If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(610 WIOD)   "I got my toe stuck in the faucet." "My dog is having a nervous breakdown." "A coyote dragged my pet goat into the woods"   (610wiod.com) divider line 70
    More: Stupid, CareerBuilder, absenteeism, nervous breakdowns, faucets  
•       •       •

7734 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Oct 2012 at 1:36 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



70 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-10-15 03:18:15 PM  
If someone calls and says they've been sprayed by a skunk, I'd really rather they didn't come in to the office and prove it, if that's OK by you.
 
2012-10-15 03:21:26 PM  

cretinbob: I was late to work one day because the door knob on the bedroom broke, and it took about 15 minutes to break the damn thing.

//true story


Honestly, that happened to me once as well, except it was the the doorknob to the front of my apartment building so I couldn't get out. Luckily, there's a restaurant on the ground floor, and I took the fire escape down to their back yard and asked a cook in the kitchen if I could come through the kitchen to escape via the restaurant.

/owner of restaurant was also the landlord.
 
2012-10-15 03:23:09 PM  
everyone whining about how bad your jobs sucks, I hope you're all working to form or join a union. they're there for a reason
 
2012-10-15 03:24:57 PM  

cretinbob: Hyppy: So, everybody just started to come in when they were sick. This led to some mini-pandemics in the office and nearly killed a few of the elderly employees/managers that couldn't handle the petri dish our office had become.

This is why Unions.


Unions are hard to get going in states that are both right-to-work and at-will. Right-to-work makes it challenging because people don't generally want to join unless they see an immediate tangible benefit. At-will employment makes it absurdly easy to fire anyone suspected of rabble-rousing talks about unionization. The only unions with any presence in my area are very old or brought in by multistate companies.
 
2012-10-15 03:28:57 PM  

cretinbob: Hyppy: My last job was pretty absurd about their paid time off. One year, they decided that all sick time would be abolished. You just had to take the vacation time (which wasn't increased).

So, everybody just started to come in when they were sick. This led to some mini-pandemics in the office and nearly killed a few of the elderly employees/managers that couldn't handle the petri dish our office had become.

This is why Unions.


Or reasonable/knowledgeable folks setting policy. No unions here and sick time is unlimited (there are rules to prevent it from being abused, but it is completely separate from personal/vacation time).

Of course, I work from home 3 days a week, so if I'm under the weather or need to keep my daughter home from school, I can usually just work from home that day. It's a beautiful thing.
 
2012-10-15 03:37:52 PM  

Babwa Wawa: I'm stuck to my chair. I'm so very scared. Help


Can't believe it took 7 posts.
 
2012-10-15 03:38:31 PM  
A coyote dragged my pet goat into the woods

hey, that's not cool. my brother died that way.
 
2012-10-15 03:42:19 PM  

northguineahills: cretinbob: I was late to work one day because the door knob on the bedroom broke, and it took about 15 minutes to break the damn thing.

//true story

Honestly, that happened to me once as well, except it was the the doorknob to the front of my apartment building so I couldn't get out. Luckily, there's a restaurant on the ground floor, and I took the fire escape down to their back yard and asked a cook in the kitchen if I could come through the kitchen to escape via the restaurant.

/owner of restaurant was also the landlord.


something similar happened to me. I was turning the deadbolt so I could leave the house, and it just broke. I was like... oh. shiat. hmmm... what to do?

ultimately "picked" the lock with a screwdriver and a lot of work.
 
2012-10-15 03:55:08 PM  

Honest Bender: I have PTO. "I'm not feeling well. I wont be in today." Sucks for you peons.


*PTO knuckles*
 
2012-10-15 03:56:52 PM  

the801: A coyote dragged my pet goat into the woods

hey, that's not cool. my brother died that way.


Your brother died dragging pet goat into the woods?
 
2012-10-15 04:14:47 PM  

Babwa Wawa: I'm stuck to my chair. I'm so very scared. Help


Was expecting this post way up front. I so remember that thread that day (well, it was my 40th birthday, so I guess that helped).

/Holy crap it's been 6 years...
 
2012-10-15 04:23:08 PM  

catfish696: "I'm having vision issues and i won't be in today"

//translation = "I can't see myself at work today"


"Uh, I'm not coming to work today because I have amnesia. Whaddaya mean, how'd I know where to call?"

Tanthalas39: This farking list is more annual than Christmas.


"More" annual?

namegoeshere: Endive Wombat: The last company I worked for and the one I currently work for were VERY specific about enjoying life outside of work. It was and is understood that sometimes, you just need a Thursday off to do some shiat or just to hang on the couch all day in your boxers for a mental break. Silly excuses are a manifestation of the American hard working ethic and the almost impossible expectations of bosses, corporate initiatives, sales/production goals, etc.

My company understands that if you need a day - go for it. Because, there are going to be random times where you will have to work all weekend.

My last job had Paid Time Off instead of splitting it up into sick, vacation, personal, etc. Breaks longer than 3 days needed a dr's note or preapproval, but other than that it was yours to do with as you wish and nobody else's business. You called out and said, "I'm taking a day, " and that was that. As long as you got your work done, nobody cared if you had the explosive shiats or were just hung over. Or wanted to go for a hike that day.

It was nice being treated like a grownup.


This is what it all should be - PTO. We're not children, you don't need to know if we're going #1 (vacation time) or #2 (sick time) or #3 (I'm sick of work and just shouldn't be around people today).
 
2012-10-15 04:30:57 PM  

stonicus: [morganrlewis.files.wordpress.com image 584x316]

I got my toe stuck in the faucet. My dog is having a nervous breakdown. A coyote dragged my pet goat into the woods. I ran out of gas. I had a flat tire. I didn't have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn't come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake. A terrible flood. Locusts! IT WASN'T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD!


Came here for Blues Brothers.
Damn Fark, that took way too long, but leaving satisfied nevertheless.
 
2012-10-15 04:34:57 PM  

Wellon Dowd: the801: A coyote dragged my pet goat into the woods

hey, that's not cool. my brother died that way.

Your brother died dragging pet goat into the woods?


He was doing it with his penis, and the coyote bit it off?
 
2012-10-15 04:43:43 PM  
I work in a hospital in rural Manitoba Canada. Burnout is extremely quick among nurses and health care aides (or cna as the U.S calls them)

We are chronically short staffed, and frustrated by the lack of doctors. We went 3 straight months with someone calling in sick. Most of the time the person is calling, they are unable to be replaced.

Threatening to replace chronic offendersl is laughable, there's no one to replace them.

If you want to work, and can humble yourself to deal with all the crap involved, get in health care. Many states and provinces will at least partially fund your Education, and many times sponsor the whole thing.

I love what I do, just frustrated that we can't give the patients the care they deserve.

Except for the patients that think they are in a 5 star hotel, and demand to be waited on hand and foot. They can EABOD and DIAF
 
2012-10-15 06:19:22 PM  

UncleStumpy: I work in a hospital in rural Manitoba Canada. Burnout is extremely quick among nurses and health care aides (or cna as the U.S calls them)

We are chronically short staffed, and frustrated by the lack of doctors. We went 3 straight months with someone calling in sick. Most of the time the person is calling, they are unable to be replaced.

Threatening to replace chronic offendersl is laughable, there's no one to replace them.

If you want to work, and can humble yourself to deal with all the crap involved, get in health care. Many states and provinces will at least partially fund your Education, and many times sponsor the whole thing.

I love what I do, just frustrated that we can't give the patients the care they deserve.

Except for the patients that think they are in a 5 star hotel, and demand to be waited on hand and foot. They can EABOD and DIAF


I'm sorry I have no hands or feet. Now bring me a bowl of dicks!
 
2012-10-15 06:39:39 PM  

ChipNASA: cochlear: " Mother-in-law's funeral".
one week later...." mother-in-law's funeral".
following week....."mother-in-law's funeral". The boss finally asked WTF.
( yes, she did have 3, sort-of)

You must *really* hate your mother-in-law.

/I want to bone mine


I get a lot of dead grandmothers. With the blended families these days- 8, 10, 12 grandmothers. Amazing!! They all need to be buried on sunny weekend days.

Had a nurse who had so many funerals that we would refer to her as Susie 'I see dead people' in management meetings. Never could bring myself to stand next to her in a lightening storm. Ya never know!
 
2012-10-15 08:46:56 PM  

sk8r: ChipNASA: cochlear: " Mother-in-law's funeral".
one week later...." mother-in-law's funeral".
following week....."mother-in-law's funeral". The boss finally asked WTF.
( yes, she did have 3, sort-of)

You must *really* hate your mother-in-law.

/I want to bone mine

I get a lot of dead grandmothers. With the blended families these days- 8, 10, 12 grandmothers. Amazing!! They all need to be buried on sunny weekend days.

Had a nurse who had so many funerals that we would refer to her as Susie 'I see dead people' in management meetings. Never could bring myself to stand next to her in a lightening storm. Ya never know!


Hey, now. I REALLY spent the better part of my teen years going to funerals. Lots of aunts, uncles, suicidal friends, cousins, grandparents, accident-prone friends, drug-addicted friends, and other people died around the same time. It was morbid, awful, and nothing I could prevent.

So maybe Susie is in a big family and everyone in a specific generation is just getting to that age where they start dropping like flies. In my family, there were a few years there where all my parents' siblings and older cousins were dying within a couple months of each other, and sometimes within a couple days, even. My mom's family was HUGE. She had a dozen siblings, and the older ones had kids that were my mom's age (she was the youngest daughter).

So be nice to Susie... She may really be going through a crappy time.
 
2012-10-16 01:41:30 AM  
1.bp.blogspot.com
Amateurs
 
2012-10-16 11:36:47 AM  

Gyrfalcon: UncleStumpy: I work in a hospital in rural Manitoba Canada. Burnout is extremely quick among nurses and health care aides (or cna as the U.S calls them)

We are chronically short staffed, and frustrated by the lack of doctors. We went 3 straight months with someone calling in sick. Most of the time the person is calling, they are unable to be replaced.

Threatening to replace chronic offendersl is laughable, there's no one to replace them.

If you want to work, and can humble yourself to deal with all the crap involved, get in health care. Many states and provinces will at least partially fund your Education, and many times sponsor the whole thing.

I love what I do, just frustrated that we can't give the patients the care they deserve.

Except for the patients that think they are in a 5 star hotel, and demand to be waited on hand and foot. They can EABOD and DIAF

I'm sorry I have no hands or feet. Now bring me a bowl of dicks!


Right after he sets this fire...
 
Displayed 20 of 70 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report