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(Salon)   Your homemade porn is safe. No one will ever know what happened behind closed doors with you, a woman, and a goat, Farkers   (salon.com) divider line 61
    More: Followup, amateur porn  
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10099 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Oct 2012 at 1:25 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



61 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-10-24 01:27:37 PM  
Gooooooood
 
2012-10-24 01:30:19 PM  
Thank God!
 
2012-10-24 01:31:30 PM  
What a great article.
Now all studies can be debunked by using the indefensible "No, it doesn't"
 
GBB
2012-10-24 01:31:41 PM  
What?? Journalists don't understand complex computing concepts??
 
2012-10-24 01:32:33 PM  
clearly it's just a ploy to get more 18-22 year old girls to let their boyfriends awkwardly fark them for 4 minutes then "lose" their iphone. Much to the benefit of the rest of us.
 
2012-10-24 01:33:41 PM  
Bring on the links!
 
2012-10-24 01:34:05 PM  
unless your computer needs to be repaired.
 
2012-10-24 01:34:07 PM  
I've done extensive studies on amateur porn and I can say with authority that most is uploaded on purpose by the original creators.
 
2012-10-24 01:35:13 PM  

doubled99: What a great article.
Now all studies can be debunked by using the indefensible "No, it doesn't"


No they can't
 
2012-10-24 01:35:30 PM  

lewismarktwo: I've done extensive studies on amateur porn and I can say with authority that most is uploaded on purpose by the original creators.


I demand you provide citations and sources for your research.

Please?
 
2012-10-24 01:35:35 PM  
Just like it is safe when I guy asks his girlfriend to send a topless pic of herself and he promises to never ever show anyone else. Yeah about that safe.
 
2012-10-24 01:35:53 PM  
so if I upload a copy of it to swapsmut.com and label definitely not kvinesknows sex tape its all good?
 
2012-10-24 01:39:08 PM  
Your homemade porn is safe. No one will ever know what happened behind closed doors with you, a woman, and a goat, Farkers

www.dvdactive.com
 
2012-10-24 01:39:23 PM  
What would farkers be doing in the room? Don't we usually get into insane situations out in public?
 
2012-10-24 01:39:42 PM  
This is why Mrs. Fister and I record our porn in analog.
 
2012-10-24 01:41:02 PM  

HairBolus: unless your computer needs to be repaired.


Or you're even remotely smart and keep it on a portable hard drive. I know where all my render files are. I know where all my Final Cut Pro project saves are at, and I know how to wipe any and all remnants completely off my machine. I giggled when I read that article the other day about how stupid people can be.

Then again, I don't shoot my home porn with a crappy camera phone, it's usually done on my Canon 7D or more recently, my C300. 4k home porn is epic, btw...
 
2012-10-24 01:41:54 PM  
That's the only thing I consider when voting:
"Will my porn be safe?"

As you can imagine, I'm backing Obama this year.
 
2012-10-24 01:43:12 PM  

Fark Rye For Many Whores: Your homemade porn is safe. No one will ever know what happened behind closed doors with you, a woman, and a goat, Farkers

[www.dvdactive.com image 850x478]


Pan's Labyrinth pr0n would be the most awesome and disturbing thing anyone could ever fap to; your mind would short into white noise as soon as you came. So far there are only very weak attempts to rule 34 it, according to teh Googles... let's get to it, Farkers.
 
2012-10-24 01:44:27 PM  
The problem with amateur porn isn't the amateur actors, it's the amateur production values. It all looks like it was shot in the dark with a palsied cameraman on a cell phone.

What we need is amateur production people that know what the fark they're doing.
 
2012-10-24 01:48:10 PM  

Rent Party: The problem with amateur porn isn't the amateur actors, it's the amateur production values. It all looks like it was shot in the dark with a palsied cameraman on a cell phone.

What we need is amateur production people that know what the fark they're doing.


A real-life "Zack and Miri Make *Your* Porno"?
 
2012-10-24 01:48:50 PM  
"and a goat..."

peck?
 
2012-10-24 01:53:23 PM  

foxyshadis: Fark Rye For Many Whores: Your homemade porn is safe. No one will ever know what happened behind closed doors with you, a woman, and a goat, Farkers

[www.dvdactive.com image 850x478]

Pan's Labyrinth pr0n would be the most awesome and disturbing thing anyone could ever fap to; your mind would short into white noise as soon as you came. So far there are only very weak attempts to rule 34 it, according to teh Googles... let's get to it, Farkers.


Pan's Labyrinth is basically anti-porn. I rented it one day and watched it with the wife- no chance of getting any at all that evening.

/Coraline was another mood killer
//Thought they were both great anyway
 
2012-10-24 01:53:27 PM  
I'll have you know the woman had nothing to do with it.
 
2012-10-24 01:54:24 PM  

SandMann: Your Mom is breathing a sigh of relief.


Whole site called submityourmom.com
 
2012-10-24 02:06:37 PM  
www.klatsch-tratsch.de

I've heard that one before...
 
2012-10-24 02:06:41 PM  

Gaseous Anomaly: Rent Party: The problem with amateur porn isn't the amateur actors, it's the amateur production values. It all looks like it was shot in the dark with a palsied cameraman on a cell phone.

What we need is amateur production people that know what the fark they're doing.

A real-life "Zack and Miri Make *Your* Porno"?


If I get to fark Elizabeth Banks, I don't care who makes it.
 
2012-10-24 02:06:56 PM  

Rent Party: The problem with amateur porn isn't the amateur actors, it's the amateur production values. It all looks like it was shot in the dark with a palsied cameraman on a cell phone.

What we need is amateur production people that know what the fark they're doing.


This is why The Big Book Of Porn exists. Google it. Enjoy the old meme promo rap video, too.
 
2012-10-24 02:07:34 PM  
images.fandango.com

I propose moving all homemade porn to one secure location.
 
2012-10-24 02:09:59 PM  
Farkers the exception to rule 34
 
2012-10-24 02:31:45 PM  

kvinesknows: so if I upload a copy of it to swapsmut.com and label definitely not kvinesknows sex tape its all good?


All homemade pics and videos should be sent to my EIP so it can then be transferred to an external hard drive for safe keeping.
 
2012-10-24 02:34:25 PM  

MoronLessOff: kvinesknows: so if I upload a copy of it to swapsmut.com and label definitely not kvinesknows sex tape its all good?

All homemade pics and videos should be sent to my EIP so it can then be transferred to an external hard drive for safe keeping.


seems legit, hope you know you are getting WIE
 
2012-10-24 02:39:29 PM  
It may be safe, but it's NOT SAFE FOR WORK!
 
2012-10-24 02:43:39 PM  

kvinesknows: MoronLessOff: kvinesknows: so if I upload a copy of it to swapsmut.com and label definitely not kvinesknows sex tape its all good?

All homemade pics and videos should be sent to my EIP so it can then be transferred to an external hard drive for safe keeping.

seems legit, hope you know you are getting WIE


lulz.
 
2012-10-24 02:43:44 PM  
But...that was the reason I was filming it.
 
2012-10-24 02:43:45 PM  
Yeah, big difference between "88% of your homemade porn will get out online" and "88% of porn already uploaded somewhere online will make it to other sites".

FilmBELOH20: HairBolus: unless your computer needs to be repaired.

Or you're even remotely smart and keep it on a portable hard drive. I know where all my render files are. I know where all my Final Cut Pro project saves are at, and I know how to wipe any and all remnants completely off my machine. I giggled when I read that article the other day about how stupid people can be.

Then again, I don't shoot my home porn with a crappy camera phone, it's usually done on my Canon 7D or more recently, my C300. 4k home porn is epic, btw...


Seconded.

Mine's all with my 7D, stills and not video, saved on a separate drive and in a different Lightroom catalog than my other photos, and we only really take pictures during fun scenes to record the ties or predicament or something. I export to a reasonable filesize, dump on a flash drive which I hand to my partner when I see her next, and she then has copies on an external drive that she keeps safe as well. And the whole "computer repair" thing - I build my own computers, would never send out a hard drive, and it being all in a truecrypt partition sorta negates that security hole.

I'll admit, sometimes I'll upload a small version of a specific picture or two to my private server in a directory without listing enabled and no links to it, to send to her so she can see them on her phone at work or something. But the chances of someone brute-forcing the filename to get a handful of pictures is tiny - when half of them don't have any clothes, tattoos, faces, or other identifying features anyway.
 
2012-10-24 02:44:55 PM  

Rent Party: Gaseous Anomaly: Rent Party: The problem with amateur porn isn't the amateur actors, it's the amateur production values. It all looks like it was shot in the dark with a palsied cameraman on a cell phone.

What we need is amateur production people that know what the fark they're doing.

A real-life "Zack and Miri Make *Your* Porno"?

If I get to fark Elizabeth Banks, I don't care who makes it.


finally watched Slither last night.

Jeez EB is fukin' hot.
 
2012-10-24 02:50:45 PM  

Glockenspiel Hero: foxyshadis: Fark Rye For Many Whores: Your homemade porn is safe. No one will ever know what happened behind closed doors with you, a woman, and a goat, Farkers

[www.dvdactive.com image 850x478]

Pan's Labyrinth pr0n would be the most awesome and disturbing thing anyone could ever fap to; your mind would short into white noise as soon as you came. So far there are only very weak attempts to rule 34 it, according to teh Googles... let's get to it, Farkers.

Pan's Labyrinth is basically anti-porn. I rented it one day and watched it with the wife- no chance of getting any at all that evening.

/Coraline was another mood killer
//Thought they were both great anyway


If you really want to avoid sex I can't recommend "The Shining" highly enough.
 
2012-10-24 02:59:29 PM  
External storage is good but you should know that if you want to print out some pics at walmart, the machine just shows every pic you have on that thumb drive. I went to print out some pics of my kids and things got REALLY awkward
 
2012-10-24 03:06:19 PM  
Phew. No one will know about that Obscene Lyra Plushie.
 
2012-10-24 03:18:51 PM  
Your homemade porn is safe with me. I promise not to upload it to any sleazy sites or forward it to other farkers. EIP.
 
2012-10-24 03:24:51 PM  
And Subby knows this how?
 
2012-10-24 03:54:59 PM  

Maturin: I'll have you know the woman had nothing to do with it.


especially if Farker pr0n
 
2012-10-24 03:58:28 PM  

devilEther: [images.fandango.com image 375x250]

I propose moving all homemade porn to one secure location.


YouPorn?
 
2012-10-24 03:58:36 PM  
Looks like CBS writes headlines the way Farkers do.
 
2012-10-24 04:07:32 PM  

uber humper: devilEther: [images.fandango.com image 375x250]

I propose moving all homemade porn to one secure location.

YouPorn?


No one can know, but me.
 
2012-10-24 04:07:51 PM  
Those four paragraphs really massaged my girlfriend's fears, thanks Salon!
 
2012-10-24 04:22:48 PM  

devilEther: uber humper: devilEther: [images.fandango.com image 375x250]

I propose moving all homemade porn to one secure location.

YouPorn?

No one can know, but me.


Well, ok then. I posted this in the repeat thread, but I'll put it in your hands now:

i112.photobucket.com
 
2012-10-24 04:36:16 PM  

uber humper: devilEther: uber humper: devilEther: [images.fandango.com image 375x250]

I propose moving all homemade porn to one secure location.

YouPorn?

No one can know, but me.

Well, ok then. I posted this in the repeat thread, but I'll put it in your hands now:

[i112.photobucket.com image 480x720]


Dude, fark you. No really. What in Gods name is that supposed to be? What is wrong with you?
 
2012-10-24 05:27:54 PM  
I give kudos to the girl for being willing to be photographed thus. She clearly really loves him.

You know, considering.
 
2012-10-24 05:29:35 PM  
So when I find that my renters daughter (age 24) has her pictures up on Guess her muff at blogspot, does that count as safe?
 
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