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(Something Else Reviews)   Wolfgang Van Halen says what you've been thinking all along about One Direction   (somethingelsereviews.com) divider line 69
    More: Amusing, Wolfgang Wagner, NPR.com's A Blog Supreme, Mark Tremonti, Hotel Lobby, David Lee Roth, boy bands, Eddie Van Halen  
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8208 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 17 Oct 2012 at 4:25 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-10-17 12:59:56 PM
Van Halen, both father and son, are pretty well known to be enormous pricks, and I don't care about One Direction.
 
2012-10-17 01:01:53 PM
"I suck and Michael Anthony should kick me in the balls?"
 
2012-10-17 01:05:46 PM
I have heard that Eddie was quite a bastard during his drinking years, but I never heard anything bad about Wolf.

Then again, he could eat a puppy onstage and I would still admire him for bashing One Direction. My teenage daughter LOVES that group of ponces.

/vomit
 
2012-10-17 01:08:30 PM

AdolfOliverPanties: I have heard that Eddie was quite a bastard during his drinking years, but I never heard anything bad about Wolf.

Then again, he could eat a puppy onstage and I would still admire him for bashing One Direction. My teenage daughter LOVES that group of ponces.

/vomit


I am so very sorry.
 
2012-10-17 01:09:31 PM

ThatGuyFromTheInternet: "I suck and Michael Anthony should kick me in the balls?"


THIS!

Wolf, your father and uncle are complete pricks for what they did to Mike. If you'd had any class and balls, you'd have gone on tour with The Other Half.
 
2012-10-17 01:16:46 PM

AdolfOliverPanties: I have heard that Eddie was quite a bastard during his drinking years, but I never heard anything bad about Wolf.

Then again, he could eat a puppy onstage and I would still admire him for bashing One Direction. My teenage daughter LOVES that group of ponces.

/vomit


I hadn't even heard much about them until I went home to my parents' house for a visit a few weekends ago and my eleven year old sister asked me if I would take her and her friends to their concert in Portland. After looking them up, I explained to her that while I would love to, that would never ever happen, for reasons.
 
2012-10-17 01:19:20 PM

give me doughnuts: ThatGuyFromTheInternet: "I suck and Michael Anthony should kick me in the balls?"

THIS!

Wolf, your father and uncle are complete pricks for what they did to Mike. If you'd had any class and balls, you'd have gone on tour with The Other Half.


He's touring with Tremonti. Tremonti. Seriously, has anyone cared about him or Creed in the past ten years??

\and yes, they might not be as popular, but Chickenfoot > Post-Van Hagar, any day of the farking week.
 
2012-10-17 01:23:59 PM

FriarReb98: give me doughnuts: ThatGuyFromTheInternet: "I suck and Michael Anthony should kick me in the balls?"

THIS!

Wolf, your father and uncle are complete pricks for what they did to Mike. If you'd had any class and balls, you'd have gone on tour with The Other Half.

He's touring with Tremonti. Tremonti. Seriously, has anyone cared about him or Creed in the past ten years??

\and yes, they might not be as popular, but Chickenfoot > Post-Van Hagar, any day of the farking week.


It's hard to go wrong with that line-up.
 
2012-10-17 01:24:49 PM
Cool tweet, gigilbro.
 
2012-10-17 01:24:57 PM
I can't fault Wolf. Your dad comes to you when you're 14 or 15 and says hey, you wanna be onstage with your old man? He's not, at least then, involved with the politics of the band. Of course he says yes.

And he took the lead as far as getting a new record out, picking the songs, forcing rehearsals etc. He is the driving force behind the band now.

And Michael Anthony has been 100% a class act when talking about it too. Not a bad word to say, at least publicly, about the whole thing and Wolf in general.

Oh, and I don't know Tremonti, but Chickenfoot blows.
 
2012-10-17 01:40:10 PM
That Niall is the cutest but Louis is the one you'd really want to settle down with?
 
2012-10-17 01:45:35 PM
The best part of this is the tweets from OneDirection fans:

Link

They've never heard of Wolfgang Van Halen. Wow, what a shock.

Proudly, my daughter has, and even though she loves OneDirection, I have also gotten her to where she has classic rock, including Van Halen on her iPod. She has loaded up Beatles, Rush, Who, Led Zeppelin and others in addition to "1D" and all her teeny bopper bands and groups.
 
2012-10-17 01:58:48 PM

AdolfOliverPanties: Oh, and I don't know Tremonti, but Chickenfoot blows.


Okay, serious question: Did you like Van Hagar at all? My guess is no for you, because to me Chickenfoot is the better part of the Van Hagar years (read: the stuff Eddie didn't synth-masturbate on).

\like both Sammy & Dave, but they're completely different bands as far as I'm concerned
\\and this current abortion version of the Dave show is just sad in so many ways
 
2012-10-17 02:10:47 PM
Next up in opinions from people I don't give a shiat about Megan McCain will discuss Korn's latest album and Chelsea Clinton lists her favorite dub step albums.
 
2012-10-17 03:42:59 PM

FriarReb98: AdolfOliverPanties: Oh, and I don't know Tremonti, but Chickenfoot blows.

Okay, serious question: Did you like Van Hagar at all? My guess is no for you, because to me Chickenfoot is the better part of the Van Hagar years (read: the stuff Eddie didn't synth-masturbate on).

\like both Sammy & Dave, but they're completely different bands as far as I'm concerned
\\and this current abortion version of the Dave show is just sad in so many ways


I didn't vomit at "Why Can't This Be Love," as a catchy pop tune, but yeah, I can't stand Van Hagar. And that is because of two things. I can't stand Sammy Hagar is a big part of it. I've always thought Sammy had about four gears: songs about rock, songs about chicks, songs about partying, ballads to dance to at homecoming. And without the self-deprecating and clever humor Roth would inject into similar topics. Just never been a fan.
Reason two is Van Hagar music removed the balls from Eddie's guitar sound. Compressed, filtered, no longer the brown sound. Match that with Sammy's vanilla topics and it just sucked to me (but not as bad as Cherone!) From what I read, Eddie was out of control drunk during those years anyway.

I LOVE the new record with Dave. The brown sound is back, Eddie is reinvigorated, Wolfie is a much more interesting bassist than Michael Anthony (I have played bass for 30 years and I just always thought Mike was flat and bland on record,) and the songs are cheeky and fun.

The live versions of the songs show just how terrible Dave's voice is though. Really really bad. He really can barely sing live anymore.
 
2012-10-17 03:56:57 PM

give me doughnuts: ThatGuyFromTheInternet: "I suck and Michael Anthony should kick me in the balls?"

THIS!

Wolf, your father and uncle are complete pricks for what they did to Mike. If you'd had any class and balls, you'd have gone on tour with The Other Half.


Mike is out having fun with Chickenfoot, who I saw this summer. Good concert and he and Sammy, Joe and Kenny (the sub at the moment) looked like they were having a blast.
 
2012-10-17 04:27:44 PM
Yep, that shiat sucks, it's totally not rock and roll at all. You know what else isn't rock and roll at all? Playing in your dad's band.
 
2012-10-17 04:30:23 PM
I give Wolfgang a break because he is 1/2 Valerie Bertinelli
 
2012-10-17 04:33:15 PM

EyeballKid: Yep, that shiat sucks, it's totally not rock and roll at all. You know what else isn't rock and roll at all? Playing in your dad's band.


Whoa whoa whoa
 
2012-10-17 04:34:03 PM
Not to disturb the VH talk going on, but wtf did they do or say to him. That article was both difficult to read and uninformative.
 
2012-10-17 04:35:38 PM
Wolfie better watch his back not only is he going to have a gang of tweens on his trail, but everyone knows that Eddie does not like it when the bassist for Van Halen tries to ply his craft in a project other than Van Halen.
 
2012-10-17 04:39:56 PM

AdolfOliverPanties: I didn't vomit at "Why Can't This Be Love," as a catchy pop tune, but yeah, I can't stand Van Hagar. And that is because of two things. I can't stand Sammy Hagar is a big part of it. I've always thought Sammy had about four gears: songs about rock, songs about chicks, songs about partying, ballads to dance to at homecoming. And without the self-deprecating and clever humor Roth would inject into similar topics. Just never been a fan.
Reason two is Van Hagar music removed the balls from Eddie's guitar sound. Compressed, filtered, no longer the brown sound. Match that with Sammy's vanilla topics and it just sucked to me (but not as bad as Cherone!) From what I read, Eddie was out of control drunk during those years anyway.


THIS

EyeballKid: Yep, that shiat sucks, it's totally not rock and roll at all. You know what else isn't rock and roll at all? Playing in your dad's band.


THAT

jj325: I give Wolfgang a break because he is 1/2 Valerie Bertinelli


and omfg THIS!

That about sums up VH for me. Thanks for sharing.
 
2012-10-17 04:40:36 PM

LewDux: EyeballKid: Yep, that shiat sucks, it's totally not rock and roll at all. You know what else isn't rock and roll at all? Playing in your dad's band.

Whoa whoa whoa


Wow. That sucked so bad I was stuck to my screen for about five minutes.
 
2012-10-17 04:46:18 PM
Wolfgang, One Direction, Creed, this reporter and every professional woman tennis player could all crash into the ocean tomorrow and not one fark would be given by me.
 
2012-10-17 04:49:43 PM
"shiat sandwich"?
 
2012-10-17 04:50:31 PM

LewDux: EyeballKid: Yep, that shiat sucks, it's totally not rock and roll at all. You know what else isn't rock and roll at all? Playing in your dad's band.

Whoa whoa whoa


I want to kick you repeatedly.
 
2012-10-17 04:50:37 PM

EyeballKid: Yep, that shiat sucks, it's totally not rock and roll at all. You know what else isn't rock and roll at all? Playing in your dad's band.


Yes, Led Zeppelin became totally pussified when they let John Bonham sit in on drums for his old man.
 
2012-10-17 04:50:41 PM
My 6 year old hates One Direction, but he likes Nicki Minaj.

/this is relevant
 
2012-10-17 04:51:12 PM
(by which I mean Jason Bonham.)
 
2012-10-17 04:54:07 PM
Wait...a guy playing with Creed is not allowed to trash ANY music...
 
2012-10-17 04:57:37 PM

Pr1nc3ss: My 6 year old hates One Direction, but he likes Nicki Minaj.


I'm an honestly at a loss as to determine which is worse.
 
kab
2012-10-17 04:58:50 PM
Nothing says "rock n' roll" like whining about some other shiatty group on twattertm.

Good job.
 
2012-10-17 05:01:04 PM
Gonna have to side with the boy band on this one. Fark Wolfgang and his dad.
 
2012-10-17 05:04:24 PM
...guitarist and band co-founder Eddie Van Halen - had to undergo surgery after a serious bout of diverticulitis.

There's no end to that asshole.
 
2012-10-17 05:11:29 PM
"Wolfgang Van Halen" isn't a name that should be in a band. It should be part of a circumstance that requires it to be the start of the sentence: "... who last year held President Braunsteel hostage at goose-point before the Law-Abiders brought him down, has now aimed a Death Ray at the Olympic Origami Training Facility, demanding two billion dollars in after-dinner mints, or he pushes the button."
 
2012-10-17 05:12:36 PM
I'm blissfully unaware of this "One Direction". In fact, I think this headline was only the 3rd or 4th time I've even heard the name. It sounds like a bad Christian band parody.

/the benefits of never listening to a radio, save for a classical station when I go to bed
//or living in Sweden. I've no idea if they're big here or not
 
2012-10-17 05:18:56 PM

Craptastic: LewDux: EyeballKid: Yep, that shiat sucks, it's totally not rock and roll at all. You know what else isn't rock and roll at all? Playing in your dad's band.

Whoa whoa whoa

I want to kick you repeatedly.




♫One man one goal one mission,
One heart one soul just one solution,
One flash of light yeah one god one vision

One flesh one bone,
One true religion,
One voice one hope,
One real decision,
Wowowowo gimme One Direction ♫
 
2012-10-17 05:20:43 PM
Regardless of what you think of them or their music, you should watch this:

http://www.wired.com/underwire/2012/0 5/archer-one-direction-fanfic/
 
2012-10-17 05:24:47 PM

swahnhennessy: I'm blissfully unaware of this "One Direction". In fact, I think this headline was only the 3rd or 4th time I've even heard the name. It sounds like a bad Christian band parody.

/the benefits of never listening to a radio, save for a classical station when I go to bed
//or living in Sweden. I've no idea if they're big here or not


They were "formed" on the Fall 2010 season of British X Factor. Here's how they're doing in Sweden. First album was number 1 last December and is still on the Swedish charts at number 36. And I guess you post implies you didn't watch or weren't paying attention to the Olympic opening ceremonies.

http://swedishcharts.com/showinterpret.asp?interpret=One+Direction
 
2012-10-17 05:26:37 PM

12349876: And I guess you post implies you didn't watch or weren't paying attention to the Olympic opening ceremonies.


I streamed them with a friend from the US. I was drunk. I remember a lot of the music montage stuff, but not them. So I guess I have been exposed. But thanks to whiskey I do not remember.

God, I love this stuff.
 
2012-10-17 05:45:44 PM
The difference is no one in One Direction has diverticulitis so they're still out there on the road making their fans happy!

/not a fan of One Direction OR Van Halen
 
2012-10-17 05:46:29 PM
Is it "Who the hell is One Direction?"?

Because thats all I've been thinking about them.
 
2012-10-17 05:47:26 PM
Another way to look at this is that One Direction says what we've all been thinking about Creed.
 
2012-10-17 05:52:39 PM
We've got diverticulitis!
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-10-17 05:55:51 PM

LewDux: Craptastic: LewDux: EyeballKid: Yep, that shiat sucks, it's totally not rock and roll at all. You know what else isn't rock and roll at all? Playing in your dad's band.

Whoa whoa whoa

I want to kick you repeatedly.



♫One man one goal one mission,
One heart one soul just one solution,
One flash of light yeah one god one vision

One flesh one bone,
One true religion,
One voice one hope,
One real decision,
Wowowowo gimme One Direction ♫

 

images1.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2012-10-17 06:19:03 PM
Ugh... I'm pretty sure clicking through those retardedly-spelled tweets gave me brain cancer. Whose idea was it to give a forum like that to idiot children?
 
2012-10-17 06:36:59 PM
It has been my observation that neither Van Halen, Van Hagar, nor One Direction are enjoyable musical groups.

/That's science, not opinion
 
2012-10-17 06:58:26 PM

ThatGuyFromTheInternet: "I suck and Michael Anthony should kick me in the balls?"

 
2012-10-17 07:00:14 PM
Well we all know Wolfgang will get the last laugh, his career is just starting and this cookie cutter boy band will be yesterdays news in about 20 more minutes.
 
2012-10-17 07:17:59 PM

henryhill: Gonna have to side with the boy band on this one. Fark Wolfgang and his dad.


I'd rather fark his mom.
 
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