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(Nashua Telegraph)   Dude1: Dude, I'm totally wasted and we just hit a school bus. Dude2: Dude, so am I, but not so much. So let's swap seats. Dude1: Sweet. Dude, where are you going? Dude2: Check it out, someone hit a school bus here. Cops: Dudes, you're under arrest   (nashuatelegraph.com) divider line 41
    More: Dumbass, Amherst  
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9832 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Oct 2012 at 1:24 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



41 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-10-19 12:01:27 PM  
I must have missed the texting part of the story. If you're going to completely fabricate something to spur interest, why not include Romney campaign aides and make them pregnant underage kidknapped hookers too?
 
2012-10-19 01:28:17 PM  
Your name's Lebowski, Lebowski. Your wife's name is Bunny.
 
2012-10-19 01:30:15 PM  
media.tumblr.com

Caught for questioning?
 
2012-10-19 01:32:42 PM  
Friends don't let friends drive drunk.
 
2012-10-19 01:33:17 PM  

NutWrench: Your name's Lebowski, Lebowski. Your wife's name is Bunny.


My ... my wi- my wife, Bunny? Do you see a wedding ring on my finger? Does this place look like I'm farking married? The toilet seat's up, man!
 
2012-10-19 01:33:58 PM  
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-10-19 01:33:59 PM  
static.guim.co.uk
 
2012-10-19 01:39:23 PM  
[Img src="http://headblitz.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/kenny_powers.jpg" /]
 
2012-10-19 01:40:00 PM  
shiat
 
2012-10-19 01:42:31 PM  

Honest Bender: [media.tumblr.com image 400x300]

Caught for questioning?


It is with great embarrassment that whenever I'm asked by my kids where Mr teeny and I went on our first date I have to say "dude, where's my car?"
 
2012-10-19 01:43:42 PM  
hey man, it was just an ambulance!

solidbusinessloans.com
 
2012-10-19 01:43:46 PM  
Benjamin was also charged with conduct after an accident

Don't conduct and drive!
 
2012-10-19 01:46:52 PM  
Do southerners refer to this place as Virginia?
 
2012-10-19 01:50:01 PM  
Pull over man!
 
2012-10-19 01:50:25 PM  

notmtwain: I must have missed the texting part of the story. If you're going to completely fabricate something to spur interest, why not include Romney campaign aides and make them pregnant underage kidknapped hookers too?


agreed, headline was stupid
 
2012-10-19 01:56:46 PM  
Sounds like some potheads are butthurt in the thread! Poor babies!
 
2012-10-19 02:03:12 PM  
Worst headline EVAR!
 
2012-10-19 02:08:32 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2012-10-19 02:13:50 PM  
homepages.theonion.com

/oblig
 
2012-10-19 02:15:31 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2012-10-19 02:16:17 PM  
www.nashuatelegraph.com

img.skysports.com

// Hotter than Vettel's title chances...
 
2012-10-19 03:21:07 PM  
read about these rocket scientists in today's paper, and now I see that it is greenlighted on Fark. Sniff, my little hometown yellow journalist rag's all grown up and on the interwebs.

since I've never submitted an article or headline, I'm not going to get stoned in glass houses. Or something like that.

/avoids the school buses

//buses full of nuns and orphans still free game, though
 
2012-10-19 03:32:14 PM  

deadcrickets: Sounds like some potheads are butthurt in the thread! Poor babies!


you know I could write a big rant about it, but honestly, I'm just going to blame you for it
 
2012-10-19 03:43:22 PM  
Somebody you used to know.
imageshack.us
 
2012-10-19 03:57:33 PM  

Honest Bender: [media.tumblr.com image 400x300]

Caught for questioning?


Came for this

/sweet
 
2012-10-19 03:59:36 PM  

Der Poopflinger: notmtwain: I must have missed the texting part of the story. If you're going to completely fabricate something to spur interest, why not include Romney campaign aides and make them pregnant underage kidknapped hookers too?

agreed, headline was stupid


I'm missing the part where either the Fark headline or the original headline mentions texting.

WTF?
 
2012-10-19 04:08:04 PM  
I only wish that it went down like in subby's headline. I guess it's good that there was no selling out between bras.
 
2012-10-19 04:10:47 PM  
When asked which one was driving the car...

www.filmcritic.com
 
2012-10-19 04:23:10 PM  
www.useragentman.com

ZOLTAN!!!!
 
2012-10-19 04:24:02 PM  
Those guys look so stoned, I'm amazed they could come up with the idea to switch seats before the cops got there.
 
2012-10-19 04:25:53 PM  
The pair look like fine upstanding citizens. I'm sure it's just a mistake and soon enough they'll be back contributing to society and whatnot. Somebody ought to offer them a management job. Just what the country needs right now.
 
2012-10-19 04:40:27 PM  

AssAsInAssassin: Der Poopflinger: notmtwain: I must have missed the texting part of the story. If you're going to completely fabricate something to spur interest, why not include Romney campaign aides and make them pregnant underage kidknapped hookers too?

agreed, headline was stupid

I'm missing the part where either the Fark headline or the original headline mentions texting.

WTF?


Yes, you're right. The cops could have been in the back seat writing down the words as they were spoken. Or they could just have listening devices in every car that the NSA can monitor in real time and they can just punch in a search to find anyone discussing "school bus accidents" within a 10 mile radius.

There are literally so many other possibilities for recovering conversations, I should never have jumped to the conclusion that these were texts made by dumbasses later recovered by the police.

// Now let's get back to why these Romney aides were in the car with the pregnant lesbians hookers.
 
2012-10-19 04:48:53 PM  

notmtwain: AssAsInAssassin: Der Poopflinger: notmtwain: I must have missed the texting part of the story. If you're going to completely fabricate something to spur interest, why not include Romney campaign aides and make them pregnant underage kidknapped hookers too?

agreed, headline was stupid

I'm missing the part where either the Fark headline or the original headline mentions texting.

WTF?

Yes, you're right. The cops could have been in the back seat writing down the words as they were spoken. Or they could just have listening devices in every car that the NSA can monitor in real time and they can just punch in a search to find anyone discussing "school bus accidents" within a 10 mile radius.

There are literally so many other possibilities for recovering conversations, I should never have jumped to the conclusion that these were texts made by dumbasses later recovered by the police.

// Now let's get back to why these Romney aides were in the car with the pregnant lesbians hookers.


I have no idea what you're talking about. Did we read the same article? What conversation are you alleging was recovered?

Here's the article headline: "Collision with Merrimack bus results in string of charges for Amherst men"

Here's an excerpt from the FTFA:

"Witnesses told police a van had hit the bus and then left the scene heading west on Amherst Road. Police determined no one on the bus had been injured and then, using the registration information jotted down by witnesses, spotted the same van driving by the scene and were able to stop it, police said.... Police later learned the pair had switched positions following the crash...."

Also: What's with the snotty 'tude, bro? Chill out. People might like you more if you don't immediately launch into an unprovoked snark fit when asked a simple question.
 
2012-10-19 04:55:58 PM  
AssAsInAssassinAssAsInAssassin: I have no idea what you're talking about. Did we read the same article? What conversation are you alleging was recovered?

The fabricated text quoted in the Fark headline. I originally complained that those words were totally made up by the subby.

/I assumed your WTF? was a complaint about why I called it texting

/ What? Hunh?
 
2012-10-19 05:42:59 PM  
Screw everyone in the thread, I couldn't stop laughing as I read the headline. Twice.

Who gives a shiat if it's made up? This is Fark.
 
2012-10-19 05:43:58 PM  

notmtwain: AssAsInAssassinAssAsInAssassin: I have no idea what you're talking about. Did we read the same article? What conversation are you alleging was recovered?

The fabricated text quoted in the Fark headline. I originally complained that those words were totally made up by the subby.

/I assumed your WTF? was a complaint about why I called it texting

/ What? Hunh?


Ah.
 
2012-10-19 06:50:59 PM  
The one lone facebook comment at the bottom of the article was completely surreal.
 
182
2012-10-19 08:59:26 PM  

autopsybeverage: The one lone facebook comment at the bottom of the article was completely surreal.


came here to comment on that. i was like "whoa".
 
2012-10-20 02:29:42 AM  

182: autopsybeverage: The one lone facebook comment at the bottom of the article was completely surreal.

came here to comment on that. i was like "whoa".


Your two posts made me go back and check out the comments. That's insane. The one she's claiming molested her was the one that fought back during the arrest too. I wonder how many people in the Nashua read the Telegraph online and will this potentially cause a shiatstorm.
 
2012-10-20 10:43:53 AM  
There are no "dudes" in new england. They're all way too uptight for that.
 
2012-10-20 11:17:21 AM  
FTA:

"And being on drugs while they did it."

*Gasp* Not DRUGS!
 
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