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(Onion AV Club)   Seventeen songs about awkward sexual encounters. Or, as The AV Club calls it, "Sad Trombone"   (avclub.com) divider line 60
    More: Silly, Flight of the Conchords, Lonely Island, trombones, human beings, Loretta Lynn, Av Club, Randy Newman, Jemaine Clement  
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5561 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 22 Oct 2012 at 11:16 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-10-22 11:21:02 AM
List fails masively without Conway Twitty's "You've Never Been This Far Before" Link
 
2012-10-22 11:26:27 AM
Wow. I am getting old. I only know the David Bowie and Lilly Allen songs. Everything else is off my radar.
 
2012-10-22 11:29:54 AM
At least they weren't about the Rusty Trombone.
 
2012-10-22 11:30:29 AM
No Lola? L-o-l-a Lola?
 
2012-10-22 11:30:38 AM
x1c.xanga.com

Sorry, I was too drunk too fark. 

/At least according to a Kennedy.
 
2012-10-22 11:35:25 AM
Why is Lola not on that list?
 
2012-10-22 11:47:18 AM
Too proggy? No matter: Genesis, "Counting Out Time"...

"Please don't slap me / I'm a red-blooded male, and the book said I could not fail."
 
2012-10-22 11:59:53 AM
A sweet deep cut about impotence, from a prefab band:

"Love is Only Sleeping" -- The Monkees
 
2012-10-22 12:02:59 PM
Oh, and one about a girl who had a one-night stand not being able to get over it.

"Cuddly Toy" -- The Monkees

/You're not the only choo-choo train / that was left out in the rain / the day after Santa came
 
2012-10-22 12:04:41 PM
Mindless Self Indulgence - Get It Up

Lyrics are NSFW, but it's a pretty funny song
 
2012-10-22 12:06:26 PM

Mad_Radhu: At least they weren't about the Rusty Trombone.


No, no, you're thinking of a Rusty Venture.
 
2012-10-22 12:07:21 PM
It's nice to see Richard Thompson get on a list for something.
 
2012-10-22 12:11:18 PM
Counting must not be a strong suit for AV club. Link says 17, page/title says 18.

/Case of the Mondays
 
2012-10-22 12:16:15 PM
No Possum Kingdom?

Also, THIS.
 
2012-10-22 12:16:42 PM
Two minutes in heaven is better than no minutes in heaven
 
2012-10-22 12:18:13 PM
I like this one. NSFW language
 
2012-10-22 12:44:29 PM

downtownkid: List fails masively without Conway Twitty's "You've Never Been This Far Before" Link


/Bum Bum Bum
 
2012-10-22 12:47:52 PM
I figured these two would be on the list:

Lola
Paradise by the Dashboard Light

I would be wrong.

Throw in Medium Pace as missing from the list for good measure
 
2012-10-22 12:56:20 PM
I second the nomination of Too Drunk to Fark by the Dead Kennedys, covered by Camile Delmais in an adorable French accent on the record Nouvelle Vague. Also, another Richard Thompson song, in the same vein as Lola, is called Was She a Woman or a Man, sung on his live release Small Town Romance.
 
2012-10-22 12:59:12 PM

js34603: No Lola? L-o-l-a Lola?

 
2012-10-22 01:00:31 PM
Lola isn't about bad sex. So, no, it should not be on the list.
 
2012-10-22 01:07:49 PM

Johnsnownw: Lola isn't about bad sex. So, no, it should not be on the list.


The article isn't about bad sex, it's about awkward sex. While finding an unexpected peener may be cool with you, the rest of us would find it awkward.
 
2012-10-22 01:13:51 PM

jungleroy59: I second the nomination of Too Drunk to Fark by the Dead Kennedys, covered by Camile Delmais in an adorable French accent on the record Nouvelle Vague. Also, another Richard Thompson song, in the same vein as Lola, is called Was She a Woman or a Man, sung on his live release Small Town Romance.


or 'dancing with a man' by rodney carrington.
 
2012-10-22 01:14:12 PM
making my ex a Mix tape CD right now. . .
 
2012-10-22 01:15:35 PM
Could use Led Zeppelin's Royal Orleans.

/Whiskers!
 
2012-10-22 01:16:36 PM

jungleroy59: I second the nomination of Too Drunk to Fark by the Dead Kennedys, covered by Camile Delmais in an adorable French accent on the record Nouvelle Vague. Also, another Richard Thompson song, in the same vein as Lola, is called Was She a Woman or a Man, sung on his live release Small Town Romance.


Thread winnar.

List, as usual, sucks donkey balls.
 
2012-10-22 01:18:41 PM
 
2012-10-22 01:22:16 PM

downtownkid: Johnsnownw: Lola isn't about bad sex. So, no, it should not be on the list.

The article isn't about bad sex, it's about awkward sex. While finding an unexpected peener may be cool with you, the rest of us would find it awkward.


You're right, I fixated on the "Sad Trombone" remark.
 
2012-10-22 01:26:50 PM
Band of Gold?
 
2012-10-22 01:34:55 PM
What about "We Don't Have To Take Our Clothes Off" by Jermaine Stewart?

Bonus: David Fincher directed the video.
 
2012-10-22 01:35:52 PM
I always thought "Heaven's Just a Sin Away" by the The Kendalls was awkward.
Daughter and Dad singing a cheatin' song.

nttawwt
 
2012-10-22 01:41:08 PM
LowbrowDeluxe: Mad_Radhu: At least they weren't about the Rusty Trombone.

No, no, you're thinking of a Rusty Venture.


What you do is you take a scuba snorkel and you put your dick in the wee bendy mouth part, you sneak right up your back address, Kay? Then you just grab the middle of that snorkel and you're farking your own ass and pulling off your crank at the self-same time.
 
2012-10-22 01:53:57 PM
What, no Stinkfist?
 
2012-10-22 02:00:16 PM

downtownkid: Johnsnownw: Lola isn't about bad sex. So, no, it should not be on the list.

The article isn't about bad sex, it's about awkward sex. While finding an unexpected peener may be cool with you, the rest of us would find it awkward.


4.bp.blogspot.com

"yep, that's a peener."
 
2012-10-22 02:06:19 PM
Life In The Fast Lane -- Eagles

Eager for action, hot for the game
The coming attraction, the drop of a name
They knew all the right people, they took all the right pills
They threw outrageous parties, they paid heavily bills

There were lines on the mirror, lines on her face
She pretended not to notice, she was caught up in the race
Out every evening until it was light
He was too tired to make it, she was too tired to fight about it
 
2012-10-22 02:21:27 PM
We're going to make several mixtapes worth of songs of unsatisfying romps.
/I'm the first to mention Clockwatching by Jason Mraz?
 
2012-10-22 02:22:22 PM

hubcity: Too proggy? No matter: Genesis, "Counting Out Time"...

"Please don't slap me / I'm a red-blooded male, and the book said I could not fail."


I came for this and am leaving more satisfied than Rael's girl.
 
2012-10-22 03:00:45 PM
Since the Tull's been getting so much mention lately - Hunting Girl



One day I walked the road and crossed a field
To go by where the hounds ran hard.
And on the master raced: behind the hunters chased
To where the path was barred.
One fine young lady's horse refused the fence to clear.
I unlocked the gate but she did wait until the pack had disappeared.

Crop handle carved in bone;
Sat high upon a throne of finest English leather.
The queen of all the pack,
This joker raised his hat and talked about the weather.
All should be warned about this high born Hunting Girl.
She took this simple man's downfall in hand;
I raised the flag that she unfurled.

Boot leather flashing and spurnecks the size of my thumb.
This highborn hunter had tastes as strange as they come.
Unbridled passion: I took the bit in my teeth.
Her standing over --- me on my knees underneath.

My lady, be discrete.
I must get to my feet and go back to the farm.
Whilst I appreciate you are no deviate,
I might come to some harm.
I'm not inclined to acts refined, if that's how it goes.
Oh, high born Hunting Girl,
I'm just a normal low born so and so.
 

At work, can't search video. Meh.
 
2012-10-22 03:11:58 PM
I'll stand up for my man Joe Pernice and offer his magnum opus "Grudge F***" (the asterisks are his). As originally done by his alt-country outfit Scud Mountain Boys.
 
2012-10-22 03:13:12 PM
 
2012-10-22 03:21:41 PM
RT's Rumour and Sigh is one of the greatest albums ever
 
2012-10-22 03:23:18 PM
They picked the wrong Elvis Costello song.

Well I remember when the lights went out
and I was tryin' to make it look like it was never in doubt.
She thought that I knew, and I thought that she knew,
so both of us were willing, but we didn't know how to do it.
 
2012-10-22 03:38:05 PM
Amazing Rhythm Aces :Link
 
2012-10-22 04:01:03 PM
Consolidated - You Suck
 
2012-10-22 04:10:36 PM
Half a dozen provocative squats
Out of the shower she squeezes her spots
Brushes her teeth
Shoots the deodorant spray up her tw-t
It's getting her
Getting her hot

She's just twenty-four and she can't get off
A sad but typical case, yeah
Last dude to do her got in and got soft
She blew it and laughed in his face, yeah
Face, yeah
Yeah
 
2012-10-22 04:12:03 PM

poot_rootbeer: Half a dozen provocative squats
Out of the shower she squeezes her spots
Brushes her teeth
Shoots the deodorant spray up her tw-t
It's getting her
Getting her hot

She's just twenty-four and she can't get off
A sad but typical case, yeah
Last dude to do her got in and got soft
She blew it and laughed in his face, yeah
Face, yeah
Yeah



for some reason i read this and it went to the tune of 'going the distance' by cake.
 
2012-10-22 04:19:21 PM

JerseyTim: What about "We Don't Have To Take Our Clothes Off" by Jermaine Stewart?

Bonus: David Fincher directed the video.


Bonus Bonus: Jermaine Stewart died of AIDS 9 years after that song was released.
 
2012-10-22 04:21:53 PM
 
2012-10-22 04:22:23 PM
sigh...
http://www.avclub.com/articles/sad-trombone-17-songs-about-awkward-se x ual-encount,87683/

Sad trombone: 18 songs about awkward sexual encounters

I'm not sure if I'm more dissapoint in subby or the AV club.
 
2012-10-22 07:44:57 PM
Oh what a niiiiight/Late December 1963....
 
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