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(Planet Ivy)   Sperm shortage in China means enterprising men are being paid to help women get pregnant: The donor recommends "sexual intercourse would be his preferred method to success"   (planetivy.com) divider line 88
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8071 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Oct 2012 at 1:13 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-10-12 02:40:21 PM

justneal: Great Janitor: For $60/hour I will happily disappoint many Chinese women in bed. For $100/hour I'll bring my A game, but satisfaction is not guaranteed.

screw that, your hourly rate means i'm only getting $1.65


I'm rounding up to a minimum of one hour. So if I go 59 minutes or 59 seconds, I still get paid for the full hour.
 
2012-10-12 02:41:48 PM
Wen can I have it??
 
2012-10-12 02:47:38 PM
Would they want me? 6' 2", 205 lbs, red hair, blue-green eyes, IQ measured at 129, no genetic diseases. What kind of weird kid would I father with a Chinese chick?
 
2012-10-12 02:49:07 PM
Also, I came here for pics of Chinese chicks. Where's Zhang Ziyi, for fark's sake?
 
2012-10-12 02:51:47 PM
I think I see the problem here......

i.imgur.com
 
2012-10-12 02:51:48 PM

StoPPeRmobile: Cybernetic: Since when have the Chinese had trouble reproducing?

And how does a country whose demographics are skewing heavily male have a sperm shortage?

Too much masturbation leads to low issue.


Depends on your definition of too much. Masturbating every day ensures your issue will contain younger, and therefore healthier sperm, which obviously increases the chance of them reaching paydirt. But yeah, beating it several times a day will pretty much empty the chamber, so you'd essentially be firing blanks.

Every day is certainly not too much for me, but maybe for some it is.
 
2012-10-12 02:54:54 PM

Suede head: Would they want me? 6' 2", 205 lbs, red hair, blue-green eyes, IQ measured at 129, no genetic diseases. What kind of weird kid would I father with a Chinese chick?


Hey we weigh the same but i'm like 6 inches shorter
 
2012-10-12 02:57:05 PM

Cymbal: StoPPeRmobile: Cybernetic: Since when have the Chinese had trouble reproducing?

And how does a country whose demographics are skewing heavily male have a sperm shortage?

Too much masturbation leads to low issue.

Depends on your definition of too much. Masturbating every day ensures your issue will contain younger, and therefore healthier sperm, which obviously increases the chance of them reaching paydirt. But yeah, beating it several times a day will pretty much empty the chamber, so you'd essentially be firing blanks.

Every day is certainly not too much for me, but maybe for some it is.


I beat mine like it owes me money.......

/always like to drop that in there where ever I can
 
2012-10-12 02:57:11 PM

Suede head: Would they want me? 6' 2", 205 lbs, red hair, blue-green eyes, IQ measured at 129, no genetic diseases. What kind of weird kid would I father with a Chinese chick?


129? Maybe some of the bridge and tunnel chicks might have a gander at you. But only If they wanted the challenge of raising a developmentally impaired child.
 
2012-10-12 02:57:49 PM

Suede head: Would they want me? 6' 2", 205 lbs, red hair, blue-green eyes, IQ measured at 129, no genetic diseases. What kind of weird kid would I father with a Chinese chick?


either the ugliest son on the planet...

or one very sexy and submissive daughter.
 
2012-10-12 02:59:50 PM

Fano: Still a shortage of green eyed ladies in china

/causes big trouble


According to Gracie Law?
 
2012-10-12 03:01:37 PM
To decrease the population in China, scientists have made sperm taste like chocolate.
 
2012-10-12 03:04:00 PM

Cymbal: Suede head: Would they want me? 6' 2", 205 lbs, red hair, blue-green eyes, IQ measured at 129, no genetic diseases. What kind of weird kid would I father with a Chinese chick?

129? Maybe some of the bridge and tunnel chicks might have a gander at you. But only If they wanted the challenge of raising a developmentally impaired child.


I loled.
 
2012-10-12 03:04:38 PM

Deep Contact: To decrease the population in China, scientists have made sperm taste like chocolate.


at least it has less sugar than SUPER MARIO CEREAL
www.cmonfwank.com
 
2012-10-12 03:05:27 PM

Suede head: Would they want me? 6' 2", 205 lbs, red hair, blue-green eyes, IQ measured at 129, no genetic diseases. What kind of weird kid would I father with a Chinese chick?


Well if the kid's to be anything like the father, a slightly above average intelligence and obnoxious, fat and ugly kid. Can't imagine why noone would want your children.
 
2012-10-12 03:19:03 PM
No references to "A Boy and His Dog"?
I leave disappointed.
 
2012-10-12 03:26:01 PM

badkneemm: No references to "A Boy and His Dog"?
I leave disappointed.


I really liked that movie.
 
2012-10-12 03:26:55 PM

badkneemm: No references to "A Boy and His Dong"?
I leave disappointed.

/ftfy
 
2012-10-12 03:28:46 PM
Eating noodles with chop sticks.

\getting a kick
 
2012-10-12 03:36:00 PM

SirTanon: "The eleven available sperm banks fail to accommodate the population of over 1.3 billion, leaving Chinese women less than satisfied."

You don't say


Good. Some women are going to have to go sans babehs if that place isn't going to bankrupt the planet's resources.
 
2012-10-12 03:42:13 PM

Suede head: Would they want me? 6' 2", 205 lbs, red hair, blue-green eyes, IQ measured at 129, no genetic diseases. What kind of weird kid would I father with a Chinese chick?


Probably. Do you know any Chinese immigrant men? I do. They are rather sad and usually quite lonely. I wondered why this is and then I read an article that Chinese women immigrants tend to prefer Western men. American women do not particularly care for Chinese and other Asian men. So Chinese men are left with few, if any, choices for mates. Their lives here can be rather lonesome.

Have you ever seen any Chinese/Western offspring? They are usually rather comely.
 
2012-10-12 03:56:43 PM

scottpilgrimreaper: shifter_: Finally, something Canada and the US can Export to China through the previously useless trade agreement. This might be what we need to tip the economy back where it belongs! Come on and step up for your country boys. Lets send China our Fat, Lazy, Homer Simpson-Like sperm and the chinese can send us more lead laden toys and cheap consumer electronics. Personally I'll spunk a time or two for a new Blueray player and a Set of decent Speakers..........

Just remember that when the next generation of Chinese are 6ft 3, 280 pounds, and dying at 25 from genetic heart disease it was because the economy needed it!

So not only is it a plan to fix our current economic woes, but also a plan to keep us ahead of the Chinese for generations! Brilliant!


It's a combination of Foreplay and Forethinking. Diluting thier genetic code with heart disease, type two diabetes, and tendency to MS and Strokes seems like a decent way to open up the Asian markets to Pfizer and Novapharm, not to mention the disposition towards BBQ and Red meat that will help the Alberta Beef producers with a whole new export market.

For the sake of some Palm Lov'n, the North American ecomomy can't lose!
 
2012-10-12 03:58:27 PM
Been to China, in some cases it will be:

"And, my service come with complimentary paper bag for your lovely wife - wearing this during service makes everthing work better"
 
2012-10-12 03:59:17 PM

ManateeGag: on a completely unrelated note, how much is a flight to China these days?


The cheapest I'm aware of is in the ballpark of $1000 for a round trip flight. (No, I didn't look it up because of this article. My wife is from there, we visit every year.) Of course if you're not on the west coast the price goes up.

sithon: they don't want your nasty gwei lo sperm .So you can just cool your jets .


Good point--they're going to want yellow sperm, not white sperm.
 
2012-10-12 04:00:20 PM

plausdeny: shifter_: Just remember that when the next generation of Chinese are 6ft 3, 280 pounds, and dying at 25 from genetic heart disease it was because the economy needed it!

As the father of two half-Chinese children who will also get to check the Hispanic box when they fill out their Form 4473s, I have to say that the mix works out well.

They're both thin (from my wife's side) but they have my heavier bone structure and muscle. Interestingly, they both have better vision than either of us had at that age. My son looks more Chinese in the face, but he has broad shoulders and the muscle mass to knock my wife over... at five.

My daughter is taller than her peers and more graceful. Her talent show entry this year was a Kung Fu form with the Chinese broadsword (private schools don't freak out about sport weapons). Two weekends ago, she asked to take a turn on my silenced M-14, and she drilled a shot 4 inches directly above the bullseye at 200 yards. She complained a little about the recoil, and I told her it might be a little too much gun for an 8 year old.

They both read and do math a couple grades above their age-group.

Basically, it seems the genetic shortcomings of my wife and I washed out and the better stuff dominated. The one question outstanding is whether the kids got the Asian alcohol intolerance, or my iron liver, which will have to wait.

So, Chinese ladies, mix it up a bit. I think you'll like the results.


The difference between my example and yours is, think of the type of fellows that will be producing our newest export......... they won't exactly be the creme of the genetic pool........ in fact I doubt many will be outside of thier mother's basement......
 
2012-10-12 04:00:27 PM

Bacontastesgood: Skyfrog: Don't they have kind of a population problem anyway?

No:


I'd still say 1.4 billion people is a population problem.

(On the other hand, a too-low birthrate is a demographic problem of another sort.)
 
2012-10-12 04:06:07 PM
Maybe if they'd stop putting it in the Coke...
 
2012-10-12 04:19:35 PM

plausdeny: Her talent show entry this year was a Kung Fu form with the Chinese broadsword (private schools don't freak out about sport weapons).


What style does she train in?
 
2012-10-12 04:34:52 PM
Shenanigans
 
2012-10-12 04:43:49 PM

Bacontastesgood:
No:
[www.data360.org image 500x350]
Not like india, which is totally farked.



While everyone can agree that India is farked, what is the meaning behind that chart of the future China?
What happens in 2030?
 
2012-10-12 04:48:36 PM

cwheelie: What style does she train in?


Gangnam Style? Oh, wait, that's Korean. :D
 
2012-10-12 05:17:33 PM

JackieRabbit: Suede head: Would they want me? 6' 2", 205 lbs, red hair, blue-green eyes, IQ measured at 129, no genetic diseases. What kind of weird kid would I father with a Chinese chick?

Probably. Do you know any Chinese immigrant men? I do. They are rather sad and usually quite lonely. I wondered why this is and then I read an article that Chinese women immigrants tend to prefer Western men. American women do not particularly care for Chinese and other Asian men. So Chinese men are left with few, if any, choices for mates. Their lives here can be rather lonesome.

Have you ever seen any Chinese/Western offspring? They are usually rather comely.


Yeah, I know a couple of cases where white men have much more attractive Asian wives because the women "traded up" racially (horrible term, I know). I'm guessing we'll see less of that as East Asia continues to rise and that seeming inferiority complex diminishes.
 
2012-10-12 05:52:43 PM

Suede head: JackieRabbit: Suede head: Would they want me? 6' 2", 205 lbs, red hair, blue-green eyes, IQ measured at 129, no genetic diseases. What kind of weird kid would I father with a Chinese chick?

Probably. Do you know any Chinese immigrant men? I do. They are rather sad and usually quite lonely. I wondered why this is and then I read an article that Chinese women immigrants tend to prefer Western men. American women do not particularly care for Chinese and other Asian men. So Chinese men are left with few, if any, choices for mates. Their lives here can be rather lonesome.

Have you ever seen any Chinese/Western offspring? They are usually rather comely.

Yeah, I know a couple of cases where white men have much more attractive Asian wives because the women "traded up" racially (horrible term, I know). I'm guessing we'll see less of that as East Asia continues to rise and that seeming inferiority complex diminishes.


Not a chance. Asian chicks are very particular about the size of cock that goes in them. Can't be too big, or black. Can't be too small, or Asian. Has to be just right, or white as they are prone to pronouncing it.
 
2012-10-12 06:43:27 PM

SageC: Meanwhile, in Japan.
[i48.tinypic.com image 799x564]


Mmmm Pizza..
 
2012-10-12 08:05:33 PM
I'll go over there and help. I love the exotic look and build of many of the Asian races, both male and female.

/mmmmmmm, Gackt, Peter Le
 
2012-10-12 08:35:45 PM

sithon: they don't want your nasty gwei lo sperm .So you can just cool your jets .


Laowai... or Sai yan... 西人

And if you're a really strong foreigner... you're a super sai yan ;)

/kameeeeeehaaaaaameeeehaaaaaaaaaaa
 
2012-10-12 09:30:52 PM
Cybernetic
What is he better at, rolling egg rolls or burritos?
 
2012-10-12 10:31:40 PM
img.chinalovematch.net
"OK, Subby, we use intercourse, may take many months of daily loving to get child"
 
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