Headline only makes sense if it was called Shark Beach!

/shakes tiny fist

Rezurok: Headline only makes sense if it was called Shark Beach!

/shakes tiny fist


Yeah, WTF?

Yeah, headline makes little sense. It warns women that if they go to Rapewood Forest with the intent to rape, they will be eaten by a shark.

Maybe the women have to go into the forest to rape trees and then it becomes funny?

he had a snickers bar in his pocket.
/is that commercial still airing?

The shark had a little surf and turf.

To be fair sometimes I want to eat the surfers also.

Fano: Rezurok: Headline only makes sense if it was called Shark Beach!

/shakes tiny fist

This. I had to reread it twice to understand the leap in logic.

Alternate headline references: "Surf Nazis Must Die" "Charlie don't surf"

Agreed... not funny.

Now... Who wants to hear a good story about a bridge?

But the trees are so beautiful this time of year.

Dude, every local knows you don't surf north of Jalama.

Get into my belly


Release the sharktopus

Subby taking the SAT:

BEACH : SURF :: FOREST : _______

a) SHARK
b) ZENITH
c) RAPE
d) EPICURE

/Just choose the one you think is most correct.

Scary crap. We had a windsurfer get attacked up at Davenport earlier this month. A friend also sent a photo of a blood slick (former elephant seal) at Waddell last week. Fall is both shark season and of course the best time of year for surfing.

Time to reinstate great white fishing. Their supposedly delicious.

jtown: Dude, every local knows you don't surf north of Jalama.

Strangely enough, I have an image for this:

I don't see no shark.

it is only a shark if it crosses PCH and bites a cop on the @$$, if they are in the water they are called FISH


//Brought to you by the California Tourist Board

Fano: Rezurok: Headline only makes sense if it was called Shark Beach!

/shakes tiny fist

This. I had to reread it twice to understand the leap in logic.

Alternate headline references: "Surf Nazis Must Die" "Charlie don't surf"

See how the headlines break both ways? One guy can break right, one left, simultaneous. What do you think of that?

I have such a stupid 3rd grade question.. but I am going to ask it.

God I feel like an idiot..

Could the city put in large nets/chain-link fences that would stop any fish larger than say.. 1ftx1ft from passing through it? I don't think it would stop/alter the waves..

ya know, i'll just leave.

Since it was near the Air Force base, does that make the shark a terrorist?

Pfft. Amateurs.
Montana had a guy attacked by a black bear in the Black Bear Creek area of the Black Bear Ranger District earlier this year.

Now there's one he shoulda seen coming.

More Facts:
1.) This happened exactly 2 years and 1 day from the last fatal attack.
2.) At the EXACT SAME BEACH
3.) The only shark fatalities here in years happen at Surf Beach

Meh! Fark it. I am going surfing in Ventura, CA later today at C-Street.

Wish me luck!

Dr.Knockboots: I have such a stupid 3rd grade question.. but I am going to ask it.

I seem to remember they're working on more complicated solutions, which leads me to think it wasn't that easy. Maybe it kills other fish, maybe swimmers catch their ankles and drown, maybe the sharks find a way through anything. I think the next step was to try a fence of chemical shark repellant.

Fark Rye For Many Whores: Dr.Knockboots: I have such a stupid 3rd grade question.. but I am going to ask it.

I seem to remember they're working on more complicated solutions, which leads me to think it wasn't that easy. Maybe it kills other fish, maybe swimmers catch their ankles and drown, maybe the sharks find a way through anything. I think the next step was to try a fence of chemical shark repellant.

I watched a show about killer whales killing great whites. it was fascinating in every respect.

but, relevant to this thread, it was very interesting to realize the effect that the death of a great white would have on the area. When a killer whale kills a great white, they rip the shark to threads, mainly looking for the liver. the liver is full of all sorts of smells and bloods. but, apparently, once the sharks blood gets spilled so violently in the water, it sends off a chemical warning to all the other great whites in the area. the sharks get a whiff and then they leave and don't come back.

it was interesting, they're actually trying to see if this great white shark blood or stuff from the liver will work as a reliable shark deterent commercially.

Fark Rye For Many Whores: Dr.Knockboots: I have such a stupid 3rd grade question.. but I am going to ask it.

I seem to remember they're working on more complicated solutions, which leads me to think it wasn't that easy. Maybe it kills other fish, maybe swimmers catch their ankles and drown, maybe the sharks find a way through anything. I think the next step was to try a fence of chemical shark repellant.

I watched a show about killer whales killing great whites. it was fascinating in every respect.

but, relevant to this thread, it was very interesting to realize the effect that the death of a great white would have on the area. When a killer whale kills a great white, they rip the shark to threads, mainly looking for the liver. the liver is full of all sorts of smells and bloods. but, apparently, once the sharks blood gets spilled so violently in the water, it sends off a chemical warning to all the other great whites in the area. the sharks get a whiff and then they leave and don't come back.

it was interesting, they're actually trying to see if this great white shark blood or stuff from the liver will work as a reliable shark deterent commercially.

They use beach nets in Australia and South Africa, but the nets kill a very large number of marine animals so they are controversial. While they probably wouldn't change the waves at a beach, the animal deaths could severely alter the ecosystem at the beach where a net is used. And they are not fool proof, they can tear or get loose, and require upkeep. Mostly they aren't used in the US because the waters here are just not as sharky and its really not necessary. Its a tragedy when someone dies in a shark attack but in perspective more people died yesterday in car accidents than will die all year from sharks.

Any deterrent is going to have bad side effects and not be 100% effective at repelling sharks. Things that repel sharks like chemicals or electric signals, are quick and rare to the shark. If we introduced a chemical that would repel sharks to a beach constantly the sharks would become accustomed to it and within a few weeks it wouldn't repel sharks anymore. The same goes for the idea of using a electric signal to protect a beach or any of the other ideas. There most likely won't ever be anything to repel sharks and make going in the ocean 100% safe from them. The only thing you can do is be smart and know the risks.

Surf Beach should be the most appropriate place to surf.

To match, I'd suppose subby should have used "Never-rape Forest", but instead lazily scanned it as "Shark Beach" and hurried to submission, therefore deserving a time out in Rapewood Forest.

Man killed in Surf Beach shark attack was surfing, officials say, also warn ladies to stay the hell out of Rapewood Forest

Sounds more like a the place one would go to bugger Pinocchio...

Subby, that headline was horribly & offensive,and I can't re-read it or even think about it without giggling. I'm a sick, sick, bastard. Gonna go club myself at the night club with a club.