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(Deadline)   Emmanuelle in Heaven   (deadline.com ) divider line
    More: Sad, Emmanuelle, erotic films, Get Smart, Concorde, American films, Lady Chatterley  
•       •       •

11596 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 18 Oct 2012 at 8:56 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2012-10-18 09:10:18 AM  
24 votes:

i.ytimg.com

R.I.P. Emmanuel

2012-10-18 10:03:46 AM  
6 votes:

gunga galunga: TheraTx: [i.ytimg.com image 480x360]

R.I.P. Emmanuel

OK, anybody mind splainin' this to us tards what don't get it?


Come sit next to my rocker, son.

Back in the day, we didn't have this fancy cable telivision with 43 channels of HBO, Cinemax, and AMC, we had crapass stuff like ONTV.
This consisted of a shoebox sized settop box with a single knob. You would tune (analog, mind you) to channel three or four, depending on your service, and - oops, unplug the Telstar Ranger because there was only one input on your television, and hook up your "cable" and stand at the TV and turn it's channels until you saw something you liked. If you changed your mind about the show you would have to call your kids over to change the channel again. There were subscriptions available for late night viewing, and if you didn't subscribe, it came in scrambled. We're not talking about 256 bit encryption now, we're talking they would run the picture 50% to the right and make the lines wiggly. This is what we learned how to masturbate to. This is why we're a mess.
2012-10-18 09:23:03 AM  
4 votes:
cineplex.media.baselineresearch.com
likethe80s.files.wordpress.com
www.starscolor.com

Ah yes, Sylvia Kristel..I'm sure plenty of other guys my age rubbed one out to her at least once. Showtime "After Hours" showed her movies quite frequently. I doubt today's studs would find those movies appealing, however..the fact that she had an actual bush and no tattoos would scare their fragile little selves away, I'm certain.
2012-10-18 04:57:13 PM  
2 votes:

groppet: Wow this thread is a trip in the wayback machine. Kids today got it easy with their internet porn


Maybe I'm showing my age, but I'm glad I have memories of softcore porn on Skinemax instead of the hardcore stuff on the internet. Decades later, I remember the movies mentioned in this thread.This has been a fun thread for a lot of us. You think thirty years from now the kiddies of today will reminisce over "redhead gets a facial" that that watched on Spankwire?
2012-10-18 09:51:18 AM  
2 votes:

zappaisfrank:
I had a TV that had a fine tuning adjustment for each channel that you could tweak just right and the premium channels would be visible most of the time, not always, and usually in black and white and substandard sound, but it was better than nothing.


I found that changing the channel on my TV from 3 to 4 stabilized the picture... So you ended up with the same black and white picture but with no sound.

In a time before the internets it was the greatest discovery of my teenage life.
2012-10-18 09:32:07 AM  
2 votes:

gunga galunga: TheraTx: [i.ytimg.com image 480x360]

R.I.P. Emmanuel

OK, anybody mind splainin' this to us tards what don't get it?


That's what a scrambled premium channel used to look like in the days before digital boxes, meaning if your cable company offered a naughty channel, you could tune your TV to that channel and see the scrambled version, which had skewed video (as seen in this pic) and full sound. So, you could hear the action, and catch glimpses of the general goings-on if you tilted your head and squinted.
2012-10-18 03:40:23 PM  
1 vote:
French Postcards
Gwendolyn

Also: Props to rillettes for mentioning Bleu Nuit.
Also also: Stop with the wanking stories, you dwankies.
2012-10-18 02:39:20 PM  
1 vote:

PainInTheASP: steve_lou: Don't you die too, Shannon Tweed!

Four words: Hot Dog: The Movie.

/Of course, I preferred Sunny side up...and Sunny side down...and Sunny side all the way around!


I'd kick ass-blast 'er... if you get my drift.
2012-10-18 01:47:57 PM  
1 vote:
Growing up as a teenager in Quebec in the early '80s, we had the joy of watching Bleu Nuit on regular tv, unscrambled, no cable or box required. All the European soft porn you can imagine.

Saturday nights, 11:30pm, you had the option of watching SNL or jackoff material. I would just flip back and forth between commercials.

Seeing as how some of you are experts, does anyone remember a film called "Les filles de Madame Claude"? I think Murray Head, the singer, was in it.
2012-10-18 12:12:43 PM  
1 vote:

mainstreet62: EARGUY!

Why haven't you started posting boobs yet? Is this not an appropriate thread to do so?

/please?


Working, posting from phone. Binder full of women at home.
2012-10-18 12:08:26 PM  
1 vote:
imageshack.us
2012-10-18 11:25:54 AM  
1 vote:

macadamnut: This thread reminded me of this:

[bt.eutorrents.com image 434x586]

Cinemax, you magnificent bastard!


Posting David Hamilton movies covers or no is probably not the best idea to do on fark. If I have to elaborate then really you should google his name.
2012-10-18 11:17:33 AM  
1 vote:

macadamnut: This thread reminded me of this:

[bt.eutorrents.com image 434x586]

Cinemax, you magnificent bastard!


David Hamilton was a serious lamb connoisseur

/tooooo young
2012-10-18 10:52:33 AM  
1 vote:

TheraTx: [i.ytimg.com image 480x360]

R.I.P. Emmanuel


You, sir, don't win the Internet.

You win EVERYTHING.
2012-10-18 10:48:43 AM  
1 vote:
Every couple of months skinemax would run "free preview weekends" and show nothing but Emmanuelle movies. The young lads all considered those weekends national holidays.

Rest in peace, Sylvia Kristel.
2012-10-18 10:33:29 AM  
1 vote:
ecx.images-amazon.com

Another Skinimax staple.
2012-10-18 10:16:39 AM  
1 vote:

R.A.Danny: gunga galunga: TheraTx: [i.ytimg.com image 480x360]

R.I.P. Emmanuel

OK, anybody mind splainin' this to us tards what don't get it?

Come sit next to my rocker, son.

Back in the day, we didn't have this fancy cable telivision with 43 channels of HBO, Cinemax, and AMC, we had crapass stuff like ONTV.
This consisted of a shoebox sized settop box with a single knob. You would tune (analog, mind you) to channel three or four, depending on your service, and - oops, unplug the Telstar Ranger because there was only one input on your television, and hook up your "cable" and stand at the TV and turn it's channels until you saw something you liked. If you changed your mind about the show you would have to call your kids over to change the channel again. There were subscriptions available for late night viewing, and if you didn't subscribe, it came in scrambled. We're not talking about 256 bit encryption now, we're talking they would run the picture 50% to the right and make the lines wiggly. This is what we learned how to masturbate to. This is why we're a mess.


overheardinthesacristy.files.wordpress.com
2012-10-18 10:15:06 AM  
1 vote:
Well, that's lame!

I'm a big fan of both the Emmanuelle and the Italian Black Emanuelle movies (props to the poster of tha Laura Gemsar picture earlier). I just finished my masters on Antonio Margheriti,and my intent was to do a couple journal articles and then, maybe try and do an Emmanuelle compendium, and submit it to MacFarlan publishers or something. No comphrehensive Emmanuelle book has been done (that I can find!).

I took my boxset of the early 90s Emmanuelle to be signed by George Lazenby at an autography show (he was the old man swapping love stories with Emmanuelle on the airplane in the series). He wasn't too thrilled and said it was "just a paycheck to him".

At another show, Summer Altice who signed my Emmanuelle 2000: Emmanuelle Pie, who thought it was an awesome thing to sign and was asking about the movie. Then at Comic Con 2008, Brinke Stevens was there and signed my Emmanuelle 4. She was like "I... I was in this? When?"

I know Alex Cox did a documentary on Emmanuelle, and mentions it on his website, but the link to buy it is "off", so I don't think it is available. I would love to see it!

Stay away from Emmanuelle in Rio - it's awful. There's a clip on youtube of a scene where the new Emmanuelle is rebuffing her boyfriend (for a misunderstanding), and it is awful. She keeps shouting "no no no, don't touch me" - as one of them is trying to get out the door, but it's so poorly acted it's hilarous.
2012-10-18 10:09:08 AM  
1 vote:

R.A.Danny: There were subscriptions available for late night viewing, and if you didn't subscribe, it came in scrambled. We're not talking about 256 bit encryption now, we're talking they would run the picture 50% to the right and make the lines wiggly. This is what we learned how to masturbate to. This is why we're a mess.


seems like only yesterday...
2012-10-18 09:56:29 AM  
1 vote:

Barricaded Gunman: Semi threadjack: Did any of you Farkers ever run across a late night European movie called "Run, Rabbit, Run"? Like so many late night movies from Europe, it was about a beautiful young girl's sexual awakening, and it used to be played in rotation with the Emmanuelle films. It contained enough envigorating scenes that I would plan an entire evening around staying up until 3 am to watch it... again.

Anyway, the reason I ask is that I'm looking to buy a copy of it for a research project, and I'm having trouble locating it anywhere.

/don't judge me


Found it under its original title:
blog.fakeanything.com

/saw the musical on Broadway
//Well you made a long journey from Milan to Minsk, Rochelle Rochelle.
You never stopped hoping. now you're in the Pinsk, Rochelle Rochelle.
When the nay sayers nay you picked up your pace.
You said nothing's going to stop me so get out of my face.
I'm having adventures all over the place,
Rochelle ROCHELLE!"
2012-10-18 09:52:49 AM  
1 vote:

Desquamation: I found that changing the channel on my TV from 3 to 4 stabilized the picture... So you ended up with the same black and white picture but with no sound.


I ran it through the VCR, which had one of those fine tuning knobs inside of the channel knob. Just the right pressure on it and you would have an almost clear picture.

Yes I now need to be in odd positions when having sex, why do you ask?
2012-10-18 09:50:02 AM  
1 vote:

TheraTx: [i.ytimg.com image 480x360]

R.I.P. Emmanuel


Did we all have the same youth?
2012-10-18 09:42:35 AM  
1 vote:

one0nine: EngineerBoy: gunga galunga: TheraTx: [i.ytimg.com image 480x360]

R.I.P. Emmanuel

OK, anybody mind splainin' this to us tards what don't get it?

That's what a scrambled premium channel used to look like in the days before digital boxes, meaning if your cable company offered a naughty channel, you could tune your TV to that channel and see the scrambled version, which had skewed video (as seen in this pic) and full sound. So, you could hear the action, and catch glimpses of the general goings-on if you tilted your head and squinted.

And if you messed around with the dial on your cable box just right and found that "sweet spot" between the channel clicks, every once in a while God would reward you with a glimpse of grainy, green titties in action.

/They didn't call it "Skinemax" for nothin'...
//1980s kid
///lawn, off, etc


I had a TV that had a fine tuning adjustment for each channel that you could tweak just right and the premium channels would be visible most of the time, not always, and usually in black and white and substandard sound, but it was better than nothing.
2012-10-18 09:36:09 AM  
1 vote:

EngineerBoy: gunga galunga: TheraTx: [i.ytimg.com image 480x360]

R.I.P. Emmanuel

OK, anybody mind splainin' this to us tards what don't get it?

That's what a scrambled premium channel used to look like in the days before digital boxes, meaning if your cable company offered a naughty channel, you could tune your TV to that channel and see the scrambled version, which had skewed video (as seen in this pic) and full sound. So, you could hear the action, and catch glimpses of the general goings-on if you tilted your head and squinted.


And if you messed around with the dial on your cable box just right and found that "sweet spot" between the channel clicks, every once in a while God would reward you with a glimpse of grainy, green titties in action.

/They didn't call it "Skinemax" for nothin'...
//1980s kid
///lawn, off, etc
2012-10-18 09:34:15 AM  
1 vote:

gunga galunga: TheraTx: [i.ytimg.com image 480x360]

R.I.P. Emmanuel

OK, anybody mind splainin' this to us tards what don't get it?


Back in the day, adult cable channels were scrambled, but often the audio was there. Every few seconds, you might see a slightly-less-scrambled bit of video; a breast, a thrusting torso, etc. Yes, we would fap to scrambled porno.

//adjusts onion, heads for lawn...
2012-10-18 09:33:02 AM  
1 vote:

gunga galunga: TheraTx: [i.ytimg.com image 480x360]

R.I.P. Emmanuel

OK, anybody mind splainin' this to us tards what don't get it?


In the '80s, the place to find Ms. Kristel's movies, and other softcore erotica, was on pay-cable channels such as HBO, Showtime, and especially Cinemax. Of course, not everyone's parents would spring for these channels. If they didn't, this is what you saw. Sometimes you could make out a nipple or an ass.
2012-10-18 09:24:07 AM  
1 vote:
1981′s Private Lessons, a film that itself was controversial for its time given its sexual themes.

Adult woman seduces underage boy - that film would never get greenlit today.

/"Pretty Baby" was released only 3 years earlier
//and they say we've become less sexually repressed in recent years
2012-10-18 09:16:11 AM  
1 vote:
Between the scramble pattern and the conflicted fapping, I have nothing to add.
2012-10-18 08:59:50 AM  
1 vote:
www.starscolor.com
2012-10-18 08:27:27 AM  
1 vote:
I have no idea how many times I yellowed my socks from her, but WOW was she good
 
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