Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Northwest News (Seattle))   13 year old has NO IDEA how his Mountain Dew bottle got filled with whiskey. Sounds legit, let's sue   (nwcn.com) divider line 107
    More: Unlikely, Mountain Dew  
•       •       •

12331 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Oct 2012 at 3:33 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



107 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-10-21 01:01:35 PM  
The family plans to stop buying Mountain Dew.

Are you crazy? Do you have any idea how much you'll save on whiskey?
 
2012-10-21 01:28:07 PM  
Um, mom, here's what happened. Your 13 year old son poured out the soda and replaced it with the whiskey somewhere, probably from your own liquor cabinet. There was no whiskey in the Mountain Dew bottle when you bought it. Your kid, being a 13 year old suburban boy, wanted to drink whiskey in order to get wasted and feel like a grown up, and he wanted to do it in front of you, so that he could feel like he was putting one over on you, because that's what teenagers do. Most teenage boys try that trick at least once. Then when he took a swig, he choked on it because it's whiskey, not Mountain Dew, and you saw him choke, so he realized the jig was up, and rather than admitting it, he blamed the store. Pepsi was nice enough to offer you a coupon, but they know what happened just as well as I do. If you really think that Safeway or PepsiCo. is putting whiskey in Mountain Dew bottles, you're incredibly naive.
 
2012-10-21 01:42:24 PM  
His parents say the bottle was sealed and looked legit. "Except for the color it looks like a fully functional Mountain Dew,

Who talks like this?
 
Pud
2012-10-21 01:47:28 PM  

impaler: His parents say the bottle was sealed and looked legit. "Except for the color it looks like a fully functional Mountain Dew,

Who talks like this?


I would guess someone looking for an out of court payday.
 
2012-10-21 01:50:35 PM  
Uh huh.
 
2012-10-21 01:55:30 PM  
He should use it to wash down some Wendy's chili.
 
2012-10-21 01:56:47 PM  
"Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave, when first they think their children naive." 

/ paraphrased nash
 
2012-10-21 02:20:33 PM  
Shoreline.

Land of low-tax fanatics who flood comment forums with right wing derp, but who are first in line to suck the benefits of living next to a big city.

Unsurprising responsibility for who did the Dew / Whiskey trick means suing everyone in sight.

One of the towns stalwart residents once sued the city of Seattle over imagined voter irregularities, and leeched enough from them in a settlement to fund his right wing blog. Great little scam, accuse the government of fraud, then collect. Then he got caught not tipping a waittress and biatching at her manager to get her fired.

He's not the only one. There's been a few high profile shoreline wingnuts over the years. Mike the Mover would be one. At least he's amusing. And not getting waitresses fired over imagined personal slights.
 
2012-10-21 02:49:02 PM  
My uncle Nort,he's sawed off and short
He measures about four foot two
But he thinks he's a giant when you give him a pint
Of that good old mountain dew


They call it that mountain dew
And them that refuse it are few
You may go 'round the bend
But you'll come back again
For that good old mountain dew
 
2012-10-21 03:07:43 PM  
The comments are amazingly retarded, and have nothing to do with the story.
 
2012-10-21 03:07:43 PM  

FloydA: Um, mom, here's what happened. Your 13 year old son poured out the soda and replaced it with the whiskey somewhere, probably from your own liquor cabinet. There was no whiskey in the Mountain Dew bottle when you bought it. Your kid, being a 13 year old suburban boy, wanted to drink whiskey in order to get wasted and feel like a grown up, and he wanted to do it in front of you, so that he could feel like he was putting one over on you, because that's what teenagers do. Most teenage boys try that trick at least once. Then when he took a swig, he choked on it because it's whiskey, not Mountain Dew, and you saw him choke, so he realized the jig was up, and rather than admitting it, he blamed the store. Pepsi was nice enough to offer you a coupon, but they know what happened just as well as I do. If you really think that Safeway or PepsiCo. is putting whiskey in Mountain Dew bottles, you're incredibly naive.


Sounds about right.

I can remember when I was 12, I woke up one weekend morning before anyone else and went to get something to drink from the fridge. I found a large container or what I thought was Kool-Aid and poured myself a glass. Turns out my parents mixed up some punch and vodka and put it in the fridge to chill...and didn't bother to tell anyone else in the house.

I got about half a glass down before my mom walked in. I told her the Kool-Aid flavor was a little weird. She just laughed, said it had vodka in it and to quit drinking it.
 
2012-10-21 03:14:39 PM  
media-cache0.pinterest.com
 
2012-10-21 03:18:03 PM  

Generation_D: Shoreline.

Land of low-tax fanatics who flood comment forums with right wing derp, but who are first in line to suck the benefits of living next to a big city.

Unsurprising responsibility for who did the Dew / Whiskey trick means suing everyone in sight.

One of the towns stalwart residents once sued the city of Seattle over imagined voter irregularities, and leeched enough from them in a settlement to fund his right wing blog. Great little scam, accuse the government of fraud, then collect. Then he got caught not tipping a waittress and biatching at her manager to get her fired.

He's not the only one. There's been a few high profile shoreline wingnuts over the years. Mike the Mover would be one. At least he's amusing. And not getting waitresses fired over imagined personal slights.


That's, like, your opinion, man.
 
2012-10-21 03:22:52 PM  

Generation_D: Shoreline.


i105.photobucket.com
 
2012-10-21 03:35:19 PM  

InspectorZero: Generation_D: Shoreline.

Land of low-tax fanatics who flood comment forums with right wing derp, but who are first in line to suck the benefits of living next to a big city.

Unsurprising responsibility for who did the Dew / Whiskey trick means suing everyone in sight.

One of the towns stalwart residents once sued the city of Seattle over imagined voter irregularities, and leeched enough from them in a settlement to fund his right wing blog. Great little scam, accuse the government of fraud, then collect. Then he got caught not tipping a waittress and biatching at her manager to get her fired.

He's not the only one. There's been a few high profile shoreline wingnuts over the years. Mike the Mover would be one. At least he's amusing. And not getting waitresses fired over imagined personal slights.

That's, like, your opinion, man.


North City Tavern.
 
2012-10-21 03:39:27 PM  

Sgt Otter: The comments are amazingly retarded, and have nothing to do with the story.


Came here to say this. The amount of derp in the comments is staggering.
 
2012-10-21 03:42:29 PM  
Whiskey is brown. Mountain Dew is green. How the farking heck do you mess that up? I hope this boy turns into a raging alcoholic just for being such a massive tool.
 
GBB
2012-10-21 03:42:47 PM  
That's what we call Hillbilly Dew.
 
2012-10-21 03:43:38 PM  

MrKoon: Sgt Otter: The comments are amazingly retarded, and have nothing to do with the story.

Came here to say this. The amount of derp in the comments is staggering.


Looks like every story on the site shares the same comments. Brilliant!
 
2012-10-21 03:44:12 PM  
The whiskey is probably better for him.
 
2012-10-21 03:45:30 PM  

MrKoon: Sgt Otter: The comments are amazingly retarded, and have nothing to do with the story.

Came here to say this. The amount of derp in the comments is staggering.


I was trying to figure out what you two were on about because no-script filtered out the comments. Opened TFA in Chrome and WOW, just WOW. So entertaining.
 
2012-10-21 03:46:38 PM  
His mother said her son drank at least a shot. Grant is furious. She claims she's only getting the run around from both Pepsi and the store where she bought it.

That's because they don't bottle whisky at a Pepsi plant that bottles farking Mountain Dew. Also, the distributors wouldn't be the same, so there's no legitimate way this "accidentally" happened, and someone going to the trouble(and expense) of setting something like this up is pretty far-fetched, too...

This kid poured the stuff in his Mountain Dew bottle and panicked when Mom walked in the room right as he was taking a drink, decided to make a big deal in case she smelled it or asked for a swig herself.

"It tasted a little bitter. It didn't taste like Mountain Dew at all," he said.

Because that's EXACTLY the flavor difference between Mountain Dew and whisky, "a little bitter"...
 
2012-10-21 03:47:45 PM  
FTFA: Except for the color it looks like a fully functional Mountain Dew

Que???????

2.bp.blogspot.com
????
 
2012-10-21 03:48:37 PM  
vreaa.files.wordpress.com

Shares the kids pain.

/12 Elsin.....no, no, 24 Elsinore and I do believe there will be no charge for that....
 
2012-10-21 03:49:29 PM  
These have to be the most gullible parents in the world. ..
 
2012-10-21 03:49:41 PM  
So THAT'S why Honey Boo Boo is so screwed up.
 
2012-10-21 03:52:55 PM  
When I was 13, my parents bought me a new bed. Somehow, this bed had a bunch of porn mags stuffed between the mattress and box spring. I have "no idea" how they got there...
 
2012-10-21 04:00:40 PM  

Generation_D: Great little scam, accuse the government of fraud, then collect. Then he got caught not tipping a waittress and biatching at her manager to get her fired.


Keep in mind that waitresses here get their full minimum wage. In some states*, the minimum wage for those who receive tips (like waitresses) is half of the posted minimum wage. Someone stiffing a waitress for tips in WA isn't as much of a scrooge as stiffing the tip in Idaho.

Say, $20 in tips per hour goes a lot further in WA.

*It's called a "tip credit." State-by-state info. From my quick scroll, most states do this. A "tipped worker" only has to make $30 or so in tips per-month to qualify.



/just saying, not meant to be political.
 
2012-10-21 04:01:50 PM  
"The family plans to stop buying Mountain Dew."


Problem solved

imageshack.us
 
2012-10-21 04:05:04 PM  
Wow, this takes the idea that 'He's my son, so he couldn't possibly do any wrong, someone else is to blame' stupidity and cranks it straight to 11.

If Mountain Dews were bottled like McDonalds hamburgers are packaged, you might have a leg to stand on. But since it's bottled in an assembly line and what goes into one bottle is what goes into the bottles before and after it, and no other bottles have been reported to have whiskey in them, your son didn't buy a bad bottle, you refuse to admit your son willingly put whiskey into his soda. And if you start blaming others for your son's choices, then you are just as responsible as he is when he finally kills himself in a drug over dose, or worse yet, gets drunk at 16 drives and kills someone else because you'd rather accept his lies and excuses instead of facing the reality that you son is lying to you.
 
2012-10-21 04:05:21 PM  
I'm a big Mountain Dew fan. Where did he buy it from?

/also, the people who posted comments on the site had too much Mountain Dew
 
2012-10-21 04:09:24 PM  

Snapper Carr: "The family plans to stop buying Mountain Dew."


Problem solved


Yeah, they should start buying Dasani spring water, although I've heard they put vodka in it.
 
2012-10-21 04:10:03 PM  
It would be interesting if Pepsi invited mom and dad to visit a bottleing plant, and ask them to figure out how someone would manage to put some whiskey in one bottle in the middle of the run, and seal it.

I wonder if it is the same brand of whiskey that's in that watered down bottle in the cupboard?
 
2012-10-21 04:11:54 PM  
This one's easy.

First, live a privileged life filled with 400K cars (w/o OnStar), drive back from an exhausting polo tournament
Almost kill a kid in a drunken crash then leave him to drown in a ditch
Then "walk to a barn and find some mt. dew", decry anguish in the most painfully plastic and transparent manner
Wait for the guilty verdict, appeal, then use 'new daughter's' money to buy freedom once issue slips from merica's view

/profit
 
2012-10-21 04:12:07 PM  

KStDrew: also, the people who posted comments on the site had too much Mountain Dew


I'm thinking they've had a few cans of this:

i.imgur.com
 
2012-10-21 04:12:25 PM  

Mikey1969:

Because that's EXACTLY the flavor difference between Mountain Dew and whisky, "a little bitter"...


Maybe his taste buds are burnt out from years of drinking whiskey.

I'm 34 and I only very recently have been able to drink whiskey straight without involuntarily gagging. I've been trying for something like 10-12 years.

Yes, anecdote is not data, etc, but you don't accidentally drink something 80 proof, especially if it's a new experience, without a stronger reaction than "It's a bit bitter."
 
2012-10-21 04:13:42 PM  
the comments are for a diffrent story dates feb.-march
 
2012-10-21 04:14:41 PM  

Mister Peejay: Mikey1969:

Because that's EXACTLY the flavor difference between Mountain Dew and whisky, "a little bitter"...

Maybe his taste buds are burnt out from years of drinking whiskey.

I'm 34 and I only very recently have been able to drink whiskey straight without involuntarily gagging. I've been trying for something like 10-12 years.

Yes, anecdote is not data, etc, but you don't accidentally drink something 80 proof, especially if it's a new experience, without a stronger reaction than "It's a bit bitter."


This. I'm 36 and just recently found a Bourbon I enjoy. This kid is full of sh*t.
 
2012-10-21 04:15:16 PM  

styckx: These have to be the most gullible parents in the world. ..


Exactly.

Who is going to buy a brown Mountain Dew in the first place? That's a sign of something major being wrong.

The kid's story would be slightly plausible if it were a Coke or Pepsi bottle being used. Hell, Mommy probably wouldn't have caught him if he had used a Coke or Pepsi bottle. But brown liquid in a Mountain Dew bottle?

Kid is retarded, mommy is gullible and retarded, everyone involved deserves a flogging for being stupid.
 
2012-10-21 04:19:00 PM  
biatch needs to be beat with a football bat
 
2012-10-21 04:22:07 PM  

bump: First, live a privileged life filled with 400K cars (w/o OnStar),


You overpaid for your Cadillac.
 
2012-10-21 04:22:48 PM  
I used to work for Pepsi execs who told me about similar claims that happened over a decade ago, so I'm getting a kick...

Seriously, the kid's lying.
 
2012-10-21 04:22:55 PM  
Woah, hold on now. I expected something wholesome like Mt Dew and got a poison like whiskey instead? I need my childruns to grow up strong, they can't get strong without that thar Dew and Mac and Cheese. Gonna stop buying it if it's only full of poison instead of delicious dew.
 
2012-10-21 04:23:50 PM  
I want to know if this woman has been on a cruise recently or been to some sort of festival or something like that, because filling soda or water bottles with alcohol is a great way to smuggle in said alcohol where it is banned or where it is extremely expensive. And it is very easy to do it and make it look like the bottles are still sealed.
 
2012-10-21 04:27:50 PM  
OK, this is Beyond Farking Impossible for quite a number of reasons:

a) To my knowledge, PepsiCo doesn't even own any distilleries or breweries in ANY of its rather extensive holdings worldwide (the one exception is that they do sell a brand of kvass in Russia, but kvass is close to "3 percent" beer and barely even counts as alcoholic)

b) Even if Pepsico DID own a distillery, they sure as hell will NOT be bottling Mountain Dew and a distilled beverage in the same plant--any product that has high-proof liquor is required (under ATF regulations) to be distilled in specific conditions and under a specific license, and bourbon in particular is generally "bottled in bond"--that is, aged and bottled according to federal regulations and basically showing an entire chain of custody from distillation to warehouse (which itself must be federally bonded and licensed) to bottling.

Even stuff like the old "Jim Beam and Cola" canned premixed stuff you can get in stores is canned in a completely different facility from where they make Pepsi (and usually in a different facility than even the bottling room for bottled alcohol)--suffice it to say this is something the ATF watches distilleries over like a farking hawk. Yes, this means that the larger distilleries that sell stuff like bourbon-added drinks tend to have not only their own bottling facilities but their own canning facilities.

3) As others have helpfully pointed out, bourbon is a dark golden to brown colour, whilst Mountain Dew (in its various colours) ranges from yellow to orange to red to purple, but never something even cola-coloured much less bourbon-coloured.

Seriously, the only way this would be LESS plausible is if they'd supposedly found bourbon in a bottle of Orange Crush; I could see certain moonshines or "Lynchburg Lemonade" being confusable with Mountain Dew (or bourbon with (really, really diluted) cola or even some canned iced teas) before I could see bourbon confusable with Mountain Dew.

What I seriously suspect, and what others have pointed out as plausible--Junior made his own "Amped Mountain Dew" by mixing bourbon with Mountain Dew (which, ironically, was one of the things Mountain Dew was originally marketed as--a bourbon mixer) and got busted by mom, hence ludicrous story. And I hope the court owns their asses for it. (Hell, if I knew what court it was, I'd be prepared to send an amicus curae brief on just how goddamned recockulous the claim is!)
 
2012-10-21 04:29:04 PM  
If you watch the video the kid has a serious shiat eating grin the entire time. He is clearly amazed that his mother and the news media have all fallen for his incredibly stupid excuse.
 
2012-10-21 04:30:16 PM  
This is why I always buy the generic.
 
2012-10-21 04:32:14 PM  

Great Janitor: Wow, this takes the idea that 'He's my son, so he couldn't possibly do any wrong, someone else is to blame' stupidity and cranks it straight to 11.

If Mountain Dews were bottled like McDonalds hamburgers are packaged, you might have a leg to stand on. But since it's bottled in an assembly line and what goes into one bottle is what goes into the bottles before and after it, and no other bottles have been reported to have whiskey in them, your son didn't buy a bad bottle, you refuse to admit your son willingly put whiskey into his soda. And if you start blaming others for your son's choices, then you are just as responsible as he is when he finally kills himself in a drug over dose, or worse yet, gets drunk at 16 drives and kills someone else because you'd rather accept his lies and excuses instead of facing the reality that you son is lying to you.


Wrong. Everyone knows that all soda bottling factories have whiskey lines right next to the water lines, so it is conceivable that someone accidentally turned the wrong valve and the factory used whiskey instead of water.
 
2012-10-21 04:35:46 PM  
I tried to think of a way that this kid's story might maybe hold water. The idjits that work at the store closest to me... well, let's just say I can see one of them getting fired and then tampering with a soda and putting it back on the shelf. If the bottle had been full of piss, I'd think that was what happened. But two things make that scenario not work: first of all, you know when a bottle has been cracked open. There is absolutely no way this happened at the bottling facility. As has been pointed out upthread, it is simply impossible. So the kid would have had to twist the cap and not feel or hear the seal being broken, and then drink the funny colored soda anyway. No one would do this.

Also, were it employee retaliation, it would have been whiskey scented piss in the bottle. Even those morans aren't going to waste whiskey putting it directly into the soda without drinking it first.

Heh heh... Mom, you're both gullible and stupid, and everyone reading this story is laughing at you. And btw, in advance: no one wastes a perfectly good bag of weed putting it in your kid's jacket pocket to get him in trouble because they don't like him.
 
2012-10-21 04:35:55 PM  

KStDrew: Snapper Carr: "The family plans to stop buying Mountain Dew."


Problem solved

Yeah, they should start buying Dasani spring water, although I've heard they put vodka in it.

 

I was about to say, why didnt the little idiot use vodka instead of whiskey? no color, no odor, no taste No problem
 
Displayed 50 of 107 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report