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(Illinois State Journal-Register)   College to offer "Reagan 101" class. In Reagan's honor, all homework to be completed on typewriters, as both Reagan and a Selectric had a semi-colon and no memory   (sj-r.com) divider line 44
    More: Interesting, Ronald Reagan, Eureka College, Craig Shirley, best-selling author  
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1087 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Oct 2012 at 11:12 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-10-19 10:34:29 AM
Learn how to sleep for eight years while coping with a moronic spouse.
 
2012-10-19 10:35:36 AM

Cewley: Learn how to sleep for eight years while coping with a moronic spouse.


Laura Bush used Xanax for that.
 
2012-10-19 10:45:06 AM

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: Cewley: Learn how to sleep for eight years while coping with a moronic spouse.

Laura Bush used Xanax for that.


And Betty Ford drank like a fish
 
2012-10-19 10:49:05 AM
FTFA: Best-selling author Craig Shirley will focus on Reagan's presidential campaigns as the college's first Visiting Reagan Scholar. Shirley has written two books about Reagan.

How many times a day do you think this guy gets Surely you can't be serious'd?
 
2012-10-19 10:50:17 AM

mahuika: FTFA: Best-selling author Craig Shirley will focus on Reagan's presidential campaigns as the college's first Visiting Reagan Scholar. Shirley has written two books about Reagan.

How many times a day do you think this guy gets Surely you can't be serious'd?


Frequently

/and don't call me Shirley
 
2012-10-19 10:51:50 AM
If it uses "Drift" as a textbook I won't be able to take this seriously.
 
2012-10-19 10:55:58 AM
The best part is, you don't have to pay tuition - instead they'll send the bill directly to your grandchildren.
 
2012-10-19 11:06:49 AM
Less well known is that Ronnie and Nancy played games in bed well into old age.

Ronnie would fart, and then hold Nancy's head under the covers.
 
2012-10-19 11:09:33 AM
Will Reagan funding the Contras in Nicaragua by having the CIA sell crack to black neighborhoods be in the intro class or will that be in one of the advanced courses?
 
2012-10-19 11:13:29 AM

JerseyTim: Will Reagan funding the Contras in Nicaragua by having the CIA sell crack to black neighborhoods be in the intro class or will that be in one of the advanced courses?


I'm not sure anyone can recall
 
2012-10-19 11:14:26 AM
Bonus points given if you sell a pocketknife to a 7-11 clerk and use the proceeds to buy a taco.
 
2012-10-19 11:16:21 AM

JerseyTim: Will Reagan funding the Contras in Nicaragua by having the CIA sell crack to black neighborhoods be in the intro class or will that be in one of the advanced courses?


*sigh* He did not sell crack to black neighborhoods, he sold cocaine. He was a wholesaler, not a distributor. The primary distributor was Bill Clinton who moved that shiat through rural airports in Arkansas. Still the Crack innovations was all on the street chemist side though.
 
2012-10-19 11:17:12 AM
As long as they keep it in the Religion Dept, I don't mind.
 
Biv
2012-10-19 11:18:21 AM
As a big fan of the Reagan, +1 to subby.
 
2012-10-19 11:21:32 AM

mahuika: FTFA: Best-selling author Craig Shirley will focus on Reagan's presidential campaigns as the college's first Visiting Reagan Scholar. Shirley has written two books about Reagan.

How many times a day do you think this guy gets Surely you can't be serious'd?


It's a joke which plays on the fact that the words "Surely" and "Shirley" sound the same, but that's not important now
 
2012-10-19 11:24:38 AM
Hopefully the class will shed light on the stark difference between The Tale Of Saint Reagan and the facts about his tenure as POTUS.

1) Distribute flyers to conservative fraternities
2) Get young republicans to sign up in droves
3) Prepare bulldozer to clean classroom of head explosion remains
 
2012-10-19 11:27:29 AM
And both despised Dvorak (aka Ivan). 

change-production.s3.amazonaws.com
 
2012-10-19 11:28:42 AM
The best part will be the day the professor is out and they just roll in the TV and watch the "Land of Confusion" video.
 
2012-10-19 11:32:28 AM
Finally a retrospective analysis of how one becomes an Acting President. This would have been very useful to Dubya and would have made Dick Cheney's job a lot easier.
 
2012-10-19 11:35:08 AM
Excepts from the Book of The Reagan (Unabridged)

And when The Reagan did flee Beirut, the terrist laughed and sayeth amongst themselves "This United States is afraid of us. They flee when the issue becomes unpopular and the death count is high. And the Reagan did not speak of Beirut ever again.

And The Reagan sayeth to the school children. This is tomato. Taketh it and eateth it. And the school children sayeth "These are but packets of ketchup." And The Reagan replieth: Tomato / ketchup. Ketchup / tomato. Let's call the whole thing off. And the masses laughed.

And the Reagan raised taxes. verily, he did. In 1982, 1984, 1985, 1986 and 1987? Holy Jumpin' Jimmy Carter!
 
2012-10-19 11:42:57 AM
i249.photobucket.com

Just say No!
 
2012-10-19 11:45:49 AM
In the interest of fairness..

The Carter Typewriter - When you mistype it boycotts the Olympics. Lusts in its heart for fax machine. Has trouble freeing paper.

The Clinton Typewriter - Takes credit for the things you type. Sticky keys. Blotches ink on your paper, but it disappears before you can correct it.

The Obama Typewriter - Looks well designed, but incorporates lots of useless features. Maintenance hog. Costs several times the advertised price.
 
2012-10-19 11:58:17 AM
Anybody else here live on grilled "Reagan cheese" sammiches for a while?

img.photobucket.com
 
2012-10-19 12:01:55 PM
Obligatory:

imageshack.us
 
2012-10-19 12:02:25 PM
Cross-listed with creative writing and intro to theology.
 
2012-10-19 12:08:42 PM
Came here hoping people remembered what the Reagan presidency was actually like. Leaving satisfied.
 
2012-10-19 12:09:09 PM

hdhale: In the interest of fairness..

The Carter Typewriter - When you mistype it boycotts the Olympics. Lusts in its heart for fax machine. Has trouble freeing paper.

The Clinton Typewriter - Takes credit for the things you type. Sticky keys. Blotches ink on your paper, but it disappears before you can correct it.

The Obama Typewriter - Looks well designed, but incorporates lots of useless features. Maintenance hog. Costs several times the advertised price.


fitsnews.com

The Reagan Typewriter
 
2012-10-19 12:12:16 PM
As someone who just had surgery that turned his colon into a semicolon, I'm not getting a kick out of these replies.

/excuse me, off to empty my ileostomy bag.
 
2012-10-19 12:27:38 PM

Marcus Aurelius: Less well known is that Ronnie and Nancy played games in bed well into old age.

Ronnie would fart, and then hold Nancy's head under the covers.


Ah, the ever popular "Dutch Oven"

/not to be confused with the Dutch Rudder...ever
 
Ehh
2012-10-19 12:31:22 PM
Thank you, Wikipedia: Some assorted Reagan Administration crimes and criminals:

Iran/Contra: Caspar Weinberger, Elliott Abrams, Robert C. McFarlane, Alan D. Fiers, Richard R. Miller, Clair George, Richard Secord, Thomas G. Clines, Carl R. Channel, John Poindexter, Oliver North, Duane R. Clarridge, Albert Hakim, Joseph F. Fernandez. Lying to Congress, perjury, hiding money, mostly pardoned by Bush I, who was himself involved in a criminal conspiracy to defraud the American people of a fair election and to sell arms to America's avowed enemy.

HUD: accepting bribes in exchange for taxpayer money: Phillip D. Winn, Thomas Demery, Deborah Gore Dean, Joseph A. Strauss, Silvio D. DeBartolomeis, Catalina Vasquez Villalpando.

Ramping up the "war on drugs" to create the continuing disaster we still are saddled with today.

S&L scandal: Martin Mayer wrote at the time, "The theft from the taxpayer by the community that fattened on the growth of the savings and loan (S&L) industry in the 1980s is the worst public scandal in American history. Teapot Dome in the Harding administration and the Credit Mobilier in the times of Ulysses S. Grant have been taken as the ultimate horror stories of capitalist democracy gone to seed. Measuring by money, [or] by the misallocation of national resources... the S&L outrage makes Teapot Dome and Credit Mobilier seem minor episodes." Of course, that was before Bush II and TARP.

Economist John Kenneth Galbraith called it "the largest and costliest venture in public misfeasance, malfeasance and larceny of all time."

FARK Ronald Reagan. FARK the a**holes who praise his legacy.
 
2012-10-19 12:47:00 PM
At least the homework assignments will be a snap.

Teacher: "You didn't turn in your homework."

Student: "I'm positive that I did."

"OK, so what was the answer to question 1 that you put down?"

"I can't recall."

"What time did you drop it by my office."

"I'm not certain."

"Why not?"

"Well, my friend Ollie was taking it over for me. I think he's doing some shredding down in the basement; go ask him if he's got it."
 
2012-10-19 12:55:41 PM
He was such a socialist. Maybe they should take notes:

Before Obama A Socialist President Named Reagan Supported the Buffet Rule
 
2012-10-19 01:02:51 PM
Not much love for the headline?
That's HOTY quarterly finalist stuff.

/unless its an old joke and I need to get out more
 
2012-10-19 01:22:39 PM

Harry Freakstorm: Excepts from the Book of The Reagan (Unabridged)

And when The Reagan did flee Beirut, the terrist laughed and sayeth amongst themselves "This United States is afraid of us. They flee when the issue becomes unpopular and the death count is high. And the Reagan did not speak of Beirut ever again.

And The Reagan sayeth to the school children. This is tomato. Taketh it and eateth it. And the school children sayeth "These are but packets of ketchup." And The Reagan replieth: Tomato / ketchup. Ketchup / tomato. Let's call the whole thing off. And the masses laughed.

And the Reagan raised taxes. verily, he did. In 1982, 1984, 1985, 1986 and 1987? Holy Jumpin' Jimmy Carter!


And with a swift motion of his hand, the skies parted, the ground quaked and the Lord Regan spoke... "Bonzo... it is thy bedtime!"
 
2012-10-19 02:02:24 PM

Meatybrain: hdhale: In the interest of fairness..

The Carter Typewriter - When you mistype it boycotts the Olympics. Lusts in its heart for fax machine. Has trouble freeing paper.

The Clinton Typewriter - Takes credit for the things you type. Sticky keys. Blotches ink on your paper, but it disappears before you can correct it.

The Obama Typewriter - Looks well designed, but incorporates lots of useless features. Maintenance hog. Costs several times the advertised price.

[fitsnews.com image 437x500]

The Reagan Typewriter


Nope that's Bush Jr's typewriter.
 
2012-10-19 02:51:33 PM
Does the class teach you how to turn a limited democracy into a neo-feudalistic plutocracy?
 
2012-10-19 02:58:44 PM
How did Reagan become some sort of liberal boogey man?

/Oh yeah, he helped collapse the Soviet Union
//RIght on, Comrade
 
2012-10-19 03:15:42 PM

Old Smokie: How did Reagan become some sort of liberal boogey man?

/Oh yeah, he helped collapse the Soviet Union
//RIght on, Comrade


He called the Taliban the equivalent of America's founding fathers.
 
2012-10-19 04:11:13 PM
I lol'd subby, then I felt a little bad. Then I got over it.
 
2012-10-19 05:42:05 PM
What is this, "Reagan scholar" that you speak of?
 
2012-10-19 05:45:53 PM

temmerling: Came here hoping people remembered what the Reagan presidency was actually like. Leaving satisfied.


If you feel strongly about this stuff, I recommend President Diablo on Facebook.
 
2012-10-19 05:59:34 PM

Barnstormer: Anybody else here live on grilled "Reagan cheese" sammiches for a while?

[img.photobucket.com image 393x517]


Yep! With day-old bread, fried in generic margarine. Mmm-mmm good.
 
2012-10-20 12:37:07 AM
Ronesia
 
2012-10-21 12:16:20 AM

Old Smokie: How did Reagan become some sort of liberal boogey man?

How did Reagan avoid impeachment?

 
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