If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(US Army)   D.E.R.P. is an actual military program. (FarkUs because where else would this go?)   (aec.army.mil) divider line 19
    More: Amusing, D.E.R.P., environmental restoration  
•       •       •

1218 clicks; posted to FarkUs » on 21 Oct 2012 at 2:37 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



19 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2012-10-21 11:44:36 AM
When I was stationed in Germany we just called it "maneuver damage".

The German farmers loved it when we tore up their land because the U.S. Government would pay them ridiculously well in compensation.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2012-10-21 11:46:09 AM
Beerguy

Surface damage heals fast. The problem we're having back home is, decades of military practice left lead and other heavy metal contamination in the soil.
 
2012-10-21 11:48:41 AM
Yes and they are aptly named.
 
2012-10-21 11:57:05 AM
My introduction to Army environmental anything was when I got to take a bunch of dead batteries for disposal. Just a giant hole in the ground where it looks like we threw just about everything.
 
2012-10-21 12:31:39 PM
It is amusing that they name their environmental program DERP. Considering that for decades the military's "environmental disposal method" went as follows:

Sgt Jones: "Alright LCpl Smith, I want you and Pvt. Jones to get rid of this truckload of waste oil, contaminated fuel, and cleaning products."
LCpl Smith: "Oohrah Sergeant, where do you want us to take it?"
Sgt. Jones: "Just take it out to the empty field behind battalion headquarters and dump it. Make sure it soaks in and doesn't leave a nasty puddle"
LCpl Smith: "Roger that Sergeant"
Sgt. Jones: "Remember, that's some nasty shait, so try not to get any on your uniform, because it'll stain, and I'll have your ass. And don't smoke while you're dumping it."
LCpl Smith: "No problem Sergeant."
Sgt. Jones: "And while you're at it, we have an GI inspection next week, and our numbers don't match. Take these cases of lead acid batteries and go dump them in the lake so we don't get busted for having them."
 
2012-10-21 02:34:16 PM
DERP was formally established by Congress in 1986

Really? I thought it was formally established earlier in Reagan's term.
 
2012-10-21 02:57:49 PM
All of the above is sadly true.
 
2012-10-21 03:18:46 PM

devildog123: It is amusing that they name their environmental program DERP. Considering that for decades the military's "environmental disposal method" went as follows:

Yup.

They disposed of unused munitions the same way.

/But today...oh gods, just TRY to be the private contractor who says he'll take those wastes for proper disposal.
 
2012-10-21 05:05:48 PM

Ishidan: devildog123: It is amusing that they name their environmental program DERP. Considering that for decades the military's "environmental disposal method" went as follows:
Yup.

They disposed of unused munitions the same way.


If it wasn't the ocean it was the woods. I remember a forest fire in Storm King State Park near West Point in New York back in 1999. The firefighters there found out about the disposed munitions the moderately hard way (no one was killed, thank goodness).
 
2012-10-21 09:18:21 PM
Years ago while working at a government contractor, I saw a number for the "DISCO Helpline."

Imagine my disappointment when I found it meant "Defense Industrial Security Clearance Office."
 
2012-10-21 10:11:15 PM
Show some respect, they're the only ones keeping us safe from the commies of WARRGABBLE
 
2012-10-21 10:42:16 PM
While attending a family celebration welcoming my nephew home from the military we were tossing the bull about this and that. I happened to throw out "fap" in a sentence and my nephew lost his mind to hear his fat old uncle using internet jargon. Then he took out his smartphone and showed me a pic of a Directory in a military building telling visitors who was on what floor. The abbreviation FAP was in front of every name on the Directory. Chuckles were had by all.
 
2012-10-21 10:46:33 PM
Ahhh, historical military waste disposal. The consultant's goldmine.
 
2012-10-21 10:55:51 PM
But do they have a patch as awesome as PSS SOF?

sphotos-g.ak.fbcdn.net
 
2012-10-22 02:54:29 AM

j.lunatic: Years ago while working at a government contractor, I saw a number for the "DISCO Helpline."

Imagine my disappointment when I found it meant "Defense Industrial Security Clearance Office."


wiw.org

Aw.
 
2012-10-22 05:20:28 AM
I use D.E.R.P. for those scammers who claim they're "from technical support" trying to help me because my "computer is sending them error messages."

"Hello?"
"Hello, this is technical..."
"This is the Department of Emergency Response Planning, Agent Anderson speaking. Who is your field handler?
"Uhhhh..."
"Sir, are you under duress?"
"Uhhhh..."
"I understand that you are under duress. We've begun a trace. Looks like you're in... I see, we're getting bounces, one, two, three, ok we've got you locked... in northern India. We have a spec ops team in Pakistan that we're mobilizing. Do not leave the facility you are in, we will have a team there in three hours."

They hang up a lot.
 
2012-10-22 08:54:48 AM
I thought that this was going to be another article about Afghanistan.
 
2012-10-22 11:11:56 AM

devildog123: It is amusing that they name their environmental program DERP. Considering that for decades the military's "environmental disposal method" went as follows:

Sgt Jones: "Alright LCpl Smith, I want you and Pvt. Jones to get rid of this truckload of waste oil, contaminated fuel, and cleaning products."
LCpl Smith: "Oohrah Sergeant, where do you want us to take it?"
Sgt. Jones: "Just take it out to the empty field behind battalion headquarters and dump it. Make sure it soaks in and doesn't leave a nasty puddle"
LCpl Smith: "Roger that Sergeant"
Sgt. Jones: "Remember, that's some nasty shait, so try not to get any on your uniform, because it'll stain, and I'll have your ass. And don't smoke while you're dumping it."
LCpl Smith: "No problem Sergeant."
Sgt. Jones: "And while you're at it, we have an GI inspection next week, and our numbers don't match. Take these cases of lead acid batteries and go dump them in the lake so we don't get busted for having them."


That sounds about right. In an Army unit, it would be SPC Smith doing that detail and he'd say "Hooah" instead of "Oohrah," but otherwise you're spot-on.

/former Army
//you sound like a Marine
 
2012-10-23 01:02:00 PM
The Army's Yuma Proving Ground has a "JERC Site" .  I think it was named after my former supervisor.
 
Displayed 19 of 19 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report