FARK.com: (7376495) "Kevin James has a weird profession and a too-hot wife #5" isn't the Oscar contender we all thought it would be

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		"Kevin James has a weird profession and a too-hot wife #5" isn't the Oscar contender we all thought it would be (starpulse.com)		86
		More: Obvious, Oscar, Paul Blart, Henry Winkler, school nurse, swinging, Salma Hayek

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13722 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 11 Oct 2012 at 4:10 PM | Favorite | share:

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Mugato		2012-10-11 12:40:09 PM

Oh come on, Salma Hayek? Leah Remini was ridiculous enough but Salma?

coco ebert		2012-10-11 12:44:43 PM

I'm sorry, a movie called "Here Comes the Boom" isn't ever going to be a contender for anything but the $2 sales bin at your local Best Buy.

TheCharmerUnderMe		2012-10-11 12:46:48 PM

I almost threw a shoe at the TV when I saw that Selma Hayak was the love interest in the ad.

scottydoesntknow		2012-10-11 12:48:12 PM

One Bad Apple		2012-10-11 12:52:17 PM

I'm really hoping this movie plays up Bas Rutten more than Kevin James

Klippoklondike		2012-10-11 01:13:26 PM

One Bad Apple: I'm really hoping this movie plays up Bas Rutten more than Kevin James

Bas is the man. More people must embrace El Guapo.

sammyk		2012-10-11 01:20:44 PM

TheCharmerUnderMe: I almost threw a shoe at the TV when I saw that Selma Hayak was the love interest in the ad.

I feel the same way every time I see one of David Spades leading ladies.

Sybarite		2012-10-11 01:28:49 PM

Weird, seeing Henry Winkler in this jarred loose a memory of that movie where he becomes a professional wrestler when he can't get a job acting.

scottydoesntknow		2012-10-11 01:28:56 PM

sammyk: TheCharmerUnderMe: I almost threw a shoe at the TV when I saw that Selma Hayak was the love interest in the ad.

I feel the same way every time I see one of David Spades leading ladies.

You do realize that David Spade has one of the most impressive dating rap sheets in Hollywood right? No one knows why, but he lands A LOT of hotties.

David Spade dating history

sammyk		2012-10-11 01:36:48 PM

Mugato		2012-10-11 01:41:16 PM

scottydoesntknow: sammyk: TheCharmerUnderMe: I almost threw a shoe at the TV when I saw that Selma Hayak was the love interest in the ad.

I feel the same way every time I see one of David Spades leading ladies.

You do realize that David Spade has one of the most impressive dating rap sheets in Hollywood right? No one knows why, but he lands A LOT of hotties.

David Spade dating history

Yeah, David Spade gets girls in real life because he's rich and has the kind of smarmy asshole-ness that a lot of chicks with low self esteem dig, I get that. But Kevin James always plays a dumpy loser with no real charisma yet somehow hooks up with a hot intelligent woman who manages to put up with him. I have to reserve that sort of suspension of disbelief for comic book movies or movies where Russel Brand is supposed to be funny.

Elzar		2012-10-11 02:46:57 PM

Salma Hayek as a nurse? If there is enough requisite clevage, this may be on many a farker's DVR in a year or two...

olddeegee		2012-10-11 03:04:55 PM

Blart and Zoo Keeper actually amused me, this looks like it really sucks. One real plus about Kevin James films; They're like watching an Adam Sandler movie without having to see Adam Sandler.

LawPD		2012-10-11 04:16:21 PM

One of many truly funny comedians who should have never made the switch to acting.

carrion_luggage		2012-10-11 04:17:23 PM

Here Comes Unfunny Boom-Boom

indarwinsshadow		2012-10-11 04:20:25 PM

I'll just leave this here

media.celebrity-pictures.ca

Ow! That was my feelings!		2012-10-11 04:20:27 PM

LawPD: One of many truly funny comedians who should have never made the switch to acting.

i.imgur.com

Tat'dGreaser		2012-10-11 04:23:48 PM

There really aren't layers to its humor, and clearly comes off generated for a specific audience.

Duhhhhh

I don't expect this movie to win Oscars but I'll probably watch it On Demand

Tat'dGreaser		2012-10-11 04:25:24 PM

scottydoesntknow: You do realize that David Spade has one of the most impressive dating rap sheets in Hollywood right? No one knows why, but he lands A LOT of hotties.

David Spade dating history

Holy.........he's a God. I mean he is God in a goofy looking meat suit.

Mmmm Brittany Daniel.

You the man David. *knucks*

aaronx		2012-10-11 04:25:45 PM

'Prinz' Lee Romero needs a copy editor. Chunks of that were barely English.

Girion47		2012-10-11 04:26:13 PM

the_celt		2012-10-11 04:27:08 PM

Kevin James? Meh,,,

This thread needs more Salma Hayek..

www.howmuchdotheyweigh.com

/hot
//a man can always dream..

Tat'dGreaser		2012-10-11 04:28:50 PM

Girion47: [www.cwomen.com image 450x912]

Gotdamn, those hips

downtownkid		2012-10-11 04:29:01 PM

And uniforms, don't forget uniforms. Kevin James will never turn down a scrip[t where he gets to wear a uniform.

Chainsaw Turd Elf		2012-10-11 04:39:26 PM

I would like to read Tigra and Bunny's review of this movie as I know that they both like the boom.

un4gvn666		2012-10-11 04:56:12 PM

fark you, Kevin James. This is now an "implausible fictional Kevin James spouses" thread.

images.celebritymoviearchive.com

jazz710		2012-10-11 04:59:37 PM

There's a place in the world for movies like this. Why does every movie have to be a metaphysical trip through the human soul? It's a silly movie about a failing school (something people can relate to) with an interesting premise on how to raise money. Sure, it's not something I'd queue up around the corner to see and it won't win at Cannes, but I'm sure that it's got a few chuckles along the way and I bet it doesn't take itself too seriously. I don't think Kevin James is out there trying to tell people it's the movie of the decade. It's escapism more than art, and that seems okay...

/welcometofark.jpg
//I like KJ
///Dollar theaters rule

un4gvn666		2012-10-11 05:01:36 PM

jazz710: //I like KJ

Get a rope.

Ready-set		2012-10-11 05:02:18 PM

I heard RemIni is a Scientologist. And the whole fat thing, yeah...
Like a lot of guys, I've found myself watching old eps of KoQ for one damn reason, though.

'That's a spicy-a meatball!'

SweetRoisinDubh		2012-10-11 05:09:44 PM

Link

Is it really that unbelievable that he'd get the hot chick? The link above is him with his actual wife. (Sorry, I'm having issues adding the photo for some reason).

Embden.Meyerhof		2012-10-11 05:16:11 PM

I missed the part where they said Salma's character was his wife. Can someone point that out?

Oh, subby was wrong? huh.

tarkus1980		2012-10-11 05:25:13 PM

SweetRoisinDubh: Link

Is it really that unbelievable that he'd get the hot chick? The link above is him with his actual wife. (Sorry, I'm having issues adding the photo for some reason).

To be fair, in real life he's rich and (as far as Hollywood comic actors go) successful. In his movies he always plays dumpy losers but manages to still score the same quality of tail.

Flappyhead		2012-10-11 05:41:28 PM

Klippoklondike: One Bad Apple: I'm really hoping this movie plays up Bas Rutten more than Kevin James

Bas is the man. More people must embrace El Guapo.

Punk Payback is by far one of the most entertaining things on television.

"A little shove and my old pal Newton does the rest."

AeAe		2012-10-11 05:42:02 PM

Rickj		2012-10-11 05:56:48 PM

tarkus1980: SweetRoisinDubh: Link

Is it really that unbelievable that he'd get the hot chick? The link above is him with his actual wife. (Sorry, I'm having issues adding the photo for some reason).

To be fair, in real life he's rich and (as far as Hollywood comic actors go) successful. In his movies he always plays dumpy losers but manages to still score the same quality of tail.

What? So things in movies are sometimes exaggerated and don't depict real life? My whole reality is ruined!!

mooseyfate		2012-10-11 05:58:26 PM

One Bad Apple: I'm really hoping this movie plays up Bas Rutten more than Kevin James

"I don't know what you are talking about, but I'm pretty sure it's covered in my next book."

/Bas is comedy gold
//and a hell of a good guy

Barry McCackiner		2012-10-11 06:00:59 PM

indarwinsshadow: I'll just leave this here

[media.celebrity-pictures.ca image 850x637]

Dem hips

tarkus1980		2012-10-11 06:03:54 PM

Rickj: tarkus1980: SweetRoisinDubh: Link

Is it really that unbelievable that he'd get the hot chick? The link above is him with his actual wife. (Sorry, I'm having issues adding the photo for some reason).

To be fair, in real life he's rich and (as far as Hollywood comic actors go) successful. In his movies he always plays dumpy losers but manages to still score the same quality of tail.

What? So things in movies are sometimes exaggerated and don't depict real life? My whole reality is ruined!!

I like to believe the islands in Jurassic Park are real.

czetie		2012-10-11 06:13:11 PM

Not sure which is lower, my expectations for that movie or the writing quality of that review.

Okoboji		2012-10-11 06:23:29 PM

czetie: Not sure which is lower, my expectations for that movie or the writing quality of that review.

It was geared for a specific audience... just like the movie it was halfheartedly slamming.

whither_apophis		2012-10-11 06:30:22 PM

Girion47:

Carla Tortelli's daughter is all grown up!

/yeah I'm that old

kroonermanblack		2012-10-11 06:38:32 PM

Okoboji: czetie: Not sure which is lower, my expectations for that movie or the writing quality of that review.

It was geared for a specific audience... just like the movie it was halfheartedly slamming.

Except the specific audience for the movie wants little more than popcorn flick fun, while the specific audience for the review seems to have some forty foot soapbox on which to insult and demean everyone who doesn't think indecipherable indie film you've never seen in an extinct language is the epitome of cinema.

One is harmless, the other needs to be shot.

/it's a popcorn movie
//Yes, it's farking stupid, that's THE WHOLE POINT

Girion47		2012-10-11 06:48:43 PM

whither_apophis: Girion47:

Carla Tortelli's daughter is all grown up!

/yeah I'm that old

I had a major crush on her in Saved By The Bell, we can be old together.

cryinoutloud		2012-10-11 06:51:39 PM

Mugato: Oh come on, Salma Hayek?

Mugato: Oh come on, Salma Hayek?

All I wanted to say. Oh yeah, this--I like David Spade. So there. And there is nothing wrong with my self ex-teem.

Texas Gabe		2012-10-11 06:58:58 PM

From Wikipedia:

Personal life

On June 19, 2004, James married actress Steffiana de la Cruz.[13] Their first child, daughter Sienna-Marie, was born 2005. Their second daughter, Shea Joelle, was born 2007, she was named after the ballpark Shea Stadium.[14] They welcomed their first son and third child, Kannon Valentine, 2011.

Steffiana De La Cruz
img1.bdbphotos.com

timswar		2012-10-11 07:24:17 PM

First step to being able to date someone is just being able to meet them. It's not necessarily that guys like Kevin James or David Spade have anything particularly special going on, it's just that they're in the sort of jobs and social circles where one meets famous attractive women. Eventually you'll find the ones that know they can get any attractive guy and are more interested in the ones who can make them laugh and feel comfortable.

/Being rich doesn't hurt, of course. The blow-them-out-of-the-water first date is easier to pull off when you're willing to blow 50k

JosephFinn		2012-10-11 07:28:42 PM

Doesn't hurt that by all accounts he's a decent guy who does what's required in his job, shows up on time, doesn't act like an ass on the job and so forth. You hear a lot that directors would rather work with someone like that than someone who might be great but also acts like an ass all the time. (Daniel Day Lewis might be intense and way into the part while on set, but never seems like he's an ass about it.)

Jiro Dreams Of McRibs		2012-10-11 07:29:25 PM

For the ladies:

bearmythology.files.wordpress.com

RyansPrivates		2012-10-11 07:35:51 PM

Texas Gabe: From Wikipedia:

Personal life

On June 19, 2004, James married actress Steffiana de la Cruz.[13] Their first child, daughter Sienna-Marie, was born 2005. Their second daughter, Shea Joelle, was born 2007, she was named after the ballpark Shea Stadium.[14] They welcomed their first son and third child, Kannon Valentine, 2011.

Steffiana De La Cruz
[img1.bdbphotos.com image 450x629]

GIS her and you see that oddly enough, this dude isn't really taking a huge step up (if at all) in believabiltiy to have Leah Remini as his wife. Now Salma, that is not believable: Not believable for really any man unless he is a freaking billionaire.