The Dupa plan to rescue the post office & make the world a better place...
Charge 4 cents for every e-mail & text sent.
One penny would go to the NSA, and one to the FBI, to help cover the expense of reviewing your mail. For national security purposes, of course. You want security, right?
A penny for the children. Because it's for the children
And, of course, one penny to the Post Office, so they can keep delivering buggy whips.

boy you people really think you're smart, if you're so smart, tell me how all those political flyers and credit card offers are supposed to deliver themselves without a post office.