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(Daily Mail)   Housewife claims she spent five years being raised by monkeys in Colombian jungle after kidnapping   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 55
    More: Strange, Colombian, capuchin monkeys, Bo Derek, October Surprise, Ghosts of War, Tarzan, countesses, Yorkshire  
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10946 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Oct 2012 at 6:46 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-10-21 04:30:59 PM
And conveniently, she's working with a publisher to cash-in on her story.

memecrunch.com
 
2012-10-21 04:56:38 PM
Goddammit! Now I have Morris Day running through my head.Thanksalot subby.
 
2012-10-21 05:19:38 PM
So that's what happens when your music career drys up.
 
2012-10-21 05:29:59 PM

doglover: So that's what happens when your music career drys up.


Your a teacher?
 
2012-10-21 05:31:04 PM

AbbeySomeone: Goddammit! Now I have Morris Day running through my head.Thanksalot subby.


Oh-wee-oh-wee-oh!
 
2012-10-21 06:32:27 PM

AbbeySomeone: Goddammit! Now I have Morris Day running through my head.Thanksalot subby.


I is a moran. Pls explane.
 
2012-10-21 06:33:34 PM
upload.wikimedia.org

Amazing that she survived.
 
2012-10-21 06:52:25 PM

cman: AbbeySomeone: Goddammit! Now I have Morris Day running through my head.Thanksalot subby.

I is a moran. Pls explane.


Jungle Love
 
2012-10-21 06:53:44 PM
dnrtfa, but was her name Candace?

th06.deviantart.net 

geekalabama.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-10-21 06:56:27 PM
 
2012-10-21 06:57:54 PM
fta Chapman's life in the jungle was said to have ended when she was discovered by hunters and sold to a brothel in the northern city of Cucuta, where she was regularly beaten.

They pay to beat their women? Or is 'beaten' the new word for sexy times.
 
2012-10-21 07:00:33 PM

cman: AbbeySomeone: Goddammit! Now I have Morris Day running through my head.Thanksalot subby.

I is a moran. Pls explane.


I think I'd rather show ya.
[show ya]
 
2012-10-21 07:01:02 PM
... and this would be different from being adopted by a family in Penn Hills PA in what way?....
 
2012-10-21 07:02:31 PM

fusillade762: cman: AbbeySomeone: Goddammit! Now I have Morris Day running through my head.Thanksalot subby.

I is a moran. Pls explane.

Jungle Love


cman

If I weren't so lazy I'd link the vid from Jay and Silent Bob.
 
2012-10-21 07:03:11 PM
Apparently, there are experts on feral children.

They say never approach a feral child in the wild, because rabies. And DO NOT FEED THEM, because once you do, they will never leave you alone.

Hogwash,I say. I do a little catch-and-release, to put little bells around their necks, so they can't get they songbirds. And trust me, if there are enough songbirds around, you can't really hear them crying under the porch.
 
2012-10-21 07:03:20 PM
I was adopted and raised by a family of bacteria.
 
2012-10-21 07:05:03 PM

AbbeySomeone: fusillade762: cman: AbbeySomeone: Goddammit! Now I have Morris Day running through my head.Thanksalot subby.

I is a moran. Pls explane.

Jungle Love

cman

If I weren't so lazy I'd link the vid from Jay and Silent Bob.


Contains Naughty Words- NSFWee-oh-wee-oh
 
2012-10-21 07:07:28 PM
Why is my b/s detector suddenly ringing off the hook?
 
2012-10-21 07:07:34 PM
"so they can't get they songbirds"

Trust me, that was intentional. It's feral grammar, and it's the only thing they understand.
 
2012-10-21 07:08:40 PM

Gyrfalcon: Why is my b/s detector suddenly ringing off the hook?


Because you're smart and this story is obviously BS.
 
2012-10-21 07:09:16 PM
For five years, she lived a Tarzan-style existence with a colony of Capuchin monkeys - learning to catch prey, including birds and rabbits, with nothing but her bare hands.

I believe this story.

Every last word of it.
 
2012-10-21 07:10:34 PM

FloydA: cman: AbbeySomeone: Goddammit! Now I have Morris Day running through my head.Thanksalot subby.

I is a moran. Pls explane.

I think I'd rather show ya.
[show ya]


I'd be remiss if I didn't introduce this possibility as well -  userserve-ak.last.fm 

/ungh
/dnrtfa
 
2012-10-21 07:15:04 PM
FTFA:
She lived a Tarzan-style existence with a colony of Capuchin monkeys - learning to catch prey with her bare hands

Let's see it.
 
2012-10-21 07:27:10 PM
www.monkeywoman.com

FAKE
 
2012-10-21 07:41:37 PM
I find it much more likely that she lived in her mind for a few years. Brain does funny things to escape pain.
 
2012-10-21 07:46:50 PM
www.dumpaday.com
 
2012-10-21 07:52:50 PM

bump: ... and this would be different from being adopted by a family in Penn Hills PA in what way?....


Capuchin monkeys have better grooming habits.
 
2012-10-21 07:54:15 PM
5 years without toilet paper. i wonder if she still has inflamed monkey butt.

/don't really care. i don't really have a hemorrhoid fetish. i don't.
 
2012-10-21 07:54:53 PM
Oh, how I wish I could be kidnapped for ransom and then kept by monkeys for 5 years. It would fulfill all my prepubescent fantasies.
 
2012-10-21 07:55:39 PM

FloydA: AbbeySomeone: Goddammit! Now I have Morris Day running through my head.Thanksalot subby.

Oh-wee-oh-wee-oh!


WATCH OUT FOR THAT TREEEEE!!
 
2012-10-21 08:03:28 PM
To be fair, if I had to live in Bradford anymore, I would also invent a complete fantasy world to shut out the bleak reality of the place.
 
2012-10-21 08:03:33 PM

AbbeySomeone: doglover: So that's what happens when your music career drys up.

Your a teacher?


I see what you did their.
 
2012-10-21 08:11:10 PM

LeroyBourne: fta Chapman's life in the jungle was said to have ended when she was discovered by hunters and sold to a brothel in the northern city of Cucuta, where she was regularly beaten.

They pay to beat their women? Or is 'beaten' the new word for sexy times.


Maybe her vagina was beaten with a penis.
 
2012-10-21 08:21:36 PM
So eating raw birds and rabbits didn't make her sick. Just berries.
 
2012-10-21 08:22:47 PM
Was she kidnapped by Puff Bronfman? To be fair, he did consider himself an ape not a monkey.
 
2012-10-21 08:23:18 PM

AbbeySomeone: doglover: So that's what happens when your music career drys up.

Your a teacher?


I hope you're not one, too. 

/or were you making a funny?
 
2012-10-21 08:27:41 PM
The monkeys were probably wondering why this thing couldn't STFU.
 
2012-10-21 08:31:34 PM
Was monkey spanking involved?
 
2012-10-21 08:39:36 PM

AbbeySomeone: doglover: So that's what happens when your music career drys up.

Your a teacher?


He's more of a bearioteer
 
2012-10-21 08:40:07 PM
thats nothing. i was raised bya band of angry tapirs!
 
2012-10-21 09:01:53 PM
i1182.photobucket.com
 
2012-10-21 09:07:31 PM
www.nonsolokawaii.com
 
2012-10-21 09:28:48 PM

porterm: thats nothing. i was raised bya band of angry tapirs!


Luxury.
 
2012-10-21 09:58:00 PM
I was raised by a group of bonobos in the wild. This has given me Tarzan-like abilities, however some of the unfortunate side effects means that I am no longer allowed alone with females under the age of 78, females over the age of 78 accompanied by females under the age of 78,and classical artwork including but not limited to paintings, sculpture, mosaics and glasswork depicting nude female figures unless said artwork is by Picasso in which case it is presumed to be suitably repulsive.
I stood a fair chance of having some of those restrictions removed in court when that biatch of a judge walked in and "accidentally" leaned over to pick up a pen and placed herself into a position she should have known was an invitation to initiate coitus to lower stresses in a tense environment.
 
2012-10-21 10:19:51 PM
I want to hear about the guy who was raised by hedgehogs on the hard shoulder of the m6
 
2012-10-21 10:22:37 PM
I guess you could consider her to be a monkey wench...
 
2012-10-21 10:45:11 PM

El Supe: monkey wench...


Zing!
 
2012-10-21 10:55:06 PM
FARC?
 
2012-10-21 11:09:24 PM
Unavailable for comment:

25.media.tumblr.com

/fap
 
2012-10-21 11:33:02 PM

Chimperror2: FARC?


They wouldn't take her.

Would you?
 
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