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(Connecticut Post)   Judge rules TSA checkpoints officially free of First Amendment encumbrances - hide yo kids, hide yo wife, TSA be gropin errybody in here   (ctpost.com) divider line 226
    More: Sad, Judges' Rules, First Amendment, TSA, Tenn, found guilty  
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15466 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Oct 2012 at 8:18 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-10-23 11:46:41 PM

Weaver95: xynix: shiat .. why is this being greenlit.

because the world deserves to see your clumsy attempts to hit on total*farkettes.


Lmao!!!!
 
2012-10-23 11:51:33 PM

BMFPitt: The terrorists won. Big time.


You can always bank on scared people giving too much power to authoritarians.
 
2012-10-23 11:59:21 PM

Zarquon's Flat Tire: And they were always oddly fitting. And fewer repeats than you would imagine for how prolific he was.


I tried following his footsteps, but, I'm just not cut out from the same stuff he was.
 
2012-10-23 11:59:47 PM

Frank N Stein: xynix: Holy wow you're hot. You also have red hair which adds wow points.. AND you're in Atlanta.. How about Verde in Brookhaven on Tuesday?

Someone should screen cap this and send it to his girlfriend.

Not even joking. Dude's trash.


I think I've seen her on Fark, can't remember her username though.
 
2012-10-24 12:02:51 AM
Ugh. Try going through screening with an insulin pump and opting out of the Advanced Imaging scanner. My name may as well be Achmed.
 
2012-10-24 12:04:18 AM

xynix: shiat .. why is this being greenlit.


suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com
 
2012-10-24 12:10:28 AM

Bontesla: Girion47: Bontesla: xynix: Bontesla: xynix: I'm TSA precheck so I don't have to deal with the morons as often as I used to but I've never been in a TSA scanner nor will I ever go into one. Before they pat me down I ask for their full name and identification number which inevitably leads to "why do you need that?" And I simply reply that if they touch an inappropriate area I will file a -civil- lawsuit against them personally.

No one has ever touched me inappropriately. Except my girlfriend.. and 2 previous wives.

What you didn't realize was that your two ex-wives and your current girlfriend work for the TSA. And you think you're clever.

Holy wow you're hot. You also have red hair which adds wow points.. AND you're in Atlanta.. How about Verde in Brookhaven on Tuesday?

Er. Uhm. Thank you. Jeepers. Thank you. :)
I'm also married.

considering he has a girlfriend, I don't think your husband is an ethical issue for him.

But it is important to me. Totally committed.


You know I've been on fark several years and never seen some dude just completely out of the blue try to pick some girl up that blatantly. Except Grable's Daughter who apparently is soliciting that kind of thing.
 
2012-10-24 12:11:53 AM

xynix: my girlfriend.. and 2 previous wives.

What you didn't realize was that your two ex-wives and your current girlfriend work for the TSA. And you think you're clever.

Holy wow you're hot. You also have red hair which adds wow points.. AND you're in Atlanta.. How about Verde in Brookhaven on Tuesday?


xynix: shiat .. why is this being greenlit.


I just wanted to be part of this epic thread.

Can I get that blonde chick's number from your profile, for the next time I have a layover in ATL?
 
2012-10-24 12:12:28 AM

Weaver95: xynix: shiat .. why is this being greenlit.

because the world deserves to see your clumsy attempts to hit on total*farkettes.


Holy shiat!!! I got to find $5 and get me some TFs. That farking shiat is the funny
 
2012-10-24 12:17:53 AM
Where do I sign up for this 'T.S.A.' thinkgybob?
 
2012-10-24 12:18:13 AM
And yet TSA still doesn't have its own tag. What are you afraid of Drew?
 
2012-10-24 12:19:49 AM

BMFPitt: The terrorists won. Big time.


The dumb part is that flying was relatively convenient right after 9/11. It's only in the past 6 years or so that the TSA has used the news media coverage of failed terrorists as an excuse to buy shiat that war profiteers had been pushing on them since before anyone blew up anything

Same deal with columbine. I went to high school for two years after columbine. Went to college, graduated, got a shiat job substituting where they told me more about "lockdown" procedure and the "national school shooting crisis" than about getting the kids to shut up and do their work.
 
2012-10-24 12:20:44 AM
It is pretty much common knowledge that America is dead, the U.S. Constitution is dead, and the great experiment is over. All that is left is the continuing decline into a full blown fascism. Give it a name.
 
2012-10-24 12:21:15 AM

brandent: Bontesla: Girion47: Bontesla: xynix: Bontesla: xynix: I'm TSA precheck so I don't have to deal with the morons as often as I used to but I've never been in a TSA scanner nor will I ever go into one. Before they pat me down I ask for their full name and identification number which inevitably leads to "why do you need that?" And I simply reply that if they touch an inappropriate area I will file a -civil- lawsuit against them personally.

No one has ever touched me inappropriately. Except my girlfriend.. and 2 previous wives.

What you didn't realize was that your two ex-wives and your current girlfriend work for the TSA. And you think you're clever.

Holy wow you're hot. You also have red hair which adds wow points.. AND you're in Atlanta.. How about Verde in Brookhaven on Tuesday?

Er. Uhm. Thank you. Jeepers. Thank you. :)
I'm also married.

considering he has a girlfriend, I don't think your husband is an ethical issue for him.

But it is important to me. Totally committed.

You know I've been on fark several years and never seen some dude just completely out of the blue try to pick some girl up that blatantly. Except Grable's Daughter who apparently is soliciting that kind of thing.


Pretty sure it's worse on Totalfark. I got a couple gift subscriptions and it's really weird.
 
2012-10-24 12:27:17 AM

FunkOut: I mean, unless you're planning some kind of reboot of the country in the next little while.


i0.kym-cdn.com
 
2012-10-24 12:27:23 AM

Kate Gosselin's Pap Smear: Weaver95: xynix: shiat .. why is this being greenlit.

because the world deserves to see your clumsy attempts to hit on total*farkettes.

Holy shiat!!! I got to find $5 and get me some TFs. That farking shiat is the funny


yeah, if there was ever was a good reason, this thread is right up there.
 
2012-10-24 12:27:46 AM

moothemagiccow: Pretty sure it's worse on Totalfark. I got a couple gift subscriptions and it's really weird.


You have no idea. It was even worse back in the years before the site got all respectable.


www.sydlexia.com

/hot like Bontesla
 
2012-10-24 12:33:14 AM

The last name I had was pretty gay...: Air travel requires you to be groped. It's just the way it is now. Get used to it, or go by train or bus.


You mean go by car, right? Because TSA is in charge of both train and bus travel security now, too. And before too long, they'll have checkpoints on the interstate and travel will become a fond memory for most people.
 
2012-10-24 12:33:40 AM
FWIW, as I had joined the Global Entry program already, I got the chance to try the "TSA-pre" program at HOU (on my way to SNA) for the first time today.

Avoided a huge line - walked directly to the scanner - no wait at all. Shoes left on, laptop left in bag, etc... Getting through security took less than 1 minute... It was great.

Yeah, it's not implemented at all airports, but I've got the drill down and don't sweat the really rather mild inconvenience (kick off sandals or sneakers, hang belt around neck, etc) at those locations. Kind-of surprised when i see people get so worked up about a simple screening actually (Jeff says you'll get over it!)

cheers
 
2012-10-24 12:38:57 AM

moothemagiccow: Pretty sure it's worse on Totalfark. I got a couple gift subscriptions and it's really weird.


Yeah, there's a large percentage of TFers with 'special needs', or at least that's the only assumption that makes sense.
 
2012-10-24 12:40:41 AM
Threads like this remind me of why I joined Fark. Thank you mods, thank you xynix, and thank you kwame most of all.
 
2012-10-24 12:47:22 AM
<b><a href="http://www.fark.com/comments/7397274/80224059#c80224059" target="_blank">HotWingAgenda</a>:</b> <i>moothemagiccow: Pretty sure it's worse on Totalfark. I got a couple gift subscriptions and it's really weird.

You have no idea. It was even worse back in the years before the site got all respectable.


[www.sydlexia.com image 625x506]

/hot like Bontesla</i>

I came up with my user name by the grace of fark users back when fark was full of awesome sauce. Now not so much


/wait wut?
 
2012-10-24 12:48:18 AM

Kate Gosselin's Pap Smear: <b><a href="http://www.fark.com/comments/7397274/80224059#c80224059" target="_blank">HotWingAgenda</a>:</b> <i>moothemagiccow: Pretty sure it's worse on Totalfark. I got a couple gift subscriptions and it's really weird.

You have no idea. It was even worse back in the years before the site got all respectable.


[www.sydlexia.com image 625x506]

/hot like Bontesla</i>

I came up with my user name by the grace of fark users back when fark was full of awesome sauce. Now not so much


/wait wut?


Wtf happened here?
 
2012-10-24 12:49:42 AM

Kate Gosselin's Pap Smear: Kate Gosselin's Pap Smear: <b><a href="http://www.fark.com/comments/7397274/80224059#c80224059" target="_blank">HotWingAgenda</a>:</b> <i>moothemagiccow: Pretty sure it's worse on Totalfark. I got a couple gift subscriptions and it's really weird.

You have no idea. It was even worse back in the years before the site got all respectable.


[www.sydlexia.com image 625x506]

/hot like Bontesla</i>

I came up with my user name by the grace of fark users back when fark was full of awesome sauce. Now not so much


/wait wut?

Wtf happened here?


The oil has hit anus and my iFark tablet is on the fritz
 
2012-10-24 12:53:33 AM

Bontesla: Er. Uhm. Thank you. Jeepers. Thank you. :)
I'm also married.


And I have a girlfriend.. so we're almost even.. so Tuesday?
 
2012-10-24 01:04:58 AM

xynix: Bontesla: Er. Uhm. Thank you. Jeepers. Thank you. :)
I'm also married.

And I have a girlfriend.. so we're almost even.. so Tuesday?


We are at Wednesday. Wednesday is the day for the meat up.

/bring the gimp suit
 
2012-10-24 01:06:30 AM

xynix: Bontesla: Er. Uhm. Thank you. Jeepers. Thank you. :)
I'm also married.

And I have a girlfriend.. so we're almost even.. so Tuesday?


reflectionsinhindsight.files.wordpress.com

persistence-poster.jpg
 
2012-10-24 01:07:58 AM

SpeedyBB: CygnusDarius: Guys, guys, we need to focus on what's really important: How to make the TSA's job more fun and interesting.

/'tis the season, btw
//the season for groping

Somehow there came flashing into my mind this shot of Harpo Marx going through airport security, with that baggy coat a-bulging.

Bored-looking overweight black woman asks him to please remove the contents and out comes a tuba three cats a lemon meringue pie a confused-looking midget a dozen cans of beans (one open) and so on.

Harpo honks his bulbous horn, and smiles. Alarms go off everywhere. Towers open fire.


I like the cut of your silverware, violin bow, chafing dish, Groucho's glasses, etc.
 
2012-10-24 01:08:46 AM
I guess I shall not name the one who makes awesomely stupid eating threads, lest I call down the mods' wrath again. But I still thank him and xynix for making my Farking worth it.
 
2012-10-24 01:12:10 AM

foxyshadis: I guess I shall not name the one who makes awesomely stupid eating threads, lest I call down the mods' wrath again. But I still thank him and xynix for making my Farking worth it.


Meh.. threadjacking ban.. It's like candy these days and THEY did greenlight it.
 
2012-10-24 01:13:27 AM
I'll just drop this riiiight here.

i176.photobucket.com

xynix, you weirdo, you ultra-pwnt the thread. :D
 
2012-10-24 01:22:11 AM

brandent: You know I've been on fark several years and never seen some dude just completely out of the blue try to pick some girl up that blatantly. Except Grable's Daughter who apparently is soliciting that kind of thing.


Don't expect to see her back any time in the future...

And yes, this was comedy gold really quick... Almost as good as some of the Kwame threads...
 
2012-10-24 01:26:10 AM

atomicmask: "I don't like being patted down, bawww, the TSA IS SO MEAN"

so then piss the hell off and ride a bus or train you whiny shiatbags. If the TSA didn't exist you would be screaming "WHY DIDN'T WE HAVE SECURITY" when another muslim hijacks another plane and crashes it into another building...

So deal with it, or stay the fark on the ground. You do have other options, but I know your overwhelming entitlement won't let you do that.


I've never thought about scary mooslims hijacking planes and crashing them into buildings because, um, it rarely happens. Now consider that a total of five passenger planes in the United States have been blown up or forced to crash. Five. Now consider that at my home airport, rinky-dink little 13-gate Dane County Regional Airport has about 100 arrivals and departures of airline flights each day. That's 36,000 per year in and out of Madison, Wisconsin. And when you think about the traffic going in and out of LAX, ATL, ORD, LGA, BOS, DFW, IAD, and SFO you see that we have little if anything to worry about. I'm certainly not worried and will not be very "vigilant" as the TSA and NYPD tells me I need to be.

The TSA has proven ineffective time and again through spot checks. They've also been caught stealing from passengers on numerous occasions. While I don't agree they're out to destroy our freedoms (they'd have to be smarter), I do think they're an incredible waste of time and money
 
2012-10-24 01:27:33 AM

atomicmask: "I don't like being patted down, bawww, the TSA IS SO MEAN"

so then piss the hell off and ride a bus or train you whiny shiatbags. If the TSA didn't exist you would be screaming "WHY DIDN'T WE HAVE SECURITY" when another muslim hijacks another plane and crashes it into another building...

So deal with it, or stay the fark on the ground. You do have other options, but I know your overwhelming entitlement won't let you do that.


Hey everybody THAT GUY is here!
 
2012-10-24 01:30:15 AM

SpeedyBB: CygnusDarius: Guys, guys, we need to focus on what's really important: How to make the TSA's job more fun and interesting.

/'tis the season, btw
//the season for groping

Somehow there came flashing into my mind this shot of Harpo Marx going through airport security, with that baggy coat a-bulging.

Bored-looking overweight black woman asks him to please remove the contents and out comes a tuba three cats a lemon meringue pie a confused-looking midget a dozen cans of beans (one open) and so on.

Harpo honks his bulbous horn, and smiles. Alarms go off everywhere. Towers open fire.


That was awesome. Have a gookie:

www.harpomarx.net

Link
 
2012-10-24 01:33:06 AM

atomicmask: Actually, I've never thought about this...but wouldn't it be cheaper to just keep an air marshal on every flight as opposed to hiring a gaggle of idiots that do nothing

Yes and when a flight marshal has to fire a weapon inside a pressurized cabin to stop a muslim extremist from using box cutters/a bomb and blowing everyone up, how much do you wanna be in that situation?


Pretty sure they use ammo similar to this for just that very reason:
Link
 
2012-10-24 01:42:25 AM

xynix: Bontesla: Er. Uhm. Thank you. Jeepers. Thank you. :)
I'm also married.

And I have a girlfriend.. so we're almost even.. so Tuesday?


Scumbagsteve.jpg
 
2012-10-24 01:53:33 AM

Weaver95: xynix: shiat .. why is this being greenlit.

because the world deserves to see your clumsy attempts to hit on total*farkettes.


I have learned so much from them. "Holy wow, you are hot" gonna use that tonight.
 
2012-10-24 02:01:37 AM

Voiceofreason01: exercising free speech =! assault


What I wonder is where did the court manage to get 12 people who haven't flown since 9/11 and who don't know about the TSA policy of groping kids and old people.

And yes it is now considered assault or disorderly conduct when you tell some braindead government drone to not touch your kid's crotch after you've spent 14 years telling said kid not to let strangers touch them.

Will someone tell me how it's a crime when Father Flannigan gropes your kid at church, but it's ok for him to do it when he's a TSA employee.
 
2012-10-24 02:12:48 AM

Kanemano: I have yet to run into a TSA agent that was anything but courteous and professional


Courteous and professional rapists are still rapists.
 
2012-10-24 02:21:49 AM
On the lighter side of the news, it looks like the TSA is phasing out the backscatter machines. Sure, they're being replaced with mmwave machines, but I'll take being slightly cooked over being irradiated any day. Beats being groped every time I travel.
 
2012-10-24 02:44:56 AM

profplump: Kanemano: I have yet to run into a TSA agent that was anything but courteous and professional

Courteous and professional rapists are still rapists.


Hi. My name is Bob, and I'll be your robber.
 
2012-10-24 02:49:41 AM

PaLarkin:

What I wonder is where did the court manage to get 12 people who haven't flown since 9/11 and who don't know about the TSA policy of groping kids and old people.

.


Actually what they probably did was strike anyone who had anything bad to say about TSA methods struck from the jury.
 
2012-10-24 03:08:53 AM

cmb53208: PaLarkin:

What I wonder is where did the court manage to get 12 people who haven't flown since 9/11 and who don't know about the TSA policy of groping kids and old people.

.

Actually what they probably did was strike anyone who had anything bad to say about TSA methods struck from the jury.


"Do you understand the jury instructions as they were given to you?"
"Yes."
"Recused."
 
2012-10-24 03:12:43 AM
xynix.

Nozzle or bag? You decide.
 
2012-10-24 03:30:46 AM
Some days Fark makes me smile,
 
HBK
2012-10-24 03:48:20 AM
Good icebreakers for a TSA patdown:

"I hope you're also getting an erection."

"I was hoping I would get you. I didn't wipe my ass this morning."

"Do I need to tell my boyfriend about this?"

"Was this your life goal when you were filling out your GED paperwork?"

"I tickle easy."

"Is it my turn yet?"

"Not too hard, please. I come very easily."

"I haven't been groped like this since Boy Scout camp."

"Do your kids know that you touch balls for a living?"

"I'm usually a boxer-brief sort of guy, but today- COMMANDO"

"What's your rate for a half and half?"

"You missed a spot."

/Everytime I fly I realize that the terrorists won.
 
2012-10-24 05:14:15 AM

Archimedes' Principal: I would think that if enough people would refuse to use any transportation that required a TSA 'physical', the airline industry would use its influence to put the kibosh on this security theater insanity.

/ Money talks.


I would think that the airline industry would simply then expend political capital to ram an individual flight mandate down our throats.
 
2012-10-24 05:33:05 AM

President Merkin Muffley: Archimedes' Principal: I would think that if enough people would refuse to use any transportation that required a TSA 'physical', the airline industry would use its influence to put the kibosh on this security theater insanity.

/ Money talks.

I would think that the airline industry would simply then expend political capital to ram an individual flight mandate down our throats.


Do they have any left after the bailouts?
 
2012-10-24 05:51:59 AM

untaken_name: President Merkin Muffley: Archimedes' Principal: I would think that if enough people would refuse to use any transportation that required a TSA 'physical', the airline industry would use its influence to put the kibosh on this security theater insanity.

/ Money talks.

I would think that the airline industry would simply then expend political capital to ram an individual flight mandate down our throats.

Do they have any left after the bailouts?


The TSA is huge, unionized and dependent upon the airlines. I think they might have some.
 
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