that picture?


i48.tinypic.com
2012-10-25 01:25:52 PM  
4 votes:
i.dailymail.co.uk

Wow, that's exactly how I package my dead hookers for disposal.
2012-10-25 01:04:10 PM  
4 votes:
I'll be in my cupboard.
2012-10-25 12:47:45 PM  
4 votes:

abhorrent1: Jesus. This thread is full of farking 12 year-olds.


farking 12 year olds? What, you think we're priests?
2012-10-25 11:45:32 AM  
4 votes:
imageshack.us
2012-10-25 05:52:58 PM  
3 votes:

Ed Grubermann: Keizer_Ghidorah: freewill: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 306x423] 

The g/f hates it when I make her do this position, but it's so much easier to finish on her face and make sure it gets in her hair.

I will never understand the obsession with jizzing on a woman's face.

Kids today grow up on porn. They accept porn tropes as normal sexual behavior. Like their obsession with bald beavers.


What's so erotic about this?

sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net
2012-10-25 02:01:14 PM  
3 votes:
i.dailymail.co.uk

She might not be able to eat herself out...but she could lick your balls while you farked her.

i29.photobucket.com
2012-10-25 01:55:16 PM  
3 votes:

abhorrent1: "ZOMG she can lick her own box". Really? Box? Who says that? Maybe if they left the house once in a while they'd see a real live girl.


i50.tinypic.com

Bet you feel stupid now.
2012-10-25 01:24:07 PM  
3 votes:
I have the weirdest boner right now... it's bent in half.
2012-10-25 12:37:05 PM  
3 votes:
Searches the furniture section of Office Depot, comes away disappointed....

i.dailymail.co.uk
2012-10-25 12:16:55 PM  
3 votes:
Oh... oh my indeed. You could be shagging her while she tosses your salad.

web.mit.edu
2012-10-25 05:07:30 PM  
2 votes:

Marmilman: abhorrent1: Really? Box? Who says that?

Sometimes I say "treasure box" but prefer to call it a hot pocket.


Hot pocket?

HAAAAA that's great!

I'm reminded of the Jim Gaffigan bit. "I've never eaten a hot pocket and then gone 'I'm really glad I ate that!'"
2012-10-25 02:48:31 PM  
2 votes:
i.imgur.com

Admit it. You've all tried to do it.
2012-10-25 02:23:44 PM  
2 votes:
If she was from the Philippines, you could cal her a........



"Manila Folder".


/Tip your waitresses....
2012-10-25 02:03:00 PM  
2 votes:
i.dailymail.co.uk

I've been in meetings where people use this method for coming up with some of their data.
2012-10-25 01:57:19 PM  
2 votes:
She could wash 3 dishes at once!
2012-10-25 01:50:16 PM  
2 votes:

vudukungfu: dated a girl like that once.
Her nick name was Gumby.


That was because she had no teeth.
2012-10-25 01:32:28 PM  
2 votes:

jabelar: Too bad she doesn't also have the really long tongue gene


I know of only one really long tongue Gene, and the only woman who hasn't had him is Terry Gross.
2012-10-25 01:29:04 PM  
2 votes:

lenabena: My boyfriend claims he's been with a contortionist who could 1.go down on herself 2. Lick his balls while he farked her.


/there's no competing with that
//slashes are my only consultation


So he settled then
2012-10-25 12:55:45 PM  
2 votes:
Too bad the Republicans want to make contortion illegal.
2012-10-25 12:44:22 PM  
2 votes:

EatTheWorld: she escaped from Mitt's binder


A gold star for you today.
2012-10-25 12:24:57 PM  
2 votes:
It'd probably get old after a while.
2012-10-26 12:06:34 AM  
1 votes:

ArkAngel: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 306x464]

I bet a dozen Fortune 500 CEO's at least are trying to get this table


At Generalized Misogyny Industries, we produce the world's premiere line of submissive woman-shaped furniture. From the same people who brought you the leg lamp, comes this new credenza...
2012-10-25 08:55:41 PM  
1 votes:

MoronLessOff: kiwimoogle84: Marmilman: abhorrent1: Really? Box? Who says that?

Sometimes I say "treasure box" but prefer to call it a hot pocket.

Hot pocket?

HAAAAA that's great!

I'm reminded of the Jim Gaffigan bit. "I've never eaten a hot pocket and then gone 'I'm really glad I ate that!'"

For the record, I love hot pockets.

Take that as you will.


images3.wikia.nocookie.net
2012-10-25 05:13:22 PM  
1 votes:

MoronLessOff: kiwimoogle84: Marmilman: abhorrent1: Really? Box? Who says that?

Sometimes I say "treasure box" but prefer to call it a hot pocket.

Hot pocket?

HAAAAA that's great!

I'm reminded of the Jim Gaffigan bit. "I've never eaten a hot pocket and then gone 'I'm really glad I ate that!'"

For the record, I love hot pockets.

Take that as you will.


Oh, you.
2012-10-25 05:12:05 PM  
1 votes:

kiwimoogle84: Marmilman: abhorrent1: Really? Box? Who says that?

Sometimes I say "treasure box" but prefer to call it a hot pocket.

Hot pocket?

HAAAAA that's great!

I'm reminded of the Jim Gaffigan bit. "I've never eaten a hot pocket and then gone 'I'm really glad I ate that!'"


For the record, I love hot pockets.

Take that as you will.
2012-10-25 03:49:37 PM  
1 votes:

Anastacya: Wow thank you for the compliments, all. I'm truly flattered :)



Best Indications of Extolment are Exhibited In Private.
2012-10-25 02:13:03 PM  
1 votes:

Your Boss: WhippingBoy: abhorrent1: Ed Grubermann: abhorrent1: Jesus. This thread is full of farking 12 year-olds.

All guys are 12 when it comes to hot chicks (or dudes, if that's the way they swing).

Maybe you are. Or they are and that's why they're all forever alone virgins living in mommies basement. I mean all this, "ZOMG she can lick her own box". Really? Box? Who says that? Maybe if they left the house once in a while they'd see a real live girl.

/stay classy
//losers
///I know, welcometofark.jgp

I know, right? Usually comments in Fark threads are reminiscent of McLaughlin Group discussions. Where's Pat Buchanan when you need him?

He's over in the corner punching the clown.


That's an odd euphemism for fapping.
2012-10-25 02:06:36 PM  
1 votes:
im gonna need a bigger bottle of lotion
2012-10-25 02:04:48 PM  
1 votes:

abhorrent1: Ed Grubermann: abhorrent1: Jesus. This thread is full of farking 12 year-olds.

All guys are 12 when it comes to hot chicks (or dudes, if that's the way they swing).

Maybe you are. Or they are and that's why they're all forever alone virgins living in mommies basement. I mean all this, "ZOMG she can lick her own box". Really? Box? Who says that? Maybe if they left the house once in a while they'd see a real live girl.

/stay classy
//losers
///I know, welcometofark.jgp


I know, right? Usually comments in Fark threads are reminiscent of McLaughlin Group discussions. Where's Pat Buchanan when you need him?
2012-10-25 01:50:53 PM  
1 votes:
I think I'm one of the only guys who is really not turned on by women who are that flexible. I mean I've gotten by just fine without running into a woman who is.

However, it would be awesome to watch her eat herself out.
2012-10-25 01:21:59 PM  
1 votes:
www.hwdyk.com

JERRY: I couldn't believe it. Uh, I mean I thought I was entering a "magical world" of sensual delights, but it was just so ordinary. I mean, there was nothing gymnastic about it.

ELAINE: Well, what did you think she was gonna do?

JERRY: Well, you know. I mean... I dunno.

ELAINE: No, what?

JERRY: Well, obviously I prefer not to mention any, you know...

ELAINE: What did you think, she was going to take some of that chalk and...

JERRY: You see, now I really don't want to get into this, any kind of specifics...

ELAINE: Oh, come on. One thing? One thing! What?

JERRY: Well... Frankly, I thought, you know, I was gonna kinda' be like the apparatus.

KRAMER: You mean like the uneven parallel bars?

JERRY: See, again, I really don't feel that...

ELAINE: The balance beam?

JERRY: Could we stop?

ELAINE: (gasps in mock surprise) Not the pommel horse?

JERRY: All right. Let's just drop it.
2012-10-25 01:17:18 PM  
1 votes:
i1021.photobucket.com
2012-10-25 01:10:51 PM  
1 votes:

Starhawk: sweet-daddy-2: What I've always wondered when seeing these ladies is how long can they hold a position with 200 lbs. of male battering ram coming at them.

at?


pulled out but missed?
2012-10-25 01:04:24 PM  
1 votes:
What I've always wondered when seeing these ladies is how long can they hold a position with 200 lbs. of male battering ram coming at them.
2012-10-25 01:02:07 PM  
1 votes:
*sigh* All this is gonna do is make the somewhat chubby, marginally attractive girls at closing time on Saturday night seem even less appealing...
2012-10-25 01:01:19 PM  
1 votes:
Initially read that as "female Creationist" and immediately had some very mixed feelings.
2012-10-25 12:49:55 PM  
1 votes:
BOOKmark
2012-10-25 12:48:15 PM  
1 votes:

abhorrent1: Jesus. This threadFark is full of farking 12 year-olds.


/12
2012-10-25 12:47:11 PM  
1 votes:
t5ak.roblox.com
2012-10-25 12:44:16 PM  
1 votes:

CCCarnie: EZ Writer: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x752]

Almost... Republican... Push... Harder!

I'm normally someone that just groans when there's some political bashing going on outside of the politics tab... But that was hilarious. 1 Funny vote for you, fine sir.


Dammit! Now I have to update my profile...
2012-10-25 12:43:52 PM  
1 votes:
I would seriously consider killing a random person for 4 hours with her.

Or we could play the "Who Would You Go Through" game!


Let's see...I would go through Roseanne Barr to get to this contortionist.
2012-10-25 12:43:03 PM  
1 votes:
RTFA: OMG, I'll be in my bunk.
2012-10-25 12:41:57 PM  
1 votes:
There once was a woman from Nantucket....
2012-10-25 12:37:35 PM  
1 votes:
I could do that, I just choose not to.
2012-10-25 12:37:10 PM  
1 votes:
high risk of face farticles
2012-10-25 12:37:06 PM  
1 votes:
That photo almost looks like she's giving birth to herself.

/you know which one
//thought the same thing everyone else thought when I saw it
2012-10-25 12:33:41 PM  
1 votes:
I've got a new requirement for the women I date...
2012-10-25 12:33:29 PM  
1 votes:
I'll take two.
2012-10-25 12:33:05 PM  
1 votes:
I think I'm in love...
2012-10-25 12:32:57 PM  
1 votes:
now this i can fap to
2012-10-25 12:32:11 PM  
1 votes:

EZ Writer: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x752]

Almost... Republican... Push... Harder!


OMG that made me laugh
2012-10-25 12:28:21 PM  
1 votes:

unchellmatt: Oh... oh my indeed. You could be shagging her while she tosses your salad.

[web.mit.edu image 320x240]


Great minds think alike!
2012-10-25 12:28:13 PM  
1 votes:
i.dailymail.co.uk

Never go ATM
2012-10-25 12:27:44 PM  
1 votes:
easy to stash in the suitcase. Won't even need a saw.
2012-10-25 11:30:15 AM  
1 votes:
i.dailymail.co.uk

So basically she doesn't need anyone else for oral...
 
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