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(Some Guy)   The alien motherships will soon arrive and begin harvesting us for food. It's been nice knowing you   (darkgovernment.com) divider line 167
    More: Scary, Mars Probes, present time, United States Navy, chemical weapons  
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15989 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Oct 2012 at 10:35 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-10-12 10:52:28 AM

HotWingConspiracy: Better than the alien rape ships.


I like Alien Rape
 
2012-10-12 10:53:16 AM
How to Cook Humans
How to Cook For Humans
How to Cook Forty Humans
How to Cook For Forty Humans

Lousy space dust
 
2012-10-12 10:53:24 AM

kvinesknows: also.. most Farkers will be safe from being eaten because Anyone advanced enough to travel that far and build ships that large already knows a low fat diet is best. Sure we might be slaughtered for special occasions like Christmas, but the moment we introduce them to HAM and BACON they wont even bother with us anymore.


That's not particularly good reasoning. Any race that came to Earth to eat humans is probably expending more energy than all of mankind's industry has ever produced to travel light-years across an unforgiving interstellar void. Humans are not particularly nutritious as earth's animals go, plus we reproduce slowly and are supremely inefficient at converting feed to body mass.

Let's face it, if aliens want to eat us, it's as an exotic delicacy, not a staple food. Kind of like those milk-fattened calves that get daily massages and wind up getting sold for like $100/lb.

/ There's probably just one or two other things about this story that don't quite make sense...
 
2012-10-12 10:53:51 AM
I enjoy conspiracy theorists as much as the next guy, but a malicious site on the main page... really?
 
2012-10-12 10:54:15 AM
As long as we can find a working Apple Powerbook, I think we'll be ok.
 
2012-10-12 10:54:35 AM

H31N0US: kiwimoogle84: *punch*
Welcome to earth.earf

/sorry, pet peeve


media.giantbomb.com 

/someone had to
 
2012-10-12 10:55:56 AM
Some serious BS, FTA "Not long ago a Russian Mars probe photographed an object fitting this description just before it was destroyed for unknown reasons. Later, an American Mars probe was destroyed just before it reached that planet."

What Russian Mars Probe? Phobos-Grunt? If so it never got out of orbit and never photographed anything. Also what American Mars probe was recently destroyed?
 
2012-10-12 10:57:06 AM

Martian_Astronomer: kvinesknows: also.. most Farkers will be safe from being eaten because Anyone advanced enough to travel that far and build ships that large already knows a low fat diet is best. Sure we might be slaughtered for special occasions like Christmas, but the moment we introduce them to HAM and BACON they wont even bother with us anymore.

That's not particularly good reasoning. Any race that came to Earth to eat humans is probably expending more energy than all of mankind's industry has ever produced to travel light-years across an unforgiving interstellar void. Humans are not particularly nutritious as earth's animals go, plus we reproduce slowly and are supremely inefficient at converting feed to body mass.

Let's face it, if aliens want to eat us, it's as an exotic delicacy, not a staple food. Kind of like those milk-fattened calves that get daily massages and wind up getting sold for like $100/lb.

/ There's probably just one or two other things about this story that don't quite make sense...


true. but again.. BACON
 
2012-10-12 10:58:10 AM
Oh, and add me to the group shaking our heads in pity that such utter horsepoo is given validation by being greened here.
 
2012-10-12 10:59:34 AM
Relax, they're only here for the extremists. The brain damage that makes them so crazy is considered a delicacy by the aliens. It'll make for an interesting election as the GOP will be largely decimated, and the Democrats will lose a fair hunk of their animal rights block. NOW and NOM will be left with a couple secretaries and the janitorial staff.
 
2012-10-12 10:59:47 AM

zobear: As long as we can find a working Apple Powerbook, I think we'll be ok.


Here you go. I have one for sale....CHEAP

www.zug.com

www.zug.com
 
2012-10-12 10:59:48 AM
dorkshelf.com
 
2012-10-12 11:02:03 AM

ChipNASA: Here you go. I have one for sale....CHEAP


That looks awesome. How much RAM does it have? Is the motivator still good on it?
 
2012-10-12 11:02:26 AM

you have pee hands: I do wonder what it's like to be that crazy. It must be hard to be afraid of everything all the time and to have no one take you seriously.


This is what makes the teabaggers so angry all the time.
 
2012-10-12 11:02:28 AM

kvinesknows: you have pee hands: kvinesknows: also.. most Farkers will be safe from being eaten because Anyone advanced enough to travel that far and build ships that large already knows a low fat diet is best. Sure we might be slaughtered for special occasions like Christmas, but the moment we introduce them to HAM and BACON they wont even bother with us anymore.

They might be Atkins diet aliens.

hmm.. good point.. but still BACON! we hook them mofos on that and they will just turn us all into pub farmers.


What if the aliens have a ray that will turn us INTO bacon, huh? Then we're all royally farked.
 
2012-10-12 11:02:45 AM

ChipNASA: zobear: As long as we can find a working Apple Powerbook, I think we'll be ok.

Here you go. I have one for sale....CHEAP

[www.zug.com image 500x377]

[www.zug.com image 500x376]


I wonder what ever happened to that guy.
 
2012-10-12 11:03:45 AM

tzzhc4: Some serious BS, FTA "Not long ago a Russian Mars probe photographed an object fitting this description just before it was destroyed for unknown reasons. Later, an American Mars probe was destroyed just before it reached that planet."

What Russian Mars Probe? Phobos-Grunt? If so it never got out of orbit and never photographed anything. Also what American Mars probe was recently destroyed?


Shhhhh, your expecting logicial answers from crazy, you'll just confuse the poor thing.
 
2012-10-12 11:04:36 AM

The Envoy: kvinesknows: you have pee hands: kvinesknows: also.. most Farkers will be safe from being eaten because Anyone advanced enough to travel that far and build ships that large already knows a low fat diet is best. Sure we might be slaughtered for special occasions like Christmas, but the moment we introduce them to HAM and BACON they wont even bother with us anymore.

They might be Atkins diet aliens.

hmm.. good point.. but still BACON! we hook them mofos on that and they will just turn us all into pub farmers.

What if the aliens have a ray that will turn us INTO bacon, huh? Then we're all royally farked.


well for the most part only the Fat people will be because.. oh.. umm.. damn.
 
2012-10-12 11:06:04 AM
Aliens: We've come for your oil. What? You burnt all the goddamn oil? In CARS? You FARKING DUMBSHIATS!
 
2012-10-12 11:08:36 AM

H31N0US: kiwimoogle84: *punch*
Welcome to earth.earf

/sorry, pet peeve


You are 1000% right.
 
2012-10-12 11:09:12 AM
Was the 'Stupid' tag abducted?
 
2012-10-12 11:10:40 AM

ChipNASA: HotWingConspiracy: Better than the alien rape ships.

I like Alien Rape


The humans have ways of shutting all that down as long as it was a "legitimate" probe.
 
2012-10-12 11:10:48 AM
What's really sad is that if it ever does happen, the tinfoil hat folks will be the ones to sound the alarms, and people will dismiss them because the majority of the time they are crazy. The actual government will more than likely miss them (we can only monitor a tiny portion of the sky, which is why just recently - 2009 - we had a ~41000mi passby of a meteor which we had no idea was there) until some tinfoil hat person sounds a horn.

Popular media will be explicitly forbidden from the government from saying anything to prevent a mass panic, which will leave less popular/more fringe media promoting the stories. People will chalk it up to fantasy like 9/11 truthers. Ultimately people will probably dismiss it until the day things actually land, and even then unless they land around the entire planet people will still claim that it's craziness and hysteria.

Its kind of amazing how controlling media can control what people perceive as reality.
 
2012-10-12 11:12:38 AM
Rare elements? There are no elements on Earth that are worth the gravity well.
You could trivially find anything on Earth out in the asteroid belt or on the smaller moons of the outer system.
It would be easier to get to, easier to mine, easier to bring to... wherever the hell you'd want to bring it.

I've never understood that part.
People construct these elaborate conspiracy theories and spend ridiculous amounts of energy on the details -- but they don't take 10 minutes to see if the supposed 'goal' of the theorized conspiracy passes the sniff test.
 
2012-10-12 11:16:07 AM
I think I have a new favorite website to delve into... for a couple of days, at least... until the crazy starts getting to me.
 
2012-10-12 11:16:55 AM
Seriously, why in dog's name would an alien race want us for food?! There are lots of things here more nutritious and easier to catch and/or raise for food.

But a species that's intelligent enough and social enough to form complex societies like ours... that's almost certainly a rarity, even on a galactic scale. There's no question that an invading alien force would want us for semi-skilled labor. Well, that and our natural resources. Those are the two things we have that are valuable enough to make the trip.
 
2012-10-12 11:17:26 AM

L.D. Ablo: X Day is nigh!

[upload.wikimedia.org image 216x324]


Aw Man! Just when I've achieved complete slackness.
 
2012-10-12 11:17:57 AM
images3.wikia.nocookie.net

Good thing XCOM just came out!

/goes back to "training"
 
2012-10-12 11:18:09 AM

scubamage: What's really sad is that if it ever does happen, the tinfoil hat folks will be the ones to sound the alarms, and people will dismiss them because the majority of the time they are crazy. The actual government will more than likely miss them (we can only monitor a tiny portion of the sky, which is why just recently - 2009 - we had a ~41000mi passby of a meteor which we had no idea was there) until some tinfoil hat person sounds a horn.


The tinfoil hatters don't actually do any science. They don't contribute. In fact their endless stream of perceived issues ends up wasting legitimate researcher's time.

If we are blind-sided by a threat it will be because the scientific community was busy trying to explain why WTC7 fell to some troofer for the 1000th time!
 
2012-10-12 11:18:23 AM
Hope they enjoy the soylent green.
 
2012-10-12 11:18:32 AM

kiwimoogle84: ChipNASA: HotWingConspiracy: Better than the alien rape ships.

I like Alien Rape

The humans have ways of shutting all that down as long as it was a "legitimate" probe.


I know I'd shut down under threat of legitimate probe.

/probably
//maybe
 
2012-10-12 11:18:45 AM
It's a streetlight.
 
2012-10-12 11:18:53 AM
Relax, people. They're only coming to take away the psykers.

/The Emperor Protects
 
2012-10-12 11:19:01 AM
Spoiler Alert!

They're killed by our germs and cooties.
 
2012-10-12 11:20:34 AM
It's the Reapers.
 
2012-10-12 11:20:43 AM

MoronLessOff: kiwimoogle84: ChipNASA: HotWingConspiracy: Better than the alien rape ships.

I like Alien Rape

The humans have ways of shutting all that down as long as it was a "legitimate" probe.

I know I'd shut down under threat of legitimate probe.

/probably
//maybe


I have video that proves otherwise.
 
2012-10-12 11:24:57 AM

kiwimoogle84: MoronLessOff: kiwimoogle84: ChipNASA: HotWingConspiracy: Better than the alien rape ships.

I like Alien Rape

The humans have ways of shutting all that down as long as it was a "legitimate" probe.

I know I'd shut down under threat of legitimate probe.

/probably
//maybe

I have video that proves otherwise.


You said it wasn't on!
 
2012-10-12 11:25:43 AM
:::checks messages:::

Nope, those are weather balloons. In space. Covered in space swamp gas.
 
2012-10-12 11:26:56 AM

Farking Canuck: scubamage: What's really sad is that if it ever does happen, the tinfoil hat folks will be the ones to sound the alarms, and people will dismiss them because the majority of the time they are crazy. The actual government will more than likely miss them (we can only monitor a tiny portion of the sky, which is why just recently - 2009 - we had a ~41000mi passby of a meteor which we had no idea was there) until some tinfoil hat person sounds a horn.

The tinfoil hatters don't actually do any science. They don't contribute. In fact their endless stream of perceived issues ends up wasting legitimate researcher's time.

If we are blind-sided by a threat it will be because the scientific community was busy trying to explain why WTC7 fell to some troofer for the 1000th time!


You do have to remember, some of those 9/11 truthers were forensic architects, people who did gas spectrometry on scrap metal from the site, etc. Not all of them are people repeating what they heard, some are actual scientists who raised questions on oddities found. The difference is, the scientists issued followups explaining why they found what they found.

So some of them do in fact do the science. It's not hard to believe some sky-watcher working at a lab will start seeing stars get blocked by a large object and start bleating about "the mothership" coming on some crazy AM station.
 
2012-10-12 11:26:57 AM
There are those who believe...

that life here
began out there,
Far across the Universe...
with tribes of humans...
who may have been the forefathers of the Egyptians...
or the Toltecs...
or the Mayans...
that they may have been the architects of the Great Pyramids...
or the lost civilizations of Lemuria...
or Atlantis.

Some believe that there may yet be brothers of man...
who even now fight to survive--somewhere beyond the heavens!
 
2012-10-12 11:29:11 AM
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
PJ-
2012-10-12 11:29:40 AM

ringersol: Rare elements? There are no elements on Earth that are worth the gravity well.
You could trivially find anything on Earth out in the asteroid belt or on the smaller moons of the outer system.
It would be easier to get to, easier to mine, easier to bring to... wherever the hell you'd want to bring it.

I've never understood that part.
People construct these elaborate conspiracy theories and spend ridiculous amounts of energy on the details -- but they don't take 10 minutes to see if the supposed 'goal' of the theorized conspiracy passes the sniff test.


Water
 
2012-10-12 11:30:29 AM
25.media.tumblr.com

Whee! Is fun!! Acka Acka!
 
2012-10-12 11:30:32 AM

MoronLessOff: kiwimoogle84: ChipNASA: HotWingConspiracy: Better than the alien rape ships.

I like Alien Rape

The humans have ways of shutting all that down as long as it was a "legitimate" probe.

I know I'd shut down under threat of legitimate probe.

/probably
//maybe


I'd probably kegel the crap out of them. I aim to please.
 
2012-10-12 11:31:05 AM

scubamage: What's really sad is that if it ever does happen, the tinfoil hat folks will be the ones to sound the alarms, and people will dismiss them because the majority of the time they are crazy. The actual government will more than likely miss them (we can only monitor a tiny portion of the sky, which is why just recently - 2009 - we had a ~41000mi passby of a meteor which we had no idea was there) until some tinfoil hat person sounds a horn.

Popular media will be explicitly forbidden from the government from saying anything to prevent a mass panic, which will leave less popular/more fringe media promoting the stories. People will chalk it up to fantasy like 9/11 truthers. Ultimately people will probably dismiss it until the day things actually land, and even then unless they land around the entire planet people will still claim that it's craziness and hysteria.

Its kind of amazing how controlling media can control what people perceive as reality.


Cassandras they'll be called, the lot of them. Of course who's going to be around to call them that is another matter.
 
2012-10-12 11:33:25 AM
bowjamesbow.ca
Hello, Stonehenge!
 
2012-10-12 11:34:55 AM

Just_Dan: MoronLessOff: kiwimoogle84: ChipNASA: HotWingConspiracy: Better than the alien rape ships.

I like Alien Rape

The humans have ways of shutting all that down as long as it was a "legitimate" probe.

I know I'd shut down under threat of legitimate probe.

/probably
//maybe

I'd probably kegel the crap out of them. I aim to please.


I'd kill for a cigarette. It'll help me relax.
 
2012-10-12 11:36:04 AM
Link

Raaar! Oh! Gesundheit!
 
2012-10-12 11:38:17 AM
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
 
2012-10-12 11:38:43 AM
I hope they're Ballchinian. *punch*
 
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