If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Geekosystem)   Physicists invent working tractor beam, world becomes instantly more awesome   (geekosystem.com) divider line 66
    More: Cool, creationisms, scientific publications  
•       •       •

19611 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Oct 2012 at 12:16 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



66 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-10-24 11:34:13 AM  
instantly more attractive, surely
 
2012-10-24 11:41:45 AM  
www.ruralintelligence.com

It's already been done before. Move along here, nothing to see.
 
2012-10-24 12:05:51 PM  
What I want to know is when will transporters be perfected (and, its brother technology, the food replicator)?
 
2012-10-24 12:17:52 PM  
That's no square moon...
 
2012-10-24 12:19:17 PM  
If they make one big enough to move humans, I'm buying one and using it to fling reality TV stars into space. Along with the network brass who keeps churning out reality shows.
 
2012-10-24 12:19:28 PM  
Who needs a transporter when you have a good hyperdrive? I am waiting for the propulsion technology necessary to make the Kessel run.
 
2012-10-24 12:23:52 PM  

eraser8: What I want to know is when will transporters be perfected (and, its brother technology, the food replicator)?


I want a Holodeck
 
2012-10-24 12:24:41 PM  
img2.timeinc.net
 
2012-10-24 12:27:55 PM  
"Scaling up the current design would mean using a ton of energy, and probably destroying whatever objects you were attempting to manipulate with the beam."
They just have to plug it into the sun.
 
2012-10-24 12:27:58 PM  
The researchers' work may not be right for tractor beams of the future, which will be used to assemble our space stations and hold extraterrestrial ships in place so we can board and raid them.

Or instead of pushing big heavy metal objects into space with expensive chemical rockets, we might be able to pull them into space from an orbiting space station. If this discovery can actually be scaled up, we may be able to create a space elevator and cheaply get big expensive objects like humans into space.
 
2012-10-24 12:28:15 PM  
After working with single Bessel beams to try and perfect a tractor beam and failing, New York University physicists David Ruffner and David Grier assembled a device that overlaps two Bessel beams.

www.webdemons.com

Don't cross the beams!
 
2012-10-24 12:30:02 PM  
www.wearysloth.com

Ha! This guy knows tractor beams have existed for years!
 
2012-10-24 12:32:55 PM  
i20.photobucket.com
 
2012-10-24 12:39:17 PM  
Cool? Really? Do you honestly think those in control are going to put this to good use? This is the kind of shiat we really don't need.
 
2012-10-24 12:40:38 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2012-10-24 12:40:43 PM  

eraser8: What I want to know is when will transporters be perfected (and, its brother technology, the food replicator)?


Food replication as in turning electricity into food? Not for a while. Food replication as in taking a bunch of atoms of carbon, hydrogen, oxygen and nitrogen and make simple sugars? We can do that now, but nobody is going to buy sugar at the price of a thousand dollars an ounce.
 
2012-10-24 12:42:20 PM  
Hopefully I will see a working Zero Point Energy Field Manipulator in my life. Then I can retire to Ravenholm
 
2012-10-24 12:44:21 PM  
So could they be reversed into repulsor beams?


HOVERBOARD HERE WE COME!
 
2012-10-24 12:46:15 PM  

Dilvias: eraser8: What I want to know is when will transporters be perfected (and, its brother technology, the food replicator)?

Food replication as in turning electricity into food? Not for a while. Food replication as in taking a bunch of atoms of carbon, hydrogen, oxygen and nitrogen and make simple sugars? We can do that now, but nobody is going to buy sugar at the price of a thousand dollars an ounce.


Is that so? Make it so!
 
2012-10-24 12:48:41 PM  

TwowheelinTim: Cool? Really? Do you honestly think those in control are going to put this to good use? This is the kind of shiat we really don't need.


Who are "those in control"? And if They are not going to put it to "good use" please tell me what evil use They will put it to. So I can take precautions.
 
2012-10-24 12:50:06 PM  
Unstall tractor beams in the floor and you get artificial gravity.

/Reverse the polarity of the neutrons in the tractor beam device and you get technobabble.
 
2012-10-24 12:52:19 PM  
Ahead of schedule.

images1.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2012-10-24 12:52:34 PM  
A tractor beam was used in the Pascagoula Abduction
 
2012-10-24 12:53:08 PM  
Obligatory:
Link

Though this one is better:
Link

NSFW language on both
 
2012-10-24 12:55:21 PM  
Is it a Star Trek Tech Trifecta day?
 
2012-10-24 01:04:09 PM  

AugieDoggyDaddy: TwowheelinTim: Cool? Really? Do you honestly think those in control are going to put this to good use? This is the kind of shiat we really don't need.

Who are "those in control"? And if They are not going to put it to "good use" please tell me what evil use They will put it to. So I can take precautions.


I believe it's the Trilateral Commission. And the rest is hush hush if you know what I mean.
 
2012-10-24 01:12:09 PM  
Do the needful: I believe it's the Trilateral Commission. And the rest is hush hush if you know what I mean.




That's what the Reverse Vampires, Lizard people, illuminati, and the Masons want you to beleive...
 
2012-10-24 01:12:39 PM  

Oakenshield: Ahead of schedule.


Exactly what I thought. Why get excited when we're obviously going to lose this breakthrough during the Great War. We'll be back to magnetic grapples in no time.
 
2012-10-24 01:15:04 PM  
While at the same time subby get's less awesome for just stealing the headline from the article.

/I remember when Fark headlines used to mean something.
 
2012-10-24 01:16:28 PM  
destroying whatever objects you were attempting to manipulate with the beam

Details, details.
 
2012-10-24 01:16:57 PM  

eraser8: What I want to know is when will transporters be perfected (and, its brother technology, the food replicator)?


Never. The energy and computing power needed are too great.
 
2012-10-24 01:20:28 PM  
I won't be happy until plasma/magnetic force fields are widely available.
 
2012-10-24 01:20:46 PM  
Let's see if this article passes the "Silverfield" test for awesome science reporting.

1. Insanely optimistic blue-sky headline promising science-fictional results. CHECK
2. Poorly organized paragraphs providing miniscule amounts of actual information inside rambling extrapolations of possible utopian uses for this new science. CHECK
3. Final paragraph explaining how limited, infrequent and specialized the observed effect really is, and the low probability of its "commercial" or outside-the-lab usage. CHECK

Thanks, FARK! Another six minutes' worth of escapism from my drudgey life of worldwide computer networking and filesharing, pocket-sized mobile communications, instantly microwave-heated nutritious food from around the globe, and wrinkle-, stain- and rip-resistant clothing.

GOD when will the future arrive already?
 
2012-10-24 01:29:13 PM  

gbv23: A tractor beam was used in the Pascagoula Abduction


Wow, a whole lot of crazy in that link.
 
2012-10-24 01:30:03 PM  

bill4935: Let's see if this article passes the "Silverfield" test for awesome science reporting.

1. Insanely optimistic blue-sky headline promising science-fictional results. CHECK
2. Poorly organized paragraphs providing miniscule amounts of actual information inside rambling extrapolations of possible utopian uses for this new science. CHECK
3. Final paragraph explaining how limited, infrequent and specialized the observed effect really is, and the low probability of its "commercial" or outside-the-lab usage. CHECK

Thanks, FARK! Another six minutes' worth of escapism from my drudgey life of worldwide computer networking and filesharing, pocket-sized mobile communications, instantly microwave-heated nutritious food from around the globe, and wrinkle-, stain- and rip-resistant clothing.

GOD when will the future arrive already?


Lighten up, Francis.
 
2012-10-24 01:31:30 PM  

Girion47: So could they be reversed into repulsor beams?


hackedgadgets.com

Talk to the hand.
 
2012-10-24 01:35:01 PM  
So it's only good for light work? Har, har. Tip your waitress etc.

All seriousness aside, it would be very cool if this could be used to collect the debris floating around in Earth's orbit. Mostly thinking of the man-made stuff although it would be awesome if it could be used to push asteroids too.
 
2012-10-24 01:50:00 PM  
I just want to know when I can tractor a sammich from the fridge.

thecpt: Hopefully I will see a working Zero Point Energy Field Manipulator in my life. Then I can retire to Ravenholm


You can get that when I get my Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device. Not moving to Ravenholm though. Fark that place. I'm portaling my ass to Maui. Less headcrabs. (not sure as to how many crotch crabs there, though)
 
2012-10-24 02:57:58 PM  
A functioning tractor beam is also a kind of propulsion. When in orbit point it at the moon and turn it to eleventy for a portion of each orbit and you could change your apogee.

Yes?
 
2012-10-24 03:00:54 PM  

maniacbastard: A functioning tractor beam is also a kind of propulsion. When in orbit point it at the moon and turn it to eleventy for a portion of each orbit and you could change your apogee.

Yes?


Eleventy? When the moon gets pushed out of its orbit and crashes into Earth, I'm pointing the finger right at YOU, buddy.
 
2012-10-24 03:01:35 PM  

dryknife: [img2.timeinc.net image 300x400]


who is that douche in the hat and why does that sessy lady stand next to him?
 
2012-10-24 03:24:25 PM  
Isn't this just basically optical tweezing, or am I missing something?
 
2012-10-24 03:30:37 PM  

eraser8: What I want to know is when will transporters be perfected (and, its brother technology, the food replicator)?


The idea of energy transmutation on demand which would give us the food replicator and, basically, free energy for everyone, would usher in something called the "post-scarcity society."

Google it -- it's fun to consider.
 
2012-10-24 03:44:07 PM  

Snargi: After working with single Bessel beams to try and perfect a tractor beam and failing, New York University physicists David Ruffner and David Grier assembled a device that overlaps two Bessel beams.


I give it two snaps and a rewind.
louperez.net
 
2012-10-24 03:58:46 PM  

Hawnkee: [i.imgur.com image 320x240]


"You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll kiss three bucks goodbye."

You get the votes.
farm8.staticflickr.com
 
2012-10-24 04:01:02 PM  

Son of Thunder: maniacbastard: A functioning tractor beam is also a kind of propulsion. When in orbit point it at the moon and turn it to eleventy for a portion of each orbit and you could change your apogee.

Yes?

Eleventy? When the moon gets pushed out of its orbit and crashes into Earth, I'm pointing the finger right at YOU, buddy.


If I've learned anything is that the moon won't crash into the earth it will be pushed into deep space, no my friend those poor souls on Moon Base Alpha will be doomed to roam the universe forever.

/obscure?
 
2012-10-24 04:01:35 PM  

Son of Thunder: maniacbastard: A functioning tractor beam is also a kind of propulsion. When in orbit point it at the moon and turn it to eleventy for a portion of each orbit and you could change your apogee.

Yes?

Eleventy? When the moon gets pushed out of its orbit and crashes into Earth, I'm pointing the finger right at YOU, buddy.


And not at Megatron?
 
2012-10-24 04:11:08 PM  

bill4935: Let's see if this article passes the "Silverfield" test for awesome science reporting.

1. Insanely optimistic blue-sky headline promising science-fictional results. CHECK
2. Poorly organized paragraphs providing miniscule amounts of actual information inside rambling extrapolations of possible utopian uses for this new science. CHECK
3. Final paragraph explaining how limited, infrequent and specialized the observed effect really is, and the low probability of its "commercial" or outside-the-lab usage. CHECK

Thanks, FARK! Another six minutes' worth of escapism from my drudgey life of worldwide computer networking and filesharing, pocket-sized mobile communications, instantly microwave-heated nutritious food from around the globe, and wrinkle-, stain- and rip-resistant clothing.

GOD when will the future arrive already?


Thank YOU for putting in the work so I didn't have to. I came here specifically looking for a post like this.
 
2012-10-24 04:38:39 PM  
So how long till I can have one of these installed on my easily mistaken for a moon battle station?
 
2012-10-24 04:52:17 PM  

Slaves2Darkness: Or instead of pushing big heavy metal objects into space with expensive chemical rockets, we might be able to pull them into space from an orbiting space station. If this discovery can actually be scaled up, we may be able to create a space elevator and cheaply get big expensive objects like humans into space.


Potential energy doesn't come free. You're still going to have to have something up in space providing thrust. Newton's third.
 
Displayed 50 of 66 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report