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(Kansas City)   If you're going to prank a fellow employee at the Family Dollar store who keeps stealing food from the office fridge, make sure he actually drinks the laxative-laced Coca-Cola and doesn't put them out for customers to buy   (kansascity.com) divider line 46
    More: Dumbass, Coca-Cola, Kansas City, laxatives, Family Dollar  
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6185 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Oct 2012 at 2:10 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-10-18 02:15:10 PM  
I know many people would have planted the laxative-spiked coke in the fridge for the office thief to drink.

The really bad part was when said thief noticed the drinks were tampered with. . .so he put them out on sale for customers to drink!

Seriously. You know the product is tampered with/contaminated, so you go out of your way to put it on the shelf for customers? Did he think "Oh, some random customer is going to drink that and get so sick, this will be awesome!"
 
2012-10-18 02:16:16 PM  
I hope everyone involved in that story gets dysentery.
 
2012-10-18 02:17:06 PM  
This whole story reads like a Raising Hope episode.
 
2012-10-18 02:18:07 PM  
"negligence and negligent supervision, training, hiring and retention."

No way, not in the ghetto! I was on Troost once, stop lights and stop signs turned into yield signs real quick.
 
2012-10-18 02:18:42 PM  
Well, you don't have to get dressed up like y'all are going to Walmart if you're just going to the Dollar Store, so if you shiat your pants there, it won't be that big a deal.
 
2012-10-18 02:21:48 PM  

Mr. Cat Poop: I hope everyone involved in that story gets dysentery.


What good will sending them to Oregon do?
 
2012-10-18 02:22:01 PM  
plop plop fizz fizz
 
2012-10-18 02:24:07 PM  
"I had a panic attack," she said. "It was close to 9/11 and I didn't know what was in that bottle."

How long are we going to have to deal with the annual national freak out at everything day? First the turrists came for the buildings. Now they're coming for the bowels.
 
2012-10-18 02:24:09 PM  
So does the employee that put the contaminated drinks in the for sale bin still work there?
 
2012-10-18 02:25:48 PM  
I wish I could score an easy jackpot like that. Should be good for $100k after the lawyer's cut.

/That'll buy a lot of lottery tickets
 
2012-10-18 02:25:50 PM  
I went to get a specific brand of soda at a Walgreens one time and all of the bottles were missing their safety bands.

Pissed me off. I don't know who did what, but the bottles were even out of date.
 
2012-10-18 02:27:16 PM  
someone had a really shiatty day
 
2012-10-18 02:29:21 PM  
Spasticus Autisticus: I wish I could score an easy jackpot like that. Should be good for $100k after the lawyer's cut.

/That'll buy a lot of lottery tickets


I was thinking 100k would be a good amount to award her, hell, she could buy 20 houses in that area for 100k.
 
2012-10-18 02:32:43 PM  
my mom pulled the Choc-o-lax brownies prank on her coworkers once, on her last day of work. Now if you ever met my mom, she is a sweet, nice lady and you'd be shocked to hear that. These asshole coworkers just pushed her too far.
 
2012-10-18 02:35:40 PM  
shiat just got real
 
2012-10-18 02:39:30 PM  

royone: shiat just got real loose



FTFY
 
2012-10-18 02:44:24 PM  
Where did she hide the watch?
 
2012-10-18 02:54:06 PM  
The woman definitely deserves some compensation, but in excess of $100k? Mother of God, what a mockery of the justice system.
 
2012-10-18 03:05:18 PM  

Johnnyflash: "negligence and negligent supervision, training, hiring and retention."


I think retention (or lack of) was a the heart of the issue
 
2012-10-18 03:11:35 PM  
I used to find stuff at my old Dollar Store that was discontinued years ago. I remember seeing a box of Ninja Turtles cereal there, thinking "Sweet! Haven't had that in ages!" and then looked over the box and realized why; it had expired four years ago.

Shame I was a dumbass kid and didn't know how lawyers worked. Could have paid a dollar for my college education.
 
2012-10-18 03:11:45 PM  
Pay attention. This will be a blue book question on the Tort Law 101 exam.
 
2012-10-18 03:17:19 PM  
I wonder if someone drank one of these contaminated sodas, went out to play baseball, was sliding into first, and felt something burst?
 
2012-10-18 03:19:59 PM  

Silverstaff: I know many people would have planted the laxative-spiked coke in the fridge for the office thief to drink.

The really bad part was when said thief noticed the drinks were tampered with. . .so he put them out on sale for customers to drink!

Seriously. You know the product is tampered with/contaminated, so you go out of your way to put it on the shelf for customers? Did he think "Oh, some random customer is going to drink that and get so sick, this will be awesome!"


No he probably was thinking "a customer will get sick and whoever tried to prank me will go to jail for being a drink posioning asshole".
 
2012-10-18 03:23:04 PM  
"They called me and told me they would give me a $200 gift card," Nelson said. "It was like we were playing 'The Price is Right' or something."

Oh she'll be getting much more than $200.

You can be sure that the two employees and the store will be getting a visit from Coca-Cola's lawyers as well.
 
2012-10-18 03:31:57 PM  
NSFL (Not Safe for Lunch)
 
2012-10-18 03:32:00 PM  
a bottle of colorform

www.liveandlearn.com
 
2012-10-18 03:39:15 PM  
I used to work in a Dollar Tree here in San Diego. I remember one time while doing runback (basically putting stuff back in it's proper aisle) I found a woman stuffing her bra with vienna sausage cans.

/getting a kick
 
2012-10-18 03:40:25 PM  

Yaxe: I used to work in a Dollar Tree here in San Diego. I remember one time while doing runback (basically putting stuff back in it's proper aisle) I found a woman stuffing her bra with vienna sausage cans.

/getting a kick


Did you offer to stuff your wiener between her mammaries?
 
2012-10-18 03:47:40 PM  
Money for the gal (to help her get over her 911 fears)

Simple, misdemeanor assault charges for the original tamper-er (is there such a thing as attempted assault?)

Full-on Aggravated assault charges for the complete dipshiat who put the soda out to sell.
 
2012-10-18 03:49:59 PM  
u could have just put olestra chips on the counter. same result. but legal
 
2012-10-18 04:01:19 PM  

Johnnyflash: No way, not in the ghetto! I was on Troost once, stop lights and stop signs turned into yield signs real quick.


You sound sheltered.
 
2012-10-18 04:10:36 PM  
"I had a panic attack," she said. "It was close to 9/11 and I didn't know what was in that bottle."

Man, I was pretty sympathetic until she said something more stupid than even Fark's favorite extra chromosome photo guy wouldn't be dumb enough to say.
 
2012-10-18 04:11:11 PM  
... er, would.

learn to preview, dammit.
 
2012-10-18 04:25:19 PM  
the Family Dollar store at 3156 Troost Ave.

That food thief employee is lucky they didn't get shot.

/so is the manager
//and the pranked customer
 
2012-10-18 04:35:59 PM  
Chionuma said he also plans to seek punitive damages, something in the "six figures."

Yeah. Because that'll teach them dollar store hooligans a lesson or two.

Now what about the jackholes that pulled this prank?
 
2012-10-18 04:38:51 PM  

King Something: Mr. Cat Poop: I hope everyone involved in that story gets dysentery.

What good will sending them to Oregon do?


That game is proof that no one actually lives west of the Mississippi river. They could have never made it alive.
 
2012-10-18 04:51:37 PM  
Nelson's lawyer, Chuck Chionuma, said his client suffered from pre-existing medical conditions, including acid reflux, made worse by the laxative episode.

After she left the hospital, where she was treated with intravenous fluids for dehydration and cramps, Nelson said the company contacted her.


Holy crap, I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Just one recommended dose of those tablets essentially makes your gut do contortions. The poor woman must have felt her bowels were first tied up in knots, then exploding.
 
2012-10-18 04:55:11 PM  
Good luck getting six figures out of a dollar store!
 
2012-10-18 05:07:46 PM  

DontMakeMeComeBackThere: Money for the gal (to help her get over her 911 fears)

Simple, misdemeanor assault charges for the original tamper-er (is there such a thing as attempted assault?)

Full-on Aggravated assault charges for the complete dipshiat who put the soda out to sell.


I'm with you on the employees, but with THX for the girl - Pay the hospital bill and a few hundred for her trouble. If the pills were undissolved, that means she didn't get a full dose. Still, not knowing what they were I could see a panic attack.

Though I get the feeling that the employees are going to be in much the same boat. The first will get hit with elevated charges for tampering with/faking a safety seal. The second for knowingly placing adulterated goods out for sale.

/Went through enough effort to 'fix' the safety seal but didn't bother to make sure the pills were completely dissolved?
 
2012-10-18 05:17:26 PM  
FTA: ""You have to be responsible for what your employees have done," Nelson said.


This is bad news...


img2-cdn.newser.com


For Obama.
 
2012-10-18 05:20:16 PM  
I think hitting the company with some punitive damages is warranted. While they didn't exactly encourage their employees to do this sort of thing, I bet they were absolutely scraping the bottom of the barrel in terms of hiring practices, in order to pay lower wages. Hiring unprofessional employees who endanger customers needs to have some sort of cost to the organization.
 
2012-10-18 05:46:51 PM  
I love the whole "Here's a $200 gift card to shut up and go away" part
 
2012-10-18 10:37:08 PM  
Wait a second, spiking drink/food stories aside.

Who the hell at any kind of variety store pulls items out of the employee fridge and puts it out for sale to customers?
 
2012-10-19 06:51:24 AM  

Mitrovarr: I bet they were absolutely scraping the bottom of the barrel in terms of hiring practices, in order to pay lower wages.

While this seems a good idea at first, on the other hand don't we have enough problems with employment as is without making it even harder for 'bottom barrel' people to find work?

Hiring unprofessional employees who endanger customers needs to have some sort of cost to the organization.

I'll agree on this; but even with incidents like this it shouldn't be much problem.

 
2012-10-19 07:09:56 AM  

DownDaRiver: Wait a second, spiking drink/food stories aside.

Who the hell at any kind of variety store pulls items out of the employee fridge and puts it out for sale to customers?


store doesn't. gay employee does
 
2012-10-21 04:46:00 AM  

Jon iz teh kewl: store doesn't. gay employee does


II wouldn't have said 'gay employee', I'd have said 'asshole employee'.
 
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