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(The Big Story)   Man makes bomb jokes at Ted Stevens Anchorage International Airport. His new cellmates agree, it was hysterical   (bigstory.ap.org) divider line 103
    More: Dumbass, Ted Stevens Anchorage International Airport, Anchorage, international airport, home runs  
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6757 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Oct 2012 at 1:48 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-10-15 12:43:35 AM
His stay in prison will be a series of tube jokes.
 
2012-10-15 01:49:19 AM
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech*, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.
 
2012-10-15 01:52:56 AM
Can't we just call it what it is--farkwittery in public--instead of "making terroristic threats?"
 
2012-10-15 01:55:58 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech*, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.


However, Congress can make laws to punish people for being a dumbass.

This isn't a free speech issue. This is a douche issue.
 
2012-10-15 01:56:02 AM
I'm more appalled at the Ted Stevens International Airport. Talk about welfare queens.
 
2012-10-15 01:56:16 AM
Well, it seems his jokes really....

::puts on sunglasses::

...bombed.

/YEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!
 
2012-10-15 02:00:30 AM
Bad jokes hurt everyone. MORE PRISON TIME FOR BAD JOKES!
 
2012-10-15 02:03:28 AM

gwenners: Well, it seems his jokes really....

::puts on sunglasses::

...bombed.

/YEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!


i suppose you could say, the joke was...


a dud.
 
2012-10-15 02:05:09 AM
Ted Stevens International Airport? I guess Irony boarded the plane to nowhere.
 
2012-10-15 02:07:25 AM
Exclusive photo of the first night in lock-up.

i1.kym-cdn.com
 
2012-10-15 02:08:16 AM
Hey did you hear the one about the guy that took too long moving through security? I blew him the fark up. I'll be here all week, seriously...they're detaining me here.
 
2012-10-15 02:08:33 AM
Although I think they're coming down on him hard for making a bomb joke, you do have be a special kind of idiot to not understand that a bomb joke at an airport is a big no-no. At an airport I'm not going to do anything to give the Feds an excuse to charge me with a violation. It's bad enough at an airport you have to watch out for the poorly trained TSA agents.
 
2012-10-15 02:08:33 AM
The guy was a college hockey referee who reffed the Kendall Classic tournament over the weekend.

As a fan of college hockey, I assure you he will not hear the end of this from the various student sections. Shiat like this is comedy gold for the folks at Yost or the Kohl Center.

/Michigan Tech alum, now I help out at UAA Seawolves games
 
2012-10-15 02:09:15 AM
You could say the joke crashed and burned.
 
2012-10-15 02:10:35 AM

Trocadero: I'm more appalled at the Ted Stevens International Airport. Talk about welfare queens.


Define irony: An airport named after a Senator who was in two plane crashes, the first at an airport that killed his wife and 4 others, and died in the second one.

If pneumatic tubes ever take off, I'm writing my congressman to demand we name the name it in his honor.
 
2012-10-15 02:11:35 AM
OK, it's not like this is some kind of new thing, people. It's been a big no-no to make bomb jokes in airports since I was a wee lass. And that was back when "security" meant some old man gave your carry on a cursory glance before your entire family walked right up to the gate and waved the traveler good-bye. So no, I won't be sparing this douchebag any sympathy for his sad plight.
 
2012-10-15 02:13:26 AM
I want to know what he said.
 
2012-10-15 02:16:24 AM
NO!!!!!
 
2012-10-15 02:16:55 AM
wonder if this was a nervous thing. like people who have to laugh at funerals. or weddings.
 
2012-10-15 02:17:52 AM
TheOtherMisterP

AverageAmericanGuy: Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech*, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

However, Congress can make laws to punish people for being a dumbass.

This isn't a free speech issue. This is a douche issue.


I don't necessarily agree with AverageAmericanGuy but I'm a little worried about punishing people for being a dumbass or a douche. Once that gets started where does it stop? I'd be in jail a dozen times over and I think I have a lot of company in that respect.
 
2012-10-15 02:17:54 AM
 
2012-10-15 02:18:19 AM
"Terroristic" is now a word?
 
2012-10-15 02:20:40 AM
Everybody FREEZE'-em-uh, uh cuz I gotta BOMB!
 
2012-10-15 02:23:23 AM
What are the charges, officer?

www.ijreview.com
"Making a joke about a non-existent bomb. Now let's get on with the cavity search. "
 
2012-10-15 02:23:49 AM
This guy may be a douche, I dunno didn't here the joke. maybe it was sorta funny like

How do you make an American Eagle flight land on time?
About 15 pounds of C4.

Maybe it was better. Or Worse. Whatever. Arresting someone for anything short of "BOMB!!!" or "Everyone hit the floor!!! I've got a Bomb!!" is unconstitutional and illegal. And far more douchetastic that a crappy joke.

So for all you cowardly little rodents stepping up to suck some TSA cock on this, please leave the USA. You don't deserve to live here in the land of the brave and the the home of the free.

/Also i hear rodent teeth really chaff
 
2012-10-15 02:27:53 AM
I guarantee you, everyone involved in this incident, from the TSA gate agents to the bystander passengers to the security supervisors to the arresting officers to the jailers and judges... everyone, EVERYONE is certain that this man is NOT a terrorist and was NOT planning to bomb anything.

If they actually believed he had ill intentions, they would've acted very differently in the situation. Guns, tasers, screaming evacuations, sudden massive violence. Which didn't happen.

So, since the man is not actually a threat, tell me again where the justice is here?
 
2012-10-15 02:31:13 AM
www.billybear4kids.com

+
www.thelinkbuilders.com
 
2012-10-15 02:35:32 AM

Breathe Laugh Twitch: I guarantee you, everyone involved in this incident, from the TSA gate agents to the bystander passengers to the security supervisors to the arresting officers to the jailers and judges... everyone, EVERYONE is certain that this man is NOT a terrorist and was NOT planning to bomb anything.

If they actually believed he had ill intentions, they would've acted very differently in the situation. Guns, tasers, screaming evacuations, sudden massive violence. Which didn't happen.

So, since the man is not actually a threat, tell me again where the justice is here?


There isn't any justice but unfortunately on the part of everyone there's also no common sense. Especially on the judge's part. The judge think he's a flight risk? No shiat, he lives in another state! He has to go back home to do his job. If the guy has a passport, that should be taken and the guy should be allowed to post bail and go home. Let the guy wear an electronic ankle bracelet in his home area but let him go home.
 
2012-10-15 02:35:56 AM

Apos: [www.billybear4kids.com image 400x301]

+
[www.thelinkbuilders.com image 480x360]


A Burro Hat?
 
2012-10-15 02:38:16 AM

gwenners: Well, it seems his jokes really....

::puts on sunglasses::

...bombed.

/YEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!


I see for what you did there.
 
2012-10-15 02:39:07 AM

RamboFrog:
I don't necessarily agree with AverageAmericanGuy but I'm a little worried about punishing people for being a dumbass or a douche. Once that gets started where does it stop? I'd be in jail a dozen times over and I think I have a lot of company in that respect.


Well it all depends on WHERE you're a douche. At a bar? Club? Hanging out on the street? Not that big a deal. At the airport? Then yeah, you're in trouble.
 
2012-10-15 02:43:39 AM
Are they sure it was a bomb joke? Maybe he was just saying hi to his friend Jack.
 
2012-10-15 02:43:49 AM

Cucullen: This guy may be a douche, I dunno didn't here the joke. maybe it was sorta funny like

How do you make an American Eagle flight land on time?
About 15 pounds of C4.

Maybe it was better. Or Worse. Whatever. Arresting someone for anything short of "BOMB!!!" or "Everyone hit the floor!!! I've got a Bomb!!" is unconstitutional and illegal. And far more douchetastic that a crappy joke.

So for all you cowardly little rodents stepping up to suck some TSA cock on this, please leave the USA. You don't deserve to live here in the land of the brave and the the home of the free.

/Also i hear rodent teeth really chaff


THIS !!!
 
2012-10-15 02:46:24 AM
Because of this mans actions he has made my life today a complete living hell. Douche is the kindest word I have for him.
 
2012-10-15 02:48:47 AM

BronyMedic: Apos: [www.billybear4kids.com image 400x301]

+
[www.thelinkbuilders.com image 480x360]

A Burro Hat?



Heh...Yeah,let's go with that.
 
2012-10-15 02:50:59 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech*, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.


I'm guessing your GED class in law didn't cover Schenck v. United States and Brandenburg v. Ohio.
 
2012-10-15 02:53:43 AM
Suppose some passenger missed a connection because of this and they lost out on a business deal or their sick loved one died or something as a result. Would there be grounds for a civil suit against the guy who caused the shutdown?

If people started doing that this shiat would stop overnight.
 
2012-10-15 02:53:48 AM
More enlightening is that the primary Alaska airport doesn't have a plan for winter evacuation. People arriving were sent outside without coats, with no means of keeping warm, and it didn't dawn on the airport authorities to start shuttling them to the other terminal or open the rent-a-car offices for an hour afterwards.

If this had been January or February, some of these people might've been subject to hypothermia.
 
2012-10-15 02:55:13 AM

Cucullen: This guy may be a douche, I dunno didn't here the joke. maybe it was sorta funny like

How do you make an American Eagle flight land on time?
About 15 pounds of C4.

Maybe it was better. Or Worse. Whatever. Arresting someone for anything short of "BOMB!!!" or "Everyone hit the floor!!! I've got a Bomb!!" is unconstitutional and illegal. And far more douchetastic that a crappy joke.

So for all you cowardly little rodents stepping up to suck some TSA cock on this, please leave the USA. You don't deserve to live here in the land of the brave and the the home of the free.

/Also i hear rodent teeth really chaff


How about this. The rest of us will be ok with this, keep the law that way, and you will be the one accepting it or leaving.

I am guessing you won't be leaving? I'm staying, but of course I'm not the one telling people to leave.
 
2012-10-15 02:55:16 AM

Lenny_da_Hog: More enlightening is that the primary Alaska airport doesn't have a plan for winter evacuation. People arriving were sent outside without coats, with no means of keeping warm, and it didn't dawn on the airport authorities to start shuttling them to the other terminal or open the rent-a-car offices for an hour afterwards.

If this had been January or February, some of these people might've been subject to hypothermia.


But at least they wouldn't have been not-blown-up by a non-existent bomb.
 
2012-10-15 02:57:45 AM

Gyrfalcon: OK, it's not like this is some kind of new thing, people. It's been a big no-no to make bomb jokes in airports since I was a wee lass. And that was back when "security" meant some old man gave your carry on a cursory glance before your entire family walked right up to the gate and waved the traveler good-bye. So no, I won't be sparing this douchebag any sympathy for his sad plight.


^ ^ ^
THIS

He's a fully grown adult and should know better. If it was a... 2 year old kid making a joke someone took the wrong way and they shut the airport down that would be different.


CSB time:

A month or two after 9/11 my sister and her husband decided to fly with their 2 kids (4 and 3). My sister decided to explain to them in the weeks leading up to this that their teddy bears were going to have to ride on the conveyor belt so they could be checked for "bad things" etc etc. So they get to security for their flight and my eldest niece walks right up to the security lady, hands her the teddy bear and with a big smile says "There's no guns in teddy". (This is the same niece who 2 years later decided to "help" by yelling "Officer I haven't had any beer all day!" when I got stopped at a checkpoint with her in the back... and no I hadn't had any booze). My brother in law apparently hugged my youngest niece and was about to tell her to be good for whatever foster family they put her with.

Somehow they lucked out and got a security guard with a sense of humour because she laughed and put the bear on the conveyor belt. But I imagine that had to be a damn scary second or two.
 
2012-10-15 02:58:26 AM
"So, who are you voting for this year?"

"Obama"

(Alarms sound....)
 
2012-10-15 02:59:51 AM
I watched a guy get cuffed and stuffed when they wanted to hand search his bag and he said "sure, just pay no mind to the bomb in there".

/No, not a b...., a bomb.
 
2012-10-15 03:01:03 AM
America really sucks. Change the farking name of the country already. The authorities are fascist paranoid retards.
 
2012-10-15 03:02:00 AM
"What is myrrh, anyway?"
 
2012-10-15 03:05:00 AM

Breathe Laugh Twitch: So, since the man is not actually a threat, tell me again where the justice is here?


It's huddling in a dark corner somewhere next to the financial responsibility of a cokehead.
 
2012-10-15 03:10:03 AM
www.sitcomsonline.com


R.I.P. TED STEVENS
 
2012-10-15 03:19:36 AM

Smackledorfer: How about this. The rest of us will be ok with this, keep the law that way, and you will be the one accepting it or leaving.

I am guessing you won't be leaving? I'm staying, but of course I'm not the one telling people to leave.



I'm sorry which part of this is your self -justification for being a coward who bows to the nearest sub-room temperature IQ authority? Was that the part where you imagine the majority of this country are other people who share your cowardice?
Well they're not, they're just looking for someone to hate people like everyone else. All I'm saying is that it should be people like you.
 
2012-10-15 03:39:29 AM

Cucullen: Smackledorfer: How about this. The rest of us will be ok with this, keep the law that way, and you will be the one accepting it or leaving.

I am guessing you won't be leaving? I'm staying, but of course I'm not the one telling people to leave.


I'm sorry which part of this is your self -justification for being a coward who bows to the nearest sub-room temperature IQ authority? Was that the part where you imagine the majority of this country are other people who share your cowardice?
Well they're not, they're just looking for someone to hate people like everyone else. All I'm saying is that it should be people like you.


I disagree with putting up with idiots making bomb jokes in airports and delaying my flights.

I am not leaving the country, and as a USC you can't deport me. So I guess it sucks to be you. Looks like I win. But your probably-fake outrage is cute.
 
2012-10-15 03:41:27 AM
"Peter Friesema (FREEZE'-em-uh) was arrested early Sunday..."

I guess he's headed for... *removes glasses* the cooler.

YEEEEEOOOW.
 
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