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(Deadspin)   How To Make French Toast: a guide for people who are not insane   (deadspin.com) divider line 99
    More: Spiffy, making excuses, Pat Sajak, nutmeg, hot stove  
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10213 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Oct 2012 at 2:55 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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vpb [TotalFark]
2012-10-13 12:44:02 PM
I thought it was supposed to be Freedom Toast now!
 
2012-10-13 12:56:37 PM
My granddad used to make the best french toast every.. With a hint of fried egg flavor and molasses. Damn I miss him..
 
2012-10-13 01:28:40 PM
You need to use a baguette, cut about an inch and a half thick and soak them for a long time.

Mmmmmmmmm. Here's one using a waffle iron
 
2012-10-13 01:44:23 PM
I've made French toast the Alton Brown way a few times--let the bread dry out overnight, whip up the egg mixture and let it set in the fridge like a custard, soak the bread in the egg mixture for a certain amount of time and then let them rest on racks before frying them out. It's very tasty, but it takes so much time, and I don't really have that much space in my kitchen.

I've also made it like my mom used to--just throw the ingredients together, put it on a pan, and hope for the best--and it comes out fine.
 
2012-10-13 02:22:12 PM
 
2012-10-13 02:56:49 PM
No cheese curds & gravy? Bleh, that's not french toast, merely european toast.
 
2012-10-13 03:00:54 PM
you can put ... whatever stupid goddamn thing you want on it

Thanks for the sage advice.
 
2012-10-13 03:02:53 PM
Just use the America's Test Kitchen/Cook's Illustrated recipe.
 
2012-10-13 03:03:47 PM
I've made French toast out of pumpkin cranberry bread, and with banana bread, both of which were excellent. Once on a whim, when making "standard" French toast, I added a little extra sugar to the egg mix, along with a spoonful of flour before dipping the bread slices and tossing them in the deep-fryer until golden-brown, puffy and crispy.. I swear that may have been the best French toast I ever ate.
 
2012-10-13 03:04:47 PM
So, this French toast makes you insane?
 
2012-10-13 03:05:38 PM
My recipe:

Crack 1-1/2 eggs per person. Round up if necessary. Lightly scramble.
Estimate the volume of the eggs, divide by 2, and add that much milk.
Whisk in a little real vanilla extract, not that crappy vanilla flavor shiat they sell at the grocery store.
Squirt a tablespoon or two of honey into a bowl. Microwave a few seconds so it's runny. Whisk it in.

I'll add a little cinnamon to the batter, but it usually all floats to the top no matter how much you mix, so I keep the shaker on the side and sprinkle a little more into the bread after I put them on the griddle.

Dip, cook, and serve!
 
2012-10-13 03:05:42 PM
had FT at my sisters house this morning. 3 pieces, buttered, with a dusting of confectionery sugar and a little syrup. quite delicious.

i have two sisters. they are both most excellent people, nothing like me. i love them dearly and i'm thankful they are in my life.
 
2012-10-13 03:05:56 PM
 
2012-10-13 03:06:12 PM
Step 1: Go to IHOP
 
Step 2: Order French Toast
 
Step 3: Smother in syrup and enjoy
 
2012-10-13 03:08:51 PM

BumpInTheNight: No cheese curds & gravy? Bleh, that's not french toast, merely european toast.


Presumably you're from Quebec. Sounds like the sort of thing they'd eat. I can't imagine the French doing so.

The recipe describes perfectly cromulent French toast.
It could be improved by substituting Brioche for bread, by the way.
 
2012-10-13 03:09:13 PM
delicious-cooks.com
 
IHOP french toast.
 
2012-10-13 03:09:33 PM
I've used pretty much any bread imaginable. Sliced pound cake for a special treat.
 
2012-10-13 03:11:25 PM

xynix: My granddad used to make the best french toast every.. With a hint of fried egg flavor and molasses. Damn I miss him..


My great grandma made them with thin toast and light on the egg in cast iron with butter so they ended up crispy in some parts and soft in others. Ive never been able to reproduce them.
 
2012-10-13 03:12:31 PM
Step 1. Beat eggs and milk together
Step 2. Dip bread in.
Step 3. Fry bread.

This doesn't require a 15 paragraph article.
 
2012-10-13 03:13:22 PM
tl;dr

My god, that appears to be a 2000-word essay to say, "Dunk bread slices in a beaten egg/milk/cinnamon mixture, then cook them on a hot pan." Who the fark wrote this, Alton Brown?
 
2012-10-13 03:15:02 PM
Sometimes make savory french toast for dinner: milk, eggs in whatever proportions suit you, savory spices (yes, even Savory), dunk bread, cook in lightly buttered pan. Enjoy.
 
2012-10-13 03:22:08 PM
I've got some Pepperidge Farm pumpkin swirl cinnamon bread lying around that needs to get eaten before it goes bad. I think I know what breakfast is gonna be tomorrow.

/Somehow I always forget that French toast is an option for breakfast, probably because I almost never have any eggs.
 
2012-10-13 03:24:54 PM
Do it the alton brown way. You wont ever want it another way.
 
2012-10-13 03:26:51 PM
Simpler recipe:

Make a milk-egg mixture in the following proportion: 1 egg to 2/3 cup whole milk

Add to it: a small dash of vanilla extract and a pinch of salt AND NOTHING ELSE COMMA DAMMIT

Whip with lightly a fork; we're not making a creme sauce here.

Immerse bread until saturated (careful since now it will tear and fall apart).

Place a small pat of real, heart-killing delicious butter on a hot griddle and when flipping it over, add another pat of butter.

Properly done, the bread will puff up slightly as it cooks and is moist (not raw) in the center.

Any bread dipped in batter and fried is NOT French Toast but French Merde.
 
2012-10-13 03:28:14 PM
This is supposed to be pretty great:

Santa Fe (Railroad) French Toast

Prep Time: 15 minsTotal Time: 25 minsServings: 4-6
About This Recipe

"People have been making fun of the railroad for years, but no one jokes about their legendary French Toast. The train might have run late, but when indulging in a breakfast like this, who cared? I realize the cream adds calories, but suggest that you resist the temptation to use milk! It's worth the extra time on the treadmill! NOTE: Besure to use stale bread otherwise you're french toast may be soggy!"
Ingredients

6 slices firm white bread (day old), 3/4 inch slices cut in half diagonally
1 cup heavy cream
4 large eggs, lightly beaten
1/4 teaspoon salt
vegetable oil ( for frying)
Garnish
confectioners' sugar
warm maple syrup
Directions
Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Position rack in middle of the oven.
Arrange bread in a single layer in a baking dish.
Whisk together cream, eggs and salt and pour over the bread.
Soak bread, turning once, until most of liquid is absorbed but bread is not falling apart, about 2 minutes.
With a slotted spatula, carefully transfer soaked bread to tray.
Heat 1/2 inch oil in a heavy skillet over moderate heat until registers 325 degrees.
Fry bread 3 or 4 pieces at a time, turning once, until golden brown and crisp, about 2 minutes per batch, maintaining 325 degrees.
Transfer to paper towel to drain briefly then arrange in a single lager on baking sheet.
Once all bread is fried, bake toast until puffed, about 4 minutes.
Dust with confectioners sugar and serve with syrup or honey.

I saw this on a railroad documentary on PBS, and apparently this recipe was one of the highlights for passengers riding the Santa Fe.
 
2012-10-13 03:29:14 PM
Buy (or make) a good loaf of peasant bread, slice it into 1/2" slices, and let it dry overnight.
Soak it in your egg mixture for a few minutes before frying in clarified butter.
Sprinkle with cinnamon/powdered sugar and serve.

It's Alton's method and it is the BEST. Take care with the bread though--if it's super dense, cut it thin or you won't be able to eat it.
 
2012-10-13 03:29:15 PM
www.recipegirl.com

Recipe 

/Hot and Sticky
 
2012-10-13 03:30:18 PM

TheOriginalEd: Do it the alton brown way. You wont ever want it another way.


Does the Alton Brown way involve building some kind of complicated bread dehydrating device (out of flower pots, dry ice, duct work, half a Weber grill, and a handfull of bicycle spokes) and then explaining why an egg beater is bad because it's a "unitasker"? And does it need to be begun the night before, and involve some kind of laser interferometry to measure the heat of the pan, and end with a metric buttload of kosher salt being dumped on it and then served with something gross like eggplant-avocado puree?
 
2012-10-13 03:30:54 PM
Keep it simple. Good crusty bread, eggs, a tad of sugar, a tad of vanilla extract, break out the cast iron skillet, cook in little bit of hot melted butter. Top it with more butter, powdered sugar (optional) and your favorite syrup.
 
2012-10-13 03:30:57 PM
Wow, I really thought that article was going to be in contrast to this. I am disappoint.

Link
 
2012-10-13 03:31:59 PM

SuperSeriousMan: Step 1: Go to IHOP
 
Step 2: Order French Toast
 
Step 3: Smother in syrup and enjoy


IHOP doesn't serve real syrup. You can get various flavored of high-fructose corn syrup there, but they all suck.

/#realmapleordeath
 
2012-10-13 03:32:55 PM

Winterlight:  
IHOP french toast.


That's disgusting. When did breakfast become dessert?
 
2012-10-13 03:32:58 PM
However you make it, one small but KEY ingredient is a little salt in the custard. Really makes it pop.

// eggs, milk, sugar, cinnamon, vanilla, and a pinch of salt
/// fry in butter
 
2012-10-13 03:35:12 PM

vpb: I thought it was supposed to be Freedom Toast now!


2002 called. They want their indignant jingoism back.
 
2012-10-13 03:35:20 PM
Just say no to bread. Make "french toast" with sourdough english muffins.
 
2012-10-13 03:37:54 PM

mbillips: Winterlight:  
IHOP french toast.

That's disgusting. When did breakfast become dessert?


Ugh...Just looking at IHOP's French toast makes me want to barf...stuffed with cream cheese, Mexican stoplight candy, Hostess fruit pie, bubblegum, pudding and topped with Twinkie filling, gumdrops, maple-flavored corn syrup and one cup of brown sugar.
 
2012-10-13 03:38:04 PM

BullBearMS: [www.recipegirl.com image 600x667]

Recipe 

/Hot and Sticky


A metal spatula on a non-stick surface is the stuff of which fail is made.

/interesting othewise
 
2012-10-13 03:38:39 PM

Rufus Lee King: But what if I am insane?


Obviously, that's not French toast, then. It would appear to be the body of your ex-wife. You'll have to come along now, sir.
 
2012-10-13 03:39:09 PM
The boyfriend makes the most amazing French toast I've ever eaten. He uses challah bread, sometimes raisin challah, which is twice is good. He whips eggs, cream, cinnamon, vanilla, and a little bit of sugar, dunks the bread in and lets it soak up, then cooks them on a griddle. I grew up spreading jam on my French toast rather than syrup, so while they're still really hot, I put a little blackberry or raspberry jam on it, and I am good to go.

He also makes a great Monte Cristo sandwich, too. No raisin challah for that, but still. I love that I love a man who can cook.
 
2012-10-13 03:39:38 PM

Rufus Lee King: But what if I am insane?


Then, I'm afraid to say, this guide is not for you.
 
2012-10-13 03:42:18 PM
Four pieces of HWheat bread + two eggs + one n' a half count'a milk + three taps o' cinnamon on each side = heaven.

/Apply peanut butter and syrup as necessary.
 
2012-10-13 03:44:49 PM

Rufus Lee King: Hector Remarkable: Rufus Lee King: But what if I am insane?

Obviously, that's not French toast, then. It would appear to be the body of your ex-wife. You'll have to come along now, sir.

All right, then, I'll admit it. I battered and ate her.


Another case solved.
 
2012-10-13 03:45:14 PM
Came here for a Larry Crowne reference.

/ I am disappoint.
//Toaster Waffles
 
2012-10-13 03:45:23 PM
That was a great read.

/french toast enthusiast
 
2012-10-13 03:47:45 PM
www.kitchencollection.com

I'd rather have Belgian waffles. Since the iron cooks both sides at once, it's also faster.
 
2012-10-13 03:47:51 PM
Fry it in butter. The only way. Real, salted butter. And Trader Joe's uncured bacon. And real maple syrup. Just had this last Thursday. Maybe tomorrow.
 
2012-10-13 03:49:34 PM
This thread is making me hungry. French toast for breakfast tomorrow!
 
2012-10-13 03:57:31 PM
We are not dairy people. At most we might have plain yogurt or powdered milk. Is it a failure in the making to try to find a sub for milk?
 
2012-10-13 04:04:02 PM
French toast is my favorite, followed closely by Belgian waffled and eggs Benedict. Traditionally when our extended family gets together we make a peaches and cream version that's perplex the night before and baked in the oven. Sprinkled with a bits of brown sugar and....

Shiat now I need French toast.
 
2012-10-13 04:06:44 PM
Step 1: Slice french bread
Step 2: Place slices in toaster, and push down lever.
Step 3: When it pops up, FRENCH TOAST!!
 
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