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(Daily Mail)   LA's latest craze is a $1200 injection of collagen that reportedly doubles the size of their G-Spot from nonexistent to still nonexistent   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 205
    More: Interesting, G Spot, Sounds Good, Harley Street, orgasms, G-shot, collagen  
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13528 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Oct 2012 at 4:21 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



205 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-10-23 07:07:58 PM  

que.guero: [www.intalek.com image 600x480]

/obligatory and likely obscure to anyone who hasn't spent time in NorCal


That place was such a scam. I didn't even get any superhero powers from the "giant chunk of iron in the earth that bends gravity" or whatever the fark they claim is going on. Also, I just kept wondering why the buildings were all skewed.

/Because they were? Duh
 
2012-10-23 07:08:39 PM  
Are any of you ladies having trouble with your g-spot? Allow me to provide my professional services, only half price to FARKers.
 
2012-10-23 07:10:29 PM  

bill4935: [imageshack.us image 511x345]


*tiny fist*
 
2012-10-23 07:16:10 PM  

Gabrielmot: GGracie: A needle... down there
*wince*
No thank you. I'll just keep up my quest to find a good man who can find it without the need for injectables

So, a guy who only wants to do oral? Good luck...


Uh, G-spot's on the inside and is found with a finger or penis at a certain angle or the right kind of sex toy. Clit's on the outside and can be found with Google Maps.
 
2012-10-23 07:16:14 PM  

pete1729: My exwife's gspot could be accessed via her anus.

Good times... thereafter followed by bad times.


So you weren't the one who made that discovery?
 
2012-10-23 07:23:06 PM  

Pinner: You should see her G-Spot!

[doodiepants.com image 462x600]

hot lips


Yeesh. Looks like you could wet her lips, stick her to a wall and she'd never be able to remove herself.
 
2012-10-23 07:28:14 PM  

FunkOut: Gabrielmot: GGracie: A needle... down there
*wince*
No thank you. I'll just keep up my quest to find a good man who can find it without the need for injectables

So, a guy who only wants to do oral? Good luck...

Uh, G-spot's on the inside and is found with a finger or penis at a certain angle or the right kind of sex toy. Clit's on the outside and can be found with Google Maps.


Crap. I got the new iPhone.
 
2012-10-23 07:29:42 PM  
timstvshowcase.com 

can i get collagen injections?
 
2012-10-23 07:34:49 PM  
it's easier to hit on some women than others

not hit, I meant rub, tantalize, tickle

that's better
 
2012-10-23 07:35:26 PM  
Why do so many go in search of lost treasure when the little man in the boat is right there, out in the open?
 
2012-10-23 07:41:34 PM  
I can't believe a YTMND is somehow relevant in 2012, but here it is...

How to find it in plain English. 
Mildly NSFW
 
2012-10-23 07:41:37 PM  
Can't find her G-spot? Hell, that's her problem
 
2012-10-23 07:44:44 PM  
Ladies, for only $1 I will find your gspot and show you how to find it. You just lay back and enjoy as I conduct the search.

If I can't find it after 15 minutes, I'll give you your dollar back. Guaranteed.
 
2012-10-23 07:55:15 PM  

asciidic: Ladies, for only $1 I will find your gspot and show you how to find it. You just lay back and enjoy as I conduct the search.

If I can't find it after 15 minutes, I'll give you your dollar back. Guaranteed.


It's good, charitable people such as this that give me hope for humanity. People willing to give their time and expertise to those in need.
 
2012-10-23 08:07:15 PM  

karmaceutical: pete1729: My exwife's gspot could be accessed via her anus.

Good times... thereafter followed by bad times.

So you weren't the one who made that discovery?


I've said too much already.
 
2012-10-23 08:09:19 PM  

GGracie: A needle... down there
*wince*
No thank you. I'll just keep up my quest to find a good man who can find it without the need for injectables


Hey Lady, I have an American Express Centurian Caaaarrrrrrrrdddd....

/did I find it?
 
2012-10-23 08:15:50 PM  
Ya know how you picked up a six pack in the old-fashioned plastic rings thingy that used to kill baby fish and ducks?

Do that...

\ You are welcome.
 
2012-10-23 08:19:00 PM  

ArmanTanzarian: Ya know how you picked up a six pack in the old-fashioned plastic rings thingy that used to kill baby fish and ducks?

Do that...

\ You are welcome.


www.simpsoncrazy.com
 
2012-10-23 08:22:27 PM  

Jon iz teh kewl: ArmanTanzarian: Ya know how you picked up a six pack in the old-fashioned plastic rings thingy that used to kill baby fish and ducks?

Do that...

\ You are welcome.

[www.simpsoncrazy.com image 500x376]


nope... ahhh... youth.
 
2012-10-23 08:36:46 PM  
This story reminds me of my favorite joke:

Q: "How do you make a woman cum?"

A: "Who cares?"
 
2012-10-23 08:38:54 PM  
How about no? If a lover is skilled/well endowed or hopefully both, and you love him, no worries. And the whole needles going near the hoohah? No thanks, and I say this as a woman who has just recently had a second IUD inserted with no anesthesia (thank you PP for your reasonable rates, not accepting my insurance coverage and Medieval practices that raised everyone in the waiting room to their feet to my anguished screams 2 months ago, I survived, and want a t-shirt dammit)

Yeah, so, no thankee. Women's medicine needs to make major advancements before I'd ever consent to such barbarism/experimentation.

/happy and satisfied and besides, my old man is in his 40's, we get it on 2 times a week so long as were both not too tired
//yeah, a kid (read teenager) lives in our house
 
2012-10-23 08:41:27 PM  
Advice For All Women

Q: My fiance still has feelings for his old girlfriends. I'm afraid he
will not be faithful.

A: A man's capacity to love is boundless. It has been proven to increase
with the number of sexual partners. Thus, by having a few other women,
your partner is really increasing his love for you. Best thing to do is to
buy him a nice, expensive present, and cook him a nice meal and don't
mention this aspect of his behavior.

Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.

A: This is perfectly natural behavior, and it should be encouraged. The
man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. Far from
being pleasurable, a night out with the boys is a stressful affair, and to
get back to you is a relief for your partner. Just look back at how
emotional and happy the man is when he returns to his stable home. Best
thing to do is to buy him a nice, expensive present, and cook him a nice
meal and don't mention this aspect of his behavior.

Q: My husband wants to experience three-in-a-bed-sex with me and my
sister.

A: Your husband is clearly devoted to you. He cannot get enough of you, so
he goes for the next best thing, your sister. Far from being an issue,
this will bring all of the family together. Why not get some cousins
involved? If you are still apprehensive, then let him go with your
relatives, buy him a nice, expensive present, and cook him a nice meal and
don't mention this aspect of his behavior.

Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex with him.

A: Do it. Sperm is not only great tasting, but has only 10 calories a
spoonful. It is nutritious and helps you to keep your figure and gives a
great glow to the skin. Interestingly, a man knows this. His offer to you
to perform oral sex with him is totally selfless. Oral sex is extremely
painful for a man. This shows he loves you. Best thing to do is to thank
him, buy him a nice, expensive present, and cook him a nice meal.

Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.

A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with
it, do it in your own time. To help with the family budget you may wish to
video tape yourself while doing this, and to sell it at car-trunk boot
sales. To ease your selfish guilt, buy your man a nice expensive
present, and cook him a delicious meal.


Q: My husband goes straight to sleep after making love, we have no time to
talk.

A: Sex is an extremely difficult task for a man. Afterwards he needs rest.
In fact, the more he loves you, the more hard work his lovemaking is, and
the more rest he needs. Stop putting pressure on him. Buy him a nice,
expensive present, and cook him a nice meal.


Q: My husband's efforts at lovemaking only last 30 seconds.

A: Your husband loves you very much. He is so turned on by you that he
cannot control himself. In fact, the shorter the 'effort' the more he
loves you. Return this love by buying a nice, expensive present, and
cooking him a nice meal.

Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.

A: Foreplay to a man is very hurtful. What it means is that you do not
love your man as much as you should, he has to work a lot to get you in
the mood. Abandon all wishes in this area, and make it up to him by buying
a nice expensive present, and cooking a nice meal.

Q: My husband has never given me an orgasm.

A: The female orgasm is a myth. It is fostered by militant, man-hating
feminists and is a danger to the family unit. Don't mention it gain to him
and show your love to him by buying a nice expensive present. And don't
forget to cook him a delicious meal.
 
2012-10-23 08:44:20 PM  
If I understand Subby correctly, Los Angeles has one collective G-Spot?
 
2012-10-23 09:14:43 PM  

Nick Nostril: Why do so many go in search of lost treasure when the little man in the boat is right there, out in the open?


Because the sensations are completely different, as are the O's that are produced.

Didn't know I even "had" a G-spot until after the divorce.
 
2012-10-23 09:23:39 PM  
For $1200.00 a woman can get herself a nice big butt-hole tattoo.

If a woman has a butt-hole tattoo of her boyfriend's name or husband's name, is that a good thing for the guy or a bad thing?
 
2012-10-23 09:40:38 PM  

Bruxellensis: jst3p: Women can't have orgasms. This is why they like it when we are done quickly.

So my girl isn't a suirter; she's just pissing on me?

Hmmf.
Oh.
Ew.


Yeahm she probably has a bladder problem.
 
2012-10-23 09:48:24 PM  

HellRaisingHoosier: I enjoy cuddling afterwards but my girlfriend is usually passed out snoring in a few minutes.


That's odd. She's usually asking me for seconds . . .
 
2012-10-23 09:55:54 PM  
Insert moistened finger slowly and gently just inside her and turn your finger so the pad of your finger is up toward the top of the vaginal opening inside her. Good.

Now explore the different feelings inside her. You are going to feel a little raise area that feels different, kinda sorta different. Gently rub that area in circles, gently press on it like a doorbell. Then after awhile start doing a finger move like you are signaling someone to come over. It's going to become engorged with wetness and she will respond. Watch her reactions and breathing. Don't be rough and trim your fingernails and wash your hands before starting.

Help her find the spot and help her relax.

You are now prepared to go in, find the G Spot and be Dr Feelgood.

Rock on with your bad selves.

Oh. Try gently licking her while playing with the G Spot...but you might want to tease her to increase the inevitable waves and waves of orgasms.
 
2012-10-23 10:08:08 PM  

yagottabefarkinkiddinme: Insert moistened finger slowly and gently just inside her and turn your finger so the pad of your finger is up toward the top of the vaginal opening inside her. Good.

Now explore the different feelings inside her. You are going to feel a little raise area that feels different, kinda sorta different. Gently rub that area in circles, gently press on it like a doorbell. Then after awhile start doing a finger move like you are signaling someone to come over. It's going to become engorged with wetness and she will respond. Watch her reactions and breathing. Don't be rough and trim your fingernails and wash your hands before starting.

Help her find the spot and help her relax.

You are now prepared to go in, find the G Spot and be Dr Feelgood.

Rock on with your bad selves.

Oh. Try gently licking her while playing with the G Spot...but you might want to tease her to increase the inevitable waves and waves of orgasms.


Finally. Someone with actual, useful advice, and not trolling. Hooray!
 
gja
2012-10-23 10:12:01 PM  

Prevailing Wind: I feel that this is appropriate.

NSF...well anything really.


encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
 
2012-10-23 10:16:15 PM  

Znuh: Because being stabbed in the cooter with a needle into god-knows-what cluster of nerves is the best foreplay, ever.

Next we'll talk about forcible injections into your belly-button.

/nngh


Could be worse--could be abdominal surgery through the belly button :D

Seriously, that's how most abdominal laparoscopic surgery is done--a cut in the belly button, maybe a cut elsewhere along the hair line or groin or wherever, they put the itty-bitty robot-claws in there and fix what needs fixing (whether it's removal of a bit of colon that's gone a bit cancer-y or, well, "fixing" a woman via tubal ligation).

And even then, I can't imagine surgery through the belly button being worse than injections into a Particularly Sensitive Area Of The Naughty Bits, seeing as they at least give you some Very Good Drugs to deal with the former :D
 
2012-10-23 10:17:44 PM  

Harridan: Didn't know I even "had" a G-spot until after the divorce.


Those must have been some alimony payments!

/ba-dom-tish!
 
2012-10-23 10:18:36 PM  

yagottabefarkinkiddinme: Insert moistened finger slowly and gently just inside her and turn your finger so the pad of your finger is up toward the top of the vaginal opening inside her. Good.

Now explore the different feelings inside her. You are going to feel a little raise area that feels different, kinda sorta different. Gently rub that area in circles, gently press on it like a doorbell. Then after awhile start doing a finger move like you are signaling someone to come over. It's going to become engorged with wetness and she will respond. Watch her reactions and breathing. Don't be rough and trim your fingernails and wash your hands before starting.

Help her find the spot and help her relax.

You are now prepared to go in, find the G Spot and be Dr Feelgood.

Rock on with your bad selves.

Oh. Try gently licking her while playing with the G Spot...but you might want to tease her to increase the inevitable waves and waves of orgasms.


And now, explain how I can do it right and have her not decide that she's done for the night. After making me half deaf. Some of us can find it, we just don't know what's in it for us!

I love her more than anything, but she's not quite perfect.
 
2012-10-23 10:23:17 PM  

HellRaisingHoosier: So when it goes away the woman will feel less pleasure? That would stink.

Now, I'm a guy, so I can't say I've ever had a problem of not ... finishing. I can only imagine how frustrating it would be for women to have a guy finish and then roll over and fall asleep. So I can see why some women would like this procedure. Strangely enough, I'm the opposite. I enjoy cuddling afterwards but my girlfriend is usually passed out snoring in a few minutes. :^P


I'm a guy, but I'm in that position. I mean, I do technically "finish" but there is no pleasurable feeling to it. Makes me really depressed reading about how great sex is and how it used to make me feel. It's depressing and frustrating to no end.

/Only 25
 
2012-10-23 10:31:48 PM  

Stibium: I'm a guy, but I'm in that position. I mean, I do technically "finish" but there is no pleasurable feeling to it. Makes me really depressed reading about how great sex is and how it used to make me feel. It's depressing and frustrating to no end.

/Only 25


It occurs to me that everyone being like you is probably some fundamentalist "sex is bad" type's wet dream. So to speak. 

Also, that sucks man. Have to spoken to a doctor?
 
2012-10-23 10:33:53 PM  

GGracie: A needle... down there
*wince*
No thank you. I'll just keep up my quest to find a good man who can find it without the need for injectables


Is that a lovebird? Or a sun conure?

/likes parrots
//our double yellow headed amazon is a bastard
///a sweet bastard sometimes, but he's not bitey, just grouchy
 
2012-10-23 10:39:17 PM  
Lunchtime craze, alright.
 
2012-10-23 10:40:13 PM  

natmar_76: Are any of you ladies having trouble with your g-spot? Allow me to provide my professional services, only half price to FARKers.


farkettes maybe?
 
2012-10-23 10:42:42 PM  

kvinesknows: natmar_76: Are any of you ladies having trouble with your g-spot? Allow me to provide my professional services, only half price to FARKers.

farkettes maybe?


I read it as offering to find your girlfriend's or wife's g-spot. Which is quite enterprising, I think.
 
2012-10-23 10:48:04 PM  
I work cheap and I guarantee results. No questions asked. Money back guarantee.
 
2012-10-23 10:49:03 PM  

Stibium: I'm a guy, but I'm in that position. I mean, I do technically "finish" but there is no pleasurable feeling to it. Makes me really depressed reading about how great sex is and how it used to make me feel. It's depressing and frustrating to no end.

/Only 25


Any chance you're on antidepressants? They'll do that... try a different one, if you are... if not... talk to your doctor, maybe you need one...
 
2012-10-23 11:08:05 PM  

yagottabefarkinkiddinme: Insert moistened finger slowly and gently just inside her and turn your finger so the pad of your finger is up toward the top of the vaginal opening inside her. Good.

Now explore the different feelings inside her. You are going to feel a little raise area that feels different, kinda sorta different. Gently rub that area in circles, gently press on it like a doorbell. Then after awhile start doing a finger move like you are signaling someone to come over. It's going to become engorged with wetness and she will respond. Watch her reactions and breathing. Don't be rough and trim your fingernails and wash your hands before starting.

Help her find the spot and help her relax.

You are now prepared to go in, find the G Spot and be Dr Feelgood.

Rock on with your bad selves.

Oh. Try gently licking her while playing with the G Spot...but you might want to tease her to increase the inevitable waves and waves of orgasms.


Jesus... I'll be in my bunk...
 
2012-10-23 11:16:34 PM  
I dunno about nonexistent; I've known some women where the slightest stroke in the G spot's direction sends them into convulsions, and others where the most ardent massaging barely registers a .05 on the erotic Richter scale.

Every woman's body is different, and it should be your goal as a man to map out the erogenous cartography of each partner. Consider yourself the Magellan of nookie; it definitely pays off.
 
2012-10-23 11:22:32 PM  
It's not like shooting it up with stuff will make more nerves grow there. This seems like it would just make it less sensitive.
 
2012-10-23 11:27:16 PM  

que.guero: [www.intalek.com image 600x480]

/obligatory and likely obscure to anyone who hasn't spent time in NorCal


I've definitely found The Mystery Spot a couple of times. It wasn't that exciting.
 
2012-10-24 02:31:25 AM  
I've had good results with this, especially when accompanied by cunnilingus. I really do enjoy giving head to my sweetie, and over the years have perfected this important skill. I find that kneeling on the floor floor at bedside, with her hips right at the edge of the bed (soft footstools to support her legs), provides good workspace and allows my arm/hand room to maneuver and get the best angle. Once I got the combination right, g-spot, oral clitoral stimulus and roaming left hand, my lady experienced powerful multiple orgasms: eyes rolling back, arched back, deep skin flushes and a deluge of liquid. She said later she was reduced to quivering jello, and spent the rest of the evening cooing in my ear. She took me out to a great Thai restaurant the next evening. She seemed appreciative.

I'm going upstairs now :)
 
2012-10-24 03:37:29 AM  

Prevailing Wind: I feel that this is appropriate.

NSF...well anything really.


Some people in this thread who wonder why the guy did it have not heard of urethra sex...

He doesn`t put it in, he gets put into...

/sorry for my terrible sentence structure, just got up.
 
2012-10-24 05:47:22 AM  

Dirtybird971: MadAzza [TotalFark]


You don't have one, Subby?

Huh. That must be why I have two.

Great parody of Bohemian Rhapsody.


I can't take credit - I'm too lazy to look now, but I'm pretty sure I credited the Farker I stole it from. Eek, maybe I should check to make sure.
 
2012-10-24 09:01:16 AM  
Ashrams
SandMann: G-spot injections?
Why not bloodletting or leeches? They would work just as well.

Now you are talking "Bring me the boreworms"
www.boreworms.com


I think she looks like she could be Mila Cunis's mom. At the very least, she could play her in a the (sure to happen) Flash Gordon re-make.
 
2012-10-24 09:59:11 AM  
FDA approved?
 
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