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(Politico)   Sarah Palin compares Ryan's performance to watching someone being trampled by a musk ox   ( divider line
    More: Followup, Martha Raddatz, Sarah Palin, Biden, human beings, Julius Genachowski, Sean Hannity, watch, Biden runs  
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5318 clicks; posted to Politics » on 12 Oct 2012 at 12:07 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2012-10-12 05:05:08 PM  

mrshowrules: fqhollis: So they're calling Biden an "angry white man"? Is this prep work for the (presumably) more aggressive President Obama that will show up next week? If the President is aggressive towards Romney, what will they call him?


If Obama acts like Biden, debate security will tazer him and tackle him to the floor even if he isn't wearing a hoodie.

That would be awesome! Then we would get to watch the Secret Service beat the ever-lovin' piss out of a couple of Rent-A-Cops. Now that's good TV!
2012-10-12 05:06:09 PM  
Meh. Just for freaking once, I'd love to see a debate with the VPs done in the style of MXC. It'd be so much more watchable. Just imagine Vic Romano and Kenny Blankenship and Guy LeDouche narrating things.

Vic: I'm Vic Romano!

Kenny: And I'm Kenny Blankenship!

Vic: And tonight we welcome you to the Most Extreme Presidential Runner-Up debate!

Kenny: Runner up?

Vic: They get to be President if the real one dies, Kenny.

Kenny: I bet their Presidents have lots of "accidents", huh, Vic?

Vic: Only if nobody can't prove nothin', Kenny. Tonight, the debate between Ryan and Biden is expected to rise to a fever pitch, and the audience looks like they're all excited to be here!

Kenny: Why are WE here, anyway?

Vic: Don't know about you, Ken, but I needed the work and I'm hoping Biden snaps and hurts someone.

Kenny: Yeah, I got like ten bucks on that happening.

Vic: Safe bet, Ken. Looks like tonight's moderator is going to get things started.

Kenny: Who is that, Vic?

Vic: I'm thinking the fat kid from "Happy Days".

Kenny: The who? From what?

Vic: A used-up actor nobody remembers, Kenny.

Kenny: I bet you two would have a lot to talk about, huh, Vic?

Vic: Kenny!

Kenny: Ha, ha!

Vic: First question of the night goes to candidate Ryan. "What's the most serious threat facing this nation today?" And OH MY GOD!

Kenny: Did you just see that?!

Vic: Things are off to a nasty start! Ryan's answer was "Joe Biden", and in a rage, Biden's picked up his podium and hurled it at his opponent, narrowly missing and smashing it to pieces!

Kenny: Twenty bucks! I get twenty bucks!

Vic: Ryan's taking his tie and jacket off, but no time for that for Biden, his tie comes off easily as a clip-on and damn the jacket! He's leapt onto Ryan and seems to be throttling the life out of him!

Kenny: I think Ryan peed his pants!

Vic: I would too, Ken. Biden is scary! I hear that Biden tore his own grandson's appendix out with his bare hands when he got appendicitis. And he told him to quit whining!

Kenny: And what's this? "God Bless the USA" is playing on the loudspeaker and the spotlight is on the end of the isle?

Vic: I can't believe it! Mitt Romney has interrupted this debate to aid his V.P.! He's charging the ring! Where's the moderator?!

Kenny: Looks like he'shiatting on some fat chick in the audience. What's Romney doing?

Vic: Seems... seems he's reached the edge of the ring. And stopped. He's not doing anything. Meanwhile Ryan has slipped his choke hold, gained his feet, and is flailing wildly at Biden.

Kenny: Why isn't Mitt doing anything?

Vic: American politics, Kenny. The Republican party doesn't like independant thinkers. They just want a president who doesn't do anything but sign whatever is put in front of him and does as he is told by the party leaders.

Kenny: So he's just going to stand there?

Vic: Seems that way, Ken. But wait! "Born in the USA" is playing, and we've got another spotlight!

Kenny: It's the President! Barack Obama heads towards the ring, flanked by a squad of his secret squirrels!

Vic: Secret service, Ken. Service.

Kenny: He's carrying a ladder! ...kind of slowly. Boy, he looks tired. He doesn't look like he came ready today.

Vic: Must be the low altitude here, Ken. This thick air can really mess up a man's lungs.

Kenny: Biden's got the ladder up and Ryan's on the mat. And Romney's still standing there.

Vic: And Biden leaves the ring? He'll be counted out, a disgraceful loss if it happens!

Kenny: Nah. The moderator's still hitting on that fat chick.

Vic: He's got a steel folding chair! Joe Biden is going back into the ring with a weapon!

Kenny: Move, you idiot! MOVE!

Vic: I don't think Ryan can do much, Ken. Biden has a vicious left hook, which Ryan learned much too late!

Kenny: I meant Romney. Dude's just standing there. Like he's waiting to be plugged in.

Vic: Biden's got the chair! He's climbing the ladder! This could be a quick end to a seriously unproductive debate!

Kenny: Another theme song! We've got more people joining the fight! And... wait. Vic? Whose theme song is "Somebody just pooped"?

Vic: I don't believe it! Show the outside video. Look, Kenny! Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann have arrived in a stretch hummer limo!

Kenny: But "Somebody just pooped"?

Vic: Well, Palin says it's Trig's favorite song, and Bachmann said it was one of the four songs she had on her iPod, so it was the only thing they could agree on.

Kenny: You may remember Sarah Palin from her Learning Channel reality show, "Sarah Palin's Alaska". Here's a clip.

Sarah Palin, to daughter in clip: "Hay ho, howdy thar. No BOOYZZZ upstairs!" Clip ends.

Vic: A life lesson to be sure.

Kenny: What do you mean, Vic?

Vic: Well, Sarah Palin is a conservative Republican christian. They place strong morals and family values very highly, Ken.

Kenny: Wasn't her underage daughter pregnant before this?

Vic: Well...

Kenny: This is like closing the barn door after the horse is already gone.

Vic: That's not fair, Kenny....

Kenny: Yeah, it's worse. It's like closing the barn door after the horse is already out in the middle of the field foaling.

Vic: Right, right. Our conservative duo is charging towards the studio even now. Is Biden in trouble?

Kenny: Ha, ha. Looks like they're the ones having trouble.

Vic: Ken's right for once, folks. Palin and Bachmann have hit a door on their side of the hall that just won't open. It appears to be locked!

Kenny: But Vic. There's a sign on the door. It says "Please use other door". Why don't they just use the other door? It's like two feet away!

Vic: You don't understand American politics, Ken. It's incomprehensible for a christian conservative republican to take so much as a single step to the left to get anything done.

Kenny: Politics is stupid.

Vic: You got that right, Ken. And going back to the debate... it's over. We missed it! What happened?

Kenny: Quick! Send in Guy.

Vic: Let's go to Guy LeDouche! Seems he's got Mitt Romney.

Guy: I'm Guy LeDouche, and with me is Mitt Romney, presidential candidate. Mister Romney, is it true you Mormons get seven wives?

Mitt: Well...

Guy: How do you arrange that, anyway? Do you take turns?

Mitt: Well, there's the on-wife and the off-wives. You rotate out until the feds put you in jail. Then everyone bigger than you takes turns sodomizing you.

Guy: Oooh, ho ho ho! GUY LIKE!

Vic: Disturbing and insightful as always, Guy.

Kenny: So who won?

Vic: I have no idea. Let's check the polls.

Kenny: Right. Okay. 100% of Republicans attending say Ryan won. 100% of the Democrats attending say Biden won. And 100% of Independants attending are angry about the lack of beer concessions in the arena.

Vic: Wow. This gig was pretty much a total loss.

Kenny: I guess we can wrap this up and hope we still get paid.

Vic: Right. What do we always say?!

Kenny: Uh, we're not doing MXC.

Vic: Right, right. Um... "Let's vote for a candidate!"

Kenny: That works. ...none of this is going to be shown anyway.

/Posted that in the debate thread
//Nobody noticed
2012-10-12 05:41:13 PM  

Agneska: Biden was like an unhinged crazy old coot. Lying, giggling, eye-rolling, and deceiving. Democrats sure know how to pick 'em.

Like Rmoney was last week, right?
2012-10-12 05:45:02 PM  
You whiny thinned-skinned wimps. Romney leaves tire tracks on Jim Lehrer and he's declared a hero. Biden beats The Fresh Prince of Wisconsin and he's the most evil human being since Hitler.
2012-10-12 05:48:22 PM  

Cpl.D: Kenny: Looks like he'shiatting on some fat chick in the audience.

As filterpwns go, this was a nice one
2012-10-12 05:53:13 PM  

Agneska: Agneska: Mugato: Agneska: Biden was like an unhinged crazy old coot. Lying, giggling, eye-rolling, and deceiving. Democrats sure know how to pick 'em.

If that's how you really view that debate, what does it say for "your guy" that even the liberals are (generously) saying that it was a tie?

Post debate polls were more favorable towards Biden, sonny boy. Read them and weep.

I meant to say "favorable towards Ryan."

Biden wouldn't let Ryan talk about the issues and the moderator was a librul, so of course the polls would favor the Party of Personal ResponsibilityTM.
2012-10-12 06:22:35 PM  
The part that angers me is that when Romney did something similar, they viewed him as being the better debater. At least the Democratic side can still blame their candidate when they lose a debate.

Also, to be fair, Ryan was way outmatched, experience-wise.
2012-10-12 06:37:18 PM  
That was really funny! Thank you Sarah for the wildlife imagery.
2012-10-12 07:57:45 PM  

Servocrowatian: What's wrong, never learned how to lose gracefully?

Last week, plenty of Dems showed that they can do it. Why not you?

Conservatives are a top-down bunch of sheep. The day they lose gracefully is the day they are told collectively to do so.
2012-10-12 08:12:20 PM  
As much as I hate Sarah Palin, I must say, she did better against Biden than Ryan did.
2012-10-12 10:19:13 PM  

Tamater: Has anyone pointed out that "verbage" isn't a word?

This woman truly is like Shakespeare.... Coining new words left and right...

It is when the article spells it correctly.
2012-10-13 04:40:23 AM  

LatamaCoricama: As much as I hate Sarah Palin, I must say, she did better against Biden than Ryan did.

How could anyone have ever imagined such a thing? And yet, yes, you are right.
2012-10-13 10:42:19 PM  

Bleyo: Wow, I thought subby was talking about musk oxen as a joke. She literally said that.

My favorite part of the debate:

Ryan: "The stimulus was a failure!"
Biden: "I have two letters from you asking for stimulus funds where you say it creates economic growth and jobs. I hope you enjoyed those millions I sent you."
Ryan: "Uh... err... shiat." 
Biden: "Feel free to send more letters any time." *Biden debate grin*

That was my favorite part as well. Was watching it with a bunch of people. The room looked like the crowd at one of those and1 games back in the late nineties.

/Ohh DAAMMNNN!!!!!!
2012-10-14 04:31:40 AM  
Fourteen minutes and 54 seconds,
Fourteen minutes and 55 seconds,
Fourteen minutes and 56 seconds,
Fourteen minutes and 57 seconds,.....
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