TheOriginalEd: Do it the alton brown way. You wont ever want it another way.

Does the Alton Brown way involve building some kind of complicated bread dehydrating device (out of flower pots, dry ice, duct work, half a Weber grill, and a handfull of bicycle spokes) and then explaining why an egg beater is bad because it's a "unitasker"? And does it need to be begun the night before, and involve some kind of laser interferometry to measure the heat of the pan, and end with a metric buttload of kosher salt being dumped on it and then served with something gross like eggplant-avocado puree?

Step 1: Put on German uniform.
Step 2: Invade France
Step 3 They surrender all their French Toast
Done.

Rufus Lee King: But what if I am insane?

Obviously, that's not French toast, then. It would appear to be the body of your ex-wife. You'll have to come along now, sir.

Step 1: Slice french bread
Step 2: Place slices in toaster, and push down lever.
Step 3: When it pops up, FRENCH TOAST!!

mbillips: Winterlight:  
IHOP french toast.

That's disgusting. When did breakfast become dessert?

Ugh...Just looking at IHOP's French toast makes me want to barf...stuffed with cream cheese, Mexican stoplight candy, Hostess fruit pie, bubblegum, pudding and topped with Twinkie filling, gumdrops, maple-flavored corn syrup and one cup of brown sugar.

tl;dr

My god, that appears to be a 2000-word essay to say, "Dunk bread slices in a beaten egg/milk/cinnamon mixture, then cook them on a hot pan." Who the fark wrote this, Alton Brown?