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(ABC)   Church returns gay parishioner to the closet   (abcnews.go.com) divider line 16
    More: Sad, Department of Social Services, Rutherford County, North Carolina, Bible study, mass shooting, Charlotte Observer  
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14852 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Oct 2012 at 12:55 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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Archived thread
2012-10-23 10:04:37 AM
8 votes:

Cythraul: Diogenes: I'm tempted to say something thoroughly sacrilegious.

I give you permission. I have the authority, I'm from the internet.


Post gay "delivery" interview:

"So, were you filled with Christ?"

"Oh, yes. He was HUGE!"
2012-10-23 09:59:45 AM
3 votes:

Diogenes: I'm tempted to say something thoroughly sacrilegious.


I give you permission. I have the authority, I'm from the internet.
2012-10-23 02:06:00 PM
2 votes:

Cythraul: wellreadneck: Ever notice that when a foul cock-sucking demon is driven out, he never seems to take the lisp with him?

I'm stealing this.


Glad someone likes it. My bible-thumpin', fist-pumpin', pew-jumpin' cousins didn't find it funny, at all.
2012-10-23 09:43:13 AM
2 votes:
And then I pull out my gun!
2012-10-23 09:37:21 AM
2 votes:
This sounds exactly like something Jesus would do.
2012-10-23 06:18:30 PM
1 votes:
ghettodwarf: Damn you drive a hard bargain.

heh heh
You said Hard
heh heh
2012-10-23 04:50:41 PM
1 votes:
"As far as this church being against gays, that's absurdity. There are 18 people in this church who have been delivered..."

www.getgags.com
2012-10-23 03:45:20 PM
1 votes:

letrole: Homosexuality is a Learned Behaviour. The instinct for sex involves thrusting and groping and kissing and so forth. If you get horny at the sight of a naked man, or if you get horny at the sight of a naked woman, it is only because you have been taught to make that association.


-5 for obvious trolliness. Cause I usually fall for trolls and I caught this one. But maybe I'm getting internetier? OK -2 cause my internets might be getting stronger. But then you have a frenchy sounding troll name, so it's not like you're trying to hide it. We'll break even on this one...0 internets. Ok Ok, you caught somebody a few posts down from yours. +2 trolly internets. Damn you drive a hard bargain.
2012-10-23 01:51:19 PM
1 votes:
Ever notice that when a foul cock-sucking demon is driven out, he never seems to take the lisp with him?
2012-10-23 01:21:08 PM
1 votes:
"But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father who is in secret; and thy Father who seeth in secret shall reward thee openly." (Matt. 6:6)

These are the words of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. What is immediately obvious to us is His direction to go into the closet and shut the door. What we do not see right away in this Renaissance English translation is that in the original Aramaic the word "schlesht" referred to a secured place in a large house or compound. Often these would lock from the outside so valuables could be secured and left. Indeed, the expression "shut thy door" says.....other things....

He is to be locked in the closet and he should pray until he is restored. If he is free to run the streets he might well gay someone.
2012-10-23 01:18:45 PM
1 votes:
Mmmm fat churchy gay guy. Not alot of prospects.
2012-10-23 01:10:29 PM
1 votes:
"As far as this church being against gays, that's absurdity. There are 18 people in this church who have been delivered, they're not homosexual anymore, but if they were they could still stay locked in the church," she said.

FTFH
2012-10-23 01:01:15 PM
1 votes:
Yeah, like no one in the Church is gay or a HUGE Pedophile. .

weedoom.com
2012-10-23 01:00:05 PM
1 votes:
... Having grown up in a church that was open and affirming (United Church of Christ), to the point of having attended a gay marriage ceremony, presided over by our pastors, when I was *five* (Mostly I remember being bored to tears, but, five), stuff like this always confuses the SHIAT out of me.

I realize now the UCC is a bit of a minority when it comes to churches (what with a history of being highly liberal and pro rights for all... to the point of appointing openly gay pastors as early as 1972), but, WHAT THE FARK.

/Not really a UCC member/christian now, as my own views have wandered.
//I'm probably a Pratchettist if anything.
2012-10-23 10:29:04 AM
1 votes:

Diogenes: Cythraul: Diogenes: I'm tempted to say something thoroughly sacrilegious.

I give you permission. I have the authority, I'm from the internet.

Post gay "delivery" interview:

"So, were you filled with Christ?"

"Oh, yes. He was HUGE!"


I like it. You get +5 sin points.
2012-10-23 09:59:10 AM
1 votes:

exick: There are 18 people in this church who have been delivered

The word you're looking for is "brainwashed". And there are a fark of a lot more than 18 of them in your church I assure you.


Part of the reason it's so hard for me to find a decent date, living in North Carolina. Come on closet cases. Think of your fellow homosexuals. You may be denying some special someone out there your loving companionship.
 
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