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(Yahoo)   You know that hot chick or hunky guy your spouse swears is "just a friend"? Science says they're a damn liar   (news.yahoo.com) divider line 137
    More: Interesting, cognitive sciences, romantic interest  
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9408 clicks; posted to Geek » on 24 Oct 2012 at 1:19 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-10-24 12:14:48 PM
Where's the control group?

Oh, wait. I forgot that this "study" was intended to produce a particular result: "men are horndogs."
 
2012-10-24 12:16:59 PM
www.liketotally80s.com

Duh
 
2012-10-24 12:31:02 PM
The lead researcher on the study: 
www.avidly.org
 
2012-10-24 12:43:40 PM

Saborlas: Where's the control group?

Oh, wait. I forgot that this "study" was intended to produce a particular result: "men are horndogs."


what would the control group be? this is a psychology study, not an experiment.
FTA:
"What makes these results particularly interesting is that they were found within particular friendships (remember, each participant was only asked about the specific, platonic, friend with whom they entered the lab). This is not just a bit of confirmation for stereotypes about sex-hungry males and naïve females; it is direct proof that two people can experience the exact same relationship in radically different ways."
 
2012-10-24 01:25:36 PM
I have female friends that I truly do appreciate on a friendly level. I would have sex with all of them without hesitation if the situation arose.

I don't feel like this means I'm not really their friend though, I don't hang out with them to get laid.
 
2012-10-24 01:34:06 PM
I'm not all in on this.

My best friend of 15 years is a female, and we've never, ever been interested in each other romantically. Sure, she criticized my girlfriends, and I criticized her boyfriends, but that's what friends do. She was in my wedding, and my wife and I hang out with her and her fiancee nearly every weekend.
 
2012-10-24 01:34:37 PM
Yeah well that is why that farking biatch slut is now my ex-wife.
 
2012-10-24 01:34:55 PM

HotWingConspiracy: I have female friends that I truly do appreciate on a friendly level. I would have sex with all of them without hesitation if the situation arose.

I don't feel like this means I'm not really their friend though, I don't hang out with them to get laid.


Do not seek the treasure
 
2012-10-24 01:35:38 PM
"But if we all thought like men, we'd probably be facing a serious overpopulation crisis."

IMO, we are already firmly on that path. Although, if we all thought like men, maybe there'd be more attrition through war and general violence. Guess it might just even out.
 
2012-10-24 01:37:01 PM

HotWingConspiracy: I have female friends that I truly do appreciate on a friendly level. I would have sex with all of them without hesitation if the situation arose.

I don't feel like this means I'm not really their friend though, I don't hang out with them to get laid.


This. If I like you enough to hang out all the time, of course I'd sleep with you. I'm also smart enough to recognize a one sided infatuation though. And I can take "no" for an answer easily enough, why even ask (more than once) if the answer is going to be no? No one enjoys rejection after all.
 
2012-10-24 01:37:20 PM
Well, there's their problem. They interviewed college students. How about asking someone older than 20? I used to care only about getting laid, too.
 
2012-10-24 01:37:36 PM

NashMcNash: I'm not all in on this.

My best friend of 15 years is a female, and we've never, ever been interested in each other romantically. Sure, she criticized my girlfriends, and I criticized her boyfriends, but that's what friends do. She was in my wedding, and my wife and I hang out with her and her fiancee nearly every weekend.


If she presented, would you mount?
 
2012-10-24 01:38:43 PM

NashMcNash: I'm not all in on this.

My best friend of 15 years is a female, and we've never, ever been interested in each other romantically. Sure, she criticized my girlfriends, and I criticized her boyfriends, but that's what friends do. She was in my wedding, and my wife and I hang out with her and her fiancee nearly every weekend.



Same here. One of my best friends is a woman. There was a little sexual tension when we first met, but it quickly evolved into a platonic relationship. She would be my wingman at the bar. I scored more tail having her around than if I'd spent my time chasing after her. Here we are, ten years later and my wife is going to be her Maid of Honor next September for her wedding.
 
2012-10-24 01:40:39 PM

drewogatory: HotWingConspiracy: I have female friends that I truly do appreciate on a friendly level. I would have sex with all of them without hesitation if the situation arose.

I don't feel like this means I'm not really their friend though, I don't hang out with them to get laid.

This. If I like you enough to hang out all the time, of course I'd sleep with you. I'm also smart enough to recognize a one sided infatuation though. And I can take "no" for an answer easily enough, why even ask (more than once) if the answer is going to be no? No one enjoys rejection after all.


I don't know about that. I'm friends with a couple hot women, but I'd never sleep with them, even though I enjoy their company plenty. It's sort of a different category for me.
 
2012-10-24 01:42:01 PM
You are now Zoned for 'Friend'.
 
2012-10-24 01:45:35 PM

WhippingBoy: NashMcNash: I'm not all in on this.

My best friend of 15 years is a female, and we've never, ever been interested in each other romantically. Sure, she criticized my girlfriends, and I criticized her boyfriends, but that's what friends do. She was in my wedding, and my wife and I hang out with her and her fiancee nearly every weekend.

If she presented, would you mount?


I honestly would not. Mrs. Nash keeps me a happy dude.
 
2012-10-24 01:48:35 PM

I May Be Crazy But...: drewogatory: HotWingConspiracy: I have female friends that I truly do appreciate on a friendly level. I would have sex with all of them without hesitation if the situation arose.

I don't feel like this means I'm not really their friend though, I don't hang out with them to get laid.

This. If I like you enough to hang out all the time, of course I'd sleep with you. I'm also smart enough to recognize a one sided infatuation though. And I can take "no" for an answer easily enough, why even ask (more than once) if the answer is going to be no? No one enjoys rejection after all.

I don't know about that. I'm friends with a couple hot women, but I'd never sleep with them, even though I enjoy their company plenty. It's sort of a different category for me.


Well, I don't have to be romantically interested (or even like very much, if I'm honest) in someone to sleep with them so that helps. Sex is fun, so I'm pretty much always down, I just don't think it needs to mean anything beyond a couple hours diversion.
 
2012-10-24 01:49:06 PM
Its the Ladder Theory,

www.laddertheory.com

Link
 
2012-10-24 01:58:49 PM

I May Be Crazy But...: drewogatory: HotWingConspiracy: I have female friends that I truly do appreciate on a friendly level. I would have sex with all of them without hesitation if the situation arose.

I don't feel like this means I'm not really their friend though, I don't hang out with them to get laid.

This. If I like you enough to hang out all the time, of course I'd sleep with you. I'm also smart enough to recognize a one sided infatuation though. And I can take "no" for an answer easily enough, why even ask (more than once) if the answer is going to be no? No one enjoys rejection after all.

I don't know about that. I'm friends with a couple hot women, but I'd never sleep with them, even though I enjoy their company plenty. It's sort of a different category for me.


It's so hard to neatly put these things in categories:

I had one female friend to whom I was so extremely close that I was more of less the "maid of honor" at her wedding (it was fair though because the groom's best man was a girl) but, at the same time I felt like her bubby "beat me to her" and by a matter of days (we'd been friends before, and both involved with other people and were just starting to act on other feelings when he showed up). We remain however very close firends even though the romantic thing never happened

Another one whose wedding I was in, I not onlymore or less forced her to date her now-husband, but she activelyhelped me to score hot chicks at burning man and made fresh waffles and whipped cream for any overnight guests I happened to bring home that week. She is literally just a friend, though one I would not only kill for, but help hide the body afterwards with.

I've even got an ex-stripper firend who I introduced to my wife while said friend was giving me a naked bearhug, but she is still only a friend, albiet one I have openly lech'ed at, but never truly lusted after
 
2012-10-24 02:00:39 PM
Two possible conclusions I take from this study, that the author of the article did not consider:

1) Men and women define "sexual attraction" differently;

2) For many men, sexual attraction is a desirable end in itself, whether or not it leads to sexual activity.
 
2012-10-24 02:01:07 PM
HotWingConspiracy: I have female friends that I truly do appreciate on a friendly level. I would have sex with all of them without hesitation if the situation arose.

I don't feel like this means I'm not really their friend though, I don't hang out with them to get laid.


THIS. If one of my female friends wanted to be friends with benefits I'd be all up ons, but I'm not friends with them because I think it will help me get laid.
 
2012-10-24 02:04:43 PM

coolcashiat77: Its the Ladder Theory,

[www.laddertheory.com image 244x310]

Link


Leaving satisfied. .
 
2012-10-24 02:09:38 PM

coolcashiat77: Its the Ladder Theory,

[www.laddertheory.com image 244x310]

Link


I LOVE THIS SITE.
the authors of that study need to read it.
 
2012-10-24 02:10:32 PM
To paraphrase Ronald Reagan:

If it moves, hit it. If it's still moving, hit it again. If it stops moving, buy it flowers.
 
2012-10-24 02:11:57 PM

coolcashiat77: Its the Ladder Theory,

[www.laddertheory.com image 244x310]

Link


Yeah if I had any interest in a dude, we wouldn't be "just friends." I would have told them I liked them. That happened once, he wasn't interested after I told him, end of story.
 
2012-10-24 02:16:36 PM

jim32rr: HotWingConspiracy: I have female friends that I truly do appreciate on a friendly level. I would have sex with all of them without hesitation if the situation arose.

I don't feel like this means I'm not really their friend though, I don't hang out with them to get laid.

Do not seek the treasure


We thought you was a toad.
 
2012-10-24 02:30:48 PM

drewogatory: Well, I don't have to be romantically interested (or even like very much, if I'm honest) in someone to sleep with them so that helps. Sex is fun, so I'm pretty much always down, I just don't think it needs to mean anything beyond a couple hours diversion.


I think that's part of it for me. I had a proper puritan upbringing, so I'm pretty much not okay with casual sex.
 
2012-10-24 02:33:42 PM

PrivateCaboose: coolcashiat77: Its the Ladder Theory,

[www.laddertheory.com image 244x310]

Link

Yeah if I had any interest in a dude, we wouldn't be "just friends." I would have told them I liked them. That happened once, he wasn't interested after I told him, end of story.


So...he was before you told him? What a jerkoff.
 
2012-10-24 02:40:08 PM
Harry: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally: Why not?
Harry: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry: No you don't.
Sally: Yes I do.
Harry: No you don't.
Sally: Yes I do.
Harry: You only think you do.
Sally: You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry: No, what I'm saying is they all WANT to have sex with you.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: How do you know?
Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.
Sally: What if THEY don't want to have sex with YOU?
Harry: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
 
2012-10-24 02:42:32 PM

MoronLessOff: PrivateCaboose: coolcashiat77: Its the Ladder Theory,

[www.laddertheory.com image 244x310]

Link

Yeah if I had any interest in a dude, we wouldn't be "just friends." I would have told them I liked them. That happened once, he wasn't interested after I told him, end of story.

So...he was before you told him? What a jerkoff.


He said it was my lack of attention to grammar that really turned him off.
 
kab
2012-10-24 02:44:55 PM
Men and women certainly can be friends, though the circumstances need to be correct.

For one thing, the percentage of commonalities that most friendships are built on tend to be pretty rare between men and women. This generally leads to a situation where if a guy and girl don't have some sort of chemistry on some level, there isn't really anything else going on either. So that's pretty much 1 strike against the situation.

Either party, or preferably both, being in other happy relationships does tend to change things a bit, because you're likely no longer actively looking for that role to be fulfilled.

There are also scenarios where a guy may wind up being friends / unattracted to a girl simply because he feels that she's completely out of his league, so that attraction just sort of.... doesn't happen, at least until she gives some sort of very obvious signal that she's into him.
 
2012-10-24 02:47:13 PM
Girlfriend is a busty, petite hotty but Ill be god damned if I can be around any girl whos attractive or she goes to insane jealous mode. She doesn't even have any friends that aren't fatties or look like theyve been beat up. Granted she doesn't get along with women much to begin with and has always liked hanging around dudes more but still.

Its so funny watching her actually getting along with a (the rare occasion she does find a girl that she can chat with)ugly chick just fine, but the second a pretty girl comes along and wants to chat about the SAME DAMN THINGS, she clams up and reverts to 3 word answers

//my girlfriend is awesome, she just has her quirks.

// I always laugh when I meet new friends and they ask me if my girl has any chicks she can hook them up with.

///upon further review, Im not sure how much this even has to do with the article.
 
2012-10-24 02:47:15 PM

PrivateCaboose: MoronLessOff: PrivateCaboose: coolcashiat77: Its the Ladder Theory,

[www.laddertheory.com image 244x310]

Link

Yeah if I had any interest in a dude, we wouldn't be "just friends." I would have told them I liked them. That happened once, he wasn't interested after I told him, end of story.

So...he was before you told him? What a jerkoff.

He said it was my lack of attention to grammar that really turned him off.


And then he said he couldn't go out because he had to wash his hair that night, right?
 
2012-10-24 02:47:41 PM
I didn't say I didn't WANT to do them...I'm human.
I just WON'T do them.


When it comes to friends and relationships...the complications and consequences are just not worth it.


/shiat, there are days that I "feel like" I'll hump any female that moves....
 
2012-10-24 02:49:48 PM
lots of liars in here.
 
kab
2012-10-24 02:50:48 PM
Also, the ladder theory is kind of bullshiat.
 
2012-10-24 02:53:14 PM

Shakes999: Girlfriend is a busty, petite hotty


Pics or it aint true.
 
2012-10-24 02:58:47 PM

HotWingConspiracy: I have female friends that I truly do appreciate on a friendly level. I would have sex with all of them without hesitation if the situation arose.

I don't feel like this means I'm not really their friend though, I don't hang out with them to get laid.


Yes you do. The fact that you would nail them given the chance precludes being true friends with them. There was a time in my life (before I was married) when I thought differently...but that has certainly changed. Unless you have some emotional, life bonding experience with a female, the only reason you are "friends" with her is you want to bang her or you are not attracted to her in any manner.

/I'm a professional
//well, usually...
 
2012-10-24 03:00:23 PM
Would a bisexual person then be incapable of any friendships at all?
 
2012-10-24 03:00:30 PM

jim32rr: HotWingConspiracy: I have female friends that I truly do appreciate on a friendly level. I would have sex with all of them without hesitation if the situation arose.

I don't feel like this means I'm not really their friend though, I don't hang out with them to get laid.

Do not seek the treasure


i thought you got turned into a toad!!!!
 
2012-10-24 03:01:34 PM
if I was single I would try to sleep with every woman I could
but I'm married, so I do what every other married guy does, think about it, jerk off about it and move on. Now maybe drunk me might go ahead and go a bit to far, but I'd probably bail out before we got in the sack
 
2012-10-24 03:02:52 PM

zarberg: Harry: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally: Why not?
Harry: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry: No you don't.
Sally: Yes I do.
Harry: No you don't.
Sally: Yes I do.
Harry: You only think you do.
Sally: You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry: No, what I'm saying is they all WANT to have sex with you.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: How do you know?
Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.
Sally: What if THEY don't want to have sex with YOU?
Harry: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.


Believe it or not this is pretty much the exact conversation I had with my wife on our first time out together. It wasn't even a date. I just figured for the first time in my life, I'm going to tell a girl i have zero interest in being friends.

It worked.

/csb
//I know its not, but it was an interesting life lesson
 
2012-10-24 03:04:09 PM
yeah, it weirds me out that the guy i'm dating is still friends with EVERY girl he's ever had sex with. he claims they were all friends with benefits. i have my doubts.
 
2012-10-24 03:04:38 PM

Shakes999: Girlfriend is a busty, petite hotty but Ill be god damned if I can be around any girl whos attractive or she goes to insane jealous mode. She doesn't even have any friends that aren't fatties or look like theyve been beat up. Granted she doesn't get along with women much to begin with and has always liked hanging around dudes more but still.

Its so funny watching her actually getting along with a (the rare occasion she does find a girl that she can chat with)ugly chick just fine, but the second a pretty girl comes along and wants to chat about the SAME DAMN THINGS, she clams up and reverts to 3 word answers

//my girlfriend is awesome, she just has her quirks.

// I always laugh when I meet new friends and they ask me if my girl has any chicks she can hook them up with.

///upon further review, Im not sure how much this even has to do with the article.


It's Fark - you just felt the need to announce to the Internet that you have a hot girlfriend. I'm sure she lives in Canada.
 
2012-10-24 03:06:28 PM

zarberg: Shakes999: Girlfriend is a busty, petite hotty

Pics or it aint true.


*Chuckle* If it weren't for the fact she would be found on facebook within 10 minutes of posting said picture, I absolutely would but I think just broke her brand new tablet, i dont need her mad at me for releasing her photo in to the fark wilderness also.
 
2012-10-24 03:06:50 PM
depends on how you define friend.
 
2012-10-24 03:07:08 PM
I have a woman who is a friend, and I totally have no romantic interest whatsoever.

however, I would knock the bottom out of it given a chance. no hesitation.
 
2012-10-24 03:08:00 PM
So is this the thread where we proclaim to have hot small waisted, big breasted female friends wherein we advertise our monk-like qualities therefore we dont want to bone them and our wives are open minded to this fact to the point where every time said friend comes over she just has to be naked and no one not only doesnt bat an eye but we dont even pop a boner because we're such great friends?
 
2012-10-24 03:08:11 PM
Is this another one of those studies funded by the N.S. Sherlock Group?
 
2012-10-24 03:09:30 PM
My roomate is pretty hot and we have never show a romantic intrest. I think she likes me as a friend because Ive never dicked her over. Besides why hook up with her when I can hook up with her hot friends. She gets mad at that at times. But it was ok for her to hook up with my buddy. Stupid women double standards.
 
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