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(Daily Mail)   Do not mess with the Gurkhas. Seriously   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 151
    More: Hero, Taitex Phlamachha, common assault, Kent Police, Maidstone  
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21052 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Oct 2012 at 10:55 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-10-14 08:17:52 AM
Jamie Hall, aged 39, of Fairmeadow in Maidstone, has been charged with attempted robbery, grievous bodily harm with intent, possession of an offensive weapon and common assault.



Is it really common assault? I don't think stabbing a gurka happens that often.
 
2012-10-14 08:35:36 AM
FTFA: Nothing like this has ever happened to me before and I will do anything to protect myself and family.

He's a sweet gurka.
 
2012-10-14 08:41:50 AM
Gurkhas, collectively speaking, are the toughest people on the planet when it comes to war.
 
2012-10-14 08:58:10 AM
Even if there's 40 of you and only one of him. You DO NOT fark with a Gurkha.
 
2012-10-14 09:11:22 AM

DammitIForgotMyLogin: Even if there's 40 of you and only one of him. You DO NOT fark with a Gurkha.


Rule one: "Do not act incautiously when confronting little bald wrinkly smiling men" - Terry Pratchett
 
2012-10-14 09:12:50 AM

thisispete: DammitIForgotMyLogin: Even if there's 40 of you and only one of him. You DO NOT fark with a Gurkha.

Rule one: "Do not act incautiously when confronting little bald wrinkly smiling men" - Terry Pratchett


Nah. I think the Gurka just had more experience not dying.
 
2012-10-14 10:01:04 AM
Don't go around jerkin your gurkha
 
2012-10-14 10:58:40 AM
So, stab a Gurkha, end up in a pickle?
 
2012-10-14 10:59:11 AM
Great guys. Super friendly. Well, if you don't stab them.
 
2012-10-14 10:59:41 AM
I'm positive he is a bad-ass and could take me down with a finger. But he's a black belt and still got stabbed? Maybe he needs more practice.
 
2012-10-14 11:02:49 AM
I think the important thing is don't be a mugger.
 
2012-10-14 11:03:06 AM

RexTalionis: Gurkhas, collectively speaking, are the toughest people on the planet when it comes to war.


History certainly agrees. If ever I had to have a foxhole-mate I would choose a pissed off Gurkha with a kukri between his teeth and revenge in in his eye.
 
2012-10-14 11:04:21 AM
cdn3.hark.com
Unimpressed
 
2012-10-14 11:04:34 AM
i.imgur.com

They seem harmless enough...
 
2012-10-14 11:04:36 AM

RexTalionis: Gurkhas, collectively speaking, are the toughest people on the planet when it comes to war.



I didn't know anything about it before the article, but looking at the guys face... yeah
 
2012-10-14 11:04:47 AM
Well, he warned him. Release the Gurkha!
 
2012-10-14 11:05:26 AM
Great knives, my mother gave them to all the men in my family for Christmas one year.
 
2012-10-14 11:05:36 AM
I dont mess with Gurkhas I smoke em!

i26.photobucket.com
 
2012-10-14 11:06:02 AM
This has to be one of the better known classic blunders, right up there with not getting involved with land wars in Asia and not going in against a Sicilian when death is on the line.
 
2012-10-14 11:06:24 AM

simusid: I'm positive he is a bad-ass and could take me down with a finger. But he's a black belt and still got stabbed? Maybe he needs more practice.


Huh. Because all my instructors have told me that you have about 100% chance of getting cut in a knife fight, no matter what. The trick is to keep fighting after that happens and not to freak the fark out until afterwards.
 
2012-10-14 11:08:11 AM
farm4.static.flickr.com
 
2012-10-14 11:08:56 AM
drewogatory: simusid: I'm positive he is a bad-ass and could take me down with a finger. But he's a black belt and still got stabbed? Maybe he needs more practice.

Huh. Because all my instructors have told me that you have about 100% chance of getting cut in a knife fight, no matter what. The trick is to keep fighting after that happens and not to freak the fark out until afterwards.


Well unless you win a knife fight Indy style
 
2012-10-14 11:09:31 AM
Shame he didn't have his Kukri on him.
He'd have made fast work of that mugger and saved us the court fees.
 
2012-10-14 11:14:43 AM
Slight tangent here, but what's the notch for at the base of the kukhri's blade?
 
2012-10-14 11:15:11 AM

doglover: thisispete: DammitIForgotMyLogin: Even if there's 40 of you and only one of him. You DO NOT fark with a Gurkha.

Rule one: "Do not act incautiously when confronting little bald wrinkly smiling men" - Terry Pratchett

Nah. I think the Gurka just had more experience not dying.


I remember a fark story a few years ago where a Gurka killed like fifteen train robbers using only a machette and his pure, unadulterated badassery.
 
2012-10-14 11:15:56 AM
i.dailymail.co.uk

See, this is why you use a knife with a full tang.
 
2012-10-14 11:16:25 AM
Heard tales of the Gurkha when our troops were in Vietnam, bad asses they are.
 
2012-10-14 11:17:15 AM

buckler: Slight tangent here, but what's the notch for at the base of the kukhri's blade?


Normally I'd tell you to google it yourself, but I was curious as well. Wiki says:

"Kukri blades usually have a notch (kauda, kaudi, kaura, or cho) at the base of the blade. Various reasons are given for this, both practical and ceremonial: that it makes blood and sap drop off the blade rather than running onto the handle; that it delineates the end of the blade whilst sharpening; that it is a symbol representing a cow foot, or Shiva (Brigade of Gurkhas). The notch may also represent the teats of a cow, a reminder that the kukri should not be used to kill a cow, an animal revered and worshipped as goddess throughout Nepal."
 
2012-10-14 11:17:38 AM
I'm gonna have to get me one of them there khukuri things.
 
2012-10-14 11:17:43 AM

buckler: Slight tangent here, but what's the notch for at the base of the kukhri's blade?


If I recall, it's got religious significance.
Not sure of the details.
 
2012-10-14 11:18:38 AM

buckler: Slight tangent here, but what's the notch for at the base of the kukhri's blade?


Bottle opener
 
2012-10-14 11:18:41 AM
I fought with Gurkhas back in the Wang Chung Delta, so I'm getting a kick out of these replies.
 
2012-10-14 11:20:05 AM
Thanks, guys. I should have googled, but I'm still coffeeing.
 
2012-10-14 11:21:54 AM

ghare: I'm gonna have to get me one of them there khukuri things.


If I might make a suggestion: Ontario knives makes a good version.
I wasn't much of a Kukri fan till I got this one, now I can't live without it when doing yard work.

/around sixty bucks, sheath is a bit flimsy, but good value.
 
2012-10-14 11:22:31 AM
FTA: Mr Phlamachha, 38, from Maidstone, Kent, a Gurkha with Maidstone's 36 Engineers for 13 years, said: 'I tried to warn him, "Don't mess with Gurkhas. We're trained to fight." But he didn't listen.'

That's pretty badass.
 
2012-10-14 11:23:17 AM

Fish in a Barrel: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x575]

See, this is why you use a knife with a full tang.


That is truly a punk knife. My fave is still the original USMC KBar design.
 
2012-10-14 11:23:43 AM

ghare: buckler: Slight tangent here, but what's the notch for at the base of the kukhri's blade?

Bottle opener


As opposed to the rest of the blade, which was originally designed for opening Khans
 
2012-10-14 11:25:10 AM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: ghare: buckler: Slight tangent here, but what's the notch for at the base of the kukhri's blade?

Bottle opener

As opposed to the rest of the blade, which was originally designed for opening Khans


HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAALOLOLOLOLOL thanks!
 
2012-10-14 11:25:50 AM

ZzeusS: RexTalionis: Gurkhas, collectively speaking, are the toughest people on the planet when it comes to war.


I didn't know anything about it before the article, but looking at the guys face... yeah


There's a dozen famous stories of Gurkas in combat doing things that even the SEALs would tap out of.

My favorite is one got hit in WWII and was unable to retreat, and he had an anti tank rifle with three german tanks headed at him. He fires at one, hits it, but breaks his collar bone with the recoil. So he reloads and takes out the second, and then the third tank with the broken bone and injury.

I make be misremembering that, but not by much. It's a pretty hard core story.
 
2012-10-14 11:25:55 AM

moondo: FTA: Mr Phlamachha, 38, from Maidstone, Kent, a Gurkha with Maidstone's 36 Engineers for 13 years, said: 'I tried to warn him, "Don't mess with Gurkhas. We're trained to fight." But he didn't listen.'

That's pretty badass.


"Don't f--k with a Gurkha" is right up there with "never get involved in a land war in Asia" as far as historically backed up classic blunders go.

/feel free to screw with a Sicilian if death is on the line, though
 
2012-10-14 11:27:14 AM
1. If you are in a white bread town like Maidstone and a guy who looks vaguely Tibetan warns you that he's a Gurkha then HE'S PROBABLY A GURKHA
2. You DO NOT fark WITH THE GURKHAS
 
2012-10-14 11:27:45 AM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: ghare: buckler: Slight tangent here, but what's the notch for at the base of the kukhri's blade?

Bottle opener

As opposed to the rest of the blade, which was originally designed for opening Khans


You magnificent bastard.
 
2012-10-14 11:29:20 AM

RexTalionis: Gurkhas, collectively speaking, are the toughest people on the planet when it comes to war.


Former Chief of staff of the Indian Army, Field Marshal Sam Manekshaw, once famously said[2] about Gurkhas: "If a man says he is not afraid of dying, he is either lying or is a Gurkha."
 
2012-10-14 11:30:42 AM
Chuck Norris checks under his bed every night for Gurkhas.
 
2012-10-14 11:31:23 AM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: ghare: buckler: Slight tangent here, but what's the notch for at the base of the kukhri's blade?

Bottle opener

As opposed to the rest of the blade, which was originally designed for opening Khans


Best comment today.
 
2012-10-14 11:33:55 AM
Story goes that during WWII, the British Indian Army planned to drop a company of the toughest Gurkhas behind Japanese lines to help stop the oncoming invaders. A British major explained the plan to the Gurkha sergeant major, saying: "We'll drop you from 600 feet."

The sergeant major talked to his troops, then went back to the major: "Sah, the men say 600 feet too high. They want to be dropped lower." The British major said: "All right, sergeant major, we'll make it 500 feet."

The sergeant major spoke to his troops again, and again went back to the major: "Sah, the men say 500 feet is still too high and want to be dropped lower." The major said: "Sergeant major, we could go down to 400 feet to drop you but that wouldn't leave enough time for the parachutes to open."

Sergeant major: "Ooohhh, paraaaachutes???"
 
2012-10-14 11:34:35 AM

way south: ghare: I'm gonna have to get me one of them there khukuri things.

If I might make a suggestion: Ontario knives makes a good version.
I wasn't much of a Kukri fan till I got this one, now I can't live without it when doing yard work.

/around sixty bucks, sheath is a bit flimsy, but good value.


Hmm, thanks.

/need a decent yard knife
//but I'm too short to really use a machete well, think that might work better
///yeah, it's needed
////yard goes up against a creek and the utility company has an easement along the back fence and neither have been maintained for decades apparently
//all for keeping things natural, but invasives (vines pulling down tree limbs esp) = chop chop
 
2012-10-14 11:36:10 AM

Makh: I think the important thing is don't be a mugger.


Yeah work on Wall Street or Pentagon where you get away with ripping people off.
 
2012-10-14 11:38:26 AM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: ghare: buckler: Slight tangent here, but what's the notch for at the base of the kukhri's blade?

Bottle opener

As opposed to the rest of the blade, which was originally designed for opening Khans


i20.photobucket.com
 
2012-10-14 11:40:41 AM

StreetlightInTheGhetto: RexTalionis: Gurkhas, collectively speaking, are the toughest people on the planet when it comes to war.

Former Chief of staff of the Indian Army, Field Marshal Sam Manekshaw, once famously said[2] about Gurkhas: "If a man says he is not afraid of dying, he is either lying or is a Gurkha."


According to Wiki, Manekshaw died in 2008 at the age of 94.

He died of complications from pneumonia at the Military Hospital in Wellington, Tamil Nadu on 0030 hours, 27 June 2008 at the age of 94.
He was laid to rest in Ootacamund, Tamil Nadu, with military honours, adjacent to his wife's grave. He is survived by two daughters and three grandchildren.

Reportedly, his last words were "I'm okay!"

Some choice quotes:

To a surgeon who was going to give up on his bullet-riddled body who asked him what had happened and got the reply, "I was kicked by a donkey." A joker at such a time, the surgeon reckoned, had a chance.

On being asked by Indira Gandhi if he was ready to fight on the eve of the Indo-Pakistani War of 1971: "I am always ready, sweetie." 
 
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