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(Smithsonian Magazine)   If the zombie apocalypse should come, shoot the crows. Seriously   (blogs.smithsonianmag.com) divider line 102
    More: Scary, Smithsonian magazine, zombie apocalypse, testimonials, prion disease  
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18386 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Oct 2012 at 10:18 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



102 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2012-10-18 06:23:56 PM  
Anyone who has ever played a zombie-shooting video game could tell you that.
 
2012-10-18 06:47:18 PM  
Why, are you worried about someone injecting crow shiat into your veins?
 
2012-10-18 08:57:41 PM  
And if it doesn't come, shoot them anyway.
 
2012-10-18 09:22:13 PM  
They spread the Andromeda Strain, too.
 
2012-10-18 10:19:14 PM  
Joe Biden tearing ass around DC shooting crows from his biatchin' tranny.
 
2012-10-18 10:21:02 PM  

SockMonkeyHolocaust: Joe Biden tearing ass around DC shooting crows from his biatchin' tranny.


I don't think Jill has a penis.
 
2012-10-18 10:21:24 PM  

SockMonkeyHolocaust: Joe Biden tearing ass around DC shooting crows from his biatchin' tranny.


transexuals do tend to complain a lot.....
 
2012-10-18 10:21:44 PM  
But I like crows!
 
2012-10-18 10:22:51 PM  
Well, stone the crows...
 
2012-10-18 10:24:38 PM  
basemetal: Why, are you worried about someone injecting crow shiat into your veins?

The lab researchers are going to be the ones who contract the zombie disease first, plus they have a ton of needles and the drive to infect things.
 
2012-10-18 10:24:57 PM  
Lonesome Crow is the best Scorpions album without Uli Jon Roth.
 
2012-10-18 10:27:27 PM  
adam duritz is first to die
 
2012-10-18 10:27:47 PM  
this is why i can't have nice things like tacos de sesos anymore :(
 
2012-10-18 10:28:16 PM  
 
2012-10-18 10:29:53 PM  
Well, this is unfortunate.


/likes crows way better than people
 
2012-10-18 10:31:04 PM  
According to World War Z, consuming zombie flesh is deadly. So the crows would die until they learned to avoid Zach.
 
2012-10-18 10:35:18 PM  

SockMonkeyHolocaust: Joe Biden tearing ass around DC shooting crows from his biatchin' tranny.


2.bp.blogspot.com

Biden sounds racist.
 
2012-10-18 10:37:00 PM  
Prions actually can stand up to your standard incineration as well. So by subby's logic we need to avoid brain-eating dragons as well.
 
2012-10-18 10:37:31 PM  

Omahawg: SockMonkeyHolocaust: Joe Biden tearing ass around DC shooting crows from his biatchin' tranny.

transexuals do tend to complain a lot.....


Especially when you insist on constant piggy back rides.
 
2012-10-18 10:38:45 PM  
Zombies aren't real, idiots.
 
2012-10-18 10:40:13 PM  
3critical.files.wordpress.com

Finds all this crow shooting talk objectionable.
 
2012-10-18 10:42:24 PM  
You should do that anyway. They are the eyes and ears of the Dark One.
 
2012-10-18 10:43:50 PM  
planetmedia.gamespy.com
Well duh. And Dobermans.
 
2012-10-18 10:44:12 PM  
I guess they call them a murder of crows for a reason.
 
2012-10-18 10:44:21 PM  

FatherChaos: Better get Rick and Shane.


Ah man, you should have saved that pic for caturday

/stupid cats are stupid
//dead cats being eaten by crows is just plain neeto
 
2012-10-18 10:54:37 PM  
No...do not shoot crows...FFS
 
2012-10-18 10:55:42 PM  
Never liked them anyway.

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2012-10-18 10:56:07 PM  
i335.photobucket.com

/Obligatory (sorta with these new fangled memes)
 
2012-10-18 10:56:11 PM  

AverageAmericanGuy: Zombies aren't real, idiots.


The Red Shirts are the first to go.
 
2012-10-18 10:56:33 PM  
This is why you go with the 5.56 instead of the 7.62.

/22 will do crows, but it just won't cut it for zombies.
 
2012-10-18 10:58:10 PM  
images3.wikia.nocookie.net
Wished he'd known that.
 
2012-10-18 11:00:53 PM  

hdhale: [3critical.files.wordpress.com image 374x500]

Finds all this crow shooting talk objectionable.


nohugginginchina.daptd.com

DEFINITELY agrees.
 
2012-10-18 11:03:13 PM  
Pharaoh said -

Well stone the crows,
This Joseph is a clever kid
Who'd have thought we'd avoid the zombie apocalypse like we did?
 
2012-10-18 11:03:53 PM  
Better stock up on food!

This is my house:
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-10-18 11:04:43 PM  

BumpInTheNight: [images3.wikia.nocookie.net image 465x318]
Wished he'd known that.


Came here for the 28 Days Later reference, leaving satisfied.
 
2012-10-18 11:07:24 PM  

AverageAmericanGuy: Zombies aren't real, idiots.


Yet
 
2012-10-18 11:08:15 PM  

HortusMatris: Better stock up on food!

This is my house:
[4.bp.blogspot.com image 356x500]


hahahha
 
2012-10-18 11:08:18 PM  
Nobody takes a crow for a pet anyway. I would rather have a cock, ride on a cock, 'coz no one can rival the cock. The only porn star who can rival a cock is Virginie Caprice.
 
2012-10-18 11:11:18 PM  

Amos Quito: SockMonkeyHolocaust: Joe Biden tearing ass around DC shooting crows from his biatchin' tranny.

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 400x210]

Biden sounds racist.


Some of his best friends are black people.
 
2012-10-18 11:16:32 PM  
I always figured that in a zombie apocalypse the thing to worry about most would be zombified little things like rats and birds.
 
2012-10-18 11:17:28 PM  
Or you could just do what my neighbor did, and blast off a bird cannon while blaring recordings of birds dying, and sit on a beat up lawn chair while drinking a beer.
 
2012-10-18 11:18:36 PM  

Plant Rights Activist: I always figured that in a zombie apocalypse the thing to worry about most would be zombified little things like rats and birds.


If there are zombie mosquitoes, we are so totally farked.
 
2012-10-18 11:22:37 PM  
I never liked their music, but g'damn, I'd rather see them put down than potentially spread all those diseases.

encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
 
2012-10-18 11:24:00 PM  
When the half-feral cat that guards my house ended up with a terrible infected wound in his paw, the vet said he'd gone head-to-head with a crow (well, beak-to-paw), because when he cultured the damn thing it was more about what it didn't have growing on it than what it did.

/Three surgeries, but the second two were on the vet's dime.
 
2012-10-18 11:25:11 PM  

basemetal: Why, are you worried about someone injecting crow shiat into your veins?


More likely into the brain directly. It would've been more interesting to see if these prions were transmitted from ingestion. It really makes plenty of sense that scavengers evolved to be able to digest prions and other harmful organisms safely, since they have to be pretty indiscriminate in what they eat.
 
2012-10-18 11:26:28 PM  

hdhale: [3critical.files.wordpress.com image 374x500]

Finds all this crow shooting talk objectionable.


2.bp.blogspot.com

Quick impression for you. Caw! Caw! Bang! Fark, I'm dead!
 
2012-10-18 11:27:50 PM  

AverageAmericanGuy: Zombies aren't real, idiots.


Yes they are.
 
2012-10-18 11:27:56 PM  

eggrolls: If there are zombie mosquitoes, we are so totally farked.


No doubt.
 
2012-10-18 11:28:33 PM  
media.insidepulse.com

Good idea for most apocalypse scenarios, really.
 
2012-10-18 11:30:38 PM  

ArcadianRefugee: Anyone who has ever played a zombie-shooting video game could tell you that.


Yeah! Resident Evil 4 taught me that crows are full of helpful money and grenades anyway.
 
2012-10-18 11:32:32 PM  

Zarquon's Flat Tire: You should do that anyway. They are the eyes and ears of the Dark One.


Which one?
 
2012-10-18 11:52:02 PM  
Is it just me, or do the pictures of Brandon Lee and other "The Crow" pics make me really sad? It's just...kind of a downer in general.
 
2012-10-18 11:53:52 PM  

Texian: Zarquon's Flat Tire: You should do that anyway. They are the eyes and ears of the Dark One.

Which one?


Shai Tan. The walkin dude too.
 
2012-10-18 11:55:09 PM  
i.imgur.com
RIP
 
2012-10-18 11:55:22 PM  
Some cycle like this makes me lean towards killing off crows:

i1211.photobucket.com
 
2012-10-18 11:55:56 PM  
Prefers stoning, thank you.

content7.flixster.com
 
2012-10-18 11:59:15 PM  

AverageAmericanGuy: Zombies aren't real, idiots.


Sure about that?
 
2012-10-19 12:07:21 AM  
The researchers then injected healthy mice with prions recovered from the crows' droppings, and those mice showed signs of prion disease. [No shiat.] 

FTFY
 
2012-10-19 12:10:45 AM  

harrydorcas: Nobody takes a crow for a pet anyway.


4.bp.blogspot.com
Uncle Billy Disagrees


Also...

aravencalling.files.wordpress.com

The residents of Ravenhill disapprove
 
2012-10-19 12:16:19 AM  

Lenny_da_Hog: eggrolls: If there are zombie mosquitoes, we are so totally farked.

No doubt.


Dig those three hardasses who won't wear netting.
 
2012-10-19 12:20:07 AM  

Thats_right_ALL_the_tea: ArcadianRefugee: Anyone who has ever played a zombie-shooting video game could tell you that.

Yeah! Resident Evil 4 taught me that crows are full of helpful money and grenades anyway.


this
 
2012-10-19 12:30:52 AM  

way south: /22 will do crows, but it just won't cut it for zombies.


Several zombie books disagree. They all pretty much say that a headshot with a .22 is a great way to destroy a brain because the bullet has enough power to enter the skull but not exit, so it just bounces around inside while it expends its energy. And since .22 LR ammunition is both very common and relatively light weight, it is rather ideal for any zombie survival kit.

That's what they say, anyway.
 
2012-10-19 12:34:25 AM  
4.bp.blogspot.com 

Gonna need a bigger gun.
 
2012-10-19 12:39:24 AM  
I believe Resident Evil already covered this.

The upside is that about any decent firearm will be more than sufficient to knock out a zombified crow.
 
2012-10-19 12:40:47 AM  
Try it and that's a stabbin!

www.gannett-cdn.com
 
2012-10-19 12:43:17 AM  

illannoyin: harrydorcas: Nobody takes a crow for a pet anyway.

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 500x389]
Uncle Billy Disagrees

Also...

[aravencalling.files.wordpress.com image 300x295]

The residents of Ravenhill disapprove


We don't go there anymore...
 
2012-10-19 12:45:15 AM  
Or Ravenholm, either.

/dang
 
2012-10-19 12:48:05 AM  

hdhale: [3critical.files.wordpress.com image 374x500]

Finds all this crow shooting talk objectionable.


No he wouldn't - shooting him was a minor inconvenience
 
2012-10-19 12:55:01 AM  
lh3.googleusercontent.com

Come at me, bro.
 
2012-10-19 12:56:07 AM  

harrydorcas: Nobody takes a crow for a pet anyway.


Ummm...
 
2012-10-19 01:00:46 AM  

Zarquon's Flat Tire: You should do that anyway. They are the eyes and ears of the Dark One.


Odin is the Dark One?
 
2012-10-19 01:01:01 AM  
I wish this tired, overly played out zombie crap would go the way of the macarena already.
 
2012-10-19 01:03:31 AM  
images3.wikia.nocookie.net

possibly slightly obscure in its relevance
 
2012-10-19 01:05:27 AM  
Always nod your head to the crows you see, and they will nod back... these are not your foes.
 
2012-10-19 01:05:43 AM  

iaazathot: Zarquon's Flat Tire: You should do that anyway. They are the eyes and ears of the Dark One.

Odin is the Dark One?


Hecate, you illiterate heretic.
 
2012-10-19 01:10:28 AM  

Betep: AverageAmericanGuy: Zombies aren't real, idiots.


Reeeeeeeeeeeeaaallllllyyyyy??????????

Hmmmmm. . .

Sounds like you've never lived in a neighborhood overrun by meth addicts and bath salt snorters!
 
2012-10-19 02:07:09 AM  
Well, f that. Crows are cool, and a protected species, at least here in California.
/raised a crow baby then fledged it
 
2012-10-19 02:48:32 AM  

Gyrfalcon: iaazathot: Zarquon's Flat Tire: You should do that anyway. They are the eyes and ears of the Dark One.

Odin is the Dark One?

Hecate, you illiterate heretic.


Actually, it's not the ravens you have to worry about so much as the Raven Mockers. These are easy to distinguish from regular ravens because they go after livers (rather than eyes and brains) and are probably stumbling around drunk as skunks after a Fark meet :D

/NOBODY SAID WE HAD TO STAY WITH EUROPEAN MYTHOLOGY
//it was pretty much...well...this for American representation, because the Raven stories people are more familiar with have him as an epic troll. Kind of like Coyote only pointier :D
 
2012-10-19 02:50:49 AM  

hdhale: [3critical.files.wordpress.com image 374x500]

Finds all this crow shooting talk objectionable.


So says a reanimated dead guy... yeah I'm sure you are on our side and not the Zombies.
 
2012-10-19 02:53:54 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: Zombies aren't real, idiots.


No, but stinky gun-grabbing hippie trolls are.
 
2012-10-19 03:18:24 AM  
fta When the crows excreted the digested brains around four hours later, the prions emerged without any damage.

Wanted: Diseased mouse brain-filled bird poo collection technician. Competitive salary. Stable and gruel. Hunched back required. Small speech impediment and slight Slavic accent are desirable.
 
2012-10-19 04:45:07 AM  

Notabunny: fta When the crows excreted the digested brains around four hours later, the prions emerged without any damage.

Wanted: Diseased mouse brain-filled bird poo collection technician. Competitive salary. Stable and gruel. Hunched back required. Small speech impediment and slight Slavic accent are desirable.


I know somebody, but he's a former bell-ringer. Is he over-qualified?
 
2012-10-19 06:07:52 AM  

mamoru: way south: /22 will do crows, but it just won't cut it for zombies.

Several zombie books disagree. They all pretty much say that a headshot with a .22 is a great way to destroy a brain because the bullet has enough power to enter the skull but not exit, so it just bounces around inside while it expends its energy. And since .22 LR ammunition is both very common and relatively light weight, it is rather ideal for any zombie survival kit.

That's what they say, anyway.


I've heard that too, but I question this advise based on two issues.
The first being that human skulls can be thick, especially in the front. 22lr is a round mainly meant for small game and target shooting. It is often used to kill larger animals and can certainly kill humans, but most times we'd be talking about close ranges and aiming at fleshy parts.
At distance on a skull sounds like a gamble. At closer ranges, headshots aren't always guaranteed.

The second issue is that,t with all this zombie talk, no ones ever met a zombie.
We only know that a hypothetical one is based on the human body, and that the head is its a likely weak point (altho if the body is not depending on its heart, there's no assurance its using its brain either). Maybe they'll be day of the dead shamblers, or maybe they'll still be "alive" and move like bath salt empowered face eaters.
If the latter, you wouldn't settle for a round that sometimes gets the job done. You'd want to break the target in meaningful ways. Like a shotgun or a 308.

I see the 223 as a solid middle ground. Small enough to be carried in quantity, powerful enough to do damage at a distance.
 
2012-10-19 06:43:13 AM  
The researchers then injected healthy mice with prions recovered from the crows' droppings, and those mice showed signs of prion disease.

Why not inject the prions directly into the crows?
 
2012-10-19 07:37:35 AM  
imageshack.us
Uploaded with ImageShack.us
 
2012-10-19 07:51:28 AM  
Four words: kill it with FIRE!

25.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-10-19 08:13:48 AM  

Zarquon's Flat Tire: You should do that anyway. They are the eyes and ears of the Dark One.


You fool! My minions on Earth are cute and cuddly, you would NEVER find them!
 
2012-10-19 08:29:42 AM  

Matrix Flavored Wasabi: basemetal: Why, are you worried about someone injecting crow shiat into your veins?

More likely into the brain directly. It would've been more interesting to see if these prions were transmitted from ingestion. It really makes plenty of sense that scavengers evolved to be able to digest prions and other harmful organisms safely, since they have to be pretty indiscriminate in what they eat.


They don't digest them, they poop them out. And an amazing variety of parasites and pathogens have learned to adapt themselves to make "getting eaten by scavenger" a necessary part of their life cycle, a kind of transport system to reaching their primary reproduction vector.

/successful diseases kill the hosts they reproduce in
//and not the hosts they rely on to spread them around
 
2012-10-19 08:34:30 AM  

Tatterdemalian: Matrix Flavored Wasabi: basemetal: Why, are you worried about someone injecting crow shiat into your veins?

More likely into the brain directly. It would've been more interesting to see if these prions were transmitted from ingestion. It really makes plenty of sense that scavengers evolved to be able to digest prions and other harmful organisms safely, since they have to be pretty indiscriminate in what they eat.

They don't digest them, they poop them out. And an amazing variety of parasites and pathogens have learned to adapt themselves to make "getting eaten by scavenger" a necessary part of their life cycle, a kind of transport system to reaching their primary reproduction vector.

/successful diseases kill the hosts they reproduce in
//and not the hosts they rely on to spread them around


I meant for the rats that were injected with the pooped-out prions...ie if the prions were isolated and added to their diet if there was any consequence at all (which would have consequences as far as runoff and things like that go).
 
2012-10-19 09:15:47 AM  
fc06.deviantart.net

Doesn't mind getting shot...
 
2012-10-19 09:50:56 AM  
Stiletto Mafiosa unavailable for comment.
 
2012-10-19 09:51:50 AM  

doobiebrother: dur


No, you fool! He's the only one who knows what we're up against!
 
2012-10-19 10:25:37 AM  

TommyymmoT: I wish this tired, overly played out zombie crap would go the way of the macarena already.


Hush you; it's infinitely preferable to the Vampire (sparkly or sultry southern) crap we had to hear about before the ZA took over.
 
2012-10-19 11:31:34 AM  

Fart_Machine: hdhale: [3critical.files.wordpress.com image 374x500]

Finds all this crow shooting talk objectionable.

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 576x327]

Quick impression for you. Caw! Caw! Bang! Fark, I'm dead!


this is why i love fark

how bout an 'introspective moment of silence'
www.geocities.ws
 
2012-10-19 11:49:23 AM  
Mr. Munshun and Gorg do not approve.
 
2012-10-19 01:24:33 PM  

inner ted: Fart_Machine: hdhale: [3critical.files.wordpress.com image 374x500]

Finds all this crow shooting talk objectionable.

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 576x327]

Quick impression for you. Caw! Caw! Bang! Fark, I'm dead!

this is why i love fark

how bout an 'introspective moment of silence'
[www.geocities.ws image 720x576]


The only Crow film that was worth a damn.
 
2012-10-19 03:43:29 PM  

illannoyin:

[aravencalling.files.wordpress.com image 300x295]

The residents of Ravenhill disapprove


Ravens != Crows
 
2012-10-20 12:16:22 AM  
Isn't there a crow eating a really fake looking dead rabbit in the opening credits to "The Walking Dead?"
 
2012-10-20 12:21:25 AM  

2 Replies: illannoyin:

[aravencalling.files.wordpress.com image 300x295]

The residents of Ravenhill disapprove

Ravens != Crows


But they're both corvids. I wonder if ravens also spread this.

//Was surprised when I visited Perth, Western Australia, and the crows (ravens?) sounding more like mewing cats than the cawing of their North American cousins.//
 
2012-10-20 11:46:58 AM  

LordOfThePings: [images3.wikia.nocookie.net image 500x373]

possibly slightly obscure in its relevance


Burns: [voice only] Yes, we've isolated the problem. Wouldn't you know, false alarm.
Marge: Phew!
Burns: It seems a single wayward crow flew into our warning system.
Kent: Very good. Well, sir, your point about nuclear hysteria is well-taken.
This reporter promises to be more trusting and less vigilant
in the future.
Burns: [in his office, still wearing his radiation suit]
Excellent. Well, ta! 

Plus the sound of the establishing shot for the SNPP.
 
2012-10-20 05:12:27 PM  
BlankJames

I guess you win lunch with the inanimate carbon rod.
 
2012-10-21 12:47:19 PM  
Really? I got quoted a few times and no one seemed to get the Wheel of Time reference? It's not obscure.
 
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