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(Anchorage Daily News)   "Deadliest Catch" star caught urinating in a puddle, and other awesomeness from the Unalaska Police Blotter   (adn.com) divider line 68
    More: Amusing, Unalaska, Aleutian Islands  
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11136 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Oct 2012 at 10:38 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-10-17 10:41:11 AM  
Unsecured Premise - Caller reported that roofing on a neighboring house was flapping in the brisk Aleutian breeze. An officer contacted the homeowner and advised her of the problem.


I'm sure it was the roof...
 
2012-10-17 10:45:23 AM  
Maybe he had crabs.
 
2012-10-17 10:45:51 AM  

blatz514: Unsecured Premise - Caller reported that roofing on a neighboring house was flapping in the brisk Aleutian breeze. An officer contacted the homeowner and advised her of the problem.


I'm sure it was the roof...


Cheap metal roofing and a sustained 15-25 mph wind on a calm day will do that. Imagine the 4-5 winter storms that are like a Cat 1 coming ashore each year. Fun, games and -70F or colder good times
 
2012-10-17 10:46:29 AM  
The other stories on the police blotter are great.
FTA: Suspicious Person/Activity - Officer seized and destroyed an 18-pack of beer that had been left unattended near an intersection.
 
2012-10-17 10:49:28 AM  
Is that Alaska's version of The Onion?
 
2012-10-17 10:49:39 AM  

Smeggy Smurf: blatz514: Unsecured Premise - Caller reported that roofing on a neighboring house was flapping in the brisk Aleutian breeze. An officer contacted the homeowner and advised her of the problem.


I'm sure it was the roof...

Cheap metal roofing and a sustained 15-25 mph wind on a calm day will do that. Imagine the 4-5 winter storms that are like a Cat 1 coming ashore each year. Fun, games and -70F or colder good times


I was going for more of "a penis flapping in the breeze," but your answer will suffice.
 
2012-10-17 10:49:45 AM  

6655321: The other stories on the police blotter are great.
FTA: Suspicious Person/Activity - Officer seized and destroyed an 18-pack of beer that had been left unattended near an intersection.


i38.photobucket.com
 
2012-10-17 10:49:56 AM  
Suspicious Person/Activity - Officer seized and destroyed an 18-pack of beer that had been left unattended near an intersection.

Hmmm, the cop said it was a 12 pack.
 
2012-10-17 10:50:23 AM  

Mr.Hawk: Is that Alaska's version of The Onion?


Unalaska is Alaska's Florida.
 
2012-10-17 10:51:30 AM  

sulco: Suspicious Person/Activity - Officer seized and destroyed an 18-pack of beer that had been left unattended near an intersection.

Hmmm, the cop said it was a 12 pack.


with a street value of $2,800 ?
 
2012-10-17 10:51:47 AM  
Two taxi drivers reported that they were each being harassed by the other, via rude phone calls. An officer suggested they might want to consider not phoning one another, thus possibly alleviating the problem.

How many taxi drivers can Unalaska possibly have? It would warm my cockles if these were the only two.
 
2012-10-17 10:51:53 AM  
Suspicious Person/Activity - Officer observed a "Deadliest Catch" star urinating in puddle and advised the man, as he zipped his pants and denied any such activity, that it was illegal to urinate in public.

Probably the douchier Hillstrand brother (Jonathan) or Jake Harris...
 
2012-10-17 10:57:46 AM  

YixilTesiphon: Two taxi drivers reported that they were each being harassed by the other, via rude phone calls. An officer suggested they might want to consider not phoning one another, thus possibly alleviating the problem.

How many taxi drivers can Unalaska possibly have? It would warm my cockles if these were the only two.


About 100. And they're crazy farks.
 
2012-10-17 10:57:50 AM  
As a previous visitor to Dutch Harbor, this is pretty interesting. A brisk Aleutian breeze can easily reach 80 mph and has been recorded over 100 mph on numerous occasions. Also on the island is one of the most dangerous bars in America, as per an article that I believe was written by Playboy. And yes the bar really is very rough, I do not remember its name. Dutch Harbor is a very small island full of transient workers who only visit to take part in the seasonal fishing. When not on the boats there really is nothing to do on the island. I am not making this up, nothing to do. All of the fishermen and fisherwomen drink and drink heavily, because that is the only way to forget that you are on an island in the middle of nowhere and that your boat is probably a better place to be than the island. That was the only place that I have ever been when I wanted to stay on my vessel more than I wanted to visit the town. I remember going to the supply store and watching a boat crew chief buy a pallet of cigarettes to go with his pallet of food. Read that again, he bought a pallet of ciagarettes. I saw him wheel it out of the store. That is some hard core stuff. I know the boats can go out for over a month at a time, but with only a few people on board that many cigs could only be spread around so far. Dutch was a great place to visit and see all of the cool WWII stuff around. The Bald Eagles were everywhere and I am glad that I got to visit, but I would never want to live there. It is way to isolated for me and I am a country boy who loves not seeing his neighbors.
 
2012-10-17 10:58:10 AM  
Holy crap, I've never had a submitted headline accepted and THIS gets greenlit?!
 
2012-10-17 10:59:19 AM  

Mr.Hawk: Is that Alaska's version of The Onion?


Yes, but this is real, and the police scribe went did the same correspondence school as Radar O'Reilly.
 
2012-10-17 10:59:24 AM  
...shot in the carwash? I've never heard of anyone calling a penis that.
 
2012-10-17 11:00:01 AM  

special20: ...shot in the carwash? I've never heard of anyone calling a penis that.


next thread over... this makes sense.
 
2012-10-17 11:00:57 AM  

bwilson27: YixilTesiphon: Two taxi drivers reported that they were each being harassed by the other, via rude phone calls. An officer suggested they might want to consider not phoning one another, thus possibly alleviating the problem.

How many taxi drivers can Unalaska possibly have? It would warm my cockles if these were the only two.

About 100. And they're crazy farks.


Yes, there are many taxis on the island. Most people are migrant workers who follow the fishing seasons.
 
2012-10-17 11:00:57 AM  

theesir: Holy crap, I've never had a submitted headline accepted and THIS gets greenlit?!


Fark loves making fun of dumb criminals. It's up there with kittens, Duke sucks and rumors of Firefly remake.
 
2012-10-17 11:02:48 AM  

balfourk: As a previous visitor to Dutch Harbor, this is pretty interesting. A brisk Aleutian breeze can easily reach 80 mph and has been recorded over 100 mph on numerous occasions. Also on the island is one of the most dangerous bars in America, as per an article that I believe was written by Playboy. And yes the bar really is very rough, I do not remember its name. .


The Elbow Room.
Meh.
 
2012-10-17 11:10:07 AM  

Fark You Buddy: Suspicious Person/Activity - Officer observed a "Deadliest Catch" star urinating in puddle and advised the man, as he zipped his pants and denied any such activity, that it was illegal to urinate in public.

Probably the douchier Hillstrand brother (Jonathan) or Jake Harris...


My first thought was Jake. Jonathan is obnoxious, but Jake is just a farking moron who needs to get his shiat straight. I feel bad for his brother.
 
2012-10-17 11:11:12 AM  
"Suspicious Person/Activity - Officer seized and destroyed an 18-pack of beer that had been left unattended near an intersection."

Seized and destroyed by drinking it I would imagine.
 
2012-10-17 11:13:01 AM  

6655321: The other stories on the police blotter are great.
FTA: Suspicious Person/Activity - Officer seized and destroyed consumed an 18-pack of beer that had been left unattended near an intersection.


FTFY
 
2012-10-17 11:16:41 AM  
I destroyed an 18-pack last Saturday.
 
2012-10-17 11:17:49 AM  
And not a single citation or arrest listed. Not that I'm complaining about easygoing cops, but do these guys recruit in Mayberry?
 
2012-10-17 11:23:49 AM  
YixilTesiphon
2012-10-17 10:51:47 AM
Two taxi drivers reported that they were each being harassed by the other, via rude phone calls. An officer suggested they might want to consider not phoning one another, thus possibly alleviating the problem.

How many taxi drivers can Unalaska possibly have? It would warm my cockles if these were the only two. 


Yes, even if these are not the only two. This is the best entry on the blotter. This is the making of another reality show. This my friends. Be afraid. Real Taxis of Unalaska.
 
2012-10-17 11:24:26 AM  
I love small town police blotters. They can be such fun.
 
2012-10-17 11:24:47 AM  

blatz514: Smeggy Smurf: blatz514: Unsecured Premise - Caller reported that roofing on a neighboring house was flapping in the brisk Aleutian breeze. An officer contacted the homeowner and advised her of the problem.


I'm sure it was the roof...

Cheap metal roofing and a sustained 15-25 mph wind on a calm day will do that. Imagine the 4-5 winter storms that are like a Cat 1 coming ashore each year. Fun, games and -70F or colder good times

I was going for more of "a penis flapping in the breeze," but your answer will suffice.


It's already winter up there. It's not flapping, it's frozen stiff
 
2012-10-17 11:29:08 AM  
Suspicious Person/Activity - Officer seized and destroyed an 18-pack of beer that had been left unattended near an intersection.
www.legaljuice.com
Picture of unidentified officer after "destroying" said beer
 
2012-10-17 11:29:57 AM  

Fark You Buddy: Suspicious Person/Activity - Officer observed a "Deadliest Catch" star urinating in puddle and advised the man, as he zipped his pants and denied any such activity, that it was illegal to urinate in public.

Probably the douchier Hillstrand brother (Jonathan) or Jake Harris...


I'm vouching for Jake Harris.... or it could be Keith Colburn images4.fanpop.com
 
2012-10-17 11:32:47 AM  

6655321: The other stories on the police blotter are great.
FTA: Suspicious Person/Activity - Officer seized and destroyed an 18-pack of beer that had been left unattended near an intersection.


It's an epidemic. I stopped by our shop the other night and spotted a case of beer that someone has stashed under our truck. We've had a problem with kids hanging out by the shop, tagging it, breaking windows, leaving their empties, etc. I just called the cops to deal with it. Why didn't I just take it home?? Two words: Keystone Light.
 
2012-10-17 11:34:39 AM  

ddam: Fark loves making fun of dumb criminals. It's up there with kittens, Duke sucks and rumors of Firefly remake.


Guaranteed green:

Dumb criminal kidnaps kittens as Duke sucks amid rumors of a Firefly remake
 
2012-10-17 11:37:14 AM  
Let's erect a statue to this guy.

i.imgur.com
 
2012-10-17 11:39:39 AM  

Smeggy Smurf: blatz514: Unsecured Premise - Caller reported that roofing on a neighboring house was flapping in the brisk Aleutian breeze. An officer contacted the homeowner and advised her of the problem.


I'm sure it was the roof...

Cheap metal roofing and a sustained 15-25 mph wind on a calm day will do that. Imagine the 4-5 winter storms that are like a Cat 1 coming ashore each year. Fun, games and -70F or colder good times


The record low for Unalaska is -8F. -70 is more of an interior thing.
 
2012-10-17 11:42:58 AM  

wambu: Let's erect a statue to this guy.

[i.imgur.com image 217x290]


Look up. You'll see where that picture should belong.
 
2012-10-17 11:52:30 AM  

Wasilla Hillbilly: Smeggy Smurf: blatz514: Unsecured Premise - Caller reported that roofing on a neighboring house was flapping in the brisk Aleutian breeze. An officer contacted the homeowner and advised her of the problem.


I'm sure it was the roof...

Cheap metal roofing and a sustained 15-25 mph wind on a calm day will do that. Imagine the 4-5 winter storms that are like a Cat 1 coming ashore each year. Fun, games and -70F or colder good times

The record low for Unalaska is -8F. -70 is more of an interior thing.


And up here in the interior, we still have people who think a blue plastic tarp is valid roofing materiel. You have to love a state where once you get about a mile from the center of town, building codes are more suggestions than rules.

buckler: And not a single citation or arrest listed. Not that I'm complaining about easygoing cops, but do these guys recruit in Mayberry?


Alaska kind of is like Mayberry, especially once you're past tourist/fishing season. Unless you're in Anchorage, or in downtown Fairbanks, odds on, when a cop responds to something, the officer and the person getting busted are on a first name basis. The whole state is a series of small towns and villages, with the exception of a couple of population centers.
 
2012-10-17 11:53:09 AM  

balfourk: As a previous visitor to Dutch Harbor, this is pretty interesting. A brisk Aleutian breeze can easily reach 80 mph and has been recorded over 100 mph on numerous occasions. Also on the island is one of the most dangerous bars in America, as per an article that I believe was written by Playboy. And yes the bar really is very rough, I do not remember its name. Dutch Harbor is a very small island full of transient workers who only visit to take part in the seasonal fishing. When not on the boats there really is nothing to do on the island. I am not making this up, nothing to do. All of the fishermen and fisherwomen drink and drink heavily, because that is the only way to forget that you are on an island in the middle of nowhere and that your boat is probably a better place to be than the island. That was the only place that I have ever been when I wanted to stay on my vessel more than I wanted to visit the town. I remember going to the supply store and watching a boat crew chief buy a pallet of cigarettes to go with his pallet of food. Read that again, he bought a pallet of ciagarettes. I saw him wheel it out of the store. That is some hard core stuff. I know the boats can go out for over a month at a time, but with only a few people on board that many cigs could only be spread around so far. Dutch was a great place to visit and see all of the cool WWII stuff around. The Bald Eagles were everywhere and I am glad that I got to visit, but I would never want to live there. It is way to isolated for me and I am a country boy who loves not seeing his neighbors.


'the elbow room'.

fun place if you're into being hit on by aleutian women with two teeth and better facial hair than you.

the eagles are like rats up there, like they are in most of alaska. more of a nuisance than anything else.
 
2012-10-17 11:55:37 AM  

JackieRabbit: I love small town police blotters. They can be such fun.


The Arcata Eye is the best.

Link


2:36 p.m. A bike left unlocked at an I Street ice cream shop disappered faster than an artisinally crafted peach cobbler cone.
 
2012-10-17 12:05:07 PM  

devildog123: Wasilla Hillbilly: Smeggy Smurf: blatz514: Unsecured Premise - Caller reported that roofing on a neighboring house was flapping in the brisk Aleutian breeze. An officer contacted the homeowner and advised her of the problem.


I'm sure it was the roof...

Cheap metal roofing and a sustained 15-25 mph wind on a calm day will do that. Imagine the 4-5 winter storms that are like a Cat 1 coming ashore each year. Fun, games and -70F or colder good times

The record low for Unalaska is -8F. -70 is more of an interior thing.

And up here in the interior, we still have people who think a blue plastic tarp is valid roofing materiel. You have to love a state where once you get about a mile from the center of town, building codes are more suggestions than rules.

buckler: And not a single citation or arrest listed. Not that I'm complaining about easygoing cops, but do these guys recruit in Mayberry?

Alaska kind of is like Mayberry, especially once you're past tourist/fishing season. Unless you're in Anchorage, or in downtown Fairbanks, odds on, when a cop responds to something, the officer and the person getting busted are on a first name basis. The whole state is a series of small towns and villages, with the exception of a couple of population centers.


I have family that lives in Cooper Landing. I think they do the policing themselves.
 
2012-10-17 12:34:24 PM  

clear_prop: Mr.Hawk: Is that Alaska's version of The Onion?

Unalaska is Alaska's Florida.


That's Unamerican!
 
2012-10-17 12:37:26 PM  

devildog123: Alaska kind of is like Mayberry, especially once you're past tourist/fishing season. Unless you're in Anchorage, or in downtown Fairbanks, odds on, when a cop responds to something, the officer and the person getting busted are on a first name basis. The whole state is a series of small towns and villages, with the exception of a couple of population centers.


Grew up in small town in northern Maine, pretty much this. The cops are likely to say Carl you dumbshiat go home and sober up.

/If it was not theft, DUI, assault, or child abuse they let it go.
 
2012-10-17 12:48:42 PM  

Gough: 6655321: The other stories on the police blotter are great.
FTA: Suspicious Person/Activity - Officer seized and destroyed an 18-pack of beer that had been left unattended near an intersection.

It's an epidemic. I stopped by our shop the other night and spotted a case of beer that someone has stashed under our truck. We've had a problem with kids hanging out by the shop, tagging it, breaking windows, leaving their empties, etc. I just called the cops to deal with it. Why didn't I just take it home?? Two words: Keystone Light.


Keith Stone, he's so smooth.
 
2012-10-17 12:56:37 PM  
I figured it was Sig, that man has issues. (Bet he buys his cigs by the palletload too.)
 
2012-10-17 01:05:09 PM  
When I was in the military I spent a week at Eielson AFB, about 30 miles outside Fairbanks. The newspaper from the closest town North Pole, published the police blotter every week. The week I was there there were about 30 entries, 27 of which were drunk driving arrests. The other three were domestic violence, a car break in, and a vehicle hits Moose.
 
2012-10-17 01:21:49 PM  

blunttrauma: When I was in the military I spent a week at Eielson AFB, about 30 miles outside Fairbanks. The newspaper from the closest town North Pole, published the police blotter every week. The week I was there there were about 30 entries, 27 of which were drunk driving arrests. The other three were domestic violence, a car break in, and a vehicle hits Moose.


Throw in the occasional meth bust, and it's pretty much the same thing these days.
 
2012-10-17 01:25:16 PM  

Louisiana_Sitar_Club: ddam: Fark loves making fun of dumb criminals. It's up there with kittens, Duke sucks and rumors of Firefly remake.

Guaranteed green:

Dumb criminal kidnaps kittens as Duke sucks amid rumors of a Firefly remake


Pick any article at random and submit it with that headline if you're starved for a green.
 
2012-10-17 01:27:18 PM  

Wasilla Hillbilly: Smeggy Smurf: blatz514: Unsecured Premise - Caller reported that roofing on a neighboring house was flapping in the brisk Aleutian breeze. An officer contacted the homeowner and advised her of the problem.


I'm sure it was the roof...

Cheap metal roofing and a sustained 15-25 mph wind on a calm day will do that. Imagine the 4-5 winter storms that are like a Cat 1 coming ashore each year. Fun, games and -70F or colder good times

The record low for Unalaska is -8F. -70 is more of an interior thing.


I should have said windchill. There's nothing like 80mph winds in the winter coming off the ocean.

I spent 5 years as a kid on Kodiak through 2 tours at the air station. Good times.
 
2012-10-17 01:27:41 PM  
Suspicious Person/Activity - Officer seized and destroyed an 18-pack of beer that had been left unattended near an intersection.

Yeah. Destroyed that 18-pack like I destroyed your mom last night.
 
2012-10-17 01:41:42 PM  
Yeah, one small town in which I lived would get a weekly State Trooper drive-through. He normally wouldn't stop, but just drive the small cirlce that is our town and head back to wherever. Essentially there was zero police presence unless something major went down (which, admittedly was not hugely uncommon). Still seeing a cop was notably rare, and, for the most part, things went along about as smoothly as any other random small town.

To somewhat better tie this into the conversation, the coldest I've actually experienced while being aware of the temperature was -58F. Far from any all time records but definitely cold enough. This being SE interior Alaska.
 
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