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(Telegraph)   Execution Texas style: lay on a cot while being injected with drugs. Execution North Korea style: stand on the X while we launch a mortar at you   (telegraph.co.uk) divider line 98
    More: Strange, North Koreans, North Korean army, firing squads, mourning, Kim Jong Il, head of state  
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15118 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Oct 2012 at 1:53 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



98 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-10-24 10:16:32 PM  
If I was going to pick a way to be executed, that would be near the top of my list. Assuming things like "dying from sexual exhaustion induced by a platoon of oiled up centerfolds" were off the table, that is.

/Or "being smothered by Christina Hendricks' curvy bits"
 
2012-10-24 10:25:39 PM  
I'd actually prefer the mortar, it's a hell of alot more macho
 
2012-10-25 12:28:34 AM  
Here's the article from Chosun Ilbo that the Telegraph and the Daily Fail got their info from. Notice the complete lack of mortar shell anywhere.

N.Korean Vice Defense Chief Executed by Firing Squad
North Korea's vice minister of the People's Armed Forces was among senior officers executed by firing squad early this year for drinking alcohol during the mourning period for former leader Kim Jong-il, it emerged Tuesday.

According to intelligence data submitted to lawmaker Yoon Sang-hyun of the National Assembly's Foreign Affairs, Trade and Unification Committee, new North Korean leader Kim Jong-un checked on the behavior of senior party, government and military leaders during the mourning period early this year. Kim Chol was executed in January, in an apparent bid to force top military brass into submission.

The purges caught a dozen generals in the powerful military, including a deputy chief of the Army General Staff and the commanding officer of a frontline corps. All of them were accused of drinking liquor during the mourning period or being involved in sex scandals.

So far this year, 14 senior party, government, and military leaders, including army chief Ri Yong-ho and central bank governor Ri Kwang-gon, fell victim to the purges, Yoon said.

"It seems that the purges will continue for the time being, as Kim Jong-un is tightening his grip on power," Yoon said.

It remains to be seen whether the North eminence grise Jang Song-taek, Kim Jong-un's uncle, can hold on to his position, Yoon added. He warned there is increasing dissatisfaction among the elite, which could destabilize the regime 
 
2012-10-25 12:53:15 AM  
Those that have fallen from favour include Ri Yong-ho, the head of the army and Ri Kwang-gon, the governor of the North Korean central bank.

What'd he do, misplace their dollar?
 
2012-10-25 01:01:55 AM  
Nest Korea has Best Executions!!!

perhaps they could make a game show of it. Give a guy a 1000 yard run over open terain with maybe 4 mortor crews dropping on him. If he makes it -- freedom. If not, oh well.
 
2012-10-25 01:57:08 AM  
They aren't farking around at all with acceptance of this new guy.
 
2012-10-25 02:03:56 AM  

Lazarus_: They aren't farking around at all with acceptance of this new guy.


The FNG of RNK.
 
2012-10-25 02:07:33 AM  

Lazarus_: They aren't farking around at all with acceptance of this new guy.


Just think that this kind of shiat was pretty much the norm for all governments in the world until relatively recently.
I miss the good old days, when surviving new regimes was more of a challenge.
 
2012-10-25 02:07:47 AM  
Almost like being in a guillotine. Just like you could hear the sliding of the guillotine blade, with a mortar you could hear the launch of the round before it hit you. For a few seconds you would know it's on the way.

Ugh....
 
2012-10-25 02:07:50 AM  
What if you step off the 'X'?
 
2012-10-25 02:08:28 AM  
The X makes it cooler.
 
2012-10-25 02:09:46 AM  
OUT-FARKING-STANDING!

Well, outstanding until the mortar hits.
 
2012-10-25 02:10:52 AM  

yukichigai: If I was going to pick a way to be executed, that would be near the top of my list. Assuming things like "dying from sexual exhaustion induced by a platoon of oiled up centerfolds" were off the table, that is.

/Or "being smothered by Christina Hendricks' curvy bits"


If I am ever executed I want the executioner to be gorgeous. I do not care if it is a woman or man, they just have to be gorgeous. For some reason being killed by an ugly person would just be kind of sad.
 
2012-10-25 02:16:12 AM  
Cool, maybe he will smite everyone in NK government, then the peasants can eat Jong-un.
 
2012-10-25 02:17:17 AM  
There is a possibility this is made up, after all, it is the internet. However, I have no problem believing this is true. Dictatorships (especially the ones that use a Socialistic economic system) are run by animals.
 
2012-10-25 02:18:29 AM  
Do I get a complimentary little umbrella?

t1.gstatic.com

Or how about

t1.gstatic.com
 
2012-10-25 02:19:06 AM  
I wonder if it was like Wile E. Coyote, where after the mortar round detonated he was standing there with frizzy hair and smudge marks all over his face.
 
2012-10-25 02:20:00 AM  
And I am really disappointed nobody has put up the execution scene from the "Meaning of Life."

It was inferred, but dammit, not shown!
 
2012-10-25 02:20:25 AM  
Genju:

Dang, beat me to it.
 
2012-10-25 02:23:58 AM  
Sheesh! He's one doughy millennial dude. I think you could take him, NK army dudes!
 
2012-10-25 02:27:36 AM  
technabob.com
 
2012-10-25 02:30:36 AM  
"A North Korean army minister was executed with a mortar round for reportedly drinking and carousing during the official mourning period after Kim Jong-il's death."

Do you know how I know they're not Irish?
 
2012-10-25 02:32:42 AM  

TommyymmoT: Do you know how I know they're not Irish?


Whatever that clapping.gif is.

clapping.gif
 
2012-10-25 02:35:22 AM  
North Korea style...or Gangnam style?
 
2012-10-25 02:36:46 AM  

TommyymmoT: "A North Korean army minister was executed with a mortar round for reportedly drinking and carousing during the official mourning period after Kim Jong-il's death."

Do you know how I know they're not Irish?


Slightly taller and fewer of them have unnatural hair colors?

//Snerk
 
2012-10-25 02:37:27 AM  
i.ytimg.com
INCOMING!!!!!
 
2012-10-25 02:38:40 AM  
A cot?

www.parentingclan.com
Actual Texas prisoner awaiting execution.
 
2012-10-25 02:39:33 AM  

Brick-House: perhaps they could make a game show of it. Give a guy a 1000 yard run over open terain with maybe 4 mortor crews dropping on him. If he makes it -- freedom. If not, oh well.


Only if you speed up the playback to 1.3x and play yakety sax in the background.
 
2012-10-25 02:40:02 AM  
A picture of a double execution?
resources3.news.com.au
//hey sexy lady
 
2012-10-25 02:54:45 AM  
That's a hard call.
Years ago, I would have been down with the mortar.

But the way Texas does it, you already know for weeks in advance it's going to happen, and you go through the (5?) stages, and finally deal with it.

During the last 48 hours or so, they give you Valiums or something similar like it was candy, so it's pretty hard to get flustered, or really care about much of anything.
They don't want you crying, or going into hysterics, because it would make them feel bad.

When the time comes, the prisoner is pretty placid.
There's very little of that Jimmy Cagney "I DON'T WANT TO DIE! PLEASE PLEASE I DON'T WANT TO DIE!"

Then, the first injection they give you, is similar to medical anesthesia, so it's not much different than if you were going to have your gall bladder out, or even have a colonoscopy, main difference being, you don't wake up.
 
2012-10-25 02:57:22 AM  

Red Shirt Blues: [i.ytimg.com image 480x360]
INCOMING!!!!!


first thing i thought of
 
2012-10-25 02:58:35 AM  

cedarpark: A picture of a double execution?
[resources3.news.com.au image 650x366]
//hey sexy lady


Maybe.
But hey, they went out Gangnam Style!
 
2012-10-25 03:00:31 AM  

Brick-House: perhaps they could make a game show of it. Give a guy a 1000 yard run over open terain...


www.damnthatsracist.com
 
2012-10-25 03:05:13 AM  
i.imgur.com
 
2012-10-25 03:07:20 AM  
Either way would be preferable to being eaten by the fat retarded mushroom.
 
2012-10-25 03:13:34 AM  

kmoser: North Korea style...or Gangnam style?


I've always had a personal preference for Gangnam style myself.

/Jersey girl
//No apologies
///Just deal with it, K? ;)
 
2012-10-25 03:14:24 AM  
Sounds like Kim Jong Un is basically like and older, fatter Joffrey Baratheon.

/I shudder to think what his mother/aunt looks like.
 
2012-10-25 03:21:48 AM  
i0.kym-cdn.com
 
2012-10-25 03:32:22 AM  

TommyymmoT: "A North Korean army minister was executed with a mortar round for reportedly drinking and carousing during the official mourning period after Kim Jong-il's death."

Do you know how I know they're not Irish?


Bigger dicks?
 
2012-10-25 03:36:57 AM  
Wow, what a chubby little pussy. I wonder how long before somebody lops off that fat lumpy water head of his.
 
2012-10-25 03:41:57 AM  
Taliban did it - google liveleak.com Taliban uses RPG to execute one man, not linking as its too graphic and if you want to see it you need to google-fu

NSF-anything
 
2012-10-25 03:43:34 AM  
The problem with motivating people this way is that sooner or later one of them is going to get paranoid (more than usual) and move the X to the top of Un's outhouse. I just hope we get some good video of it.
 
2012-10-25 03:50:39 AM  

Bullroarer_Took: TommyymmoT: "A North Korean army minister was executed with a mortar round for reportedly drinking and carousing during the official mourning period after Kim Jong-il's death."

Do you know how I know they're not Irish?

Bigger dicks?


Dunno about the North, but South Korean men drink like alcohol was going extinct. When walking the streets of Seoul in the early morning, it is not unusual to have to dodge puddles of upchuck, aka "soju blossoms," and if you go out on the town with Korean associates, you can 100% guarantee the evening will end in drinking games and the Koreans egging you and each other to do shots of soju. Plus they like to sing sad, sentimental songs when they're hammered and they'll fight at the drop of a hat, so yeah, they're kinda Irish.

The trouble with understanding North Korean politics is that there's not enough solid information to tell exactly what's going on. A purge was inevitable, but it's hard to say if Kim Jong-Un is in charge or if his powerful older relatives are solidifying their own positions.
 
2012-10-25 04:15:28 AM  
Gobang Style!
 
2012-10-25 04:35:55 AM  
See, they could feed their people, rebuild their infrastructure and straighten those eyes out if they just made this pay-per-view.
 
2012-10-25 04:39:59 AM  

AndyChrist_AUS: Taliban did it - google liveleak.com Taliban uses RPG to execute one man, not linking as its too graphic and if you want to see it you need to google-fu

NSF-anything


Ugh, I saw one where they put a grenade in like the shirt pocket of a prisoner, and pulled the pin.
 
2012-10-25 04:47:26 AM  

Oznog: AndyChrist_AUS: Taliban did it - google liveleak.com Taliban uses RPG to execute one man, not linking as its too graphic and if you want to see it you need to google-fu

NSF-anything

Ugh, I saw one where they put a grenade in like the shirt pocket of a prisoner, and pulled the pin.


In "like" the shirt pocket, but not actually in the shirt pocket?
 
2012-10-25 04:48:43 AM  
1.bp.blogspot.com
Not impressed
 
2012-10-25 04:55:00 AM  
I loath little biatches like this korean dude. His ass should be snuffed asap. He probably would do ok for himself in texas, if he could some how hide the whole asian thing.
 
2012-10-25 04:57:48 AM  

Brick-House: Nest Korea has Best Executions!!!

perhaps they could make a game show of it. Give a guy a 1000 yard run over open terain with maybe 4 mortor crews dropping on him. If he makes it -- freedom. If not, oh well.



That was one of the more memorable scenes in Apocalypto. Except substitute mortar with javelins!
 
2012-10-25 05:00:34 AM  
Of course, one cannot do it 'Gangnam Style' in Washington State - RCW 16.52.205

/Stay out of Enumclaw as well!
 
2012-10-25 05:29:46 AM  
hey - if carousing is a crime, i don't even want to be free
 
2012-10-25 05:33:18 AM  

0Icky0: Lazarus_: They aren't farking around at all with acceptance of this new guy.

Just think that this kind of shiat was pretty much the norm for all governments in the world until relatively recently.
I miss the good old days, when surviving new regimes was more of a challenge.


www.capitolhillblue.com
"you shut your damn mouth"
 
2012-10-25 05:39:37 AM  

Oznog: AndyChrist_AUS: Taliban did it - google liveleak.com Taliban uses RPG to execute one man, not linking as its too graphic and if you want to see it you need to google-fu

NSF-anything

Ugh, I saw one where they put a grenade in like the shirt pocket of a prisoner, and pulled the pin.


wow. you typed out the word like there.
 
2012-10-25 05:59:53 AM  

Oznog: AndyChrist_AUS: Taliban did it - google liveleak.com Taliban uses RPG to execute one man, not linking as its too graphic and if you want to see it you need to google-fu

NSF-anything

Ugh, I saw one where they put a grenade in like the shirt pocket of a prisoner, and pulled the pin.


That sounds totes cray-cray.
 
2012-10-25 06:25:39 AM  

Mock26: If I am ever executed I want the executioner to be gorgeous. I do not care if it is a woman or man, they just have to be gorgeous. For some reason being killed by an ugly person would just be kind of sad.


How about death by lion?

i112.photobucket.com
 
2012-10-25 07:11:32 AM  
That's awesome!
 
2012-10-25 07:26:37 AM  

LewDux: [1.bp.blogspot.com image 400x280]
Not impressed


India circa 1857, IIRC. The British Army put down a revolt of local militias they had been allied with. The locals were upset about new British rifles cartridges that were greased with animal fat. The problem being you had to bite the end of the cartridge to release the poweder and shot, but the locals believed the fat was from cows and swines. So you had those that believe cows are sacred and not to be eaten and those that believe that swines are filthy and not to be eaten.
The British solution was to crush the rebellion and put the leaders in front of a firing squad. Literally, strapped them to cannons and fired shot through them. I can't imagine the mess.

/might be off a bit, but I bet I'm damn close.
 
2012-10-25 07:30:56 AM  
Execution by mortar. Sounds like a cool way to go.

But if I had a choice how I wanted to go, it would be this:
suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com 

/Battle Angle Alita
 
2012-10-25 07:34:40 AM  

chuggernaught: /might be off a bit, but I bet I'm damn close.


Well, you did miss the part where the Sepoys decided to show their displeasure with the greased rifle rounds by hacking every English man, woman, and child they could find into bits. After finding mutilated corpses of friends and family -- and desperately outnumbered if their remaining allied armies turned on them -- they decided the best response to massacres and outrage was really really excessive massacres and outrage.
 
2012-10-25 07:39:57 AM  
I can't decide if this is good or bad. One he is purging folks, just like his dad (bad). But he is also getting rid the old guard so maybe they may actually make things better for the common people (good).
 
2012-10-25 07:49:28 AM  

cedarpark: A picture of a double execution?
[resources3.news.com.au image 650x366]
//hey sexy lady


Ex, ex ex ex, execution style
 
2012-10-25 08:12:39 AM  
As reported by the absolutely-not-at-all-biased South Korean press......
 
2012-10-25 08:13:12 AM  
I have to admit, that sounds like an awesome way to execute someone. Less so a way to be executed.
 
2012-10-25 08:14:03 AM  
This is how a REAL man dies.
 
2012-10-25 08:15:22 AM  
I'd yell, OK God! Let me have it!

i406.photobucket.com
 
2012-10-25 08:18:36 AM  
If true, that's an usually humane way to kill a "traitor" of a dictatorship.
He's definitely new to the job.
 
2012-10-25 08:20:18 AM  
A North Korean army minister was executed with a mortar round for reportedly drinking and carousing during the official mourning period after Kim Jong-il's death.

/Man, you gotta love the Communists. Killed for having a drink. You have to give them style points though, did they run out of bullets?
 
2012-10-25 08:26:14 AM  

cedarpark: A picture of a double execution?
[resources3.news.com.au image 650x366]
//hey sexy lady


i.imgur.com
 
2012-10-25 08:28:52 AM  
My first thought wasn't to hit him like this, but that they inserted it rectally then discharged it.

/That would probably be worse.
 
2012-10-25 08:51:28 AM  
Should have asked for cake.
 
2012-10-25 09:01:08 AM  
Is it wrong that I giggled at the headline?

It's just so.... loony tunes!
 
2012-10-25 09:15:13 AM  
If I'm ever executed, I would like to be launched out of a cannon and be intercepted by a Scud missile.
 
2012-10-25 09:18:08 AM  
At least they zeroed it in first.
Otherwise it might have gotten messy.

/Hate to walk up afterwards just to find the guy less than dead.
 
2012-10-25 09:18:26 AM  

NuttierThanEver: I'd actually prefer the mortar, it's a hell of alot more macho


Typically a lot faster and less painful too. There a reason we don't use the chemicals from lethal injections to put down animals. Causes way too much pain. Luckily we paralyze the prisoner first so the family doesn't see much of anything.
 
2012-10-25 09:20:55 AM  
Execution Texas styletypical Saturday Night: lay on a cot while being injected with drugs. Execution North Korea style: stand on the X while we launch a mortar at you
 
2012-10-25 09:36:44 AM  

NuttierThanEver: I'd actually prefer the mortar, it's a hell of alot more macho


I guess that would make you a "Mortar Farker".
 
2012-10-25 10:09:07 AM  
Pics or I don't believe you,
 
2012-10-25 10:15:33 AM  
Kind of disappointing and low budget, comparatively.

i231.photobucket.com
 
2012-10-25 10:26:10 AM  
media.tumblr.com
 
2012-10-25 10:50:40 AM  
It is now a kinder, more gentle country.
 
2012-10-25 10:56:47 AM  
"We're thorough."
ckptitan.webs.com

/Obscure?
//Never doing GISs for characters from this series with Safe Search off ever again.
///What has been seen cannot be unseen.
////Motherfarkers raped my childhood.
 
2012-10-25 12:21:54 PM  
 
2012-10-25 12:23:12 PM  
If North Koreans are so tough you have to use mortars to execute them I fear for our boys on the line in South Korea
 
2012-10-25 12:46:40 PM  
North Korea -- beautiful and compelling, just like a dumpster fire.
 
2012-10-25 12:57:15 PM  
Don't they have any piranha tanks?
 
2012-10-25 01:04:07 PM  

mjjt: Don't they have any piranha tanks?


Unfortunately Kim Jong-un ate them.
 
2012-10-25 01:10:12 PM  
You know who else executed his top generals?
 
2012-10-25 01:34:00 PM  
On the orders of Kim Jong-un to leave "no trace of him behind, down to his hair," according to South Korean media, Kim Chol was forced to stand on a spot that had been zeroed in for a mortar round and "obliterated."

That sounds painful.
 
2012-10-25 02:10:47 PM  

Clemkadidlefark: If North Koreans are so tough you have to use mortars to execute them I fear for our boys on the line in South Korea


Meh. Some of us actually own working mortars.
 
2012-10-25 03:52:39 PM  
he survived

i50.tinypic.com
 
2012-10-25 05:25:57 PM  
mjjt: Don't they have any piranha tanks?

I told you we should have waited till AFTER this to replace his blood with acid. The Sharks won't touch him now.
 
2012-10-25 08:29:40 PM  

AndyChrist_AUS: Taliban did it - google liveleak.com Taliban uses RPG to execute one man, not linking as its too graphic and if you want to see it you need to google-fu

NSF-anything


Allah suck-dick!
 
2012-10-25 08:31:33 PM  

mjjt: he survived

[i50.tinypic.com image 475x356]


Who is he?
 
2012-10-25 09:21:48 PM  
according to South Korean media,

- Making shiat up since 1948 (and everyone believing it)
 
2012-10-26 10:09:19 AM  
Damn... Texas loses some Bad-ass points here.

But if we matched "Best" Korea with this, we'd gain Dumb-ass points... and we're already full-up on those.
 
2012-10-26 12:52:06 PM  

volodya: according to South Korean media,

- Making shiat up since 1948 (and everyone believing it)


cdn.fd.uproxx.com
 
2012-10-28 10:58:29 AM  

chuckufarlie: It is now a kinder, more gentle country.


Works for me :)
 
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