FARK.com: (7394429) Seventeen songs about awkward sexual encounters. Or, as The AV Club calls it, "Sad Trombone"

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		Seventeen songs about awkward sexual encounters. Or, as The AV Club calls it, "Sad Trombone" (avclub.com)		60
		More: Silly, Flight of the Conchords, Lonely Island, trombones, human beings, Loretta Lynn, Av Club, Randy Newman, Jemaine Clement

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5554 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 22 Oct 2012 at 11:16 AM | Favorite | share:

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downtownkid		2012-10-22 11:21:02 AM

List fails masively without Conway Twitty's "You've Never Been This Far Before" Link

ZeroCorpse		2012-10-22 11:26:27 AM

Wow. I am getting old. I only know the David Bowie and Lilly Allen songs. Everything else is off my radar.

Mad_Radhu		2012-10-22 11:29:54 AM

At least they weren't about the Rusty Trombone.

js34603		2012-10-22 11:30:29 AM

No Lola? L-o-l-a Lola?

Gunderson		2012-10-22 11:30:38 AM

Sorry, I was too drunk too fark.

/At least according to a Kennedy.

FloydA		2012-10-22 11:35:25 AM

Why is Lola not on that list?

hubcity		2012-10-22 11:47:18 AM

Too proggy? No matter: Genesis, "Counting Out Time"...

"Please don't slap me / I'm a red-blooded male, and the book said I could not fail."

BKITU		2012-10-22 11:59:53 AM

A sweet deep cut about impotence, from a prefab band:

"Love is Only Sleeping" -- The Monkees

BKITU		2012-10-22 12:02:59 PM

Oh, and one about a girl who had a one-night stand not being able to get over it.

"Cuddly Toy" -- The Monkees

/You're not the only choo-choo train / that was left out in the rain / the day after Santa came

The Dogs of War		2012-10-22 12:04:41 PM

Mindless Self Indulgence - Get It Up

Lyrics are NSFW, but it's a pretty funny song

LowbrowDeluxe		2012-10-22 12:06:26 PM

Mad_Radhu: At least they weren't about the Rusty Trombone.

No, no, you're thinking of a Rusty Venture.

offacue		2012-10-22 12:07:21 PM

It's nice to see Richard Thompson get on a list for something.

HatMadeOfAss		2012-10-22 12:11:18 PM

Counting must not be a strong suit for AV club. Link says 17, page/title says 18.

/Case of the Mondays

NashMcNash		2012-10-22 12:16:15 PM

No Possum Kingdom?

Also, THIS.

tacos4jesus		2012-10-22 12:16:42 PM

Two minutes in heaven is better than no minutes in heaven

offacue		2012-10-22 12:18:13 PM

I like this one. NSFW language

unyon		2012-10-22 12:44:29 PM

downtownkid: List fails masively without Conway Twitty's "You've Never Been This Far Before" Link

/Bum Bum Bum

HaywoodJablonski		2012-10-22 12:47:52 PM

I figured these two would be on the list:

Lola
Paradise by the Dashboard Light

I would be wrong.

Throw in Medium Pace as missing from the list for good measure

jungleroy59		2012-10-22 12:56:20 PM

I second the nomination of Too Drunk to Fark by the Dead Kennedys, covered by Camile Delmais in an adorable French accent on the record Nouvelle Vague. Also, another Richard Thompson song, in the same vein as Lola, is called Was She a Woman or a Man, sung on his live release Small Town Romance.

barefoot in the head		2012-10-22 12:59:12 PM

js34603: No Lola? L-o-l-a Lola?

Johnsnownw		2012-10-22 01:00:31 PM

Lola isn't about bad sex. So, no, it should not be on the list.

downtownkid		2012-10-22 01:07:49 PM

Johnsnownw: Lola isn't about bad sex. So, no, it should not be on the list.

The article isn't about bad sex, it's about awkward sex. While finding an unexpected peener may be cool with you, the rest of us would find it awkward.

buttery_shame_cave		2012-10-22 01:13:51 PM

jungleroy59: I second the nomination of Too Drunk to Fark by the Dead Kennedys, covered by Camile Delmais in an adorable French accent on the record Nouvelle Vague. Also, another Richard Thompson song, in the same vein as Lola, is called Was She a Woman or a Man, sung on his live release Small Town Romance.

or 'dancing with a man' by rodney carrington.

vudukungfu		2012-10-22 01:14:12 PM

making my ex a Mix tape CD right now. . .

amindtat		2012-10-22 01:15:35 PM

Could use Led Zeppelin's Royal Orleans.

/Whiskers!

vudukungfu		2012-10-22 01:16:36 PM

Snapper Carr		2012-10-22 01:18:41 PM

Erogenous zones I question you

Johnsnownw		2012-10-22 01:22:16 PM

downtownkid: Johnsnownw: Lola isn't about bad sex. So, no, it should not be on the list.

The article isn't about bad sex, it's about awkward sex. While finding an unexpected peener may be cool with you, the rest of us would find it awkward.

You're right, I fixated on the "Sad Trombone" remark.

feanorn		2012-10-22 01:26:50 PM

Band of Gold?

JerseyTim		2012-10-22 01:34:55 PM

What about "We Don't Have To Take Our Clothes Off" by Jermaine Stewart?

Bonus: David Fincher directed the video.

mikey15		2012-10-22 01:35:52 PM

I always thought "Heaven's Just a Sin Away" by the The Kendalls was awkward.
Daughter and Dad singing a cheatin' song.

nttawwt

Oldiron_79		2012-10-22 01:41:08 PM

LowbrowDeluxe: Mad_Radhu: At least they weren't about the Rusty Trombone.

No, no, you're thinking of a Rusty Venture.

What you do is you take a scuba snorkel and you put your dick in the wee bendy mouth part, you sneak right up your back address, Kay? Then you just grab the middle of that snorkel and you're farking your own ass and pulling off your crank at the self-same time.

Talondel		2012-10-22 01:53:57 PM

What, no Stinkfist?

ChiliCon		2012-10-22 02:00:16 PM

"yep, that's a peener."

MAYORBOB		2012-10-22 02:06:19 PM

Life In The Fast Lane -- Eagles

Eager for action, hot for the game
The coming attraction, the drop of a name
They knew all the right people, they took all the right pills
They threw outrageous parties, they paid heavily bills

There were lines on the mirror, lines on her face
She pretended not to notice, she was caught up in the race
Out every evening until it was light
He was too tired to make it, she was too tired to fight about it

Grungehamster		2012-10-22 02:21:27 PM

We're going to make several mixtapes worth of songs of unsatisfying romps.
/I'm the first to mention Clockwatching by Jason Mraz?

KingKauff		2012-10-22 02:22:22 PM

hubcity: Too proggy? No matter: Genesis, "Counting Out Time"...

"Please don't slap me / I'm a red-blooded male, and the book said I could not fail."

I came for this and am leaving more satisfied than Rael's girl.

nocturn		2012-10-22 03:00:45 PM

Since the Tull's been getting so much mention lately - Hunting Girl

One day I walked the road and crossed a field
To go by where the hounds ran hard.
And on the master raced: behind the hunters chased
To where the path was barred.
One fine young lady's horse refused the fence to clear.
I unlocked the gate but she did wait until the pack had disappeared.

Crop handle carved in bone;
Sat high upon a throne of finest English leather.
The queen of all the pack,
This joker raised his hat and talked about the weather.
All should be warned about this high born Hunting Girl.
She took this simple man's downfall in hand;
I raised the flag that she unfurled.

Boot leather flashing and spurnecks the size of my thumb.
This highborn hunter had tastes as strange as they come.
Unbridled passion: I took the bit in my teeth.
Her standing over --- me on my knees underneath.

My lady, be discrete.
I must get to my feet and go back to the farm.
Whilst I appreciate you are no deviate,
I might come to some harm.
I'm not inclined to acts refined, if that's how it goes.
Oh, high born Hunting Girl,
I'm just a normal low born so and so.

At work, can't search video. Meh.

The Third Man		2012-10-22 03:11:58 PM

I'll stand up for my man Joe Pernice and offer his magnum opus "Grudge F***" (the asterisks are his). As originally done by his alt-country outfit Scud Mountain Boys.

SamJohnson2		2012-10-22 03:13:12 PM

Brand New - Sic Transit Gloria...Glory Fades

E_Henry_Thripshaws_Disease		2012-10-22 03:21:41 PM

RT's Rumour and Sigh is one of the greatest albums ever

puckrock2000		2012-10-22 03:23:18 PM

They picked the wrong Elvis Costello song.

Well I remember when the lights went out
and I was tryin' to make it look like it was never in doubt.
She thought that I knew, and I thought that she knew,
so both of us were willing, but we didn't know how to do it.

jso2897		2012-10-22 03:38:05 PM

Amazing Rhythm Aces :Link

djslowdive		2012-10-22 04:01:03 PM

Consolidated - You Suck

poot_rootbeer		2012-10-22 04:10:36 PM

Half a dozen provocative squats
Out of the shower she squeezes her spots
Brushes her teeth
Shoots the deodorant spray up her tw-t
It's getting her
Getting her hot

She's just twenty-four and she can't get off
A sad but typical case, yeah
Last dude to do her got in and got soft
She blew it and laughed in his face, yeah
Face, yeah
Yeah

buttery_shame_cave		2012-10-22 04:12:03 PM

poot_rootbeer: Half a dozen provocative squats
Out of the shower she squeezes her spots
Brushes her teeth
Shoots the deodorant spray up her tw-t
It's getting her
Getting her hot

She's just twenty-four and she can't get off
A sad but typical case, yeah
Last dude to do her got in and got soft
She blew it and laughed in his face, yeah
Face, yeah
Yeah

for some reason i read this and it went to the tune of 'going the distance' by cake.

Bag of Hammers		2012-10-22 04:19:21 PM

JerseyTim: What about "We Don't Have To Take Our Clothes Off" by Jermaine Stewart?

Bonus: David Fincher directed the video.

Bonus Bonus: Jermaine Stewart died of AIDS 9 years after that song was released.

Bag of Hammers		2012-10-22 04:21:53 PM

Mine

Uchiha_Cycliste		2012-10-22 04:22:23 PM

sigh...
http://www.avclub.com/articles/sad-trombone-17-songs-about-awkward-se x ual-encount,87683/

Sad trombone: 18 songs about awkward sexual encounters

I'm not sure if I'm more dissapoint in subby or the AV club.