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(ABC)   Church returns gay parishioner to the closet   (abcnews.go.com) divider line 61
    More: Sad, Department of Social Services, Rutherford County, North Carolina, Bible study, mass shooting, Charlotte Observer  
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14854 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Oct 2012 at 12:55 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



61 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-10-23 09:37:21 AM  
This sounds exactly like something Jesus would do.
 
2012-10-23 09:40:21 AM  
FTA: "As far as this church being against gays, that's absurdity. There are 18 people in this church who have been delivered, they're not homosexual anymore, but if they were they could still stay in the church," she said.

Not homosexual anymore.. suuuuure.
 
2012-10-23 09:43:13 AM  
And then I pull out my gun!
 
2012-10-23 09:57:30 AM  
There are 18 people in this church who have been delivered

The word you're looking for is "brainwashed". And there are a fark of a lot more than 18 of them in your church I assure you.
 
2012-10-23 09:58:55 AM  
I'm tempted to say something thoroughly sacrilegious.
 
2012-10-23 09:59:10 AM  

exick: There are 18 people in this church who have been delivered

The word you're looking for is "brainwashed". And there are a fark of a lot more than 18 of them in your church I assure you.


Part of the reason it's so hard for me to find a decent date, living in North Carolina. Come on closet cases. Think of your fellow homosexuals. You may be denying some special someone out there your loving companionship.
 
2012-10-23 09:59:45 AM  

Diogenes: I'm tempted to say something thoroughly sacrilegious.


I give you permission. I have the authority, I'm from the internet.
 
2012-10-23 10:04:37 AM  

Cythraul: Diogenes: I'm tempted to say something thoroughly sacrilegious.

I give you permission. I have the authority, I'm from the internet.


Post gay "delivery" interview:

"So, were you filled with Christ?"

"Oh, yes. He was HUGE!"
 
2012-10-23 10:29:04 AM  

Diogenes: Cythraul: Diogenes: I'm tempted to say something thoroughly sacrilegious.

I give you permission. I have the authority, I'm from the internet.

Post gay "delivery" interview:

"So, were you filled with Christ?"

"Oh, yes. He was HUGE!"


I like it. You get +5 sin points.
 
2012-10-23 12:59:16 PM  
"As far as this church being against gays, that's absurdity. There are 18 people in this church who have been delivered, they're not homosexual anymore, but if they were they could still stay in the church,"

Now THAT'S some impressive cognitive dissonance.
 
2012-10-23 12:59:28 PM  
TFA:"The pastor said to find out what my darkest secret was, and I was like, 'I'm never telling,' Lowry told WLOS. "They hit my head with fists and I was out on the floor, they held my hands and feet down and were pushing on my chest and I could barely breathe."

Hate to be debby-downer, but this sounds like attention whoring to me, especially considering the timing and the fact that this guy didn't bring this to the police in 2011.
 
2012-10-23 01:00:05 PM  
... Having grown up in a church that was open and affirming (United Church of Christ), to the point of having attended a gay marriage ceremony, presided over by our pastors, when I was *five* (Mostly I remember being bored to tears, but, five), stuff like this always confuses the SHIAT out of me.

I realize now the UCC is a bit of a minority when it comes to churches (what with a history of being highly liberal and pro rights for all... to the point of appointing openly gay pastors as early as 1972), but, WHAT THE FARK.

/Not really a UCC member/christian now, as my own views have wandered.
//I'm probably a Pratchettist if anything.
 
2012-10-23 01:01:15 PM  
Yeah, like no one in the Church is gay or a HUGE Pedophile. .

weedoom.com
 
2012-10-23 01:01:17 PM  

Diogenes: Cythraul: Diogenes: I'm tempted to say something thoroughly sacrilegious.

I give you permission. I have the authority, I'm from the internet.

Post gay "delivery" interview:

"So, were you filled with Christ?"

"Oh, yes. He was HUGE!"


Haaaaah, awesome.

/You would probably enjoy Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter.
//It's sacrilegious AND awful!
 
2012-10-23 01:03:38 PM  

exick: There are 18 people in this church who have been delivered

The word you're looking for is "brainwashed". And there are a fark of a lot more than 18 of them in your church I assure you.


I would say the word is "lying" so that they can remain a part of the church community without having to go through further exorcisms.
 
2012-10-23 01:03:47 PM  
"As far as this church being against gays, that's absurdity. There are 18 people in this church who have been delivered, they're not homosexual anymore, but if they were they could still stay in the church," she said.
Way to shred your already-negligible credibility.
 
2012-10-23 01:07:54 PM  

TofuTheAlmighty: "As far as this church being against gays, that's absurdity. There are 18 people in this church who have been delivered, they're not homosexual anymore, but if they were they could still stay in the church," she said.Way to shred your already-negligible credibility.


Once you have convinced yourself that eternal hellfire awaits you, there is nothing you can't excuse in the name of your faith. That is why religions are so questionable as moral authority to any rational person.
 
2012-10-23 01:10:29 PM  
"As far as this church being against gays, that's absurdity. There are 18 people in this church who have been delivered, they're not homosexual anymore, but if they were they could still stay locked in the church," she said.

FTFH
 
2012-10-23 01:13:30 PM  

ChipNASA: Yeah, like no one in the Church is gay or a HUGE Pedophile. .

[weedoom.com image 350x585]


because they're totally the same thing ,amirite?
 
2012-10-23 01:13:58 PM  
You know, I know several openly gay Christians, but they are members of legitimate, moderate denominational churches, and not non-denom cults.
 
2012-10-23 01:14:32 PM  
so put some people in jail if it is true. If it isn't, put this guy in jail. Oh, and nuke the south from orbit

/not because of this
 
2012-10-23 01:16:38 PM  
WWJB? Who Would Jesus Beat?
 
2012-10-23 01:18:45 PM  
Mmmm fat churchy gay guy. Not alot of prospects.
 
2012-10-23 01:21:08 PM  
"But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father who is in secret; and thy Father who seeth in secret shall reward thee openly." (Matt. 6:6)

These are the words of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. What is immediately obvious to us is His direction to go into the closet and shut the door. What we do not see right away in this Renaissance English translation is that in the original Aramaic the word "schlesht" referred to a secured place in a large house or compound. Often these would lock from the outside so valuables could be secured and left. Indeed, the expression "shut thy door" says.....other things....

He is to be locked in the closet and he should pray until he is restored. If he is free to run the streets he might well gay someone.
 
2012-10-23 01:23:38 PM  

Cast: Mmmm fat churchy gay guy. Not alot of prospects.


Hey, he only escaped a year ago!! Give him time to become the regular gay dude in our moderately liberal protestant churches!! He could be buff yet!!
 
2012-10-23 01:29:04 PM  
Religion of Peace
 
2012-10-23 01:32:37 PM  

12349876: Mythology of Peace


Fixed that for you.
 
2012-10-23 01:37:25 PM  
Lowry claims that he was kept in a church dormitory for months in 2011 after telling church members he was gay, according to the Charlotte Observer.

He was over 18. That's a lawsuit.

See Jason Scott v. Cult Awareness Network, the results of the lawsuit forced the Cult Awareness Network into bankruptcy and its assets were bought by $cientology, and is now an apparent $cientology front group.
 
2012-10-23 01:47:49 PM  
"They hit my head with fists and I was out on the floor, they held my hands and feet down and were pushing on my chest and I could barely breathe."

Religion of Peace
 
2012-10-23 01:51:19 PM  
Ever notice that when a foul cock-sucking demon is driven out, he never seems to take the lisp with him?
 
2012-10-23 01:54:01 PM  
god loves everyone equal.. just not those that don't like the same stuff he likes
 
2012-10-23 01:57:04 PM  

wellreadneck: Ever notice that when a foul cock-sucking demon is driven out, he never seems to take the lisp with him?


I'm stealing this.
 
2012-10-23 01:59:09 PM  

Felgraf: ... Having grown up in a church that was open and affirming (United Church of Christ), to the point of having attended a gay marriage ceremony, presided over by our pastors, when I was *five* (Mostly I remember being bored to tears, but, five), stuff like this always confuses the SHIAT out of me.

I realize now the UCC is a bit of a minority when it comes to churches (what with a history of being highly liberal and pro rights for all... to the point of appointing openly gay pastors as early as 1972), but, WHAT THE FARK.

/Not really a UCC member/christian now, as my own views have wandered.
//I'm probably a Pratchettist if anything.


me too on the Pratchettist
/ thinking of getting the Summoning Dark tattooed on my wrist
 
2012-10-23 02:06:00 PM  

Cythraul: wellreadneck: Ever notice that when a foul cock-sucking demon is driven out, he never seems to take the lisp with him?

I'm stealing this.


Glad someone likes it. My bible-thumpin', fist-pumpin', pew-jumpin' cousins didn't find it funny, at all.
 
2012-10-23 02:21:23 PM  
Homosexuality is a Learned Behaviour. The instinct for sex involves thrusting and groping and kissing and so forth. If you get horny at the sight of a naked man, or if you get horny at the sight of a naked woman, it is only because you have been taught to make that association.
 
2012-10-23 02:22:21 PM  

letrole: Homosexuality is a Learned Behaviour. The instinct for sex involves thrusting and groping and kissing and so forth. If you get horny at the sight of a naked man, or if you get horny at the sight of a naked woman, it is only because you have been taught to make that association.


Hey, LeTrole, I keep asking you for your nude pics, but you never send them to me. I'm getting the feeling you've been teasing me.
 
2012-10-23 02:26:34 PM  
Ugh, Word of Faith. These are also the yahoos who spout the "prosperity gospel". Jesus wants you to be rich and wear fancy clothes and drive fancy cars; and if you're poor, you're just not praying hard enough.
 
2012-10-23 02:48:03 PM  

Dogsbody: WWJB? Who Would Jesus Beat?


Bankers...
 
2012-10-23 02:56:01 PM  
You're not following the teachings of Jesus. That means you're not a church. Stop perverting the Gospels, you assholes.
 
2012-10-23 03:18:59 PM  

letrole: Homosexuality is a Learned Behaviour. The instinct for sex involves thrusting and groping and kissing and so forth. If you get horny at the sight of a naked man, or if you get horny at the sight of a naked woman, it is only because you have been taught to make that association.


What does this have to do with love?
 
2012-10-23 03:19:48 PM  

Marine1: You're not following the teachings of Jesus. That means you're not a church. Stop perverting the Gospels, you assholes.


It's all crazy nonsense, just a different flavor.
 
2012-10-23 03:34:20 PM  

Diogenes: Cythraul: Diogenes: I'm tempted to say something thoroughly sacrilegious.

I give you permission. I have the authority, I'm from the internet.

Post gay "delivery" interview:

"So, were you filled with Christ?"

"Oh, yes. He was HUGE!"


Bwahahaha...love it. My fave:

"Why do the ladies/gents love Jesus?"
Why?
"Because he's hung like THIS!"
(stretch out arms as if on the cross)

Can I join you in that handbasket? It looks cozy. ;)
 
2012-10-23 03:36:17 PM  
So if you're gay, they spank you? Because that sounds a bit more like a gay sex club than a church.
 
2012-10-23 03:37:51 PM  
Peter: Wow, is that really the blood of Christ?
Preacher: Yes, it is.
Peter: Holy crap, that guy must've been wasted 24 hours a day.
 
2012-10-23 03:45:20 PM  

letrole: Homosexuality is a Learned Behaviour. The instinct for sex involves thrusting and groping and kissing and so forth. If you get horny at the sight of a naked man, or if you get horny at the sight of a naked woman, it is only because you have been taught to make that association.


-5 for obvious trolliness. Cause I usually fall for trolls and I caught this one. But maybe I'm getting internetier? OK -2 cause my internets might be getting stronger. But then you have a frenchy sounding troll name, so it's not like you're trying to hide it. We'll break even on this one...0 internets. Ok Ok, you caught somebody a few posts down from yours. +2 trolly internets. Damn you drive a hard bargain.
 
2012-10-23 04:50:41 PM  
"As far as this church being against gays, that's absurdity. There are 18 people in this church who have been delivered..."

www.getgags.com
 
2012-10-23 05:13:15 PM  

ChipNASA: Yeah, like no one in the Church is gay or a HUGE Pedophile.


They have nothing to do with each other. The church HATES gays, though being gay is not a crime and harms no one. Churches encourage pedophiles by hiding and relocating their pedophile priests.

If you think there is any relation between being gay and being a pedophile, you sound like a member of this church.
 
2012-10-23 05:40:15 PM  
HOPEFULLY this case will go better than most of the other cases where folks have been unlawfully imprisoned by dominionists in churches.

Admittedly, almost all the other cases involve kids, and this involves someone over 18, and this is a criminal rather than a civil suit. With the case being in the Southeast, though, I always worry about the possibility that it'll be held up for years and punishment whittled away until a pro-dominionist sympathetic judge is found (a la the Laura Schubert case--which the Assemblies of God tied up in the court system for fourteen years in appeals until the verdict was outright tossed by the Texas Supreme Court--and in part by a judge that has been particularly notorious as being "pro-Bible-based-cult" in his rulings (he also pretty much was responsible for the lawsuit by ex-FLDS members against Warren Jeffs being thrown out in Texas). Still, though, it's notoriously difficult to get charges against "Bible-based" coercive religious groups, even in cases of frank religiously motivated child abuse.
 
2012-10-23 06:03:37 PM  

Slam Dunkz: Marine1: You're not following the teachings of Jesus. That means you're not a church. Stop perverting the Gospels, you assholes.

It's all crazy nonsense, just a different flavor.


One man's crazy nonsense is another man's guidance. Why we can't understand that as a species (both theists and atheists), I can't quite grasp.
 
2012-10-23 06:18:30 PM  
ghettodwarf: Damn you drive a hard bargain.

heh heh
You said Hard
heh heh
 
2012-10-23 06:42:55 PM  
My headline was funnier: NC church supports its gay members with free room and board.
 
2012-10-23 07:16:19 PM  

Felgraf: ... Having grown up in a church that was open and affirming (United Church of Christ), to the point of having attended a gay marriage ceremony, presided over by our pastors, when I was *five* (Mostly I remember being bored to tears, but, five), stuff like this always confuses the SHIAT out of me.

I realize now the UCC is a bit of a minority when it comes to churches (what with a history of being highly liberal and pro rights for all... to the point of appointing openly gay pastors as early as 1972), but, WHAT THE FARK.


THIS SO MUCH

Grew up UCC, later attended Unity* (which makes UCC look downright fundie-ish by comparisson).

There are congregations for whom teh ghey is a beautiful and welcomed part of God's diverse creation. Why on earth would anyone who had even a touch of something other than missionary-straight attend a close-minded church? I do not get it at all. Run away, unstraight brothers and sisters. Run fast. Run far.

*Unity =/= Unitarian. Totally different.
 
2012-10-23 07:18:23 PM  

indylaw: You know, I know several openly gay Christians, but they are members of legitimate, moderate denominational churches, and not non-denom cults.


God came down and signed the deeds?

What's a "legitimate" religion?
 
2012-10-23 07:23:15 PM  
FTA: "As far as this church being against gays, that's absurdity. There are 18 people in this church who have been delivered, they're not homosexual anymore, but if they were they could still stay in the church," she said.

Unspoken: "In fact, we would keep them there"
 
2012-10-23 07:27:36 PM  

Slam Dunkz: Marine1: You're not following the teachings of Jesus. That means you're not a church. Stop perverting the Gospels, you assholes.

It's all crazy nonsense, just a different flavor.


Marine1: You're not following the teachings of Jesus. That means you're not a church. Stop perverting the Gospels, you assholes.


That's a really good theological argument to repeal church tax-exemption. Too bad it couldn't only apply to Christians, the Jews are really cool. They don't have Jesus to tell them not to judge others, yet most Jews know how to do it better than a lot of Christians.
 
2012-10-23 07:31:01 PM  

czei: My headline was funnier: NC church supports its gay members with free room and board.


Lol, you're right, your headline is better.

Sorry subby, just sayin'
 
2012-10-23 07:39:17 PM  

Cast: Mmmm fat churchy gay guy. Not alot of prospects.


www.truthwinsout.org
 
2012-10-23 08:25:00 PM  
A North Carolina church S&M club...

FTFTFA

Also, you're doing it wrong. You have to suppress and repress, not oppress. Don't physically beat the people who don't abide by your club's rules. Then the terrorists win. You have to shame them into obedience.
 
2012-10-23 09:11:48 PM  

rogue_L_chick: Diogenes: Cythraul: Diogenes: I'm tempted to say something thoroughly sacrilegious.

I give you permission. I have the authority, I'm from the internet.

Post gay "delivery" interview:

"So, were you filled with Christ?"

"Oh, yes. He was HUGE!"

Bwahahaha...love it. My fave:

"Why do the ladies/gents love Jesus?"
Why?
"Because he's hung like THIS!"
(stretch out arms as if on the cross)

Can I join you in that handbasket? It looks cozy. ;)


And you know why Jesus died on that cross, don't you?

He forgot his safe word.

/Nailed it!
 
2012-10-24 12:16:48 AM  
TFA: "The pastor said to find out what my darkest secret was, and I was like, 'I'm never telling,' Lowry told WLOS. "They hit my head with fists and I was out on the floor, they held my hands and feet down and were pushing on my chest and I could barely breathe."

Yaxe: Hate to be debby-downer, but this sounds like attention whoring to me, especially considering the timing and the fact that this guy didn't bring this to the police in 2011.


That's not being a debby-downer. That's feebly trying to deny something that makes your team look bad.
 
2012-10-24 07:06:15 AM  

God-is-a-Taco: indylaw: You know, I know several openly gay Christians, but they are members of legitimate, moderate denominational churches, and not non-denom cults.

God came down and signed the deeds?

What's a "legitimate" religion?


It seems to be, first of all, from what I understand from theologians, it's really rare. If it's a legitimate religion, the perishioner's soul has ways to try to shut the whole thing down.
 
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